Chapter 19

~ BELLA’S POV

I couldn’t sleep last night, not because I was hurt but because I couldn’t stop thinking about what Austin said to me. He made me feel dirty of myself, made me feel like I slut; indeed he was right I let him touch me.

I tried to think about him or anything else but my mind kept drowning back to him. I don’t know why but I don’t believe his words, I think he was just trying to convince himself. The way he behaved last night made me very curious, I want to know why he said all that. Did he mean it or he just said it to hurt me?

Either way, I feel like something is wrong with him. I think Austin is hiding something about himself and he doesn’t want me to find out. When he kissed me last night, it was different from the previous time. I felt a strange connection between us and somehow I saw a different look in his eyes. I saw light and darkness warring within their depths as if he was battling against himself wanting to stop himself. I know I sound crazy but it’s true- wel