Chapter Three: Inevitable Pain

Taya gripped the steak knife's handle as the coldness of the metal fought against Taya's heated palm, while Lucas showed a confused expression.

"The beef tagliata here is so perfect. You should taste it." Lucas said as the waiter, who had been serving two plates of steak to the table, excused himself to leave.

"Of course." Almost whispering, Taya looked down at the steak on her plate. It indeed seemed delicious, but not delicious enough to grow Taya's appetite. Especially not now when she was beyond hurt, with a stomach already full—of pain.

A slice of steak was lifted up to Taya's mouth. The smell of Italian spices spoiled her nose, trailing along her nostril, but still Taya wasn't tempted to eat. Having no choice because Lucas was feeding her, she opened her mouth and caught the slice in her mouth, chewing it.

"How does that taste?" Lucas bounced his brows as he sliced the steak again, this time placing it into his own mouth.

"Not bad." Taya replied after swallowing.

Was it really bitter or it was just my taste buds? She thought.

Or was she sick? Yes, that was it. She didn't feel well mentally believing she was not good enough and should never have accepted Lucas' proposal. In reality, she shouldn't have even started dating him back in college. It all felt wrong now; much too wrong.

Lucas had brought Taya a hell she never thought existed. Chaos. Everything she saw was chaos. Blurry. But just as she was about to give up and flip the table, Lucas excused himself to take a call.

"Just a minute, baby." He scurried, almost tripping towards the lobby of the restaurant, leaving Taya all alone to herself.

"You are just a mistake in my life." Taya whispered under her breath, smacking her fist against the table, causing the plates and glasses shake slightly. Standing up abruptly, she grabbed her purse, the one she had been wanting to slap Lucas across the face with, and found her way out of the restaurant. Walking past Lucas, fully absorbed in his call, he didn't notice Taya leave. Assuming it was the girl from earlier, Taya didn’t care, having had enough of playing strong and just wanting to go home.

She knew Lucas would call her upon seeing the table abandoned, and just as she thought about it, her phone rang. It was hard, seeing Lucas' picture, with that drop dead gorgeous smile on the screen, but she immediately rejected it.

A second attempt of Lucas calling her was also rejected. This only tempted her to toss her phone out the window of the moving taxi, but she thought better and tossed it into her purse. She didn't know what she was going to do next, but she just couldn't bear the pain anymore. She needed to end this because the nearer she got to Lucas, the worse the pain felt inside her heart. It stung so bad that she couldn't find the words to explain.

Drizzle on the window, turned into rain, drenching the streets. Taya thought she would cry her heart out, but not one tear was shed, as if she had ran out. Sitting in the back seat, numb and silent, her eyes watched as the streets zoomed past.

At some point, she mindlessly pulled out her phone and called the one person she trusted.

"Hey, Ella, where are you?" Taya asked once the person on the other end picked up.

"Home, what's up?" Ella, her best friend replied.

"I-I need your advice"

"On?"

"I can't talk on the phone, can I come over?" Taya knew Ella could give her perspective and open up her mind. She just didn't know what to do. This kind of situation was just too much. If she had no one to talk to, she might have ended up seeing a psychiatrist.

She had left Lucas in the middle of the dinner, a voice in her mind telling her she had just ruined everything for leaving him like that, but another voice spoke otherwise.

"Sure." Ella simply responded, after a moment of silence and Taya felt relieved. She knew she could rely on Ella.

Asking the taxi driver to change the drop off location, Taya closed her eyes for a good 5 minutes, emptying her mind, tuning her ears to the sound of the raindrops.

The drive to Ella's house was short. Before she even realized, Taya was standing before the front door, soaked from the rain. Without hesitating she rang the bell.

Opening the door, Ella stood in a red, sleeveless midi dress, surprise seeing Taya standing there, soaked to the bone.

"Come in."

Taya had never felt more embarrassed than when she stepped inside Ella's house. She was thankful that Ella lived alone.

"Let me get you a towel and a cup of hot tea. Camomile good?" Ella reactively offered.

"Yeah." Taya nodded, smiling ever so slightly.

"If you want to use the bathroom, just make yourself at home." Ella said while leaving to the kitchen.

Taya merely stood as a statue, Lucas' voice replaying in her mind like a broken record, breaking her down further.

Ella came back to find Taya standing still, with lips trembling.

"Taya? Are you okay?" Ella put the cup of tea down on an end table, quickly striding towards her best friend and handing her a towel. "You look pale. Sit down and tell me what's wrong!" Nodding in assurance, Ella held Taya and led her towards a sofa.

"I am a fool." Taya stated. "Lucas cheated on me and I feel am nothing more than trash in his eyes. We just had a dinner and he left me to the lobby to take a call, one I am sure was from her. I couldn’t take it anymore and I just left him there. He didn't even notice me when I walked out!” Once she stopped explaining, Taya finally burst into tears, falling over to bury her face in a pillow.

"It's killing me that he’s with another girl! Why am I not enough?" Her voice was husky through the cries of despair. "Ella help me. It hurts so much." She pleaded, sitting up to look at Ella, grasping her hands. "Tell me what I should to do."

Ella sat in silence for a moment before she finally spoke. “Get up, come on! You are strong! Just tell me what all happened exactly."

Taya looked at Ella with tears running down her cheeks, certain her makeup was a mess.

"I overheard a conversation he had on the phone with a girl. He said that he didn't love me and was trying to find a way to end our engagement. He wanted to make sure he’s be seen as the victim." Taya explained through a single breath, with her eyes red and puffy from the tears.

Ella's eyes widened in shock, unable to process syllable. The brunette struggled to find her own words. All she could do in that moment was stroke the back of her friend’s hands. In an attempt to buy time, Ella reached for the tea, handing it to Taya. "Drink. It will help you to relax."

"I don't need tea, Ella. Please! I need you to tell me what I need to do." Taya refused, almost knocking the cup to the floor as she pushed the tea away.

Ella narrowed her eyes at her best friend before starting to talk. "Okay, if that’s what you want. Firstly, give him what he’s after. Tell him that you want to end this engagement because you cheated on him." Ella's features were strange, her eyes expressing emotions Taya couldn't read. "You don't want to appear weak by thinking you are not good enough, right? So, make him feel how you do. Secondly, leave him and let him be with that girl. Both of them have ruined your life, so let them be together. Lucas doesn't deserve you."

Taya shook her head, but she kept listening as Ella carried on.

"You need to start a new life, Taya. Leave the past alone. This isn’t worth your energy." Ella shifted her position to face her best friend, taking Taya's hands once again and nodding. "Everything will be alright."

"Are you sure about this?" Taya whispered weakly.

"Yes, just do exactly as I told. Tell him!" Ella's eyes shone when she ensured.