My appetite had vanished, but I still pushed myself to eat and tried to take my meds regularly. I didn't want to die right now only because my life was in pieces. This was exactly the kind of drama and fights I didn't want in my life at this stage. I wanted peace.But who's fault was it? Mine.My mum and dad knew something was wrong since I was cooped up in my room all day. My dad had showed up in my room, worry gathered between his eyebrows as I simply shook my head and told him I was feeling tired. I had a bit of fever which came and went like my mood swings on periods. But overall, my health was normal.I needed to tell someone about all that had happened- with Logan, with Jamal. I wanted to hear meaningless 'It's going to be okay' and repeated assurances that I was a good human. I wanted to talk to someone, but I didn't know who.In my head, I was still talking to the dead-Liz, can you hear me? If so, I'm terribly missing you. I wish you hadn't died that day, I wish you had lived
Third Person's POV [Logan's POV]Logan got up groggily, an acidic taste lingering in his mouth. His brain felt like it was going to burst into million tiny pieces and his body ached from sleeping in an awkward position the entire night. Why did he drink alcohol anyway? The last thing he wanted was to turn to that poisonous liquid whenever he was in crisis.He stumbled towards the bathroom. Where was he? Never mind. The only thing he wanted was water against his skin. He leaned forward the small sink and twisted the tap handle several times until the water dribbled thinly. He repeatedly washed his face and mouth, the muddled questions in his head increasing with each passing second.He swung open the bathroom door and stepped outside. In the darkness, his feet hit several objects as he cursed under his breath, making his way back to the couch. He found his phone and was blinded by the sudden light when he switched it on. He narrowed his eyes at the screen.What the hell was he doing in
I stared at my wardrobe, gritting my teeth in frustration since I found nothing suitable to wear. Each outfit suddenly reminded me of Logan- the pink dress when we sneaked out of a wedding, the yellow dress when he chased me among the sunflowers and the casual baggy t-shirts of the countless lazy hours we spent at the flower shop or skipping stones in the ocean. Eventually, I chose a plain black tank top, light blue denim jacket and dark jeans which I hadn't wore since a year or something.Kinda cool- Check.Teenage party appropriate- Check.No memories of former friend- Check.I was ready to go with some strawberry lip gloss, blush (lots and lots of it rubbed on my greying cheeks) and mascara. I felt sorry for myself as I stared at my reflection. I had lost over seven kilos this summer and I was preparing myself mentally for more drastic and faster changes these coming weeks.I went downstairs to find mum stuffing things in her handbag, stretching the leather material to it's full ex
Third person's POV [Logan's POV]Logan thought he saw Joy for a moment and he half stood up, narrowing his eyes at the waiter beside the pillar. She had been right there. Her wisps of feathery short blonde hair and her thin shape- he had seen it all hurrying outside."Everything okay man?" Jack peered at him curiously.He tore his eyes away from that spot where Joy had been just a minute ago. "I thought I saw someone.""We all keep seeing things. Once at the supermarket, I followed my mama but by the exit, I realized she wasn't my mama but a fat lady in a red coat," Dev narrated and chuckled at his own joke. Nobody laughed. So he added quickly and foolishly, "My mama was wearing a red coat.""We get that dipstick." Jack slapped Dev's head who winced. "Sit down Logan. We know you aren't full of shit to see things, but this pinhead might be right yeah.""Asshole."Jack ignored Dev. "Sit down, you probably mistook someone for someone else." Logan still stood there, conflicted. Jack pulle
Gemma, my mum and I had gone out to the mall for shopping and lunch. We spent the morning buying different clothes and cute shoes and designer handbags until all of us were exhausted. In the morning, there wasn't any crowd so Gemma wasn't uncomfortable and I got enough space to breathe, relax and move at my own pace. My abdomen hurt less and fever came and went less frequently than before.We didn't go to the food court because of the greasy food and instead sat at a fancy restaurant so I could get equally fancy looking healthy salads. All three of us were tickled pink, feeling overly satisfied with a perfect shopping spree and a perfect meal. It had been long since we three had spent such an exuberant day together without quarelling and just us- mum and her daughters. I had stuck to Gemma all day, making up for all those times when I had deserted her."Why did you buy so much yellow?" I heard Gemma ask from behind. We were on our way home now, mum driving the car, I seated beside her
Logan was rigid in my arms and slowly his muscles eased, I could feel it, as he murmured in a daze, "Is it really you Joy?""Yes you goofball." I grinned as he pulled me away, his hands clutching my arm to have a good look at me. His eyes bore into me, searching for the honesty, the promise and the love. I nodded faintly, confirming the words he needed to hear, "I'm in love with you Logan, I really am."And that was when his face split into the widest grin with all teeth and dimples showing, lifted me off the ground almost effortlessly and did a little twirl.My eyes were locked into his sparkling ones as everything became hazy around us and I giggled. "Put me down Logan before I faint."He did put me down, but he held me close to him, his arms circled around my waist. "Do you really love me Joy?""I love you more than what my poor heart can handle." I cupped his cheeks, stood on my toes and placed a light kiss between his brows. "I love the way all your worry and care for me can be s
