Finally, I made it home. I told Lourdes what time I would arrive, and she told me dinner was ready and waiting for me in the dining room as Juan parked the car. As he came to a stop in the driveway, I remembered I had company. The whole flight the only thing on my mind was Vedova. Why was she playing on my mind when I had Adrianna waiting for me? I hated the way Vedova had treated me, like a little boy on the playground who needed direction from her to know how to play. No, I didn't need direction from anyone, especially the likes of her. "Jefe, you want me to stick around?""No, go home. Get some rest."He smiled. “Sure thing."That kind of surprised me, Juan seemed a little disappointed when I told him we were leaving, yet he was quite happy once we did arrive back. As I opened the car door he asked, "Jefe, como estas?" I didn't answer him as I sat up and stepped out of the car. I needed to have a shot of something and go to bed; no more did I feel the need to eat. We didn’t use t
I was tired, wet and cold. I didn't know what the time was, or even the day. With what little strength I had in me, I ripped my dress, so the part below my knee was covering my bare shoulders as I laid on the stone ground. The only light in this cave, was when Ricardo was here; as soon as he’d left, I'd had all of five seconds to take in my surroundings to know everywhere was brick, including the floor. It was cold and damp, and there was a bucket at the side of the wall. One I assumed was for me to urinate or even shit in. I wanted to so badly, so the next time Ricardo came in here, I would throw it at him. How dare he?I crashed into his fucking car, and he treats me like this!He might as well have killed me, it would have been better than this, anything would have been. I was dying to pee, so I crawled because I couldn't walk. Nearly every part of my body was hurting me. I had been drinking so much wine out of nerves before he arrived, that I had been slightly light-headed when h
I watched as she stripped and changed in front of Diego. I could have set her free, seeing as she'd realized the error of her ways, and let her go to her room. The one she was given on the first day she stayed here—but I had no intention of letting her go back to the room as it was. I made Lourdes strip the handmade Turkish rug, the queen-sized bed, all clothes, toiletries, and furniture from the room. She would only have wooden floors and a small single bed. Nothing more. She'd have to wear the same thing every day: black leggings and a matching shirt. No television. No access to Wi-Fi. Nothing. She would feel like a prisoner, until the day came when she would be allowed to go out, and she would obey knowing if she rebelled then her fate would be one of two options: death or the dungeon. She would welcome both with open arms. After her twenty-three days were up, then she could go on with her life, pretending she had never met me, or that I'd done nothing but treat her well. If all w
I'd slept ever since Diego left the bread and water for me. Whenever I woke up, I forced myself to drift off to sleep again. The idea of having nothing to do and being watched all the time made me think of unpleasant memories. Such as Dad leaving, or the way my sisters behaved after the funeral. Or rather, Alice not coming, and Rebecca pretending I didn't exist."You didn't eat or drink anything after I left?" a male voice said.I was feeling disoriented and for some reason, it took a while for me to realize Diego was talking to me, not Mom. For some reason, I was caught between my reality and my subconscious. He'd either come to change the bucket I hadn't used, or he'd come to get me out of here. It was then I smelled it and realized I hadn't used the bucket because I'd pissed myself. I was sitting in my own urine, and it didn't bother me. "Adrianna, don't try to move. I'll lift you up." I didn't argue as he gently held me and I wrapped my arms around him. It was as if I couldn't f
My phone chimed as I sat down to lunch; I hadn’t seen Adrianna since I spent last night in the guest bedroom. Diego had done a disappearing act, too. I seemed to have alienated everyone and anyone since Pa died. Need more time. VThis meant she didn’t want Adrianna yet, I’d planned to give her to Vendova in two days. She wanted more time; I had no choice but to make it up to Adrianna and see if I could undo the cruel treatment I’d given to her. “You sent for me,” Adrianna pouted as she came into the sun lounge. I enjoyed my time in this room, especially when the weather was sunny like today. It hadn’t happened often lately. Winter had come early this year. Not that I was a fan of Autumn, but the grey clouds seemed to stay in the sky a lot longer than they usually did this time of year. She was wearing the black leggings and polo I’d left in the closet. I should have replaced them with the clothes I’d originally bought for her, but then I remembered what Diego said to me, about me g
I hated being disturbed, especially first thing in the morning, but my phone was ringing like crazy and I knew whoever it was, wasn’t going to wait. I was about to pick it up, when I heard a thumping on my door. “Mierda!” I shouted out as both Juan and Diego appeared in my room, uninvited, Diego switching on the light without warning. “You need to get dressed and get downstairs quickly. The gang’s waiting for you!” Diego commanded, as if this was his house and he was running things. I knew something was bad, and he meant by everyone’s presence, this was an intervention. It happened from time-to-time when a boss went off the rails. Everyone kicked in. The truth be known, I wasn’t sleeping, I was lying in bed but mainly because I didn’t want to get up and face the world or even worse deal with Adrianna, my sweet temptation. Before I could even respond or say anything, as quickly as Diego had entered the room, he left again. “Sorry, jefe, it’s bad.” Juan followed Diego. I found myse
