Chapter 5. JAXON

I could feel it all. I could feel everything rushing inwards like a heavy weight against my chest.

MATE.

My mate, how could this be? Inconvenient. I hoped to God I was wrong about this feeling placing back my hand against her fur. My body felt like it was a burning yet uncannily cool.

Dammit.

Damn it all to hell.

My last hopes of having Moi was slashed to pieces with her presence. My fists folded tightly as I glared at her. I shouldn't hate her, yet I can't help my sense of anger. I wouldn't have minded had she not turn up. I was in not in the proper state of mind to be a worthy mate. My life was falling apart as is, now this.

Selene sure had a fudging humor.

"Hey, you can't touch my dog like that man!" Brett snaps, pulling me back from her.

"It's not a damn dog, you dim wit." I retort, blood boiling as my protective instincts kicked in. "It's a wolf. Don't tell me you're too blind to see the difference?"

"Wolf?!" Collin shrieks.

"Shut the fudge up, Collin!" Brett barks. "That's no damn wolf."

I raise a 'how can you be this stupid' eyebrow at him, while Brett points a finger in my direction.

"What, you're some kind of animal expert now?" He then snickers. "I know a dog when I see one."

"Yeah right." I grumbled beneath my breath, staring at her.

Her breaths were ragged, a slight tremble to her frame. Someone must have wrecked her real badly.

"Got something you wanna say, Harolds?"

"No." Only to think better of it. "Let me have her."

"Hell no!" Brett shrieks as if I've asked to take his mother's prized pearl.

"It's not like you can take care of her!" I barked back.

"So you can? I've taken we'll enough care of her as it is."

He puffs his meager chest, feeling proud of himself. I could chuckle at the fake Alpha attitude, like a peacock displaying it's colored tails for attention.

"Yeah, and you just said she won't let you check her injuries." I point out.

"Dude, hate to break it to you but he's right."

"Shut up, Collin." Brett stares at the ailing animal, before stepping away folding his arm. "Do whatever you want.

It's not like I give a shit."

A wave of a hand behind him before he leaves us be. That dumbass.

I've done all I can to make the injures stranger comfortable. Well as comfortable as one could be in her state. Herfur is mottled with dries blood and I'm sure she might have a few broken ribs as well. My only question though was how the hell Brett managed to lumber around with her in this state, or any at all. There's no way that bastard could haul her over the place. She might have helped him out a little. Especially seeing she was willing to place herself on harms way.

It's the stupidiest thing she could ever done. Unless...

Unless the danger she faced was much worse than humans finding out her secret.

No, I'm not just being negative. You can never be too careful about running into Hunters. That said, it's still a stupid idea to have exposed herself like this. What if I hadn't come along? How was she planning on escaping his grasp? What, shift before the human?!

I glare at her, listening to her mournful whines before sighing. I couldn't do this on my own. I needed help. I can't call Rider, f**k no. Nor Halie.

Ugh, I groaned.

I grabbed my phone, hitting the one number that's always on speed dial.

"Hey big guy, what's up?" Moi answers cheerfully as if just days ago she hadn't missed death by the breath of a hair.

She doesn't know that idiot, my brain reminds me.

Oh right.

"I need your help?," I tell her plainly, skipping the pleasantries.

"Well good day to you too, Jax." She responds. "I'm fine thanks for asking."

I could face palm myself for her sarcasm.

"I'm serious, Moi. This is serious."

"So am I," She shot back.

"Yeah, I guess you miss bickering with Halie, but this really isn't the time."

"Fine," She relents. "What do you want?"

"Your help, now down at my cabin. And bring medical supplies."

"What?" She shrieks. "Why the hell do you need medical supplies? What the hell did you do?"

"I'll meet you at the bus stop."

"Jax!"

I hung up before she could scream further into my ear. I stuck my hands in my pockets and exit through the back, the way I always walk. What I'm doing is messed up. It's messed up asking Moi to treat my mate, knowing in her eyes, when she finally figures it out, she'll flee. I know she will.

I would.

I want to right now.

I'm supposed to love her, but all I feel is a sense of hollowness and dread. She doesn't deserve to be resented but I'm empty, reserving every bit of me for another woman. I don't feel anything remotely to the way everyone always speaks about finding their mates. There are no sparks, just a vibrating bond that reminds me that we're both doomed. I don't love this strange wolf, I won't ever love her, at least not in the way I've grown to adore Moi.

I pace around the night lamp as if chasing my tail, waiting for Moi's arrival. I pause, just as a greyish white bus stops, the door opening and she bounds down the steps rushing towards me. I can't help crushing Ammoy against my chest, the beats of my heart increasing with every inhale of her scent.

Lavender.

