A Broken Alpha

** Please note that some chapters may have triggers: strong language, adult scenes, sexual assault, rape, abuse, and homophobic slurs. Chapters will NOT be tagged. Please read with caution.

                              ****

Prologue 

Many years ago, life was very different for werewolves. Back then, the weak were either discarded, killed, beaten, raped, or used as sex slaves. Throughout the years, life has changed, but not everywhere. Some Alphas still hold tight to the ways of old. The way they were taught. Midnight Moon pack, located in Watton of Michigan's upper peninsula, is one of the largest packs in North America with over 1500 pack members, and they no longer cling to the old ways. 

Alpha Thaddeus has continued his father's legacy, trying to rid the world of Alphas who are still stuck in the old mindset and not only still keep slaves but rape, beat, and starve their Omegas. Thaddeus's father started this crusade, but unfortunately, he never got to see it through. Thaddeus became Alpha at the age of 17 when his father was killed. Everything was going well for Thaddeus until, one day, he was stabbed in the back. The silver blade pierced his spine, taking his mobility away and leaving him confined to a wheelchair.  

No one is sure why, but by some miracle, his wolf was not affected by the paralysis. Zeus still has full function of all four legs.

At 18, a werewolf's mating instincts activate, allowing them to identify their mate. Thaddeus, now 21, has still not found his mate…

                             ~

Third Person's POV

Thaddeus sighs as he closes his laptop. After stretching, the Alpha runs his hands down his face before adjusting his shirt, pulling it down where it rode up. The Alpha pushed back from his desk and frowned when he saw one of his legs had slipped off the footrest. Due to the loss of sensation in his legs, he wasn't aware of it slipping until now. It was a harsh reminder that he couldn't feel his legs or feet. 

Thaddeus grabbed his leg and lifted it, placing his foot back onto the footrest before strapping his leg in so it didn't slip off again. The last thing he wants is for his foot to slip off while wheeling forward. He would hate for his foot to get stuck in the wheels again, like last time. Getting yanked out of his chair and falling to the floor was quite an embarrassing moment for the Alpha. Especially when it happened in front of a large group of pack members; it made him feel weak and inadequate to be the Alpha.

Thaddeus groans when he looks at the time and realizes he's running behind.

“Fuck!” He whispers as he runs his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face before wheeling himself around the desk.

He knows he should probably head outside, but he wants to see Noah once more before he leaves and make sure he has everything he needs. He doesn't reach the elevator before feeling his Beta pushing against the link. The Alpha groans as he opens the link.

“Hey, where are you, man? We need to leave. We were supposed to leave 20 minutes ago. Come on, big guy!”

“I'll be there in a minute. I just want to say goodbye to Noah,” Thaddeus explained before closing the link. 

                                ~

Thaddeus hates the stupid Alpha conventions. At least last year, it was in Colorado. This year, it's in Florida. Florida is way too hot for the Alpha, especially this time of the year. He prefers the cooler temperatures of Michigan's upper peninsula. With Thaddeus' wheelchair secured in the back, Xander pulls away from the pack house, and the Alpha opens his laptop, hoping to kill some time and finish a little work. 

Thaddeus feels the moment they pass that invisible line, the boundary of their territory. The Alpha looks up and then in the side mirror, watching as they leave his territory. It's a strange feeling when you leave your territory. It’s an empty sensation that almost hurts and is felt as soon as you pass that invisible line. Everything smells different and feels foreign outside of his territory. It feels wrong, and you feel out of place. You feel home calling to you, tugging at that invisible tether you have to your territory, begging you to return. Thaddeus ignores the call of home and looks at Xander, who's staring straight ahead. The Alpha wonders how long this peace and quiet will last, and he's forced to listen to his Beta's dad jokes until he threatens to throw him out of the car. 

Unfortunately, it didn't take long. Only five minutes after leaving their territory, the Beta started talking. As soon as he opened his mouth, he never stopped. The words continued to flow like vomit. The Alpha growls, contemplating pushing the idiot out of the damn car.

Thaddeus has known Xander his whole life. They grew up together, and their parents were best friends. Xander's father was Thaddeus's father's Beta. When Thaddeus stepped up and took the title of Alpha, Xander became his Beta. 

Xander is 6’7, muscular with a light tan. He has a goofy personality, and he's the life of the party. He loves his dad jokes, and once he starts talking, he never stops. 

Marcus is Thaddeus's 3rd in command, his Commander. Marcus is 6’6, muscular, with light brown skin and dark dreadlocks that hang just past his shoulders. The Commander has gray eyes and a sharp jawline. 

Marcus is the polar opposite of Xander. Marcus is more on the serious side, level-headed, but has a big heart. He is very protective of his pack and those he loves. He's the strongest warrior and an expert in martial arts. These traits are why he's Thaddeus's 3rd in command and the Commander of his army.

Thaddeus sighed as he leaned his head back, hoping he wouldn't have to toss his Beta out of the airplane after they boarded. 