I decided I’d had enough and would look for him. Find out where he was and ask if I could go and see Jen for the day. I hadn’t spoken to her lately and I was feeling guilty about it. She’d tried to be in touch, but I’d spent most of the day eating, reading with Ricardo, and the rest of the time fantasizing about him. He knew I had no money, yet he’d given me a choice. I reflected back to dinner nearly a week ago and decided maybe there was a way to get to him. Part of me felt sorry for him. His dad was dead and maybe he was the only one he could relate to, and now he was alone trying to figure out his place in life. I didn’t even know how old he was, or anything about him apart from him being part of the mafia.I wandered around the house like Alice wandering in Wonderland, wondering where he was or what he was doing. I must admit for a mafia king, I didn’t think he would be inside this much. I thought he would be out and about like he’d done the first moment I came to live here. “He
I was so fucking embarrassed about what happened at the pond. Lourdes told me Adrianna left last night and Ferd had taken her. She was back and getting ready to join me at breakfast. I didn’t think she would come back; I wouldn’t if I was her. If she knew what I was capable of, then she would stay hidden. “Oh, you’re here,” I said as I entered the kitchen. I tried to hide the relief she had come back, but I was sure she saw it written all over my face. She smiled. “I have a bad hangover and I need much TLC, aka coffee.” I wondered for a split second if her reference to a hangover was a punt at me, but then I saw the way she was filling her coffee and with her sunglasses neatly covering her eyes, I realized I was being paranoid. “Good night?” I could do this. A light-hearted conversation could lead to us connecting and talking like normal people. This was how it worked. I’d never needed to do it but felt the urge to do it right now. “Yeah, girls catching up and my friend is gettin
AdriannaWe have been living as a family in Alaska since the day I came to the cabin. I couldn’t deny this was my reason for coming here, to be with the man I loved, the father of my child. The man was a monster, but now had provided us with a loving home in the woods. We built a house from scratch. Who would have thought this small town girl, turned city girl would love living in the wilderness. It was as if I’d found my inner peace by living here. Ricardo cut contact with Juan while wishing him well. It was time to say goodbye to his old life and focus on his new one. I did take a little money out of the pot, not only to build the house but to work on my online business. I promised one day I would give it all to charity, in the meantime, while my PA business takes off, I’m still trying to get it off the ground, but it’s a little difficult with one kid and another on its way. “You shouldn’t be lifting,” Ricardo said as I brought in some logs from outside and attempted to build a f
I didn’t know how long she’d driven or if she was still lived in Chicago. I should have asked her something. Anything, but I couldn’t take my eyes of this beautiful creature in front of me, our son. He was so innocent, and as I drew closer, I could smell him. The smell of a newborn was supposed to be a touch of heaven. I hated the idea of admitting that until now, I hadn’t been near a newborn child. No one had ever asked if I wanted to hold one, and quite frankly until now I’d never had the urge to do it. Adrianna looked good, fantastic, considering she’d had a baby; I could see motherhood had made a change in her. The fact she’d come here, the clothes she was wearing, a white and brown matching Gucci suit, could have been brand new. Either way, she looked good, with new short boob hair. I loved her hair, but she’d cut it. Her choice and it made her look older, but then it could have been the time we’d spent apart and the fact she was now a mother.“You can hold him if you like?” Sh
I didn’t know if this was a good idea, I’d only given birth over a month ago and here I was traveling with a newborn and coming to see the one man I had planned to stay away from as far as possible. He was a monster, I kept telling myself, but then it was clear I was kidding myself.I loved him. Even more when I saw our son’s hazel eyes and knew he was a replica of his father. The man I loved and pushed away. I had to, not only for his sanity, but mine too. I heard the engine outside and I knew it was him, the man I’d been trying to avoid, but couldn’t stay away from. I held our baby close to me, as the door swung open. His landlady said he’d been here for four months. She wanted us to wait in her cabin, but I told her Lucas wouldn’t mind us waiting in his, she assumed it was a surprise and smiled as I told her the assumption was correct. Maybe this was a mistake. The car pulled up outside, but Ricardo hadn’t entered the cabin. Maybe, he’d run, scared about coming inside. I looked
