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Confusing thoughts
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2023-11-25 23:09:57Related chapters
A Castle of Secrets Coolest guy you know
Small pups were running around out front of the tall looming building. It was outdated and in desperate need of repair, something that I would dedicate more funds to once I become Queen. “Princess,” one of the pups squealed, alerting them all. Everyone came rushing over, bowing their heads. “Princess, have you brought gifts?” little Finnley questioned with bright eyes. He was five years old when his parents were killed in a rogue attack. He was now seven and no closer to finding a suitable family. Most of these pups wouldn’t. It broke my heart the first time that I’d come here. Many faces were still the same as the fateful day, and I vowed to make it my mission to make sure that they never went without. It was another one of my dirty little secrets. Mother’s head would probably explode if she knew that I came here so frequently. “Is that your boyfriend?” Ember questioned, her bright blue eyes staring wide at Ezra. Collective ooooohs were heard throughout the crowd, making me
Last Updated : 2023-11-25A Castle of Secrets Unexpected
“What are you doing in here?” Sebastian was sitting at the edge of my bed with his hands crossed waiting for me to return. “What is he doing in here?” Seb mumbled, standing quickly. “He is going to be my King. This is OUR room now.” “Why can’t he stay down the hall?” Seb whispered. “You think my mother is going to break tradition?!” “Can you two take your lover’s quarrel somewhere else?” Elliot stared at the two of us. “There is no argument, Seb, you need to leave.” “Lily, please. Don’t push me out. Not because of him,” Sebastian glared angrily towards Elliot, “Hear me out.” “I’m not pushing you out for anyone but your own actions, Seb. You should go.” Sebastian lingered, “I don’t want to leave things unspoken.” “She said to leave,” Elliot growled, his eyes growing dangerously black. Without another word, Sebastian stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind him. “Thank you for that, but I can handle myself.” Elliot stared at me for a moment before ret
Last Updated : 2023-11-25A Castle of Secrets Memories
TRIGGER WARNING:SA “Thank you,” I finally gained the courage to speak after Elliot returned to my room. I’m unsure as to where he went, but it gave me time to eat my first meal in blissful silence. My mother's eyes always found me at the table, no matter where we were. She looks at me with disgust every time she sees me with food, and it's exhausting living beneath the umbrella of her disappointment. “For what?” he arched a brow. His face remained stoic as he stared at me awaiting an answer. I grabbed my brush, running it through my freshly showered hair, “For standing up for me. It’s the first time that anyone has in as long as I can remember.” “Don’t get used to it. Your mother’s presence was just agitating me,” he mumbled. “Get used to that," I huffed, wincing as the brush snagged on a knot in my hair, "Her presence has agitated me for twenty years.” Placing my leg up on my vanity, I grabbed lotion, massaging it into my skin. Switching to the other side, I suddenly felt
Last Updated : 2023-11-25A Castle of Secrets Fate(Elliot POV)
The sound of the storm blaring through the speakers of her phone gave me a sense of peace. My mind has been swirling with turmoil and regret since agreeing to this stupid contract. Chaos was a real asshole. I was finally feeling something beyond the pain. Finding myself after years of depression and wallowing. “Don’t try to pin this all on me. Might I remind you my existence in this pathetic, Earthly realm is solely for you?” The voice in my mind reminded me as if I’d forget. I will never forget. That was the beauty of it. He numbed my mind for the most part, but the memories would always remain. The accident. The depression. And the loss. My mind is at its worst in the night, when the world is silent, my thoughts are loud. Nightmares plagued my once peaceful sleep and I quickly realized that a functioning adult doesn't actually need as much sleep as you think. CRACK The boom of thunder cracked loudly, and my gaze turned to Lilliana. She was sleeping so peacefully. A sm
Last Updated : 2023-11-28A Castle of Secrets What if's
Elliot was gone from our bed when I woke up this morning. A part of me wanted to break through the wall that he had guarding his heart. We were stuck together for the next nine months. There was no reason we couldn’t be friendly. We would have to work closely to convince the people of Nymeria that there was some reality behind the fact that we’d chosen each other. Every King and Queen was required to go before their Kingdom and pledge their loyalty to their people. It was a huge deal, and the entire Kingdom was in attendance as well as the Kings and Queens of surrounding realms. I needed to talk to Elliot about creating a convincing front. People had to believe we were together in order to build trust. They wouldn’t just welcome him with open arms. Especially knowing my father's hatred for Valtarin and the Lakin's. Sitting up, I rolled my neck, ready to tackle the task of today; Planning the ceremony, both mine and that of my father’s ceremonial burial. My heart ached at
Last Updated : 2023-11-28A Castle of Secrets Rose-colored glasses
“Who’s there?”The crunching of the footsteps halts at the sound of my voice.Pushing myself off the ground, I quickly blink away the tears that blur my vision, training my ears. Without my Lycan, I’ve got limited abilities.