Third Person's POV [Logan's POV]"Logan you have shown a remarkable improvement this summer," his counselor, David praised as he flipped through his reports. "How are you feeling?""I'm good." Logan fought the urge to smile as he thought about how the summer had changed him. "I'm feeling hopeful.""That's great, is there any particular reason for it?""I reconnected with my old friends and made some new friends too. You remember the girl I told you about." Logan gazed at David expectantly and the older man smiled."Yes I remember her. What was her name again-ah, Joy Jones." He adjusted his glasses and looked up from the papers. "How are things going on with you two?""We're dating," Logan blurted out purposely to analyse his counselor's reaction. However, David's face was passive. "We don't have much time though. She has cancer, I had told you earlier and . . . " Logan tugged at his sleeves as David simply observed him. "I wanted to know if-if we're making a mistake."The counselor wa
"Hey Logan, hey Gem!" I jogged towards the ocean as Logan waved at me and Gemma craned her neck upwards. I was breathing heavily as I stood inches away from Logan and whispered, "I'm here.""Are you okay Joy?" Logan's eyebrows furrowed, his eyes searching. "Do you want anything?""What happened JJ?" Gemma asked curiously.I brushed them off, "It's nothing really, I'm fine. I walked from my home to the flower shop, but grandpa said you were here so I came here. It was just a long walk and I quite enjoyed it. I want to be on my feet as much as I can."Logan nodded slightly, but Gemma asked again, "Why is that?""I told you earlier Gem, I won't be able to walk soon," I said gently and noticing that she was going to ask more questions, I added quickly, "Maa was looking for you, why didn't you tell here you were here?""I told her, I told maa," she said indignantly. "I never leave home without telling her.""Yes I know, I'm sorry. Maa must have forgotten---""Baby, come here!" I was cut of
Third Person's POV [Logan's POV]"What the hell do you mean you have a baby? Shaun, what on earth are you blabbering about?" Joy's mum was yelling on the phone as Logan stood outside at the door. "Who's Marilyn? What do you mean you have a baby? Don't cut the call- damn him!" she cursed and looked wearily at Logan. "He cut the call! He's been talking nonsense about a baby and this-this girl Marilyn- If he's implying what I'm thinking . . . Logan dear . . . I think I'm going to faint . . . "She did pass out then and there and Logan quickly held her before she fell face down.He half dragged her inside and laid her down on the couch. Gemma who was eating by the dining table hastily rushed to him for assistance. She asked nervously, "Did she die?""No, no, Jesus no," Logan muttered, reaching for a glass of water from the coffee table. "She heard some shocking news from your brother.""Yes, Shaun told me he became a father. I can presume why that is shocking, but considering the time he
Third Person's POV :Jamal slipped into Joy's signed Katy Perry sweater, wore bunny flip flops and ignoring his stepmother's incessant pestering to eat his lunch, he headed to his mother's dingy apartment. There he found her sprawled haphazardly outside the door in the empty corridor, wasted. It was one in the afternoon and he wasn't surprised to find her knocked out. He fished for the duplicate keys from his pocket and opened the door. He picked her squirming body up with difficulty and carried her inside."Antonne you asshole . . . Fucking that white ass girl would get you nowhere . . . I curse you and that-that bitch---""Mamma, I'm your son, Jamal," he said in a clear voice, placing her on the unmade bed. "And it's over now. He's married to her, you can't do anything.""Fuck you! I can! You know nothing about what lies underneath this . . . " she slurred and Jamal tiredly averted his eyes at the ceiling when she unabashedly pulled her dress up. "Look here Antonne, look what your b
Shaun's POV :It had been five months since Joy passed away and here I was, back in the city of lights, Paris. It was late in the night, but the people were acting wild in the pub like the night had just begun. I didn't even know why I was here instead of editing some clips in my small hotel room. All I could think of was . . . Why exactly was I here? What was my purpose? I should have been with Joy all those weeks I came here . . . I should have stayed at home. I should have fought for Marilyn. I shouldn't have let two strong women slip from my life just like that.From across the room I saw Alice who was seated on the couch, one of my many friends I had made here. Without thinking twice, I glided to her with a cheeky grin and ruffled her platinum blonde hair from behind. She glanced up at me confused and then bit back her smile. Feigning irritation, she exclaimed, "Hey, ne touche pas mes cheveux!"'Hey, don't touch my hair! Keep your greasy fingers away!' Joy would say the same and