It’d been four months, two weeks and five days since I had last seen Ricardo. Luckily, with Jen’s wedding on the way, I didn’t have the time to think about the next steps. His house was on the market, his penthouse, and pretty much all his goods, with from the sale going to charity. The house was bought by some rich merchant bankers; the penthouse was taking a little while to shift. I must admit, it was taking a lot longer than I’d expected. I did keep an eye on it. Then again, I kept an eye on a lot of things ever since the day he left me in the library. Why didn’t he chase after me?“If you’re going to come and be part of my wedding with a long face, then you might as well go home. I don’t want miserable people at my wedding,” Jen said as she lifted her glass and had obviously drunk a little bit too much champagne. “I need to get you down the aisle or Ben will kill me.”She laughed. “I’ll kill you if you don’t smile.”Maybe I’d spent too much time, with Ricardo, but whenever some
It’d been a week since I left home. I knew I shouldn’t have left Adrianna. I should have told her something, anything, including letting her know it had nothing to do with finding out about the baby. I had so much shit making me feel as if I was going crazy running through my mind. I’d suppressed the memory of killing Pa, and I needed to get it all out. I needed to relive the nightmare of the night, to know step-by-step what happened, and to know I was the one who was capable of committing it. I’d suppressed my memory so much so, I’d gone on a wild goose chase. I’d let Juan think I’d gone completely insane by trying to find Pa’s killer, when all along it was me. Adrianna was in the library when I came home, all curled up on a chair reading, and I didn’t hesitate in telling her what was going on in my head. I knew there was no way I could ever forgive myself, but I had to know if she could do it, or rather if she would?“I’m a fucking monster,” I repeated, over and over again. Adrian
He left me standing there like a jilted bride after I told him I was expecting his child. To make matters worse, I haven’t seen him in three days. Three long days he disappeared, and he’d left his phone on the floor. It was as if he didn’t want to be found, and I didn’t know enough about Ricardo to know where he might have gone.Jen had been texting to say she wanted to know what happened when I told Ricardo about our baby, and I lied to her again. Again. I said I hadn’t told him yet. I decided the only way to figure out what happened was to have Juan and Diego over. Ricardo could be gone for good, or maybe injured somewhere. I figured I’d call them over, have them in the living room, on the sofa and just get to the point.“Can someone please tell me what happened to Ricardo three days ago?”Both Juan and Diego looked at each other. They didn’t say a word. I knew they were hiding something, but the question was, what was it?“Joder! Tell me, what was so bad Ricardo missed the rest of
I didn’t know what to do with myself, it was one of those days when I felt nervous about everything. I was late. Not one or two days late, but nearly two weeks. I needed to get to the pharmacy to take a test. The funeral was tomorrow and I couldn’t do it then, but then I felt guilty about leaving Ricardo. He would want to know where I was going, so the best thing I could do was make up some emergency and tell him I was going to visit Jen. I was on my way to see her, but not to do whatever lie I would make-up in the meantime. “You didn’t sleep all night, you kept tossing and turning,” Ricardo said as I slipped out of bed. I thought he was sleeping.“I’m anxious about tomorrow. I’ve only been to one funeral in my life, my mom’s. I suppose I was feeling your sadness and memories of that day flashed through my mind.”He sighed. “Sorry, you don’t have to come.”I kissed him on the lips, and then stroked his face. I didn’t want him to blame himself for my restless sleep. It was my stupidi
I was drunk, tired and passed out on the sofa by the time I looked up and realized it was daytime. Fuck, how long had I been like this? I looked at my phone only to notice a whole day had passed. I couldn’t believe a day had passed and I’d done nothing.I got up and headed to my room. I hadn’t done something like this in a few weeks, I’d stopped the moment I got up close and personal with Adrianna. As I walked up the stairs, waited at the top. “Buenas, como está tu marido?” “Bien señora, Adrianna is in the garden.”I could tell by the disappointed look on her face she’d caught me in the library one too many times. She probably thought I was up to no good, once again. “I cleaned the glass in the library,” she said as she passed me walking down the stairs. I stopped and then I continued walking, feeling embarrassed not only had she seen me in such a state, but she’d seen the results too many times, I was hoping to be better. How the fuck could she respect me, when I was struggling to
I tried to catch-up with Juan, but he was out of the door, by the time I got there. All I saw were Diego’s jeep wheels speeding away, as I watched the back of his car. Ferd, Ricardo’s other driver, was an ex-SEAL and in his mid-fifties. He was a loyal driver among other things, or so Ricardo told me. He was waiting for me outside and stood patiently as I watched Diego’s car, wondering whether to tell him to follow Diego or to go and meet Jen. I decided as much as I was caught up in this whole gangster life, I was kidding myself. I didn’t know how these things worked, aside from this whole loyalty thing all of them working together and acting like one big family. I was an outsider. They wouldn’t tell me what was really going on. In time they would; patience was a virtue and I had to exercise it. It felt like forever since I had sat down with Jen and we chilled, and besides when you’re with one of the big men in town, getting a seat at Prime and Provisions was a lot easier than I ever