ELAINEMy mind was whirring as I flushed the toilet and stepped out of the stall.Stepping up to the gleaming blue sink, I turned on the water and thrust my hand into the cold stream to calm my racing head.It had been a very hectic evening, and to say I was tired was the understatement of the year.I couldn't believe I had to go back to the party when all I wanted to do was hop in the first car that’d take me back to Giovanni's mansion and my bed. Even though the mansion was its own special brand of misery, at least in my room, it was quiet.Turning off the water, I gripped the sink to steady my raging nerves.I knew I was being naïve, but I hadn’t expected the ball to be filled with the same caliber of people my father associated with. It was stupid, but I thought Giovanni had been invited to a normal ball for charity, a fundraiser, or something equally benign.But no. I was thrust into another hellhole filled with people who reminded me of my father for the sole purpose of being so
GIOVANNIFury and rage were the only emotions I could feel.My anger was reminiscent of a volcano as it bubbled and raged in my chest, threatening to lash out at anything in my line of sight.I was in my Jeep with an unconscious Elaine lying across my lap. She looked so small and vulnerable in her beautiful black dress with my water-soaked white handkerchief pressed against her blood-splattered forehead. Her eyes were closed like she was merely asleep.As the car raced back to the banquet hall, I fumed uncontrollably at what she’d been reduced to.While the car zoomed at breakneck speed to reach our destination, I recounted how I first noticed her missing.I watched as André stretched his hand out for his wife as an invitation to dance. Marie giggled like a schoolgirl and accepted her husband’s hand.They left in the direction of the dance floor, and I was finally blissfully alone.With nothing else to do, I turned to one of my favorite pastimes: alcohol.At the bar, I ordered another
ELAINEWhen I opened my eyes again, all I felt was a dull ache in my head and the need to pee.I sat up and tried to take stock of my environment.Confusion quickly flooded me as I took in the empty bed and the rest of the dimly lit room.I tried to recall what had happened prior to waking up, but I was drawing blank and increasing the ache in my head.I squinted to try to make out any details about the room, but everything was unfamiliar.My gaze landed on what looked like a vanity. On top of it was something sparkly. Through the faint sliver of light from the sliding doors that seemed to lead to a balcony, I could make out the shape of the diamond pendant that Giovanni had given me.All at once, the memories came flooding back.Leaving Giovanni’s mansion, the party, the gun pressed to me as a man forced me into the Jeep and the accident.I gasped in fright as my hands immediately flew to my neck and wrists, feeling for bruises. In the insufficient light I couldn’t see anything. I co
GIOVANNI“Nothing much. I’m trying to be there for you just like you’ve been there for me.”I’d been through a lot of dangerous shit and stared death down numerous times, but never in my life had one single sentence unnerved the hell out of me.My indecision and shock caused me to freeze as Elaine’s arms remained firmly wrapped around me.I looked at the smooth, creamy skin of her arms. For a second, I was tempted by the idea of accepting what she freely offered—to give into the vulnerability I was feeling deep down.But it was only for a second before I snapped out of it.Laughing, I drank some more whiskey.“Don’t be stupid, Elaine,” I told her as I tried to free myself from her hold.It was futile. She only tightened her arms. “I’m not letting go.”I let out a hiss at how unwaveringly stubborn she could be, but otherwise, I stopped trying to remove her.Silence descended between us, only our breaths punctuating the air.I took this quiet time to make some plans. I needed to contact
GIOVANNIWhen I opened my eyes, the sun was on full blast, throwing warmth and light through the expansive hotel room.The entire room was in disarray, but that wasn’t what caught my attention.Still asleep with the white sheets barely covering her curvaceous body was Elaine. My arms were wrapped snugly around her as she slept without a care in the world.As I removed a lock of dark hair that’d fallen across her face, I realized that this was the first time I’d spent an entire night in her bed and woken up with her. It was my usual practice to leave right away or send her out.What’s more? This was also the first time that I’d slept without being plagued by the recurring nightmare that haunted my sleep. It was a nightmare stemming from one of the worst days of my childhood. The day that changed me completely and shaped the man I am today.I could still remember it like it was yesterday.Her pain-filled screams for mercy, the bang of the gun as the bullet was delivered straight into he
ELAINESilence.That was all that was between us now. Just silence.We were in the car heading toward the mansion, and Giovanni hadn’t uttered as much as a word to me.That didn’t mean he was altogether quiet. Oh no, every five minutes or so, his phone would ring, and he’d pick it up, barking orders at whoever was on the other end.I had no idea what was happening because he had mostly spoken in Italian, and I wasn’t fluent in it. I caught a few words here and there, but it wasn’t enough to get the full picture of what was happening.Besides that, he never spoke to me, and it was starting to make me uneasy.I didn’t understand what was happening, but I knew it wasn’t good. His anger was practically radioactive as he sat beside me, and I didn’t know if I was unknowingly contributing to his bad mood.I couldn’t help but compare this Giovanni to the one last night who was so vulnerable, compassionate, and warm. He’d held me gently, stroked my face, and caressed me in a way a real lover w
