Chapter 2 - Landon

I dropped onto my bed, knackered after my day's training. Warrior training was good for me. So much better than being back at home. Kept my mind occupied. Just shit that Daxton and Kaleb had headed home again. They were definitely something I missed when they left. Not that I would tell them that.

I felt my phone buzzing, to look down and see it was my Grandad asking me to call him when I was free. Grandad Grayson. Alpha of the hellhole I was to become Alpha to, thanks to the fucking scum, I had the pleasure of calling my Dad. Not that he ever saw me. No, he had managed to mess up his later teen years from the things I learned. Though, the version my Grandma Talia and Grandad Grayson told me were somewhat tamer than the versions I have since heard.

Leaving me confused. Scared. Unsure of how I felt for him. He was much loved in River Ash Pack, of that there was no doubt. He struggled with his past, I knew that. But I struggled with the fact perhaps some of it was self-inflicted. He chose to drink. He chose the drugs. All as a way to escape the reality he had been handed because it was not the life he had expected. Not the life everyone had predicted for him. But, instead of speaking about it, he used things to escape it.

I knew deep down that was unlikely the reason behind his mental health struggles or the multiple personality disorder, but it didn’t make it any easier to accept. It just made me fear that I could end up the same as my father. Genetics didn’t favor me when he was that way, and my mother was not even worth considering as a person. She was evil itself.

Staying away from River Ash was the best thing to do. Made it easier to forget who I was. And that is what I did from an age I was able. As soon as Grandma Talia began to allow me to start staying with some of my cousins at Lunar River Pack. This was her family’s original pack, and her sister still lived there, along with her children and their children. It was these children that were my cousins that I trained with regularly at the warrior training facility that the pack had recently developed.

I loved it in the pack. It seemed so much more freedom, though perhaps that was because I didn’t have the pressure of an upcoming Alpha there. I had no ties. No commitments. The way I wish my life was. I know my grandparents thought they were doing the right thing by me when they decided to take me in, and bring me up as their own when my Dad died, or, perhaps I should say when my Grandad killed my Dad. And my Mum was locked up. When they chose to bring me up to train me to be the upcoming Alpha, without even giving me a choice. They should have done the decent thing and given the title to the children of my Aunts. I was the result of a fucked up union of fate. One that should have been destroyed.

I sighed. I suppose I should call him. I found his contact, and let the number dial.

“Landon!” Grandad greeted me enthusiastically, almost immediately, like he had been awaiting the call, and knowing my Grandad, he would have been.

“Hi GG.” I replied. “How are you doing?”

“Everything is fine. Wanted your feedback on some work in the pack. Just wondered when you planned to come home next?”

I released the breath I had been holding. He seemed to try to find excuses for me coming back to the pack each time we spoke. Reasons for phone calls. And then each phone call asking when I thought I would be coming back. You would think by now he would have guessed I was in no real rush to return. I felt bad, I knew my Grandad has been an Alpha for over 20 years, longer than he ever expected to. But, I just didn’t feel ready. And surely leaving the pack in the hands of an Alpha that wasn’t ready was a fate worse than death for a pack, wasn’t it?

And, River Ash Pack had been through more than enough over the years. It did not need me going in there, not ready, and messed up in the head, and fucking the place up. Messing up all the hard work my Grandad and my Uncle have done over the years. I would never forgive myself. Staying away was the right thing to do, I was sure of it.

“Erm, I don’t know GG. I got a few things on at the moment, but you are good at making the right choice for pack, so I am happy with whatever you are.” I gave him my standard answer when it came to him needing a decision relating to the pack. Quickly passing on the responsibility back to him. He knew what was better for that place. This had been working since I had shifted. Only returning home on special occasions now. And even then, that was not for prolonged times. The rest of the time, Lunar River Pack was my home. Because, no matter how I looked at this, I am certain I was not cut out to be an Alpha.

“Landon, you know we need you back at the pack. We need to discuss you transitioning to the Alpha role. Time is moving quickly now. I am not getting any younger.” His voice held some emotion, and it made me feel bad, but I know that no matter how he wants to say this, I know I am right.

“I will see what I can do, GG.” I lied, knowing full well I had no intention of heading back to River Ash anytime soon. My grandparents just need to realize that I know better than they do that me being away from there is for the best.