Novels by Okaah lerato

The memorial had been short and sweet, i got to meet Asher's sister Ashlynn and her two brother Jack and Ryan. We all shared our grief through hugs and tears- there was a little bonding time tied into the end of the ceremony.Ashlynn's daughter looked so much like Asher it took almost everything for me not to walk away from the group, it hurt too much to even look at her.Raymond and i saw little of each other as the days passed, he was by the makeshift bar drinking some mixed up alcohol, he was taking shot for shot like a pro but i knew we just had different ways of absorbing and arranging our feelings.I grazed Asher's headstone with my fingertips instantly disliking the coolness, i wondered if Asher was cold and needed a blanket, i drove myself mad with scenerios, maybe she wasn't dead and was trying to claw her way up to the surface- back into our arms.Our? if there was even an us i think the secon

"Do you regret last night?" Asher stroked my thighs cradling me in her arms while Raymond snored half way in and half way out of the bed."No i dont, was i supposed to?""No but I-" Asher immediately started coughing rousing Raymond from his sleep when the cough refused to subside."Geez you didnt tell me you had a cold" i huffed patting her back with a slight frown on my face."Its not a cold love, something just lodged itslef in my throat" she wheezed still coughing."Well tell the thing not to wake us all up from sleep" Raymond yelped when i kicked him off the bed. "Yeah destroy the man who made you feel like goddesses last night ok?" i threw a pillow at his stupid face. idiot."You ok now? you've been acting really weird lately, are you fine?" my face didn't show my worry but my voice carried it."Yes i'm fine love i promise it was just

Asher, Raymond and I were at Club 99 drinking our lives away, our finals were finally over. Asher stuck to sparkling water which was odd but i was too tipsy to care, Raymond was drunkenly asking Asher to be his girlfriend which was comical."You guys know we need to be at Cherry's event tomorrow right?" Asher raised her brows."Who cares about that bitch?" Raymond slammed his hand on the bar top earning a glare from the bartender."Definitely not me" I slurred"Well is Jen coming? i mean you guys have been moving strong""I don't know, damn i forgot to ask her" I willed my hands to find my phone and not yank the nearest whiskey from the counter. I dailed her number but it went straight to voice mail, five tries later i left a drunken sweet message."Well did you get her?" Asher asked as she tried to stop Raymond from climbing over the bar."Nahhhh i guess she'

The months had passed quickly, six months since i started hanging out with jen. I wasn't as violent as i was before except when we were in bed, yes i know what it looked like but life got simpler with Jen around.I was happier, i wasn't in love but i liked her a lot, school was the same as ever, i didnt care how it went anymore, we were all gong to graduate it didnt matter when.I had started going to church again since we were still dishing out good news, it was... very trying. I felt cornered everyday but jen makes it get clearer.She was right on one thing, i did abandon God but i still didn't feel quite at home like i used to, i couldnt change who i was, picking a part of my religion that favoured my sexuality was hypocritical and not right yet here i was still handling it.Jen said i could do it so i believed i could, i knew i could get my footing again.Finals were coming up, the

My roller coaster ride began from there, when I looked myself in the mirror it didn’t matter what I saw or that I felt nothing, just a body I would think to myself, a body without a soul.The bars downtown had become my friend, I wasn’t much of a drinker- oh no! I was here for something else, something much better than alcohol, that would be sex.I thought it, felt it, needed it, craved it like a drug so I overdosed every time, the next time deeper than the last, the void just kept getting bigger, the more sex I had, the emptier I felt. I couldn’t help it, it was the only thing that didn’t change.The loud music irritated my eardrums but the view was kind, women in all shapes and sizes lurked around, I could feel some eyes on me, I knocked my drink back trying hard to keep my facial muscles in check.“That bad?” I blinked twice to clear my vision, focusing solely o

I didn’t know what time it was, I didn’t know where I was, I would be surprised if I even knew who I was.I smiled bitterly, oh heavens, was this revenge? Was this retribution? I leave to be happy and you take that happiness from me knowing I have nowhere else to go.Is this a power tussle? You know, the kind where you show me your almightiness and I bow in awe of your grace.I screamed silently at my reflection, all the bitch did was scream back, I punched the mirror over and over again not caring about the tiny fragments that lodged themselves deeper into my knuckles.I stared at the damaged wall in front of me, glass was everywhere, my blood unfortunately wasn’t, I walked through the glass carelessly, not satisfied with the blood that trailed behind me.I walked into my room, what was once soothing turned cold and dark, it was just a room, I couldn’t muster any courage to show shades at this small cocoon, I mean it was the only