Chapter 48 – Jayler I woke up extremely late the very next morning and I felt overwhelmingly incredible about everything that has happened so far. I don’t feel extra heavy anymore and I have this light air around me that I seem like I’m floating in mid-air for some reason. The rain had just transformed into a rainbow overnight and I guess I’m thankful for my sister in a way for putting this thought in my head that I won’t accomplish anything if I just ignore everything and that I’m the only person who could find the solution to my own predicament. But more than that, I had to give it to myself for deciding to go see Lance last minute and to be quite honest, I wasn’t expecting anything. I wasn’t expecting that it would be solved in a snap and I even had bonus—kissing Lance. If I didn’t go out to see Lance last night, I’m most certainly sulking under the rain right now feeling rather heavy and stressed out and confused. The first thing that came to my mind was what happened last night
Chapter 49 – Jayler I was feeling this electric energy rushing through my veins and it was everything that I didn’t know I needed today. I feel like I’ve taken some ecstasy even though I haven’t really had one to know the actual feeling of it in the first place. This felt relatively new to me in ways that I thought I already know the feeling of reading a feel good message from a certain someone and it turns out that this feeling is entirely different. I stared at Lance’s message saying that he misses me for quite a longer while and a huge part of me just didn’t want to believe it was true. It seemed that I was still dreaming that it felt magically unreal. Perhaps that’s because I wasn’t expecting him to miss me so soon when we were just together yesterday. I guess it’s technically not yesterday because I got home at two a.m. after we spent almost an hour hanging out at the 7/11 store where I first met him. After drinking the bucket of beer that I ordered at Monroe’s, Lance went at th
Chapter 50 – Jayler Sneaking out tonight was most definitely the most impatient moment that I have ever been in my whole life as far as I know. I couldn’t wait to see Lance again and hang out with him. The waiting game from afternoon to dusk felt like a millennium and I was dying because of it. I was busy with my homework throughout the afternoon or at least that’s how I distracted myself from being impatient and thrilled at the very same time. But I just couldn’t focus on what I was doing because somewhere deeper in my head, something was relentlessly bringing the thought of Lance out and it was just pure madness but in a very positive way. I kept on re-opening the message that Lance had sent earlier just to remind me that I finally have found someone that gives me the feeling of happiness even without asking for anything. By the time dusk hit, we were called for dinner. Dad was out again for work again and me, my sister and my mom had a very quiet dinner altogether. At first, it fe
Chapter 51 – Lance Waking up after having that raw and intricately unprecedented conversation with Jayler was something I didn’t know I needed this entire time. I know I have been dying to have a conversation with him just to clear things up but I wasn’t under this impression that it would solve hell of a lot that’s been weighing me down. I felt utterly good in a sense that my chest doesn’t feel heavy anymore and I haven’ felt this good in a very long time—not even before I met Jayler. Last night was probably one of the rawest and I would still say one of the most vulnerable night that I’ve had with someone even though I haven’t shed a single tear, but I was just comfortable with Jayler’s company. I guess I was relatively carried away by the moment that I told bits and pieces of my childhood story to Jayler not knowing that it would give me such a soothing effect. Jayler felt easy to talk to and even when he’s not asking about my background, I felt compelled to tell him some if not al
Chapter 52 – Lance “I haven’t seen you in a long while. What’s going on, Lancelot?” Daniel’s voice seemed to drown from the loudness of the background but I still heard him very clearly. I just got home from the laundromat and it was just about time that Daniel called. “Yeah, sorry about not showing up lately. I was just busy about other stuff.” I lied. I’m not even planning on admitting the fact that I was so down and depressed for the past month to Daniel. He has been one of the most, if not the most, caring friend that I have ever met. Surely, he would give a lot of advice that would have certainly helped my situation but I was just so embarrassed and scared to open things up to him. I know that he never failed to be there for me. He’d been checking on me ever since I began skipping, asking where I was and why didn’t I show up to our regular meet up. “Other stuff? Do you mean you just don’t want to see us?” Daniel voiced out and I do think he has all the right to think like that
Chapter 53 – Lance The night was surely promising in a lot of ways not exactly for me but for Jayler and his journey. I know things are moving a lot faster than it should be but I feel like it’s just fitting that I introduce him to this world now rather than waiting just to take things at a slower pace. This is going to be his first time seeing a drag show and I just thought it’s just the perfect place for the introduction and I’m pretty certain that he’ll have a blast while still learning about the stuff that he needs to learn. I’m likely to believe that he’ll be shocked with the vibrant culture and the myriad of gay stuff that he’ll be learning tonight but he’s going to have a good time. “Here we are,” I mouthed once we got out of the taxi. “The Babylon Club.” “Okay. This is where we are meeting your friends?” He asked observing the entrance of the club. “Yes this is where all of the fun stuff happens.” I trailed reassuring him that we’ll be having some fun tonight. “Me and my fr
