I stood in the middle of the park in my light dress. I was exhausted. Not from any physical work, not from having fought a battle, not from work, not even from the stress of having to train two twin playful kids, but from having to think every moment of my life. Think of James, think of Justin, and think of how to shuffle my entire life around all these occurrences. In my deep subconscious mind, I wanted to just exist, to float out of reality, into a world only I and I alone could comprehend and understand. To be fair, she didn’t think I wanted to understand it at all. I didn’t need to. As far as it got me away from this toxic life I was living. But running away was out of the option. I had responsibilities and I was not ready to drop them. The reality was different from whatever fantasy she had been imagining in her head and from whatever illusion I so desperately needed to live in.“Mummy, can we play on the swing? " said Aiden, and I was pulled away from my thoughts. "Yes baby, of
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