“Azadou, it doesn’t have to be like this.”I clutch the tumbler in my hand, reducing the glass to powder in my palm as I attempt to dispel those words from my mind. Everything about that creature has been a plague on my senses, yet it's those words above all that cling to my thoughts like gum stuck under one’s shoe. Is it the words themselves, or the pleading tone her voice took when she uttered them? As each syllable echoes through my ears, I recall the look in her prismatic eyes as she spoke them. In their colourful depths, I saw hatred. It’s a look I’ve grown accustomed to seeing in the faces of those who gaze upon me and one I have come to expect. Until this morning, she had never looked at me that way.I sought to break her, to make her beg me for rejection, but never once did the thought cross her mind, not even as hate swam in her eyes did it occur to her. There was something else in her eyes; an unfamiliar emotion I could not place and though I cannot name it, the thought of i
I rise to my feet, my nostrils flaring as I hold my arms out, reading myself to try again. With lightning speed, Jartre is in front of me, his hands fisting my shirt as his eyes glow silver and bright, his jaw etched in tension.“Dammit, Azadou, stop this! It doesn’t matter what you do or what you throw at me, I am not going to fight you!” he bellows in frustration.“Afraid you’ll go too far and kill us both?” I taunt with a cold smirk.Jartre’s mouth curls in disgust as he throws me to the side, dropping me on my ass like an annoying bug.“When are you going to get it? If the only thing that came from our deaths was you finally finding peace, I would grant it to you in a heartbeat, but this isn’t about you or me. I’m not choosing not to hurt you because I’m scared for you or myself, I’m choosing not to hurt you because I refuse to cause Orenda any harm, especially the kind that could cost her her life!” he shouts, his words coated in turmoil.I sit up, resting my arms on my knees as
“Are you okay? You’ve barely even touched your ramen,” Ayawamat points out with a concerned lilt to his voice.I shrug, absentmindedly pushing the ingredients around with my chopsticks. “I guess I’m not that hungry.”Ayawamat slides the bowl away from me and takes my hands in his, turning me gently on my stool to face him. I manage to look at him, but the worry and compassion etched deep into his face has my heart clenching painfully in my chest and tears burning behind my eyes.“Did Azadou say or do something? I’m not judging, I swear. I just know that he was here and now…Orenda, I’ve never seen you like this and it’s honestly scaring the fuck out of me,” he explains, his voice cracking from his concern.That did it.I squeeze his hands tight as the tears break through and fall from my eyes. I throw my arms around his broad shoulders and bury my face in his neck as sobs wrack my body and I struggle to breathe air into my lungs. I thought all the crying I did in the shower was enough,
As if the universe is trying to emphasise Ayawamat’s words, a burst of pressure hits me in the torso, knocking the wind from my lungs and making me clutch the kitchen counter to keep myself in place.“Orenda?” Ayawamat frets, grasping my shoulders, his brows raised with worry.I blink in confusion, placing my hand over my chest as I collect my bearings, trying to figure out what the hell I just felt when I suddenly feel deep and overwhelming rage rising up like a violent tempest inside me.“Azadou…” I whisper.“Now what’s the fucker done?” Ayawamat seethes through gritted teeth.“I don’t know,” I murmur in confusion as I stand up. “Something is wrong…I can feel so much rage,” I quaver, rubbing my chest as if to soothe the emotions intensifying from within me despite our bond not being completed.“Isn’t that him on a normal day?” Ayawamat quips mildly.I shake my head in disagreement, “Not like this. I have to find him,” I declare, marching towards the front door.“Orenda, wait!” Ayawa
At my words, his mask slips and instead of indifference I now see rage and hatred as clear on his face as it is through our bond.“You blame me for the chaos in the world, but chaos reigned long before me and will continue to exist long after me. Chaos is the very nature of humanity. I didn’t create it, I’m merely pulling back the curtain on it,” he declares, stretching his arms out wide, grandstanding at the terror around him.Tears of anger well in my eyes as disgust burns in my stomach. “From the moment you came into this world, malice has filled your every being and here you are spreading it like a virus and boasting about it as if it were a badge of honour to be worn proudly,” I condemn sorrowfully.In an instant, Azadou is towering over me, his eyes ablaze with fury. “I DIDN’T ASK TO BE CREATED! I was born of your creator’s darkness and hatred because he was too weak and cowardly to face it. You look at me with disgust for being what I was made to be by the very God you call Fat
I was wrong.I’ve always said that to encounter the eyti is to experience true purgatory, but I was wrong. I now realise that the eyti are more than just shadows of the humans they once were. They are not the epitome of purgatory; they are merely shadows of it. I believed the haunting, empty coldness they leave in their wake was the worst kind of emptiness a person could feel, but as I lay here on the jagged rocks – my essram shattered into infinite pieces as my body barely clings to life – I realise that this is true emptiness.Pain and exhaustion circulate through my body on an unrelenting loop, my eyes too tired to remain open. The devastating feelings of despair and loneliness are so consuming they have erased every happy memory from my mind. I can’t even remember the sensation of happiness, to the point that as I lay here, feeling the life draining from me, I begin to question if it ever existed, or if I imagined it.As the darkness begins to take over, a sudden jolt of electrici