Chapter 54 – Lance Jayler just shook his head at the simple question that he doesn’t know what a twink is. Of course he doesn’t know that, he’s barely even out to the world and the job is to educate him with all of the things that he needs to know including defining what a twink is. Even if he ends up being straight which is still up in the air, educating him about LGBTQIA+ community is a must. He’s curios enough and there’s this famous saying that says “curiosity killed the cat” and I won’t let him be how the cat ends up. Not literally kill him but I won’t let his curiosity bring any kind of harm towards him. “You, a twink is someone like you.” Holding the glass of her newly refilled Margarita with such effortless grace, Dianna pointed towards Jayler. I looked at him and I could already tell that the wheels inside Jayler’s head are turning. “I…I’m confused.” Jayler was still shaking his head. “You see, there are different types of gays.” I began stepping into the forefront. It’s t
Chapter 55 – Lance A mix of vodka and nicotine lingered from Jayler’s mouth as he eagerly sucked my lower lip with such wetness. I was just trying to put him to bed knowing that he’s already fucked up wasted but he seemed to have gained his consciousness back once he realized we weren’t at the Babylon Club anymore. I gently kissed him back just to let him know that I’m aware of what’s currently happening but the truth was, I don’t really have the right strength to fight back and somehow, I’m thinking that I should be mindful of my actions. I’m still aware of the blatant fact that Jayler’s still a minor and even if he’s turning eighteen in the next few weeks or so, it’s really not a valid reason for me to give him everything intimately sensual that he wanted. I attempted to unfasten my lips from his. I was slowly and carefully pulling away hoping that he’d be sleepy enough to let me go but then he noticed what I was trying to move away. He grabbed the back of my head pulling me back wi
The three of them left Bradey who was enjoying the company of beautiful girls grinding with him. He surrendered to his bed and pleaded for the mercy of sleep to come and rescue him butit won't just come. He began thinking about what he said a few hours earlier, at first it sounded funny and even more insane but it could possibly be the solution to his problem. Dating a man.He was always open to the idea even before he met Samantha, but he couln't just take the risk without properly thinking about it, plus he wasn't gay at all. Day by day, he is losing every singledrop of hope he had to the point that he is starting to become desperate. The thought of getting old alone was squeezing his spinal cord; he never wanted to be left alone in this world like her mother.Richard was sitting taciturnly in front of his computer monitor, tapping away the keyboard, and while sipping some of the Matcha he bought from where he worked, he did not turned hisfocus away fro
After the kiss everything went crazily awkward yet it felt like doubled heaven. However there had been no clear apprehension of moving from sleep to consciousness or if he did ever had the chance to sleep at all. At first he was just lying around eyes wide open firmly fixed above the idle ceiling. Usually things always do sink in as swift as a blink of an eye but now it actually took about less than twenty-four hours for him just to fully process and accept everything that happened. It's sure is real and it was wild, hungry, ardent, and awfully wrong in a way yet he wanted it all.He needed every second of it.Not that he was regretting it or something but it sure opened the closet to the realization of how sexually confused he is. Jasper and Kenneth kept on asking him about when will he ask somebody out, or when will he fuck somebody and as a response he was just telling them words of wisdom. It was obviously hilarious but, even if you consider how smart he is, he jus
Kenneth's increasing excitement almost gave a successful infection to Jasper and Jayler, as soon as the lazy tattooed bouncer let them in without even having some second thoughts or even laying an eye to verify their legality, they started moving with the funky beat playing within the background. Clearly, even a nine year old kid could tell, they seem to resonate sheen light of minority within them though, in the most teenager sense of thinking, they dressed themselves plausibly in accordance and tried to be as oblivious as possible. They were successful about it, no one noticed and even if someone actually noticed they wouldn't give a damn anyway. They were just having fun and having fun means breaking rules, or at least that's how teenagers believe it to be."Oh lord I’ve got to admit I missed this damn place” Kenneth whistled.“Are you fucking kidding me Kenneth?” Jasper blurted in response while giving him a disbelieving glare.“Well, yeah I was here yesterday and the day before t
