Chapter 4

ANDREA

CAN'T YOU JUST STOP?!

I yelled inside my head hoping that I would stop getting these stupid thoughts but it won't stop. I kept thinking about that guy even when I am not supposed to. Like how am I going to get this excuse of a person out of my life? He is making living hard enough for me and against everything I stand for.

I walked out of the lecture room as soon as the lectures were over. I don't want to end up going crazy. I decided to take a cold shower at home to calm myself down. Why would I even be thinking of this? I met Kelsey on her way to another lecture. I don't think I would be attending another lecture today. I don't want to embarrass myself.

"Oh hey Drea… where have you been?" She asked me.

I crinkle my face, "In class? Why?"

"Right. Silly me, I'm just asking. By the way, you look so pale, are you okay?" She asked again.

I nodded, "I don't feel too well. I think I'm going to skip lectures today and resume tomorrow. I'll be going home first."

She touched my forehead, her face showed she was worried.

"Your head does seem warm. You can take a rest sweetie. I'll get some food on my way back, I'll come early. Just take care of yourself."

It's good to know she cares about me, but it's extra cringe.

"That's cringe," I said, getting the shivers.

She laughed, "You seem to be fine then. We have a lot to discuss, I'll be back soon. Bye roomie!"

We live in the same apartment but not the same room. I guess I can't call her apartment mate, gosh I'm so stupid. I can't believe I am having this conversation with myself right now.

Good enough for me, I left college without any hassle. I quickly made my way home and called to get sick leave from my part-time work. Then I went straight into the shower while trying to forget the unfortunate incident and rest at the same time. I forgot one and remembered one.

As the cold showers hit my skin, I couldn't help but recall what happened between us before. To be exact, I was craving for him. I just made a mistake and I am now craving for him. I can't understand myself anymore. I know it's hard to control my sexual urges, but I do that well enough. I touch myself if it becomes unbearable though.

I am not a fan of one-night stands. I guess I can't stop because I saw him doing it with someone else. I suddenly stopped the shower and came out of it.

I need to snap out of this! What exactly am I doing right now? Thinking about stuff like this when I have a whole long academic and work year ahead of me? This needs to stop immediately! I was just unlucky, it won't happen again. Forget him!

I lay on my bed with my towel staring at the ceiling till I finally fell asleep. I only woke up when I heard Kelsey calling my name. I opened my eyes and realized that it was already evening. Wow, I didn't know I slept for this long. I guess I needed to rest a lot today.

"Can you tell me what's going on with you? You've been asleep since I came back and you won't stop murmuring things." Kelsey asked as I joined her to eat dinner.

"Well… I was just tired. I told you before, why do you sound like I'm doing something else?" I replied.

She arched a brow in inquiry, "Maybe you tell me. You were sleeping in your towel, were you that tired? You didn't even go to work."

I sighed in frustration. Sometimes I wonder why she doesn't just become a police officer with all her questions. Is it because she's studying law too?

"You should just join the police force. You'll do great interrogating criminals." I said sarcastically.

"Come on Drea, I feel like you want to tell me something that's bothering you," she asked me.

I mean I can't lie to her for that long because she already knows about what happened to me before. I told her about how I met the same guy I had a one-night stand with and how I am going to avoid him because he is such a jerk and a filter womanizer. I don't know how I got involved with him in the first place I feel so stupid knowing I let myself be swayed away by my emotions and got too drunk to the extent of doing something like that with someone I don't even know.

"Wow, roommate! You've got a lot on your plate, so what are you going to do now? You can't keep avoiding him, one way or the other you might run into each other. What if you both are studying the same course? What are you going to do about that? Will you start school because of him?"

I sighed, "I'm so confused I don't know what to do or what to say but one thing is for sure I am going to avoid that guy I don't think we would ever meet again. I'm not that friendly with everyone to the extent that we will be introduced to each other."

"Well good luck on keeping that up dear. I don't know for how long you know I am always right. You guys are going to meet again. You can ignore him if he doesn't recognize you but if he does you can make a deal with him or pretend you don't know him."

Pretending I don't know will be a better option and that is what I will do. I didn't tell her what happened at school though. She is quick-witted and she will figure out why I came home because sometimes she knows me better than myself. I ate dinner and went straight to bed. I did not want to study or do anything. I feel like another good night's sleep will make me forget about everything.

I took some sleeping pills too fast for the process of me falling asleep and it worked well for me. I didn't think much about it, thankfully I can move on from now on.

THE NEXT DAY

I am loving this morning already. I made sure I got up early and dressed up for school. This time around I will be serious with my life. I checked the lecture I had this morning and prepared all my books for it. I decided to wait at the library until the lectures started. I thought the library would be quiet today until I saw what I was supposed to see. I thought this was the end of our meeting but I was wrong. Here comes again with another girl who I don't recognise and he is hugging her intimately.

What's even worse is that there are four bodyguards behind him this time around and everyone is moving away from him. Who exactly is he? Is he some sort of mafia lord or something? The girl was smiling like an idiot, probably feeling like a queen. Because whoever her boyfriend is, he is making everybody move away from her.

I feel bad for her because she doesn't know what he's going to do with her. He's just going to make use of her and dump her just like he did with me and the other girl. But I guess girls like her out too stupid to understand that. She only believes what she is seeing, which is that she is probably in the heat of the moment.

I decided to ignore them and make sure he did not see me since he probably did not recognise me the last time he might recognise me again. Suddenly, I saw some shadows looming over me. I looked up to see them all standing in front of me. What does he want now? Does he finally recognise me? Should I be happy or sad that he's probably going to tell everybody here about me what should I do now?

"What are you doing, get up immediately! We would like to sit there! Are you that dumb?" The girl shouted at me.

I just wanted to avoid them at all costs so I pretended to obey them and I got up. Besides, I can't fight all of them if they decide to attack me at once. This is not high school. No lecturer will probably stop them and he seems like someone important which I don't care about. I don't want to get into trouble for now.

"Stop right there." I heard him order, making me stop.

I stopped and turned around. I guess I can't really leave this anymore so I better deal with this with myself. He should stop bothering me.

"Yes? Can I help you?" I asked, making everyone gasp. Why? Did I do something wrong?