The Voices Inside My Head
Being a mute used to be simple before all the craziness started. I just can't talk and that's who I am. Mum has learned to accept that and I guess so have I. Everything was just fine in my high school in Shanghai.
I had finally made it to year twelve and even though I was in China, I was actually being treated as a human being despite my disability. Things were definitely not perfect but I would give anything to go back to that, like it was before. I heard my first voice that year, right at the beginning of year 12. I didn’t really have any real friends, but I was used to it and before the voices started, I was fine with that. But it all changed when I first heard them.
The voices inside their heads started then and my life was never the same. They weren't just thinking about school or they girls or guys they were into, no they were thinking about doing things, doing horrible things to each other and I was the only one that knew how messed up they really were.
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Chapter: Chapter 18 The Dark VoiceI woke up to find a stack of books on my bedside. They were all about meditation so I opened one up to find sticky notes stuck in between chapters. I had been writing about meditation too, there was a notebook filled with notes on Buddhism and meditation but I couldn't remember writing it.So I started reading and couldn't stop. I read about spiritual, mindfulness and transendental meditation. I opened up my laptop and found that my YouTube account was filled with meditation videos and Buddhist stuff. So I started watching them. I watched them all day and continued this the following day. I read the books on my bedside and started meditation in on my bed. Soon I was writing more notes and taking less medication.I went on like this for months, meditating and studying Buddhism. I started to feel more relaxed and stopped taking my medication. I meditated every day and soon Mum was smiling at me when I ate dinner.She said, 'Wow, I'm really please
Last Updated: 2021-04-03
Chapter: Chapter 17 Punish the GuiltyAfter that, I became clearer and focused. The consequences were really bad but there was no stopping me. I couldn't go on hearing those voices so I had to do something about it. I had to punish them all. They were all sick, crazy, or just plain evil so they needed to stop, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was special and was given this gift for a reason. I had to get myself together first, prove to Mum I could go back to school, and not freak out. I started eating better again and I even exercised in the mornings. I did sit-ups and push-ups, right outside Mum's bedroom, so she could hear of course. After a few weeks, I was improving and on my way to starting my grand plan.Mum even told me, 'Wow, you are looking much healthier, I'm so proud of you for taking care of yourself!'I just nodded and continued my self-improvement act, just to get permission back to school.Later she told me, 'Now, we can't have something like that happeni
Last Updated: 2021-04-03
Chapter: Chapter 16 Number ManThe number man was the last voice I listened to before I took action. He was too much like me to ignore. He was arrested, the police came to our school and picked him up without too much resistance. After that, I put my plan in order. My plan to stop the voices and punish them for all their evil ways. I wasn't going to rush into it, I planned everything way better than all those crazy voices in my head. Though the number man was the worst of them all. He made it all clear.Before I start, I must warn you of my compulsive writing. My narrative will inevitably be interrupted by memorized mathematical equations, mostly of a trigonometric and algebraic nature. In fact, sometimes I just can’t stop writing numbers. Some people think being a genius is a blessing; in my case, it has been a curse and a sickness that drove me insane. A genius requires constant challenges and must maintain concentration at all times to stay stimulated. I became obsessed
Last Updated: 2021-04-03
Chapter: Chapter 15 Don't Say a WordNow, I knew about peer pressure at school, but the next voice that entered my head took it to another level. The things his friends did to him made me take action, finally. I was hooked on his thoughts because of my interest in Kung-fu. But that wasn't Kung-fu at all, that was just violence. His voice spoke to me and said:Everyone at school thought the Kung-fu Gang was a complete joke. Kids usually laughed as they walked past with their matching white headbands on. There were Chinese characters written on the middle of their headbands, I knew what they meant: Kung-fu! I thought they were so cool, but no one else did. The other kids often called them “Kung-fu Freaks” when they weren’t around. Theywere always together, and it seemed that whenever they passed me that they were walking in slow motion.The five-member gang didn’t care about popularity. They were way too focused to let anything that unimpor
Last Updated: 2021-04-03
Chapter: Chapter 14 Grans United The dark voice came to me and seemed to guide me up out of my bed like it was controlling me. It said:You must go to this boy and listen to his voice. He is young and pure yet he has still turned to wicked ways due to the horrible society he lives in. Read his thoughts and know his pain!So I found myself at school in the primary area again. There he was, writing in his diary. His voice sounded innocent but I found out he was far from it. I heard:Now I was never much of a soccer fan, being a girl and all but I wasn't completely clueless. I knew about the most famous team in the world, Man United, but every time I heard that name, saw the team on TV, or even saw someone wearing one of their Jerseys in the subway I'd think of my Grandma. The only reason for this is because when I was at school, she was a part of this crazy organization that all the kids called Grans United. Sure, it wasn't Man United, but it rhymed an
Last Updated: 2021-04-03
Chapter: Chapter 13 Mr PerfectBack at school, at least I thought I was at school, I noticed that kid that everyone was talking about. He was tall, cool and I heard he was good at everything. The teachers loved him and so did most of the girls. I watched him and saw a sadness in his eyes. Then his voice came to me:Everyone thinks I have it easy. They see me pass by and want to be me. I couldn’t blame them before I used to know why; I was perfect, at least everyone else thought so. Perfect hair, a perfect row of white teeth. Tall, fairly healthy and fit. My hair always seemed to be the envy of every kid in the school, both boys and girls. I was also the captain of the football team and we were on a twelve-game winning streak. Everyone on the team basically worshiped me and even the coach had this weird fascination with me. He’d message me on the phone and follow me around school like he was one of my friends.
Last Updated: 2021-04-03
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