The long and tiring day finally reeled to an end, Richard arrived at his unit at exactly eleven pm with the thought of Jayler actually staying in, and as usual like yesterday and the day before that,there was no sign of Jayler to be found. He was not fine with it, he doesn't understand why or how did something like this be happening to him but he felt like just being with him soothes allthe sores of a tiring day, but he has to be fine with it, and of course realizing the mere fact that his shift ends at 10 pm, Jayler probably had gone home, he has some parents and a sister toworry for his safety. He has a family, a sweet thing that he had once. And this is Friday night, and Friday nights were supposed to be the youngest of the young nights for him, and even if heis already at the early stages of getting real old to this crappy life, he and his friends still have the finest time to seek pleasure with their party people mindset. The clamorous thought of feeling
Friday came crashing down like a tremendous blazing fireball of blessing, aside from the mere fact that Fridays were always a blessing, it was the last day of Jayler's three day suspension andafter that he can finally return back to school. He woke up very much delighted with the idea that it was all over at last, and, just like the fresh and lustrous morning light, his smile was the brightest.He took the shower with such ease and pleasure while singing some part of a certain song, humming happily into its funky and perky beats and later on doing some awkward dance moves.He arrived thirty minutes earlier today at Richard's condo unit, appearing quite youthful and reinvigorated as ever. Purely for his own amusement, in the high spirits of this stirring and exciting day,Jayler had been trying to act accordingly, keeping himself pulled together, as he found how endearing Richard could be, who based on the sole evidence of his bachelor upbringing have sethi
It was past ten before Richard arrived at Fidelitea. This was the hour when he found Fidelitea most lovable; the shop was not yet the busiest, the smell of fresh teas making its way to invadehis nostrils never failed to relieve his accumulating anxiety, and he was so eager to kick start the bright day with his indefatigable enthusiasm bolstered by the good night sleep he mustered.Though, a thousand of trembling hearts were beating restlessly in close proximity within this heaving ancient mall, and many of them, after all, would be aching in agony but his heartache wasfar worse than theirs. Considering all of the things, whether all of the good or the bad, that happened in his past, he was impotently reduced into nothing but an incapacitated marionette madeout of fragile skins and broken bones with a deplorable heart from stitches of mismatched parts from varying textiles that were scraped out from the anguishing memories of all of his past lovers.Strang
"What the fuck is that?" He mumbled quietly, precisely questioning what was that that he just felt earlier. His heart was still fluttering like a butterfly until now. The stare was still like the oddestfive seconds of his entire life, it was as though a moment from a romance series where the lead actor accidentally stared at his leading actress and the time suddenly went into a slow phaseof motion happened to him. This was, as far as he knows, the very first time that something like that happened and it was undoubtedly unexplainable that made his heart tramble, jerk and flutter.He walked out of the shower room then went to dress himself. Hardly aware that he had moved, he found himself lying motionless back in his own bed in which he had spent the latter of thecold night, slowly and lazily scrolling down onto his social media accounts. Fortunately, thanks to several groups of fandom that follows him, the girl who posted their kissing photos receivedmyri
Denny was promptly fished out from the short film of bittersweet memories that he was virtually viewing in his mind by a loud ring coming from his cellphone. He came to his sense and tardilypicked up the call. It was Bradey."Hello?""Where are you?" asked Bradey."At home, why?" His voice was soft and broken."Why you sound like that?" Bradey asked inquisitively."I'm watching Korean drama" Denny lied, he doesn't want to but it appears that Bradey doesn't remember that today is Jesse's death anniversary."Oh, I didn't know you watch those stuffs" Bradey knew that Denny hated dramas and he was baffled that Denny is watching Korean dramas."Now you know, now can you please spit the reason why you called because I'm really busy crying about this sick drama" Another lie. Denny truly hated dramas, too much that without beingaware of it, he became one."Er, I just want to ask help from you""Proceed""I'm calling here fr
Jayler decided to stay outside of the guidance counselor's office. He was quivery and unsteady; he kept on moving around, back and forth, doing random things that he thought might keephis nervousness down. Anxiety was sending several swift arrows of thoughts inside his brain. Can Richard make a good bargain with the guidance counselor? Will he be successful? Will hebe convincing enough to act as his uncle? All of it was softly and slowly killing the very most of him and the longer he waits, the more queasy he gets. Slowly, he was losing the dull light ofhope he have and was already on the verge of detaching himself from present towards the future of what will probably happen to him. Finally, the squeaking sound of an opening door awakenedand pulled him back to his sense."How did it go?" The uneasy anticipation of a good answer forced him to run instantly in front of Richard."Shush" Richard shushed him, pulling him into the farthest corner of the b