CHAPTER THREE.

NICOLE.

Men.

They were the worst kind of animals and my husband happened to be a monster. The kind that’s supposed to be caged with a warning written in bold letters.

Do you think it is strange that I was only filled with disgust right now?

The hurt I felt long forgotten as I stared at the man standing in front of me. I felt like a thousand spiders were crawling around my body, their fangs kissing me.

“Marcus” Even rolling his name around my mouth tasted like a bile of vomit. “Have some respect for God at least if you have no human decency.”

He stared back at me like I had two heads. The shock of my reaction to his words?

I should be throwing up, crying and screaming but that would be a waste for a man like Marcus.

He had no feelings and I was done doing so too, he didn’t deserve an ounce of my emotions.

Raising my hand, I began clapping, “Congratulations on your wedding” turning to the seated people, I ordered, “Clap, clap, they deserve a round of applause”

“What are you doing?” Brittney asked, looking around in alarm.

Was this not the reaction she wanted?

“I will be sending the divorce papers back to you soon”

I rearranged my dress and finger combed my hair, placing my bag on my shoulder.

The dumbfounded look on their faces was enough to make me straighten my back and walk towards the door.

Pausing by the door, I turned back, “I hope I never have to see you around Marcus or the world will know how much of a bastard Marcus Anderson truly is”

I walked out and my new found confidence disintegrated to nothing. I found myself taking in multiple deep breaths to calm my racing heart.

I stood by my car and picked up a paper on the windshield to notice I was fined for wrong parking..

The devil was really on a toll today.

Getting in, I rested my head on the steering wheel and started counting. Anything to occupy my mind cause it felt like there was a toothbrush scrubbing my brain of what was left of my sanity.

The knock on my window startled me and I looked up at the window noticing it was the woman I had sat beside in the church.

Rolling down my window, I gazed at her waiting for her to speak.

“Hello dear,” she offered me a smile. “I am so glad I was able to meet up with you.”

“Is there anything you want to say?” I couldn’t find it in me to care about my tone.

“Not really. I just wanted to know if you’d like to join our widow committee for widowed women”

“What?” I stared at her in stupefaction.

She didn’t actually say that to me.

Seeing how she looked seriously at me waiting for my response, I threw my head back and broke out in a full blown laughter.

“I am not widowed,“ I said in a mix of laughter.

“I know dear, but you might as well be”

Shaking my head and rolling up my widow, I blurted “No, thank you”

My car cranked as I turned the key in the ignition and I pulled back and out of the church of my nightmare.

I was never going to look at a church the same after this.

I stepped into the house that once belonged to me and Marcus. Our once matrimonial home and now the house felt emptier than ever and the feeling jeered at me.

The silence was suffocating.

I stood just by the entrance as the weight of everything that happened today weighed down at me.

I rubbed my temple trying to push the memory away but they kept on coming. The feelings–everything came back in a rush.

I dragged my feet along the floor, the floorboard creaking with every drag of my leg. I moved to the table seated in the middle of the sitting room, picking up the black file.

How did I miss this?

I looked down at the divorce papers, my vision blurring as the dam broke loose and the tears finally came down.

My hand shook as I tried to tame the feeling once more but I just couldn’t.

The files slipped from my hands and the papers scattered across the floor like the broken pieces of my life.

I sank to the couch as sob wrecked my body at the thought of their betrayal.

I didn’t deserve this.

No one deserved feeling this way.

My chest ached and my head felt heavy but I sat still staring at the remaining part of my life scattered around, after this there was nothing more.

My stomach churned at the mental image of having nothing. I had built my life around Marcus, everything I did had revolved around him and this marriage that was about to end my life.

I couldn’t move on from this even if I pretended I could.

I thought we were going to be forever, our marriage was supposed to be a lifetime! But within a minute it was all over. My heart shattered into millions of pieces–not just like that but by his hands, the man who had claimed to love me. He had shattered it without an ounce of hesitation.

A wave hit me and I ran to the bathroom barely making it in time to empty the coffee I had for breakfast. My body trembled as I knelt on the cold floor and shook trying to get a hold of my breath.

It must be the symptom of the pregnancy.

A baby Marcus wanted me to get rid of and the heaviness of my situation pressed down on me.

How was I to raise this kid alone?

I felt like a stranger to this world and the world I once knew no longer existed.

I stood with unsteady legs and dizziness striked at me like a baseball bat.

I needed to eat something, anything to settle my stomach and give me a semblance of control.

I managed to make some eggs, but the smell turned my stomach. I forced myself to take a bite, chewing slowly as I leaned forward on the counter.

The silence was unbearable and I wished someone was here to tell me everything would be fine.

I reached out for my phone and decided to call my mum. Anything to stop this feeling guning at my insides–just something to hold on to.

I dialed her number and she picked up at the first ring.

“Nicole?” She called out and the sound of her voice was enough to break the resolve I had managed to put together.

“Mum” I cried “My life is in the shambles”

“What? Nicole, are you alright?”

I started crying uncontrollably, another round of tears and a banging head. My body shook and my eggs became long forgotten.

“Nicole, are you alone? You are making me worried. Hand the phone over to Marcus” She said, the worry very evident in her voice.

How could I bring myself to tell her about what happened?

Taking in a deep breath, I tried to speak again but a sharp pain shot through my abdomen.

I gasped, clutching my stomach as the pain intensified. My vision blurred and I stumbled, collapsing to the floor with my phone still held in my hand.

“Hello? Nicole? Hello?”

“Mum,” I groaned.“My baby”

“What baby?”

The sound of my mum’s voice faded to a white noise and the world around me began fading, the edges of my vision darkening.

I struggled to stay conscious but the pain felt overwhelming. Slowly darkness welcomed me home and the last thing on my mind was a prayer of safety for my baby to a God that has forsaken me.