Last Updated : 2023-11-29A Castle of Secrets Games
His tongue slid out between a perfect row of white teeth before he bit down on his plush, bottom lip. The smile that was on his face showed off his dimples, which somehow made him even more attractive. Elliot was sexy as hell, and he had me in the palm of his hand right now.Fuck every warning bell telling me to run away. Fuck every time he was an asshole to me. He’s the sexiest asshole I’ve ever seen, and I want him to do dirty, nasty things to my body.
Last Updated : 2023-11-30A Castle of Secrets Rinse and repeat
“If you could control yourself in the kitchen, this dress might look half decent,” my mother gritted out as she pulled the strings on my corset tighter. I ignored the dig, allowing the numb feeling of today to take over. She somehow possessed the ability to make me feel numb while simultaneously making me feel like a flaming piece of shit. As I mindlessly stared at myself in the mirror, my mother slowly stole my ability to breathe. Flashes in my mind take me back to the day that I was in this very same position. Three years ago. “Father, I can’t. How am I supposed to say goodbye?” I sobbed, collapsing to the floor. “Sweetheart, goodbyes are for those we will never see again. See you later is the better term. You will meet your brother in the afterlife. We must be as strong as we can right now. Dallas wouldn’t want us to crumble in his absence,” my father kneeled to my level, speaking softly as he grabbed my hands, "He will finally be free." “He was my best friend,” I snif
Last Updated : 2023-12-01
Latest chapter
A Castle of Secrets Prologue (THE END)
“I think these may have been the greatest idea you’ve ever had,” I moaned, savoring the taste of another blueberry. My basket was nearing full, despite the fact that I’d eaten probably a hundred while picking them. Elliot had suggested we plant a garden full of fruit trees and bushes so that "we could relive meeting every day." Those were his words, not mine. The moment he'd said them, I swore someone had switched out the man I knew with some strange creature. “Aren’t all of my ideas superb?” Elliot quipped, watching me with a smile on his face. Standing on my tip-toes, I pushed a blueberry into his mouth, causing his eyes to widen, “See?!” “I’m just shocked you’d stick those dirty fingers into my mouth,” Elliot shook his head in mock irritation, “But the blueberry is delicious.” “Such a pain in the ass.” Elliot winked, “You knew what you were signing up for.” Sitting the basket on the wood, I pushed myself up onto the deck before flopping onto Elliot’s lap dramatica
A Castle of Secrets Didn't make it to hell
A soft knock on the door startled me, “May I come in?” Stella whispered, holding out a tray of coffees. “Of course.” She held the tray up, “I brought enough for everyone. Chaos knows he’s welcome to hang out. In the open,” Stella raised a brow, pulling a coffee out and handing it to me. “He says he prefers to be closer to me. Apparently next to me isn’t close enough,” a soft laugh escaped my lips, “Inside of me is the way to go.” 'Don't act like you don't love when I'm inside of you,' Chaos quipped. I could imagine him wagging his brows at the double meaning. He's not wrong. In either respect. Though I couldn't fathom the thought of being intimate right now. Maybe ever if I can't figure out how to fix this gaping hole that I call my heart. She rolled her eyes, “So dramatic, that man.” I nodded in agreement as Chaos separated from me, narrowing his eyes at Stella, “You do realize that I can hear everything. Is it a crime to want to be inside of an amazing woman?” he w
A Castle of Secrets Need him
Do you ever feel like your life is a series of moments threaded together, but one piece pulls away, unraveling everything as you know it? My father’s death created somewhat of a domino effect for me. I was like a rosebud. I had the potential to be something amazing, but without the proper nutrients, I would die before I bloomed. My mother had tried to starve me of everything I essentially needed to flourish. But in the end, she gave me the one thing that would change everything. I’ve been staring mindlessly out this window for what feels like a lifetime, but it couldn’t be more than a week. I've lost track of days, hours, minutes, seconds. None of that matters anyways.It’s stormed every day since he’s been gone. When I was a pup, the storms terrified me. I’d cry until Dallas relented, allowing me to stay in his room with him. Then, when he was gone, I’d welcomed them. Needed the sound of the thunder to fall asleep, like a baby needs a pacifier. Now, it simply feels as if it’s
A Castle of Secrets Good enough
“El..... It.... hurts,” I choked out, as pain spread through my body like wildfire. My body tensed up, feeling as if I’d been tased, “Di.... did I....do it wrong?” Elliot offered me a small smile. Even through the pain, I noticed his eyes were red and glassy, “It’ll be over soon, baby. You did perfect. Just, squeeze my hand.” Screwing my eyes shut, I focused on baby blues in the darkness, feeling the warmth of his hand while I waited for the pain to pass. Then, everything was numb. My body felt as if I were floating on a cloud. Warmth enveloped me as I opened my eyes. I felt different. Like parts of me were missing while simultaneously being filled with something new. Something better. “Fuck, kitten. I’m so proud of you,” Chaos praised in my head, “So fucking proud.” A choked sob escaped my throat, my eyes finding Elliot staring at me with his head tilted to the side. The glassiness was still present in his eyes. Relief flooded his features when I nodded at him, silently