Marilyn's story began on this muddy land where twenty three years earlier, her single mother- Emilia gave birth to her in presence of a midwife and no family. Emilia's partner had disappeared as soon as he learned she was pregnant. But Emilia's spirit never broke, she raised her baby with all the love she had never got.Marilyn remembered her childhood days as fun and carefree where she got everything she desired with either tantrums or buttering her hardworking mother. She wasn't allowed to do any chores so she could play and study with her friends. Not a day went by without her belly filled with food and her body in the most comfortable, warm clothes.Emilia with her meagre salary as a waitress could afford only sufficient food, but still she bought her daughter all the toys and pretty dresses she had never got as a child. She only wanted her daughter to grow like all the other kids. Her life's purpose was to keep her daughter happy, to keep the only person who loved her close to he
Third Person's POV [Logan's POV]Four days after Christmas, Logan was trying to sleep in the sleeping area, but his eyes remained wide open. He tossed and turned on the bed, his thoughts drifting to Joy. He hadn't slept a wink in the last three days and had stayed next to Joy, talking to her until her mum asked him to rest. Logan curled himself in a small ball, forcefully squeezing his eyes shut.Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.Dream. Dream. Dream.Suddenly, he heard unsteady footsteps approaching him and he held his breath."L-Logan . . . J-Joy," Shaun said forcefully, barely spilling the words out.He immediately shot up from the bed and stared aghast at Shaun who nodded mutely, his eyes red-rimmed.Logan didn't recall the next few moments vividly- he had followed Shaun to Joy's room and his arms and legs felt like they weren't his. They felt oddly heavy as if he was dragging himself to face the inevitable. They quietly entered the room where Joy's mum held Joy's bluish hand and talked softly
Third Person's POV [Logan's POV]Logan adjusted his costume, took a deep breath and barged in through the door. "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!"A deafening silence followed and in his head crickets chirped at a distance. Everyone in the room- Joy's mum, dad, Shaun, Gemma and grandpa's eyes darted from him to Joy bemusedly. Logan awkwardly tugged at his fluffy, red sleeves, wanting for the floor to open and swallow him whole.Finally, Joy's mother cut through the silence, "Oh my God, it's Santa!"Everyone broke into a wild cheer, grabbing Logan and patting him on the back. Logan's cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he shyly glanced at Joy. She was wide awake, laid on bed with blankets draped over her and an impish smile slowly formed on her dry lips.When he had walked in this place, the nurse Jasmine had winked at him. Joy had made it.Logan shuffled closer to her when she beckoned him towards her. He leaned down and she rasped, "You're the skinniest Santa with the biggest heart I have
Shaun's POV :I was delaying to go back to France. Joy wanted me to go, but how could I leave her? She was so frail like a china doll and all I wanted to do was snatch her pain away, bundle her up in the thickest blankets and take her safely home."Gem, maa will come to pick you up before bedtime," I said softly, concentrating my attention on her after taking a glimpse of my watch. "Grab your things, we don't want to create a mess in this place."Gemma nodded vaguely, her gaze travelling the liquid trickling in the tube next to the urine catheter."Can I stay please?" she asked suddenly in a pleading tone."Yeah . . . Okay. Maa will understand, I'll tell her," I said gently, not wanting to say no to Gemma. She had already suffered through many mental breakdowns this month and it hurt me to see my other sister go through so much misery. It hurt me to be rendered useless, not knowing how to help them.She murmured, her voice sounding lost, "Thank you."I didn't say anything, only reache
Third Person's POV [Logan's POV]Logan met Gizmo on the way to the hospice care centre, bought him snacks and petted him for a while. Then he strode to meet Joy- at the hospice care centre. She had been in there for many days now and Logan didn't know what to feel anymore. The dread and impending, heart-wrenching end was close. Too close, he forgot how to breathe sometimes.He greeted the nurse politely at the lobby area and knocked on Joy's room. Joy said, without looking, "Come in Logan.""You have superpowers wow," Logan jested, advancing towards her. She was seated on the plush sofa by the window with her long skirt tucked under her legs, gazing at the harsh ocean. He kissed the top of her head and inhaled deeply, her hair smelled of herbal shampoo. "You look nice today."Gemma who was seated beside Joy stood up abruptly. "I'm going to the library to bring your books."Joy clicked her tongue. "You can stay here Gem, it's only Logan.""No, I'll go." Her eyes darted between Logan a
Third Person's POV [Logan's POV]Logan was discharged from the hospital and although the doctors advised him to rest, he barely could afford to do that. He had to make frequent trips from college (to catch up on notes), his job, police station for enquiries and Joy's house where he finally felt like home. At the station, the cops were searching for the criminals based on Logan's descriptions about them.Logan wanted them to be punished, but he didn't care any longer. He knew karma wouldn't let them get away or his cruel uncle. He also knew that because of the police investigation, his uncle wouldn't dare to touch him for some months now. Besides, he felt invincible, like no force on earth could even blow a strand of his hair. The power in him was more spiritual than physical and all the events leading him to the brink of death taught him that stressing out caused him to only die a little bit everyday.For the first time in his life, he truly believed that he was strong.Logan ate the