“Is she…” I trail off, my voice trembling as I fear his answer.“She’s alive. For now,” he answers gravely, freeing my heart from the dread that was strangling it.Jartre sniffs the air, his nostrils flaring and his silver eyes narrowing. In a second, all of Orenda’s bedding is replaced, and her dress is replaced by cosy sleepwear as she’s bundled up under a thick blanket that Jartre tenderly tucks around her. I walk over, my eyes burning from unshed tears as I carefully sit on the edge of the bed. I reach out and softly caress the top of her head, my heart lodging itself in my throat as I feel how cold she is to the touch.“What’s wrong with her?” I ask, my voice a strangled mix of anger and sorrow.Jartre stands up straight, looking down at Orenda with a guilty expression. “She rejected him.”My eyes widen in disbelief. I know I’d made those stupid remarks about rejection, but I never meant them. I know the ramifications of rejection. I only said those stupid things out of frustrati
A thunderous, harrowing roar bursts from my lungs as I throw my right hand out like the strike of a hammer, an intense bolt of purple lightning discharging from my hand and striking through the interior of my home, obliterating everything in its path. I stare at the resulting destruction, my chest heaving and sweat forming on my skin as I remain unburdened from the cataclysmic agony tearing its way through me. I pant, my lungs feeling constricted as if air cannot reach them as a current of purple electricity moves across my flesh. With a strained roar, I throw out my left hand, hurling another bolt of purple lightning through my interior, watching it obliterate everything it touches, but still, I feel no better.Feeling drained, I collapse against the banister, the flimsy material breaking under my weight and making me fall to the floor. I move onto all fours, my fingers tearing through the floorboards like butter as the wood triturates in my palms as I clench my fists. Every cell in
Something forceful shakes my body, pulling me from my slumber and sending shockwaves of pain through every nerve in my body.“You are not ruining everything I have worked so hard on,” I hear Invidia’s voice angrily hiss close to my ear.I struggle to open my eyes, only managing to catch glimpses of her through blurry slits. I see the dreaded syringe in her hand and begin to scream internally, pleading with my body to do something, anything. My vision repeatedly fades between darkness and Invidia’s small frame hovering over me as I struggle to keep my eyes open even a fraction. I can feel the life leaving my body bit by bit like water going down a drain. I want to scream, I want to cry, but I don’t even have the energy to produce tears anymore.The despair strangles me like a noose around my neck as I watch Invidia lift my shirt, ready to jam another needle inside me. Her eyes turn obsidian, her golden pupils glinting at me with disgust when suddenly a soft lilac-blue stone hanging aro
“Wh…what do you mean you can’t grant me a wish?!” Ayawamat stammers in confusion.Tituba sighs sympathetically. “Don’t you remember? You accidentally triggered a wish two centuries ago and I had no choice but to grant it.”Ayawamat’s face scrunches up as he thinks hard, followed by a look of realisation that confirms Tituba’s words to be the truth.“Fuck!” he shouts, clutching his head. “You’re right. I remember Orenda and I came to spend time with you; we were drinking, and I stupidly tripped and fell right into you,” he sighs lamentably.She nods solemnly. “I’m sorry, Aya. I really do want to help you, but you know I can only grant one wish per person,” she gently clarifies.“Then grant me the wish,” I instruct, walking over to them.Their heads snap to me as they both look taken aback.“I’ve never granted the wish of a God before…” she muses warily. “But if it will help find Orenda, I am more than willing to try,” she declares confidently, extending her hand to me.As I reach for he
With Ayawamat at my side, we appear on a cliffside high atop a mountain, standing at the entrance of some cave. The cliffside has a scenic view of the surrounding forest; a sea of lush colour that stretches on for miles until it reaches the ocean on the horizon.Orenda would love this view.I’m startled by the sudden thought that infiltrated my mind. Why did I just think that? How the fuck would I know what Orenda loves? I don’t know her any more than I know myself, and I’ve come to realise I am still a stranger to myself. I shake away the unruly thought and focus back on the cave, becoming aware of the magic exuding from within.“How exactly can this cave help find your sister?” I question sceptically.Ayawamat rolls his eyes and steps inside. I heave a sigh and follow in behind him. He raises his hand in the air and summons an electric charge to his hand, using its energy as a light source to guide his path.“This cave is home to a visum named Tituba. She has lived here in isolation
