All Chapters of She Was The Queen: Chapter 21 - Chapter 30

She was coming back. She had to be.And she did after a while.Roman walked in with white duct tape. Her fingers taunt at one end of it, the stickiness taking dirt from her nails. She was smug as she strode in.It was her fault she didn't have a room, so she couldn't come in here and make demands."You think you can fix this relationship with duct tape?" I laughed."Maybe I might kiss you if you shut up."I laughed harder. Roman climbed the bed with her dirty feet."Wash your feet first," I complained."Are you commanding me?"She scrunched up her nose as she stood next to my head. I looked up at her and nodded with a serious face."As if," she laughed and the sound of the tape stabbed my ears when she pulled a long reel of it.I watched her both in mild frustration and amusement.Why was she like this?Why didn't obey me or at least listen to me? She was still below me yet she was also my significant other."What are you doing?" I asked.She started pasting the end of the reel to the

After her confession, I felt like a shell. I left for a glass of water but found the living room so deliciously empty I sat in there, watching the dark TV for hours.I hated pretending and putting up in front of perfection.When she first arrived, I hoped she would be the only person I wouldn’t need to pretend to. She was to be a blank slate, a chance for someone to know me from scratch without the history and prequel. I had an opportunity to make an impression and I blew it. She could see the cracks in my personality—the inconsistencies. I couldn’t help it. I took my pills after the battle. I too could feel I acted rash and incredibly inconsistent. I couldn’t imagine how it felt to encounter me, imagine being attached to me.How silly it was of me to convince myself I didn't need the pills anymore. I guess I didn't need them when I had no one too close to me, as close as she was getting. But I could see the effect I had on her. The way my words and behaviour would confuse her or drain

Walter and I went indoors. The nun lady offered us some hot chocolate and we drank it in the kitchen. Her name was Emelda and she was so sweet my teeth hurt.I could see Khai from here, reading a story to 10 to 15 children seated on the mat before him in the living room. He was so animated, doing the voices and everything. I tried not to stare.“Can I be honest with you?” I asked Walter.Walter faced me and nodded. I was afraid he’d tell Khai everything. Khai could force it out of him but I needed someone to talk to.I hesitated. His eyes were true and curious. He was the best option. I hardly saw him around so I hoped that would be advantageous. Hopefully, he wouldn't be around enough for Khai to pry.“This whole mate thing, it’s confusing. I hardly know him but I feel like I can trust him. I want him but I’m also afraid of him. Do you get that?”“That’s how it is at first. Humans call it love at first sight. You see someone and instantly know you love them then you get to know them

When we got home the house was dark. Everyone had gone to sleep. We tiptoed poorly through the house, giggling like teenagers who'd snuck out right under mommy and daddy's noses. Roman bumped her elbow against the corner of the counter and hissed in pain. I covered my mouth and I laughed at her."It's not funny," she whispered."It is," I laughed.The stairs seemed to creak louder than they'd ever creaked in their lives. Each step the wood yawned and stretched.In the room she went to the bathroom and put on a night dress. I wore my own pyjamas and she came out of the bathroom in my mother's old night dress."You look like someone's grandmother," I said."Glad I'm unattractive to you Khai," she said with a mischievous grin and sat on her side of the bed.She began tying her hair up and I watched her merticulously. How she held and picked up each lock into the velvet hair tie. She had her back to me so I could just stare. The night dress was big so when her arms were raised the sleeves

"I like this dress, maybe you will look good in it too."I looked up from biting my lips, at Yolanda who held a floral dress to her body."It's short, it's still winter," I said mindlessly.I wasn't paying attention.It didn't make sense now did it? How I could be so close to Khai yet so distant? We slept in the same room yet I'd get butterflies thinking of what to say next."Oh come on, winter will be over in a month or so, you even said it,” she said walking to me from the other side of the clothing rack."I don't know." I shook my head.We were at a large shopping mall uptown, in an independent clothing store called Flora's. I had suggested we get in here but I couldn't focus. All that presented itself before my eyes was Khai's body - a shirt shifting off his body before bed, then he'd slip on his navy blue pyjama shirt and smirk at me, and read a book as I fell asleep. His scent remained in my nose though he was miles away at home. I could still smell him, craved him like a vice. I