I’ve lived fifty per cent of my entire existence in the body of a human, with all of the weaknesses that come with it, but this is the first time I’ve ever felt helpless.It’s been almost a week and there has barely been any improvement in Orenda’s condition. I’d say she’s clinging to life, but that would imply she’s trying and I’m not so sure that she is. Every day I tend to her. I brush her hair, keep her company, and I try to keep her fed. Soups and broths are the only thing she can get down, but at least it’s something. She speaks the occasional word every now and then, but they take so much out of her that I encourage her not to speak and keep her strength. She’s able to communicate much better telepathically, so she mostly responds that way. While I miss hearing the sound of her voice, I’ll take any form of communication she can manage; it’s a sign she’s still with me and hasn’t given up yet.I put the empty bowl of broth down on her nightstand and gingerly dab some of the beefy
As if the growing void sucking the life from my fatigued body wasn’t bad enough, I get to add crippling guilt to my list of woes. Every day Ayawamat is at my side, tending to me and trying to uplift me. Instead of living, he’s wasting his time watching me waste away. Every second that passes, I try to fight off the emptiness. I try to cling to the broken shards of my shattered essram hoping I’m strong enough to survive this. If not for me, then for my brother. If I die…he’d be all alone. That thought pains me almost as much as the aftermath of rejection.There are moments where I feel myself being sucked into oblivion, the frigid nothingness taking hold and refusing to let go, and just I find myself surrendering to it, I feel this charge from deep within. I can’t explain it, but it's like an electric paddle to the soul. It doesn’t last, but when it strikes; for the briefest moment I feel the warrior in me resurge, her voice strong and commanding, telling me not to give up and that I c
Burning, scolding pain shooting through my ankle has my senses returning with a vengeance as a scream of agony tears its way through my throat. I gasp for air, the unexpected physical pain compounding with my mental and spiritual fatigue to create a brand new kind of torture.I try to move my arms, but something around my wrists weighs them down. As I pant, I force myself to focus past the blur of my vision, and slowly, Invidia’s familiar frame comes into view. She’s squatting in front of me, her bone-white hair tied up in a short pony, the strands too short to be contained by the hair elastic framing her face. The only thing illuminating my stoney prison are two sconces holding a single flickering candle on opposite walls. The light around me is dim at best, making Invidia’s toasted brown skin appear darker in complexion, while giving her hair a ghostly veneer.Willing myself to focus a bit more, I see her gazing at something in her hand, her expression seeming impressed. I glance at
Invidia regains my attention by clapping her hands together. I open my eyes to see her face cast upwards and a bright smile on her face. “I can’t believe I’m the first person in history to catch a raitruum!”I feel disgust rippling over my body like centipedes crawling under my skin. I would give anything to strike her down and claw her eyes out with my talons, but I’m too weak. She’s made that painfully clear. I accept that I won’t get my climactic moment where I rise like a phoenix from the ashes and make her regret having ever met me, but that doesn’t matter. I don’t need my ego inflated, I need a rescue, and I know just the person to call.I call through our link, but quickly all I sense is static on the other end. I call out again, trying to summon what I can to push through, but no matter how much I call he doesn’t hear me.On the extremely rare occasion my brother has a block up, it feels more like hitting a wall with a giant ‘do not disturb’ sign on it, but this is different.
Invidia smirks confidently. “You understand what I’m saying now, don’t you?”“That’s why you chose me,” I whisper gravely. “My human blood is a fabrication, which means I contain far more celestial blood than other supernatural beings.”“Now you’re catching on,” she grins.Invidia rises from her chair, pulls a small vile out of her back pocket and holds it up to the candlelight. Inside the vile is a silver liquid, a liquid I presume to be God’s blood, but it looks different…it’s not the vibrant silver I’ve seen the few times I’ve witnessed a God bleed. It’s darker, almost a gunmetal colour. It’s as if the mingling with human DNA, the process of abstracting it or maybe the thousands of years of being separated from the source has diluted its potency or warped it in some way.“It took me a year to syphon this much God’s blood. It is a long, tedious process made worse by the fact that I’m only able to syphon insignificant amounts from my subjects. But I’m patient, and with enough time an
The sound of movement around me stirs me awake. My eyes slowly flutter open, my mind groggy and my body aching beyond belief as the burning pain in my ankle brings the reality of my predicament crashing down around me. I slowly look up to see Invidia standing over me, a satisfied look on her face.“I’m pleased to see you ate all of your food. The last thing I want is to have to force-feed you,” she lilts with faux concern.I say nothing. I just stare at her, my face no doubt reflecting my exhaustion but in truth all I feel towards her in this moment is apathy. I had expended so much energy communicating with her before because it was necessary; she had answers I needed. It was an unpleasant means to an end, but now? Now I need to save every last morsel of energy I can, if I am to get myself out of here.Invidia’s eyes narrow infinitesimally. “What? No begging? No pleading for me to set you free and do the right thing?” she queries, her tone filled with mockery.I am an immortal, mille