GIOVANNIAfter what I witnessed today I was sure my already fucked up mind would get even more twisted. More damaged. Stone and I were en route to our cocaine depot, where our shipment had been hijacked.I gazed out the window, but it was all a blur. We’d just finished examining the exploded warehouse, and the scene would forever be etched into my mind.The warehouse lay in ruins, a hellish inferno that seared its image into my soul. The air reeked of scorched flesh. Amidst the charred debris, the twisted remains of my comrades lay, their bodies unrecognizable, consumed by flames that left nothing but grim reminders of my enemy’s brutality.The scene was a nightmare of charred rubble and billowing smoke, where the flames had ravaged with such ferocity that all traces of the building’s existence were destroyed. Only the ghostly outline of its foundation and scattered remnants of a roof and wall told the story that it was ever there. Among the devastation lay the remains of my comrades
ELAINE“Hi, baby,” I greeted my son as Lia handed the phone to him.I’d been talking to Lia through FaceTime, and we were just through catching up. Now I was speaking to my son.He sat in the back seat of the car, dressed in his everyday clothes: a comfortable T-shirt featuring one of his beloved cartoon characters, SpongeBob SquarePants, paired with denim jeans speckled with patches that were no doubt from his adventures on the playground. Blue was right next to him. The blue dinosaur looked like he had acquired a few new wear marks since I last saw him.“I miss you so much, baby,” I told him.“You too, mama,” he answered. I had called right when they were on their way back from the grocery store.The sun had finally set on this utterly unbearable day, and so far, chatting with my son was the only bright spot.Security at the mansion had been at an all-time high, and nobody was saying anything about what was happening or why the atmosphere felt so charged.I hadn’t seen Giovanni all
ELAINE “Please, God, please don’t take him away from me…Don’t take my baby away from me…”Perched on the edge of the hospital bed, I felt the weight of exhaustion press down on me as I rocked back and forth, murmuring fervent prayers for my little boy.As I pray, I'm reminded of the saying: God doesn't give us more than we can handle. But that’s bullshit. Because there was no way I could handle the utter chaos my life had devolved into.Everything I touched or involved me seemed doomed to fail—from almost being kidnapped, Giovanni’s brewing trouble, and now my son. I was just so tired.I was tired of the constant cycle of trouble, which I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to outrun.Hands shaking, I reached out to touch him, my fingertips trailing gently across his forehead to the tip of his nose before I settled my hand between his shoulder blades. My heart ached as I leaned forward and gently kissed his soft cheek.“Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry,” I whispered, a lone tear falling. “I’m sor
GIOVANNIThe tiny clock on my desk chimed, indicating it was now 7 a.m.That meant that I was now up for fourteen full hours, but I hardly felt it. Partly because I was running on frustration and a healthy amount of whiskey.It seemed like, in the last few hours, I had spoken to every single person in Paris. Shaking anything shakeable in the hopes that some helpful information would drop out. But as if the universe was conspiring against me, I got absolutely nothing. On top of that, my father had been calling nonstop, obviously looking for answers that I didn’t have.I groaned and pulled at my hair in frustration. It stung, but I welcomed the pain. I probably looked awful right now, but I didn’t give a fuck.A sharp rap at the door shattered the tense calmness of my office, jolting me from my weary reverie. Irritation prickled at my senses; who dared disturb me at such an ungodly hour? I knew it wasn’t Stone. He’d been in and out of my office this morning—albeit with no answers of his
ELAINEIf someone had told me a year ago that this would be my life now, I would’ve laughed my head off. Back then, I wasn’t by any stretch of the word comfortable, but I was safe, and most importantly, I had my little boy.Now, I had neither safety nor Adrian, and it felt like my entire life had no meaning or purpose.The door to my room swung open, making me stand up from the bed. Mrs. Jacques, who’d been in the room with me, stood up, too.Giovanni, Billy, and Butch entered, and I waited with bated breath as they walked in, dreading what they were about to tell me.It’d been a particularly torturous few hours. I’d paced every inch of this room and cried what felt like buckets as I tried Lia’s phone over and over. But there was nothing. The call just kept going to voicemail.A gnawing sense of dread had settled deep within me, an ache that resonated throughout my entire being. It was a feeling I knew all too well—my body’s instinctive response to Adrian’s distress. I couldn’t ration