“You know, over these past weeks I decided to do a little extra research into your species,” she discloses like a teacher addressing a class as she slowly starts to pace in front of the bed, making me uneasy. “I knew you wouldn’t willingly answer my questions, so I went back to my old method of scouring magical libraries around the world only to realise I’d already exhausted that avenue the first time I started researching you,” she says with a dramatised sigh.She pauses, waiting for me to prompt her to continue with her monologue but I remain silent. I’m painfully accustomed to this performance by now and still refuse to feed into her need for an audience, though it’s obvious where the need stems from.She huffs with irritation at being denied her spotlight, but continues, turning to face me. “I was racking my brain when suddenly an idea hit me!” she exclaims. “I needed to expand my research parameters, after all, humans have tons and tons of lore on supernatural beings all over the
“Spare me the virtuous bullshit,” she rasps. “You think you have me all figured out, but you don’t have a fucking clue,” she ridicules.I force myself to sit up, pushing through the overwhelming ache in my body. “Then explain it to me,” I insist lethargically. “Because from my side of things, I see a promising young woman so hell-bent on accumulating power that she’d sacrifice her future and soul without a second thought.”“This isn’t about power!” she snaps in reproach. “Power is…it’s nothing!” she continues with contemptible disinterest. “This is about respect. This is about reclaiming everything that I was denied!” she declares forcefully, her eyes wild with determination. “That heartless bitch treated me like some dirty little secret, using me and my powers to make herself stronger, all while making sure no one ever knew I existed,” she reveals scornfully. “Oh, she wanted me to believe that it was for my own protection, claiming people would try to hurt me if they knew I existed,”
As I slowly wake up I am met with an unbearable soreness emanating from every part of my body. Within seconds I am pleading with my brain to let me go back to sleep so I might resume being blissfully ignorant of my suffering. I shift slightly, grimacing when the soreness intensifies only to then groan in pain when I feel the profound throbbing and swelling spreading throughout my right cheek.“About time you woke up,” grouses a voice I detest.I reluctantly open my eyes and see a distressingly familiar wooden vaulted ceiling. A glance at my surroundings confirms that I am back in the bedroom that doubles as my prison cell, with my warden sitting on a chair at the foot of the bed. Invidia's eyes are obsessively fixed on me as a glower fills her features. She’s leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, her muscles rigid with tension and her hands clasped tight in front of her. Her white hair is pushed back with a headband, allowing me to see the beads of sweat gathering on her brow.
“You said everyone believes the eyti surges were a trap to lure in you and your sister and that whoever was behind them has and is cloaking Orenda,” I repeat for clarification, trying to stay focused.He nods, looking intently at me. “That’s the current theory, but it hasn’t helped us figure out who it could be.”“I think you’re all right. I think this is related to the false surges and I believe I’ve come across the person behind them,” I announce.“What? When? Who?” he sputters with rapid fire.“I don’t know who, but I’m sure Orenda told you of the conversation we had on the matter,” I suggest gently.His brows knit together so tightly they almost become one as he thinks hard. “She did tell me how she told you we believed a makkari was behind everything and you confirmed that was true. That you had figured it out and just didn’t bother to say anything,” he recalls resentfully.The list of all the ways this is my fault is becoming exceedingly long. Not only is it my fault Orenda was
I stare at him in disbelief, the chasm of despair that formed inside me the moment I accepted Orenda’s rejection widening painfully in response to his words. Abducted? All this time Orenda has been held captive, left all alone while…“So why the fuck did you come here, Azadou?” he questions angrily, his voice congested as he fights back tears. “Why after all this time did you finally decide my sister was worth doing right by? If that’s even how you feel at all,” he adds cynically.I wade through the emotions that are drowning me from the inside, as I see the turmoil oozing from Ayawamat’s pores. His pain is so intense that I can barely detect the stench of malice. I have been suffering because I pushed Orenda away. I did this to myself and deserve every drop of pain that comes from it, but Orenda doesn’t deserve to suffer, and neither does her brother. I’m understanding this is what sympathy and compassion feel like. I know I have to tell him why I came here, but the compassion I now
I scrub my face and run my fingers through my hair, taking in a lungful of air as I stand up. I push down the pain and the fear and transport myself to Orenda’s home. I appear in Orenda’s room, expecting to see but all I see is an unmade bed. I take in a deep breath, seeking to inhale her scent and reprint its fading memory on my mind, but as I do a frown sets on my face. While I can detect traces of it lingering all over the room, giving me a relieving sense of comfort I haven’t felt in ages, I am confused by how weak it is. The scent is so faded it’s as though she hasn’t stepped foot in this room in weeks.Feeling perplexed and uneasy, I open the door and step into the hallway. Having only ever been in her bedroom, I wander the house in search of her. I’m detecting numerous scents, her brother’s being the most prominent, but not Orenda’s. I don’t hear her or smell her at all. As I look around the open layout of the ground floor, not finding any trace of her, I feel my heart deflate