I’m pulled from my dark reverie as a groan of pain passes my lips when I feel an ache in my cheeks as my head is yanked downward. I lock with obsidian oculi with a golden core as Invidia’s fingers dig overly aggressively into my cheeks, her face a strange mix of relieved and haunted as she squats before me.“I understand,” she murmurs unusually sympathetically. “I know what rejection can do to people. Despite what she liked to claim, I know my mother’s strength was never the same after she killed her animai. She killed the man she was bonded to without thinking once about the ramifications. She was so fucking cocky,” she scoffs in irritation, “And so obsessed with her plans for power and domination that she actually believed she was above the consequences that come with rejecting the magic of a God,” she shakes her head in ridicule. “But you see, I’ve learned so much from every mistake she ever made. I won’t let anything derail my objectives, which is why I had to make slight amendmen
For the first time in a week, I laugh. I let out a bitter – though still amused – laugh as she speaks about avoiding rejecting my brother. I don’t know where this burst of energy is coming from, but I’m welcoming it gladly.Invidia pushes off the wall, glaring down at me in annoyance, “What the hell is so funny?”I look up at her, a bitter, mocking smile tugging at my lips. “You even thinking you have a say in the rejection of my brother is laughable.”She fists her hands at her sides as they are ignited by glowing indigo energy. “You think I couldn’t reject him if I want to?” she bites back acerbically.My mocking smile only continues to grow, and I find myself eager to bask in the aftermath of shattering any little fantasies she may have had of being bonded with Ayawamat.“You seem under the very erroneous belief that my brother would ever give you the time of day,” I gladly taunt, leaning back against the stone wall, the uneven edges suddenly feeling unusually soothing as I watch In
Something forceful shakes my body, pulling me from my slumber and sending shockwaves of pain through every nerve in my body.“You are not ruining everything I have worked so hard on,” I hear Invidia’s voice angrily hiss close to my ear.I struggle to open my eyes, only managing to catch glimpses of her through blurry slits. I see the dreaded syringe in her hand and begin to scream internally, pleading with my body to do something, anything. My vision repeatedly fades between darkness and Invidia’s small frame hovering over me as I struggle to keep my eyes open even a fraction. I can feel the life leaving my body bit by bit like water going down a drain. I want to scream, I want to cry, but I don’t even have the energy to produce tears anymore.The despair strangles me like a noose around my neck as I watch Invidia lift my shirt, ready to jam another needle inside me. Her eyes turn obsidian, her golden pupils glinting at me with disgust when suddenly a soft lilac-blue stone hanging aro
“Wh…what do you mean you can’t grant me a wish?!” Ayawamat stammers in confusion.Tituba sighs sympathetically. “Don’t you remember? You accidentally triggered a wish two centuries ago and I had no choice but to grant it.”Ayawamat’s face scrunches up as he thinks hard, followed by a look of realisation that confirms Tituba’s words to be the truth.“Fuck!” he shouts, clutching his head. “You’re right. I remember Orenda and I came to spend time with you; we were drinking, and I stupidly tripped and fell right into you,” he sighs lamentably.She nods solemnly. “I’m sorry, Aya. I really do want to help you, but you know I can only grant one wish per person,” she gently clarifies.“Then grant me the wish,” I instruct, walking over to them.Their heads snap to me as they both look taken aback.“I’ve never granted the wish of a God before…” she muses warily. “But if it will help find Orenda, I am more than willing to try,” she declares confidently, extending her hand to me.As I reach for he
With Ayawamat at my side, we appear on a cliffside high atop a mountain, standing at the entrance of some cave. The cliffside has a scenic view of the surrounding forest; a sea of lush colour that stretches on for miles until it reaches the ocean on the horizon.Orenda would love this view.I’m startled by the sudden thought that infiltrated my mind. Why did I just think that? How the fuck would I know what Orenda loves? I don’t know her any more than I know myself, and I’ve come to realise I am still a stranger to myself. I shake away the unruly thought and focus back on the cave, becoming aware of the magic exuding from within.“How exactly can this cave help find your sister?” I question sceptically.Ayawamat rolls his eyes and steps inside. I heave a sigh and follow in behind him. He raises his hand in the air and summons an electric charge to his hand, using its energy as a light source to guide his path.“This cave is home to a visum named Tituba. She has lived here in isolation