They hypocrite in me doesn't want to let her go. I don't want to shatter the bubble we have, the safety. Yet I'm

only being selfish.

Moi is alive. I didn't kill her in my crazy haze after all. Her soft blue hair mottles against my hand as I lift her head to meet mine.

"Hi?" She smiles so innocently and the urge to kiss her becomes overwhelming.

I give into my yearning, rotating us so her back rests against the lamp. Moi tastes of oranges and Kiwi, a strange combination that only she would think of coming up with, at such odd hours of the night.

"Alright, alright," She twists from me, searching me eagerly. "What have you done?"

I smirk, moving to whisper in her ear. "I know we've been adventurous but this is rather quite exhibiting don't you think?"

Moi stomps on my feet and I flinch at the fire in her eyes. Women and their fragile emotions.

I step aside tentatively, hoping to at least delay the catrosphe that was descending. I scratch my head, sporting what should look like the stupidest smile in the world.

"Well what is it, Jax?" Moi snaps. "If you wanted to get into my panties-"

"It's not me," I cut her off rolling my eyes before she gives my nether parts an idea I wouldn't be able to contain.

How can I cure an ailing woman with a damn boner?

"Okay, who is it then?" She glances around us attempting to probably find someone lingering near by.

"Let's go," I grab her hand leading her back down the road and towards the track.

"Jax, you can't just do this. Tell me what's going on!" Moi yaps.

I can't say it out aloud. I don't want to ruin the small repose I have from reality that will end soon, when my cabin comes into view.

Should I tell her?

Should I tell her I need her help to keep my mate alive?

Should I tell her that I didn't want this, that I want her instead?

Will it even make a difference? We are from two different worlds a voice says darkly to me. What type of life would I have to offer her? I'm a monster, a disgraced Alpha and now a rogue.

I throw the door open, stepping aside so the little human could walk in first. Moi's eyes does a quick sweep of the interior, the first time ever being invited here. Moi then goes rigid before bolting to the center of the room.

"Oh my.... Mother of hell!" She shrieks. "Is that what I think it is?" She drops herself to the ground gazing with concern at the animal lying on the rug. "It's a werewolf isnt it?"

"Well it's not a fudging dog, Moi."

"Don't get snippy with me!" She shot back searching her for injury. "Well don't just stand there, what the hell is wrong?"

"I don't know."

"What?" Moi glares in my direction, now folding her hands. "Then how do you expect me to care for it? "

"It's a her and I don't know. Figure it out."

"I'm not a nurse you idiot. How am I supposed to do that? That's not my field of study. I'm doing psychology."

"Why the hell would you study that instead of medicine?" I argued. "Complete waste of time."

"Oh I don't know, maybe because I'm arguing with a werewolf and that's a warranted cause to need therapy." Moi smartasses me.

She continues to mumble beneath her breath, searching through her bag before turning it over and spilling it's contents. There were bandages, a stethoscope and a bottle of pills. Moi severely undermine the reality of this situation.

I move around to the broken wolf's side, pulling her upwards and unto her back to expose her belly.

Mother of the moon!

Ammoy gasps in horror, seeing how torn up her stomach is and the weeping welts along her paws.

"Where the hell did you rescue her from, hanging?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I wasn't the one who found her."

"I can't help her." Moi turns to me shaking her head, running her hand through my mate's fur. "I can't."

"Moi, no. You have to do something," I request desperately.

"What?" She snaps. "What am I supposed to do exactly? She requires help I cannot give and her temperature tells she's got a deep rooted infection. I can't help her."

I walk away pacing around the room.

"She can't die. I can't let her die."

"Jax..."

"She can't die, Moi. I can't let her die. Whatever it is that you need I'll get it but... I can't, you can't allow her to die."

Cold sweat washes me, my skin feeling as if I'm burning from inside out.

"Jax...."

I walk around feeling as if I'm about to loose my mind.

Moments ago I wouldn't have minded never meeting her at all, now, now there's enough emotions swirling around inside me to leave me reeling. It isn't love, I'm certain but not because I don't want to claim her means I want her dead.

Selene had a f**king humor to do this right now. What life can I afford this woman and Moi? I had absolutely nothing, no pack, no honor, I'm a walking dead. Moi is the only reason I've managed to hold unto sanity this long and this woman has no ties to me besides the fact that she's my mate. A situation that's more out of obligation at this point than a joyous celebration.

I grit my teeth, seeing how pale Moi's expression is. She knows how grave this situation is and both of us are sitting in limbo.I wish I could let her in on my inner turmoil. I can't however, not right now. I decide then, I can't accept a new mate. I won't reject her, I won't put her through that pain, but I'll give her the option of walking away. But I can't sit idly by and let her die.

Conclusion is, I don't want to loose either of them. This stranger or Ammoy.