                                ~

Thaddeus looks around the room full of Alphas. He doesn't know whether to be thankful that it's just dinner today or disappointed. At least during the lectures, he has a reason not to socialize. It's not that he doesn't like the Alphas here. They're not all bad. But certain ones are cocky assholes that think they're better than everyone else here and are quick to try and point that out. Sir fuck around and find out, found out he wasn't all that within 5 minutes of running his mouth and had to be dragged out of the dining room unconscious.

“Man, why can't there be more women at these things?!” Xander said, his eyes scanning the room with a pout.

“So you can't infect their women with whatever's infected that appendage between your legs!” Thaddeus casually said before taking another bite.

Xander took a sharp breath and placed his hand over his chest, feigning hurt.

“I'll have you know, Xander Jr. has a clean bill of health!” Xander flashed his pearly whites at Thaddeus, and the Alpha groaned as he shook his head.

“I didn't need to know you named your dick!” The Alpha said, and Xander laughed.

“At least some of the staff here are females,” Xander said as a female waitress approached with a pitcher of water. The Beta flashed a smile at her, and he winked, causing the waitress to blush. The Alpha shook his head and looked away, thankful they weren't sharing a room.

“Xander, I swear that thing is going to fall off one of these days!” Thaddeus said, and Xander sucked in a sharp breath as he quickly looked down and began frantically feeling between his legs. 

“Nope! Jr’s still there!” The idiot said, and Thaddeus laughed.

                              ~

Thaddeus had just finished eating when he felt his wolf wake up and begin pacing in his head. He could feel Zeus was anxious, but the Alpha wasn't sure why. Zeus became more frantic, pressing against the walls that kept him in, desperately trying to break free. The Alpha focused on his wolf, trying to figure out what was wrong, but he could barely focus on his wolf's thoughts. The wolf was too frantic and only began to struggle harder. It felt as though he was clawing against his skull and howling.

‘Knock it off, Zeus!’ Thaddeus scolded his wolf and began rubbing his head, trying to ease the throbbing pain.

Unfortunately, Zeus ignored him, so Thaddeus began looking around to figure out what was bothering his wolf. 

Thaddeus’ eyes scanned the room. As his head turned toward the door, a scent rushed up his nose, and Thaddeus’s heart began racing in his chest. He felt as though he couldn't move. That amazing scent he'd been waiting to smell—he was finally smelling it—the scent of his mate. 

Thaddeus's heart pounds in his chest as he scans the people entering the room, trying to figure out which one is his mate. He couldn't believe this moment was finally here. The Alpha was so excited, but that excitement disappeared the moment he made eye contact with his mate.

Thaddeus saw the shock in his mate's eyes before anger filled the man's face. It wasn't a look the Alpha expected to see. The man's jaw clenched, his muscles twitched, and his hands fisted so tight blood dripped from them. 

The Alpha backed his wheelchair away from the table, wanting to go to his mate. But before he could move forward, the man suddenly stormed away, walking through the large dining room and out the back door, leaving Thaddeus in shock. The Alpha's heart tightened as he wheeled himself out the door after his mate. Thaddeus needed to know what was going on and why his mate was acting this way. 

Once Thaddeus was outside, he found his mate pacing back and forth while mumbling to himself. Thaddeus moved closer, but when he approached his mate, he finally stopped and turned to face him. Thaddeus ignored the glare and took a moment to take in his mate’s features. He desperately wanted to touch him, hold him, but he could tell that was the last thing his mate wanted. Thaddeus searched his face, trying to figure out what was wrong, trying to ignore what his heart was already telling him was wrong.

“What's wro-” Thaddeus' words were quickly cut off when his mate finally spoke over him.

“This must be some sick fucking joke!... I mean, you're a man! I'm not fucking gay! I like women, not men!” He spat.

“I like pussy, not dick!” He paused, his eyes taking in Thaddeus. His eyes move over his body until they land on his wheelchair, and he scuffs.

“And look at you,” he motioned toward Thaddeus' wheelchair. “You can't even walk! You're in a fucking wheelchair, how pathetic is that!” His face contorted in disgust as he looked at Thaddeus.

“What the fuck did I do to deserve a pathetic mate who can't even fucking walk?! This is complete bullshit! If she was going to give me a fucking fagot as a mate, at least she could have given me one who wasn't so useless, and his legs fucking worked! How the fuck can you even be an Alpha when your dumbass is stuck in a damn wheelchair?”

Thaddeus was numb. It was hard to breathe, and his chest ached. This wasn't what he was expecting at all. 

“I mean, what the fuck! This is bullshit!” He yelled and then paced a few steps before quickly spinning around. His face took on an even darker expression.

“Boy, the Moon Goddess sure hates me. First, I don't get the Alpha position, nooo! That was given to my pathetic brother, and now I'm stuck being his fucking Beta! As if that wasn't enough, I'm not only mated to a fagot but one in a fucking wheelchair!... Just fucking great!” He yelled, throwing his arms out to the side before dropping them, letting his hands slap against his sides.