“You know, over these past weeks I decided to do a little extra research into your species,” she discloses like a teacher addressing a class as she slowly starts to pace in front of the bed, making me uneasy. “I knew you wouldn’t willingly answer my questions, so I went back to my old method of scouring magical libraries around the world only to realise I’d already exhausted that avenue the first time I started researching you,” she says with a dramatised sigh.She pauses, waiting for me to prompt her to continue with her monologue but I remain silent. I’m painfully accustomed to this performance by now and still refuse to feed into her need for an audience, though it’s obvious where the need stems from.She huffs with irritation at being denied her spotlight, but continues, turning to face me. “I was racking my brain when suddenly an idea hit me!” she exclaims. “I needed to expand my research parameters, after all, humans have tons and tons of lore on supernatural beings all over the
“Spare me the virtuous bullshit,” she rasps. “You think you have me all figured out, but you don’t have a fucking clue,” she ridicules.I force myself to sit up, pushing through the overwhelming ache in my body. “Then explain it to me,” I insist lethargically. “Because from my side of things, I see a promising young woman so hell-bent on accumulating power that she’d sacrifice her future and soul without a second thought.”“This isn’t about power!” she snaps in reproach. “Power is…it’s nothing!” she continues with contemptible disinterest. “This is about respect. This is about reclaiming everything that I was denied!” she declares forcefully, her eyes wild with determination. “That heartless bitch treated me like some dirty little secret, using me and my powers to make herself stronger, all while making sure no one ever knew I existed,” she reveals scornfully. “Oh, she wanted me to believe that it was for my own protection, claiming people would try to hurt me if they knew I existed,”
As I slowly wake up I am met with an unbearable soreness emanating from every part of my body. Within seconds I am pleading with my brain to let me go back to sleep so I might resume being blissfully ignorant of my suffering. I shift slightly, grimacing when the soreness intensifies only to then groan in pain when I feel the profound throbbing and swelling spreading throughout my right cheek.“About time you woke up,” grouses a voice I detest.I reluctantly open my eyes and see a distressingly familiar wooden vaulted ceiling. A glance at my surroundings confirms that I am back in the bedroom that doubles as my prison cell, with my warden sitting on a chair at the foot of the bed. Invidia's eyes are obsessively fixed on me as a glower fills her features. She’s leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, her muscles rigid with tension and her hands clasped tight in front of her. Her white hair is pushed back with a headband, allowing me to see the beads of sweat gathering on her brow.
“You said everyone believes the eyti surges were a trap to lure in you and your sister and that whoever was behind them has and is cloaking Orenda,” I repeat for clarification, trying to stay focused.He nods, looking intently at me. “That’s the current theory, but it hasn’t helped us figure out who it could be.”“I think you’re all right. I think this is related to the false surges and I believe I’ve come across the person behind them,” I announce.“What? When? Who?” he sputters with rapid fire.“I don’t know who, but I’m sure Orenda told you of the conversation we had on the matter,” I suggest gently.His brows knit together so tightly they almost become one as he thinks hard. “She did tell me how she told you we believed a makkari was behind everything and you confirmed that was true. That you had figured it out and just didn’t bother to say anything,” he recalls resentfully.The list of all the ways this is my fault is becoming exceedingly long. Not only is it my fault Orenda was
I stare at him in disbelief, the chasm of despair that formed inside me the moment I accepted Orenda’s rejection widening painfully in response to his words. Abducted? All this time Orenda has been held captive, left all alone while…“So why the fuck did you come here, Azadou?” he questions angrily, his voice congested as he fights back tears. “Why after all this time did you finally decide my sister was worth doing right by? If that’s even how you feel at all,” he adds cynically.I wade through the emotions that are drowning me from the inside, as I see the turmoil oozing from Ayawamat’s pores. His pain is so intense that I can barely detect the stench of malice. I have been suffering because I pushed Orenda away. I did this to myself and deserve every drop of pain that comes from it, but Orenda doesn’t deserve to suffer, and neither does her brother. I’m understanding this is what sympathy and compassion feel like. I know I have to tell him why I came here, but the compassion I now
I scrub my face and run my fingers through my hair, taking in a lungful of air as I stand up. I push down the pain and the fear and transport myself to Orenda’s home. I appear in Orenda’s room, expecting to see but all I see is an unmade bed. I take in a deep breath, seeking to inhale her scent and reprint its fading memory on my mind, but as I do a frown sets on my face. While I can detect traces of it lingering all over the room, giving me a relieving sense of comfort I haven’t felt in ages, I am confused by how weak it is. The scent is so faded it’s as though she hasn’t stepped foot in this room in weeks.Feeling perplexed and uneasy, I open the door and step into the hallway. Having only ever been in her bedroom, I wander the house in search of her. I’m detecting numerous scents, her brother’s being the most prominent, but not Orenda’s. I don’t hear her or smell her at all. As I look around the open layout of the ground floor, not finding any trace of her, I feel my heart deflate