After a day of scholarly stress, I stop by Aunt Hilda's to check on Marco, but he isn't home yet, so I tell Aunt Hilda I'll be on my way to work. I ride my bike and eventually get back home. As I open the door, the sight of Mom in her favorite white sheath dress dancing to a piece of instrumental classical music greets me. She stops her graceful movements when I shut the door. I look at her appreciatively and then she beams me a smile."What party are we celebrating?" I joke.She sways her head to the beats of low piano notes. "I just felt like wearing your grandma's dress again.""Well, you look great in it.""I'll give this to you soon."I hate myself for interpreting that very differently. I step forward and fix Mom's hair. "We'll survive this life, okay?" I reassure her.She nods with a smile. "Of course, we are.""I love you, Mom.""I love you so, so much, my Stella." She kisses my forehead, and then we collide into a tight embrace.I then made her dinner and give her some CDs of
The Friday exams have topped off with me harboring a silent mental deterioration. The subjects were difficult, but at least I knew what I was doing. Now, we'll be waiting for next week to catch sight of our exam results. I hope I've done well. I believe in myself, but I can't sidestep being apprehensive. It's coded in my very flesh already.Anyhow, it's lunch already. The afternoon classes are vacant for the preparation of the gymnasium for the seniors' ball tomorrow evening. I sit among Reign's girlfriends together with the several varsity teams around the long table. I just feel like socializing today. I settle down between Reign and Colton to get some tea. I take a bite of my cheeseburger before talking to Reign. "Hey.""Hi, Stella," she greets after swallowing some of her juice."Ready for tomorrow?" I ask."Kind of. How about you?""I guess so.""Who's your date?" she queries.O God. Oh, gosh. Yeah. I forgot about it. I don't have a date. Is it really essential to have a date? Ugh
I wake up at an icy Sunday dawn. I yawn out a mist of breath and then immediately wear another layer of sweatshirt. It's gotten colder and snow is bound to fall in next week. At last. The third quarter's exams are done. The seniors' ball was fun. I guess it's time to treat myself to an early morning run. I wear my running shoes and leggings and then get out of the apartment, taking off to the uncrowded streets.I've already jogged for more or less half an hour when I arrive at the park. Fog still covers the surroundings, so it's quite hard for me to concentrate on exercising. Instead, I walk along the dewy row of benches to get a little bit warmer. It straightens my cropped tank top and then redo my ponytail.The small café I occasionally stop by isn't open yet, so I resume sauntering through the bricked-up paths. I turn to my back and start stepping backward, my arms stretching out up in the air, feeling the energy of nature as I shut my eyes tight until somebody bumps into me. I'm ab
I'd been feeling okay these past few days, but it's all gone now. Any moments of joy and cheers in my studies and work have just been set ablaze into ashes since Mom got admitted to the hospital. I feel the void in me eating all of my strength away. Our father and Sean already left us. I'm not used to Mom being away, especially when she's not in shape. I wonder how she's doing at the hospital. I hope the medical staff are taking good care of her thereI idly sit on the couch and lean my head against the backrest. It's still a tragedy to me how Mom managed to camouflage the pain she suffered. Is that how worried is she about my own weal? That it took her to mask her own agony just to make me feel like I was doing everything right? To make me feel like my sacrifices are worth it? She really should've just told me about her spinal injury complicating.I toss down the glass of iced milk and then undo my socks. I put my legs on the small table and put out my phone. I look at Aunt Hilda's nu
I go to school and send my subject teachers my apology for my absence from the morning classes. Throughout the afternoon classes, I have a clearer mind than I had yesterday. It may be because I've already secured the money needed for Mom's treatments. Or have I? I'm sure Ryle meant that. He'll lend me money in exchange for those three conditions. I have to work it out well for Mom. Just for Mom.It's an afternoon recession. I run across the street and enter Aunt Hilda's block. As I enter their open entrance, Marco greets me, "Good afternoon, cousin."I nod and then smile. "Good afternoon too, Marco. What's up?"He sits on an upholstered stool. "I think Reign and I are going along well so.""Well, that's good.""How about you and Kent?"I let out a long sigh. "Marco, I thought I'd told you about this thousands of times. We're never going to get back together. It's not going to happen anymore. Not now, and not in the following decades until I lie in my grave."It's not a lie though. Ken
Ryle and I have been traveling for at least an hour now. I don't know where he's taking me, but I don’t care — I'm too eased up by this trail of wind hitting against us. It's all comfy, cozy, and cushy. I feel like my lungs have just gotten rid of the pollution the city has handed over. We've just passed the suburbs and are now on the feeder sandwiched between the fields of lavenders. The smell of wind has gotten more aromatic and fresh as we go deeper into the unknown.I tighten my embrace when we continue along some rockier part of the feeder until the path totally ends with a dry dirt patch. I look around. There are hills ahead and I can see an arrangement of thingamabobs on top of one. Ryle takes his leather jacket off, causing me to instinctively get off his motorcycle. I then turn away from his frame when he spins his head in my direction.He chuckles. "You can watch me, Stella," he says arrogantly.What the hell? Is he out of his mind? I'm never wat
