Devil may Suffer but never Cry

  I was in a quit peculiar place, in my birth suit, inside my corps, I can feel my body is etching me like it is I’m wearing just some clothes, under me endless bright water, sometimes it become shinier through it calm waves.

When I looked  down , my reflex filled my vision, it’s the good old me but more paler with hallow eyes and rotten skin, if I got emotions, I would scream my ass out, and die from being frightened in the second time by those what under the water, snakes  without skin, only flesh and bones, I can see their blood flow in their meridian.

 I can hear their heartbeat quite well, what is this place, why am I here, can I get out, am I going to be empoisoned here forever with the snakes bellow me, and water that shine in this endless darkness above me.

 would I die while drowning or get get eaten first until death? A lot of thoughts come pouring in my head like a fload, while walking endlessly in this weird place, or world, I meet in my way only silence and the calming scenery of water with some perpetration from the endless skinless snakes below me, and like that I become the anomality of some sort.

Like an idea that starts with an illusion, when somebody yawn beside you, you will feel the urge to yawn like him, or even just yawn, this urge will spread to anyone witness this act.

This illusion is contagious because it affects the environment that surround it, this simple act of yawning, if it happen inside a class full of students, most of them, when a student yawn, even the teacher will respond to it.

It is like the full of dominos, you will put them in a certain shape and certain pattern, let's say we putting those dominos in the shape of a dragon or a vase, it just take a simple action, to softly push one of them down, every other pieces will follow the other behind them falling  down.

Furthermore, we are as humans are pattern seekers, it starts with the cave men, when seeking food, they try not being the food of others instead, to know who your predators are and to know who your prey is, by the ability to see pattern, analyze it and comprehend it, then act based on the data you grasped, that what make us deferent from animals. 

Therefore, an idea begin with an illusion, can be contagious and through the pattern that were left behind, this idea will become real and actions can be created based on it.

Tuk……tuk…….tuk..tuk….tuk….

I stoped counting my steps and  how much I walked, I didn’t understand if this is a dream or I magicly traveled here by any way out of my thinking capabilities, after my death infrond of my eyes, I hated being a stepping stone for others, and an amusement thing to pass their time when I was in school, by bullying or make fun at me, in that time I let it happen because I can’t strike back for, evry time I try defending myself by talking back, the words stuck at my mouth and can’t come out, and even if it can comes out, it will be incoherent or forget to continue what in my mind than starting bubling nonsense, that will give me beating or humiliation frond of every one there, whitch push me later to be a lesser talker and isolate myself more from people eash passing day.

That’s why the second my fascination and ow stops about this place, I get erritated that maybe somebody or something send me here to fullfil some of his desires, so I stayed still for somtimeintil my feet ach than I feel pain that I guessed I would never feel again, so when I looked down, my feet look like some rotten meet get grilled, when I moved back, the pain entansified and my the hall upper layer of my food’s skin left behind, when I I moved forward to steps  in harry out of chock, the pain suddenly vanish, after that I started mouving forward couple  of steps more, and there no pain, no smoke, no grilling what so ever, if I don’t whant this pain and agony, I have to continue forward, hoping to survive while my life is on the stake.

Tuk…tuk…..tuk………tuk…..

Irregular Sounds of footsteps can be heard in this god forsaken place that screams danger everywhere you look, a silhout moving straitfoward without any intention for moving in any other direction, like it is in some kind of punishment that it compiled to do, maybe it spend minutes or hours, maybe days or months or even years doing this hellish activity like some robot that its  sole mission is walking ahaid.

Only gloom, bourdom and imtinesssiround it, nothing is in frond of him, and nothing behind, only fleshlesh snakes bellow him and in endless darkness above him, the only barrier from being eaten bellow is water, that seems soft to tach bat solid to stand on it, with its some waives here and there that can produce morelight  than the usual brightness of the lake or osian with some sound , it becomes this silhought only way and companion in this lonleness.

Until a stone thrown hit my face, an old and huge thrown, yet simple, nothing expansive in it, my blank eyes keep staring at it for a long time because my mind still can’t register it, my hole being are numb, my fogy soul could not be felt, my rotten ex shell of of a corps give me the feel of tiredness beyond dispaire that I thought I can’t feel any longer, I don’t know when or how I sit in this thrown but I did, staring upward in the dark void a head, no ideas dancing here and there, no motivation, no hope, nothing, just nothing, I lost myself to the darkness, to the void, absorbed by it calmness.

Then I slowly start wondering how fate works, really it's a mysterious law or a fascinating mystery, can change a life to the better or to the worse, and I'm one of those that their life change but still can't figure out if this change for the better or for the worst because I feel sometime that my heard is hollow, without emotions, not petty, nor sympathy except cowardice and fear and low esteem, other times I wish I can kill every single human in sight, why? because I'm terrified , petrified ,horrified of those creatures, too evil, too heartless, too hypocrites that makes an individual change his nature and his heart.

they said that you have tobe a wolf or get eaten by them, that the terrible reality that reflect our selves but still hide it with the veils of modernity and human rights and democracy, that what every  community want to force their individuals to let themselves beings controlled for the greater good,to the path that lead to make every action and reaction reproduce the dominance of the already strong and powerful, if you don't, well, let's say the people of your country wants extra freedom because of any cause, believe me, they will give it to you but in exchange for your dignity, they will make you poorer and hungry all the time or they will melt or get isolated by society or simply for being nice.

I wish I can reveal the ugliest side of humanities open to all to see, to those of who still in self-denial hope that they never born, and to the rest of the world  to push each other  destroy their masks of hypocrisy, and free themselves of  chains that hold them to only take every thinks for granted. So, lets the world lives in chaos again, and let chaos gives birth to other form of order under my rule.

This world will be my playground sooner or later and I will become the devil that play with their destiny, their future, their past and their present. This time I will conquer all.

A sudden urge to touch the void, to reach what beyond the darkness, to embrace the unknown, so to breathe in peace again, my hole being is like on shaines, can’t move or get up on this stony shair.

However, I can congeal thoughts, through it, I can will my thick dark aura that gets more refine and pure and solid in each step I take forward in the void, with it I will see without my eyes and feel without touchwhich is nothing in this place.

Like a status sitting in the thrown forcibly I might seem, with no regard of consequences that will follow, tirelessly looking for not any particular reason, out of boredom, starting playing with my extinctual foggy self, enjoying some kind of feeling of control while moving forward toward the hazy future, hoping that my abominable past would not wait ahead of me.

Searching to seek anything that will gives me some feeling or make me interested, but only my aura accompany me who gives me feed back to what it found which is nothing until it stumble upon a mater that make my self shedder silty from the impact, this matter is so dark , compere to the darkness that  surrounded it feels like light.

My aura start get absorbed a bit when it touch it than it quiqly like a child that get his first candy to taste after find it delisious, it started to absorb my aura verry quick and smooth with it prosess, in this kind of situation, there is no feeling come to me, no rage or fear or hope, only nothing that overwhelm my being from the tortures that I suffered for a period of time that I’m not aware of it, and still suffer, just waiting how it’s end , either to my doom or to something else.

The Devil may Suffer but never Cry!