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43. Matilda
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A Damaged Alpha 44. Cillian
I’m halfway to being sane again. Her tiny hand in mine. She’s safe, and we’re going to be okay. I have no doubt in my mind that facing down my anger, my pain and embarrassment and choosing not to kill was the fork in the road Zena warned me about. For if I had harmed her, that would have been the end of my sanity. There would have been no coming back from that. Not in a million years. Even with Vez restored I would have been a wrecked shell. I know in my soul that making a mistake as vile as killing my own mate would have left me uncontrollable. I’d have wanted to main and destroy everything linked to my catastrophe. But thanks to my father’s wisdom, my mother’s kind heart and the Betas who have guided me through my life I was just, only just, able to see beyond the hate. The raw pink of her skin where the tape had been felt like my own stab wounds. Lookiny at each red welt made my guts churn. All the hate that swelled within has been replaced with a desperate desire to make our
A Damaged Alpha 45. Cillian
The bloodied lump on the table had almost entirely regained his consciousness. “Where am I? What the fuck is this? Alpha Cillian?” Tange muttered, each statement panickier as he wriggled against his restraints. I walked slowly towards him, aware of my heavy boots stomping. I wanted him to be scared. He deserves to be terrified., In my flattest, firmest tone I tried to convey the same authority my father had. I might be young but there is no doubt I wield the power of life and death over my pack members. “Tange. It’s over. You’re getting one chance to tell me everything. I’m taking my wolf back regardless. I can do it with or without killing you.” It took some accepting that I had caused all that damage. That mangled, bloodied face with a nose that resembled crushed tomatoes was the sole product of my unrestrained anger. I heard the soft footsteps of Briss as he stood watch at the arched doorway. Tange’s eyes flashed between golden yellow, orange, and grey, two wolves battling for
A Damaged Alpha 46. Matilda
Watching Zena work has been incredible. Seeing an actual wolf spirit entering the glass vial was mesmerising. Glowing like a captured star the sight had made all of us gasp and utter silent blessings to our Goddess. Equally shocking was how Tange visibly greyed. Ageing before our eyes. I realised then how much impact having stolen a powerful Alpha wolf like Vez had made to him. He was reduced to an elderly, crooked man within seconds of losing him. Muscle tone, charisma, everything faded whilst he was unconscious on a table.Zena’s hands shook as she intensely muttered her oaths and tributes. A language I did not recognise, I turned away and buried my face into Briss’s arm when she finally cut Cillian’s throat using a bronze blade.The angry swell of scarlet blood down hs neck was terrifying. But the gleaming starlight travelled straight into him. Cillian’s whole body then shook, convulsing as his wolf re-entered and accepted him as a host.Zena had stepped back quickly. Lighting an
A Damaged Alpha 47. Cillian
It’s utter insanity. Everything, every event of the last twenty-four hours. From reuniting with Vez, the impossible blessing of my parents final guidance. Then to witness the pitiful state of my sister and Nikolai. There is no way I would have come up with this plan had I taken the other fork in the road. There is every chance my sister would have died if I had been so caught up in my own hate-filled rage. Especially, if as Zena suggested I was unkind or even violent towards her in the other version of events. Who would have been there to apply the herbs, salves and incense that give the two bloodied individuals in the back of our truck a chance to live. Everything about the plan is insane. Yet as I announced it I knew in my guts it was the best shot we had. Phillipe is cocky, overconfident. To kill his own parents, he is suffering delusions of invincibility. He will believe there is no way his plan can fail. So he will see the blood splattered chamber where Matilda died. He will s
A Damaged Alpha 48. Matilda
All day I’ve hidden in the bookcase-lined study. Hours of seeing nothing but emerald green fabrics and dark mahogany wood. I knew at any moment Cillian could rush in here, busy with funeral arrangements so I made a little den for myself. Curled up in a ball in the far corner of the room, where the meeting table wraps around at an angle. I know it would offer little protection. After a few hours in here, my scent would be obvious to anyone walking in, but I don’t want to let him down. Being able to cry everything out onto his chest was the greatest relief. He let me grieve without judgement. Knowing I won’t be able to honour Papa with a funeral pyre, I mourned him all the way home. He was the most perfect father. To all of us. We knew every single day we were his pride and joy. Some in Cragstone laughed at him for having so many daughters, but he would always reply we were more useful to the pack than any man. On the last leg of the journey, when I swapped seats with Zena, I held
A Damaged Alpha 49. Cillian
I think it’s going to work. By the end of a long, tiring day everything was in place. We had confirmation Luna Helena and Alpha Alexander were attending. Luna Freya and Alpha Phillipe, the name like a curse upon my tongue, had also confirmed. Three of them were devastated, obviously. Sadly, the Ceremony massacre actually helped us in selling the lie. Over the past few months the nation had become used to the prospect of murder. Slit throats, assassins with syringes of wolfsbane, our new reality. Any other day I would have been ready to collapse on my bed. But I have Matilda now. The thought made my heart race and Vez antsy, to know she was merely a few feet away in the study. When I walked in bearing snacks and drinks, I had intended to just catch up with her. She was grieving, sad and thoughtful when I left her. The woman waiting for me in that study was a pure vixen. My footsteps woke her but the instant she saw me her eyes shimmered. Need, desire and love all swirled in those
A Damaged Alpha 50. Matilda
Cillian didn’t leave until well after midnight. I knew he wasn’t going to bed. He would be spending some of the night in the attic with Zena tending to Gen and Nikolai. Leona and Naomi had been sent back home. I was grateful when I realised I'd never live at home again. Without my father there, it is going to take a long time to even want to set foot in there. A lot of pressure was on Leona and Naomi them to keep the story straight. Especially seeing as they had to admit they were sent there to protect the pair. So essentially, they were having to confess they had failed in their task. That would include eventual questioning by White Forest if it got that far. To the general population, they were sent to protect Genevieve and her mate and had failed. I was desperate to know how they were doing, but there was no way I could even write a note. The risk was too great. If Beta Patrick and his cronies were brave enough to tap up high-ranking Beta’s like Zeke for potential betrayal,
A Damaged Alpha 51. Cillian
Heading another Pyre was a sinkhole of guilt. Performing it for my parents had been traumatic enough, everything collapsing around me. This time, I felt like a circus juggler on stage. Especially with Phillipe’s beady eyes fixed on me.“That was a beautiful ceremony,” he offered flatly, leaving a crying Freya to approach me. The wiry, sour-faced Beta Patrick joined us, all of us dressed in black. “You have done your sister proud.”“And Alpha Prince Nikolai too,” I added firmly.“Well let us hope that now he is dead the random acts of violence across our nation will stop too,” Beta Patrick added stiffly. I noticed his bright green eyes flashed with silver shards. I wondered if that was a sign of a newly-gained wolf he was struggling to control. He managed not to lose his shit when Nikolai called him a pipsqueak and pushed past him, so why was he emotional now? /I wonder if Freya knows his iris, maybe we are becoming paranoid/ Vex warned.“Have you given any further thoughts to my sug
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