It's already a quarter past ten in the evening yet guests continue entering the restaurant. After some more minutes, the count of heads has subsided. At last. I can get home now. I've decided that I'll visit Mom once a day since I have a busy schedule. I hope she agrees with that. I know she will. I then go to the table of the newly arrived customer in a black hoodie and beanie."Good evening, signore," I greet with such low spirits since I'm tired already. "Have you already chosen your meal?""Not yet." His voice disturbingly sounds familiar. "Can I have the ninth dish on the menu, please?"I nod, scanning his face. I look at his familiar lips and then get beside his seat. I pinch his upper arm, causing him to chuckle in pain. It's Ryle. "What are you doing here?" I ask"I'm going to go eat, Stella," he responds before holding my hand and kissing it.I get off his touch and shove him away weakly. I don't want my co-workers to see his shi
As the afternoon classes come to an end, my anxiety has just risen and risen. I'll get the money today from Ryle. That means tomorrow is when Mom will get her spinal cord surgery. I'm joyful knowing that she's recovering one step at a time. I saw that this day would come . . . but not this sooner. Thank you, God. Thank you, universe. Thank you time and fate. On the other hand, this also means I have now to repay Ryle for the money. I have to spend a night with him. Am I ready yet? Honestly, not really. I've told myself since this morning that I can do this, but that seems to be a blur as seconds dramatically fly into nonexistence. I wish I could just requite with money, but that would be another burden to carry and I'll never have that kind of number in a month or two. It'll take me more or less half of a year to wholly recompense him.I go out through the school gates and cross the street and then head to Aunt Hilda's block. I'm sort of proud of what I've done to endure sa
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A new morning rises. It's Saturday and the day is fully packed for me. First, I’ll be at the art studio to finish up a project I left last Sunday. Second, I’ll go to the address Mister Fabio gave me. There isn't a schedule or what, so I'll just go after lunch. I still don't know what to expect. I guess I’ll just let fate do its thing. And last but not least, I’m going to Ryle’s house in the early evening. It's time to face him, whether he likes it or not. But I’d like the earlier more.After slipping into my slippers, I excitedly get out of the room. I immediately smell the breakfast Mom has prepared. I go to the dining room and find Mom stirring her tea while listening to the faint broadcast on her old radio. “Good morning, Mom,” I greet before giving her a tight embrace. “How are you feeling?”She smiles after turning the radio off. “I’ve been good lately. No side effects from medication. My stitches have already healed. Everything is fine,” she says. She stands up. “I’ll just make
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup."How did I get onto your bed?" I change the topic unint
I’ve almost gotten out of my room when I look back at my charging phone. I sit on my bed and the plugged my charger out. I look at Ryle's number before finally hitting the ‘Call’ button. While my phone is ringing, I’m thinking of what I’m going to tell him. I shouldn't sound that curious even though I've actually been since the other night. He's my boyfriend, and I'm his girlfriend. He deserves space, and I do deserve why he needs one, or so I thoughy. He shouldn't be doing this alone. He can share to me what's going on because I hate myself sitting on the mattres and overthinking things.
It's already lunch. I’m sitting alone at a table, eating whatever it is on my tray. I really didn't pick these. Reign did. I was rechecking our team output for Chemistry in the classroom so I told her ‘Just grab me whatever you think I’d like,’ and she didn't fail. She's currently sitting with her girlfriends. She invites me to join them, but I tell her I need to review for Math while filling in my stomach. I hope she knows I’m not as brainy in Math as she naturally is.Anyway, in the following minutes, all I’ve done is sigh and yawn in front of the Trigonometry section of the textbook. It feels like nothing is coming into my mind but void and void. The topic isn't that difficult to grasp. I’m just the problem. I kind of lack appropriate motive to face a book and write essays since Lester dropped me off. His words have been reverberating in my mind, and I can't find a way how to block them. I'm aware that it totally is unhealthy, but overthinking is enveloping every corner of my brain
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup."How did I get onto your bed?" I change the topic unint
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup."How did I get onto your bed?" I change the topic unint
I’ve almost gotten out of my room when I look back at my charging phone. I sit on my bed and the plugged my charger out. I look at Ryle's number before finally hitting the ‘Call’ button. While my phone is ringing, I’m thinking of what I’m going to tell him. I shouldn't sound that curious even though I've actually been since the other night. He's my boyfriend, and I'm his girlfriend. He deserves space, and I do deserve why he needs one, or so I thoughy. He shouldn't be doing this alone. He can share to me what's going on because I hate myself sitting on the mattres and overthinking things.
“Mom told me about it the day after I acted like a dick to you,” Ryle says sorrily, sincerity evident in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Stella. I truly am.”I cup his cheeks and then sweetly kiss one of them. “I know the truth now, Ryle. I’m not mad anymore.” I then smile.He bitterly beams and stays silent for some seconds before speaking again. “I’ve only wanted us to get through this bullshit. I may not deserve you, but you deserve pure love, Stella. I’ll give it to you in any way whatever.”“Ryle.” I stand up, pulling him up as well. I wrap my arms around his broad trunk and then lean my head against his chest. His heartbeats are music to my ears. They calm me. I look back up at Ryle and just smile, my chin on the very center of his chest. “We deserve each other, Ryle. I want us to through this together. Never alone. My future is right in front of me. I’ll never let it go anymore. Ever,” I calmly say.He puts a peck on the tip of my nose and then replies, “I love you so much, baby. I’ll