ELAINE“Hi, baby,” I greeted my son as Lia handed the phone to him.I’d been talking to Lia through FaceTime, and we were just through catching up. Now I was speaking to my son.He sat in the back seat of the car, dressed in his everyday clothes: a comfortable T-shirt featuring one of his beloved cartoon characters, SpongeBob SquarePants, paired with denim jeans speckled with patches that were no doubt from his adventures on the playground. Blue was right next to him. The blue dinosaur looked like he had acquired a few new wear marks since I last saw him.“I miss you so much, baby,” I told him.“You too, mama,” he answered. I had called right when they were on their way back from the grocery store.The sun had finally set on this utterly unbearable day, and so far, chatting with my son was the only bright spot.Security at the mansion had been at an all-time high, and nobody was saying anything about what was happening or why the atmosphere felt so charged.I hadn’t seen Giovanni all
GIOVANNIAfter what I witnessed today I was sure my already fucked up mind would get even more twisted. More damaged. Stone and I were en route to our cocaine depot, where our shipment had been hijacked.I gazed out the window, but it was all a blur. We’d just finished examining the exploded warehouse, and the scene would forever be etched into my mind.The warehouse lay in ruins, a hellish inferno that seared its image into my soul. The air reeked of scorched flesh. Amidst the charred debris, the twisted remains of my comrades lay, their bodies unrecognizable, consumed by flames that left nothing but grim reminders of my enemy’s brutality.The scene was a nightmare of charred rubble and billowing smoke, where the flames had ravaged with such ferocity that all traces of the building’s existence were destroyed. Only the ghostly outline of its foundation and scattered remnants of a roof and wall told the story that it was ever there. Among the devastation lay the remains of my comrades
ELAINESilence.That was all that was between us now. Just silence.We were in the car heading toward the mansion, and Giovanni hadn’t uttered as much as a word to me.That didn’t mean he was altogether quiet. Oh no, every five minutes or so, his phone would ring, and he’d pick it up, barking orders at whoever was on the other end.I had no idea what was happening because he had mostly spoken in Italian, and I wasn’t fluent in it. I caught a few words here and there, but it wasn’t enough to get the full picture of what was happening.Besides that, he never spoke to me, and it was starting to make me uneasy.I didn’t understand what was happening, but I knew it wasn’t good. His anger was practically radioactive as he sat beside me, and I didn’t know if I was unknowingly contributing to his bad mood.I couldn’t help but compare this Giovanni to the one last night who was so vulnerable, compassionate, and warm. He’d held me gently, stroked my face, and caressed me in a way a real lover w
GIOVANNIWhen I opened my eyes, the sun was on full blast, throwing warmth and light through the expansive hotel room.The entire room was in disarray, but that wasn’t what caught my attention.Still asleep with the white sheets barely covering her curvaceous body was Elaine. My arms were wrapped snugly around her as she slept without a care in the world.As I removed a lock of dark hair that’d fallen across her face, I realized that this was the first time I’d spent an entire night in her bed and woken up with her. It was my usual practice to leave right away or send her out.What’s more? This was also the first time that I’d slept without being plagued by the recurring nightmare that haunted my sleep. It was a nightmare stemming from one of the worst days of my childhood. The day that changed me completely and shaped the man I am today.I could still remember it like it was yesterday.Her pain-filled screams for mercy, the bang of the gun as the bullet was delivered straight into he
GIOVANNI“Nothing much. I’m trying to be there for you just like you’ve been there for me.”I’d been through a lot of dangerous shit and stared death down numerous times, but never in my life had one single sentence unnerved the hell out of me.My indecision and shock caused me to freeze as Elaine’s arms remained firmly wrapped around me.I looked at the smooth, creamy skin of her arms. For a second, I was tempted by the idea of accepting what she freely offered—to give into the vulnerability I was feeling deep down.But it was only for a second before I snapped out of it.Laughing, I drank some more whiskey.“Don’t be stupid, Elaine,” I told her as I tried to free myself from her hold.It was futile. She only tightened her arms. “I’m not letting go.”I let out a hiss at how unwaveringly stubborn she could be, but otherwise, I stopped trying to remove her.Silence descended between us, only our breaths punctuating the air.I took this quiet time to make some plans. I needed to contact
ELAINEWhen I opened my eyes again, all I felt was a dull ache in my head and the need to pee.I sat up and tried to take stock of my environment.Confusion quickly flooded me as I took in the empty bed and the rest of the dimly lit room.I tried to recall what had happened prior to waking up, but I was drawing blank and increasing the ache in my head.I squinted to try to make out any details about the room, but everything was unfamiliar.My gaze landed on what looked like a vanity. On top of it was something sparkly. Through the faint sliver of light from the sliding doors that seemed to lead to a balcony, I could make out the shape of the diamond pendant that Giovanni had given me.All at once, the memories came flooding back.Leaving Giovanni’s mansion, the party, the gun pressed to me as a man forced me into the Jeep and the accident.I gasped in fright as my hands immediately flew to my neck and wrists, feeling for bruises. In the insufficient light I couldn’t see anything. I co