Thaddeus's mate continues his rant, leaving Thaddeus feeling disconnected from his body. It felt as though he was watching the scene unfold from above. It felt like a horrible nightmare, and the Alpha desperately wanted to wake up. 

Thaddeus blinked his eyes when he felt a finger poking his chest and realized his mate was leaning over him, yelling. His finger poked at him as he spewed unimaginable words, words no mate should ever say to the other. 

Thaddeus snapped out of it when he felt a sharp pain on the side of his face as it jerked to the right. If it had been anyone else, Thaddeus would have reached up and snapped his neck for laying a hand on him… but it wasn't just anyone… It was his mate. There wasn't a single cell in Thaddeus's body that would allow him to hurt the person in front of him, even though he deserved it. 

While holding his jaw, Thaddeus slowly turned his head, looking at his mate in shock. The sound of laughter rang out as his mate laughed at his surprised face. His laughter came to an abrupt stop.

“I’ll never stay mated to a man!” he yelled before his fist flew forward, connecting with Thaddeus’ face. Thaddeus didn’t even try to block the hit he saw coming. The Alpha's head snapped to the side, and Thaddeus felt his lip split, and the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth. 

His mate throws another punch, which connects with his stomach. The blows keep coming. Thaddeus feels each hit, feeling the bruises and welts form on his stomach. The Alpha grunts when the next blow connects with his ribs. The blow wasn't hard enough to break his ribs, but he knows they'll be bruised. Thaddeus feels the physical pain from each hit, but it's nothing compared to the pain of his heart breaking. 

The Alpha didn't do anything to stop the assault. He couldn't bring himself to react. He figured if his mate felt he needed to hit him, then he would let him. 

However, this had the opposite effect on his mate, and he became angrier.

“Fight back!... Fight back, you fucking fagot!” He yelled. His chest heaved as the anger rolled off of him in waves. 

Thaddeus wipes the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand before looking at his mate.

“No! I won't hit you. You're my mate!”

This only enraged his mate even more, and he screamed as he kicked Thaddeus in the chest. The blow to his chest was strong enough that it knocked Thaddeus backward and out of his wheelchair. It knocked the wind from his lungs, and he lay on the ground, holding his chest as he coughed, trying to fill his lungs.

Thaddeus's mate stood before him, angrily glaring at him. He took several deep breaths before walking toward Thaddeus. His angry mate stopped next to him and looked down at the Alpha for a moment.

“What's your name?” He asked through gritted teeth.

Thaddeus' stomach dropped. He knew why his mate was asking for his name, and it hurt even more. He felt his world crumbling, and his wolf whimpered as he lowered his head, defeated. Thaddeus lay there for a moment, looking at his mate. He could feel tears filling his eyes as they burned, but the Alpha refused to let them fall. Thaddeus turned his head and spit out blood before looking at his mate again.

“Alpha Thaddeus Anderson.” Thaddeus's throat felt dry when he gave his mate the information to do what he didn’t want him to do.

His mate spoke the words coldly. Thaddeus could hear his voice but not the words. He didn't even hear his name or his pack. Maybe it was for the best. His mate's voice became muffled and farther away as Thaddeus went numb. 

“I, Jackson Morris, Beta of the Blood Moon pack, reject you, Alpha Thaddeus Anderson, as my mate!”

Thaddeus snapped out of it the moment he felt the intense pain in his chest as the tether to his mate broke. The pain of the mate bond breaking was excruciating. Thaddeus’s eyes squeezed closed, and he gripped his chest. It felt like a knife pierced his heart before twisting. Each breath burned. The pain radiated through his chest as it became harder to breathe. The Alpha knew if he had been standing, it would have brought him to his knees. The Alpha grits his teeth and grunts but refuses to cry or scream. 

It took Thaddeus a few moments to catch his breath, and when he did, he looked up at his mate and wasn't the least bit surprised to see no remorse. He looked just as cold as ever. 

“I, Alpha Thaddeus Anderson, accept your rejection.” 

Thaddeus wasn't sure if his mate was expecting him to accept his rejection because his eyes widened in shock as he spoke. After the last word left Thaddeus' lips, his mate's eyes slammed closed as he grabbed his chest and dropped to his knees. He cried out as he fell forward, reaching out and catching himself with his left hand while his right hand clutched his chest. 

Thaddeus could see sweat beads on his forehead and could see him struggling to breathe. He heard the painful cry and looked down. 

It took a few moments before the man could finally catch his breath. With weak legs, the man stood, and Thaddeus looked up. The man shook his head as if shaking something off and then, without another word, turned and walked away…

That was the last time Thaddeus saw him. He never saw him at the convention again, but then again, Thaddeus did leave early. The pain Thaddeus was experiencing each night as his body went through withdrawals from the loss of the bond became too much. Each day that passed, the Alpha became weaker. It was best to go home and recover in peace.