A Castle of Secrets A hero(Chaos POV)
I’m so close to destroying everything. This mortal Earth is nothing without her. It would cease to exist without her presence. Her eyes haunt me every time I close mine. I’d wrap myself in every variation of emerald, green just to feel closer to her. I underestimated that walking fucking garbage can. Cassius was a waste of space and a disgrace to our kind. He’s been on some sick power trip for hundreds of years, mingling with the lowest of our kind. After we figured out what he was doing, my father sent me to murder those who aided him in becoming who he is. It is forbidden to go against the laws in hell. Despite being demons, we are to follow the law of Hades and never stray. We abide by a strict code, where Hades has the final rule. It prevents literal chaos from ensuing. Without order and discipline, Hell would be a madhouse. But we each hold ourselves to a certain standard and it typically worked until him. He consumed unwilling souls, learning ways around the law to bene
A Castle of Secrets The moment everything changed(Elliot POV)
TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of suicide Have you ever thought that you’d experienced the worst kind of pain, but really, it was nothing compared to the next thing? Or something that even follows that? In one moment, you think to yourself, ‘It can’t get worse than this,” but then, it always does? That’s what this feels like. Lilliana asked me what I thought would happen if she sold her soul to Chaos.... Would I feel our souls tearing apart? Would I feel the pain of rejection.... or would it be so much worse? Is she choosing him over me? “Elliot, you’ve been silent for what feels like a lifetime,” her soft voice broke me from my thoughts. “I....I’m not sure.” “Stella explained to us that Cassius wants to combine our magic. Light and dark. If I am the light magic, and Chaos is the dark magic; Do you think it’ll have the same effect? Will Chaos then become the stronger of the two of them?” Lilliana paused for a beat, “It has to be the same. Maybe better, because I’d be willing to g
A Castle of Secrets Need to get out of here
I had a dream last night. I wasn’t here, in this cell anymore. I was back at the little, dilapidated house near my oasis. Everything was as it would have been. No broken walls or rotted wooden floorboards. It was a home with light and warmth. The little home felt like it was mine.In the background, the sound of a record player ticked. Like the needle wasn’t quite hitting the groove as the record spun, creating an eerie sound.I walked towards the sound, lifting the needle, and causing pure silence. The type of silence that created a ringing in your ears. It was too much. Was I all alone here? Carefully adjusting the needle, a soft, haunting melody began playing. When the party’s over by Billie Eilish I stood before the warmth of the fire, hearing nothing but the soft piano in the background of the song. Closing my eyes, I swayed to the beat, humming along with the words. The urge to dance with someone was strong, "Elliot, dance with me," I called out into the silence, turning
A Castle of Secrets Geodes
TRIGGER WARNING:SA Sleep never comes easy when you lose track of time. I’m officially unsure of how long we’ve been down here or what time of day it is. That goddamned light flickering invades the darkness every time I close my eyes. Drip. Drip. Drip. “Where are you even coming from?!” I screamed at the water slowly dripping, then disappearing into the concrete. “Are you yelling at water right now?” Elliot groaned, making me gasp. He’s been unconscious for what feels like forever. “Thank the goddess,” I scrambled over to the adjoining wall. My heart beat rapidly as I stared at him with pleading eyes. Elliot looked like he’d been through the wringer. Dried blood surrounded his mouth as well as dripped from his temple. He had bruise marks around his neck in the shape of hands. The rise and fall of his chest seemed labored with every breath. “Never felt better,” Elliot forced a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. His icy blue looked like they’d lost their light, appearing g
A Castle of Secrets Medusa
Elliot looked at the ground before running his fingers through the mess of hair on his head. I stared, waiting for what he was going to say. The more I watched him, the more I realized how nervous he appeared. “The last few days without you kind of sucked,” his voice was low as our eyes met. I couldn’t fight the laughter that bubbled out. Shaking my head, I smiled, “I missed you too.” He relaxed, chuckling softly while shaking his head, “Just call me out like that.” My laughter died down as I shrugged, “If you’re going to tell me a truth. Make it the truth. Deal?” “Okay,” Elliot whispered softly, “Your turn.” “Are we making this a game?” “How about twenty-one questions?” Elliot raised a brow, watching my reaction. Before I could say anything, he read my mind, “I promise to be honest.” Heat flooded my cheeks, nodding slowly, “What’s your favorite food?” “Starting off cutthroat with that question I see,” Elliot winked, “A good burger does it for me. Extra pickles. Pepp
