Chapter 9: IT Ends

Billie pov

I lay on my bed, unable to sleep after everything that had happened. A slow smile crept across my face as I remembered our drive home.

The drive with Nate and Ann was something I hadn’t expected from the new guy. He seemed genuinely kind and, of course, jovial. He had volunteered to drive us home and borrowed his brother's car, who had come to visit him. Nate had been ranting non-stop for what felt like an hour, which put Ann on edge. She hated how he was trying to be nice, even though she resented him; after all, she had been in the same position as him. But after he saved me from Blake, she had formed a good impression of him.

“Hey, girls, aren’t you some item?” he joked as he turned onto the bumpy road.

Ann smirked. I hardly ever saw her smirk, but I noticed it now as she shot an angry look at Nate. “What do you mean by 'an item'?” she asked, her voice sharper than usual.

“I mean, you act like her sister even though you’re not, while her sister acts like her rival. You know I’m jealous of your friendship,” he chuckled.

Ann smiled at this revelation, and I could tell she was pleased by what he said.

“I bet I and my sisters are like that but it's just that she wouldn't go to the length Blake went, she is a fierce troublemaker you could name it. She once liked a stick in between her ex's trousers to get at him for breaking up with her, you know angry”

I beamed. In between her ex-bum. How ridiculous. Ann rolled her eyes.

“Yes we could tell you people are a bunch of weirdos if you would ask me, how you swept your brother out of his car and drove us, you are unbelievable,” Ann said. Nate smiled.

I only did that for you Billie” he said. Ann and I exchange a look. For me?

Ann tilted her head. “And what does that mean Mr Nate”

He looked through the mirror ahead of his head and I couldn't help but take in his beautiful well well-set blue eyes like the ocean, it was small striking blue, and perfect, the eyes could lure many girls in just by looking at him. I avert my eyes.

“You know Billie you are just like my sister. Young, sweet, and also vulnerable so just looking at you, I see my sister and I ….”

Before he could finish. Ann took the rein before I could.

“What the hell did you mean?” She yelled. “How did she look like your sister, she isn't someone to go around poking a fork or a stick in between her boyfriend's anus because he dumped her. Billie isn't like that and don't you pity her for you to help us”

Nate glanced at the back at her.” that isn't what I meant. I didn't pity her I just wanted to help her in my own will”

“Oh that explains it, Mr good Man,” Ann said.

“Stop it,” I said. “It’s okay.”

“I just want to help her because I feel like it. I wanted to be her friend. I’m not like the other guys; I mean it,” he said, sincerity shining in his eyes.

Ann’s shoulders relaxed a little. I could tell she couldn’t stand the thought of anyone bad-mouthing or belittling me. I was grateful to have her by my side. It felt so good to have her support.

I turned in bed, an uneasy feeling creeping over me as I glanced at my laptop. I had been trying to ignore it, but I couldn't anymore. I needed to find out for myself. If it was true, I wanted to face it. I climbed out of bed, walked over to my laptop, and sat at the table. I opened it, clicked on Chrome, and entered the website. A message popped up immediately.

“Hey, angel.”

I wanted to reply with a "hi" back, but I remembered what John had told me. It was just a prank, although I didn’t believe it at the time. Now, I felt compelled to respond. I had always wanted someone to love me for who I am. When I first received the letter, I was happy that someone cared for me. I was even happier to read it in front of my mom, dad, and Blake. But it all turned out wrong.

I know I deserve better, but I don't want that anymore. I want whoever is sending me this letter to come forward; they shouldn't be ashamed, just like the guys who have come forward for Blake. They shouldn’t hide in the shadows. I don’t want pity. I want to be loved for who I am. I believe this MN is real, but I need to let him know. It’s high time I had confidence in myself and loved myself more than before.

In truth, I had never admitted to loving my figure; I had just accepted it. But now, I want to embrace my body, my birthmark, and everything about me.

“I’m sorry, MN,” I addressed him directly. “I think I’m going to stop chatting with you. I need some time for myself. If you do like me and want to know me, then come forward and stop hiding in the shadows. I appreciate everything you’ve said and done, but it’s time I put faith in myself. I don’t want this brief relationship anymore, but I'm sorry; we have to stop. I have to do this for myself; it’s the only way I can build my self-acceptance. I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

I sent the message, not expecting a reply. But then, a message popped up. It was a smiley emoji and a brief note at the bottom.

“It’s okay, angel. I am very proud of you. Don’t worry about facing this on your own because I am always watching over you. Best of luck.”

And that was it. I couldn’t believe I had just typed all that. I had finally said it. I sighed as I looked at the message one last time, then logged out, deleted the website address from my recent tabs, shut down my laptop, and went to bed.

This was it. I closed my eyes. Even though it was hard, I had a few people who would help me through it. Ann was there for me, and maybe… I slowly thought of his name: Nate. I hoped he would be someone I could rely on.