CHRISTIANShe nodded, and her eyes sparkled with sincerity. "I know it might sound strange," she says, "but sometimes a stranger can be the best comfort. You don't have to worry about anything with me. I'm just here to listen and help if I can."I look at her for a long moment, taking in the genuine kindness in her eyes. And suddenly, I find myself nodding. "Okay," I say. "I'll take you up on that offer." I agree way too easily for comfort. Before I can reel and take the words back she smiles at me, and the tension in my chest begins to ease.I’m aware I didn’t ask for her name, though we forgot about that and kept about other things, light topics. She asked if I wanted to talk about my wife and I replied with no. I don’t think I want to talk about Irina with anyone, definitely not a woman I was considering banging. The feeling of guilt whenever I let basic weakness, need, take over has never left. Not after the many years she has been gone. I always feel like I’m betraying her. The
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