The List

6 Months Later

Sitting, I laugh. The slight feeling of being tipsy makes me happy.

"He's a grumpy nut!" Bex pushes me so hard that I almost fall off the stool.

"Maybe, but he's my grumpy nut!" I laugh and stand, and she pouts at me, sulking. "I'm going. I want to be with Jake when the new year begins. He wasn't feeling great." Hugging her, I walk home.

"Ruby, Ruby, Ruby!" I groan and stop at the door turning Ivy dances to me. "I'm glad you're here! I lost my keys."

Laughing at her, I unlock the door. "You didn't lose them, Ivy. You never do. They are always inside where you left them." I walk in and go to the side, picking up the keys. I rattle them at her. "See."

Laughing, she nods. Walking to the kitchen, I grab a drink and go upstairs, my head shaking at the fact she forgot her keys again. I had told her just before we left, get your keys. Laughing, I push the door open and freeze.

"Jake!" I stand shocked and sickened. He turns slightly and looks at me.

"Is this her?" The woman who is naked and currently wrapped around him laughs, and Jake chuckles.

"Get the fuck out!" Screaming, I throw my bag at him.

"Calm it, Ruby!" Jake screams at me. I watch the woman grab her clothes and rush out.

"How the fuck could you?" Screaming, I take off a shoe and throw it at him.

"Because you're boring! God, woman, you're soo damn stiff." His words are screamed into my face as he laughs. "You were a means to an end, I wanted my inheritance, and you helped me to get it!"

My body freezes. "Did you ever actually like me?" Was this all a way to get the money?

"Yes! Then I got bored, but I could see my dad thought this was the real deal. He seemed to think you were fixing me, so I played for a bit until he signed my money over. You can't complain; you got to date and fuck me. Someone every woman wants." My hand swings, and I punch him.

"Screw you!" I fight back the tears and push him away from me.

"No thanks, there's more action in a board game. Want some advice? Stop being a prude." He turns and storms out. My body falls to the floor. Over a year he used me for over a year to get fucking money?

"Ruby." Turning, I look at Ivy and fight back the tears. "Fuck him. He's the sort who will die alone. With money, but no fucker will be there." She moves and hugs me.

"God, I'm a fucking fool! What's wrong with me?" Sitting, I cry, and her arms stay wrapped around me, trying to comfort me.

It's been a month since I saw Jake with that woman. I spend it hiding away. Other than studying, I don't leave. I know everyone is talking. Jake's latest bit I caught him with has made it known why he walked.

Everyone knows, and everyone is talking about me like I'm a nun.

"Do something!" Bex shouts at me.

"Like what?" Nothing I do will bring Jake back.

"Prove the asshole wrong, get people talking about you and how much you do. Write a sex list."

I laugh at her words.

"What the hell is a sex list?"

Rolling her eyes at me, she laughs. "It's a list of things you need to do or try. It revolves mostly around sex. Things like visiting a sex shop, having a one-night stand, and making a sex video. There are loads. Prove you're not what he says." She turns and walks out.

It could be fun, and right now, I have nothing to lose—not when everyone says I'm a nun. I grab a pen and notebook and sit. My eyes look over the blank paper.

My mind comes up blank as I sit and consider.

Visit a sex shop

Watch porn

Use a sex toy

Kiss a random guy

Kiss a woman

Take pole dancing lessons

Do a sexy photoshoot

Dance at an adult club

Buy sexy lingerie

Have a threesome

Visit a sex club

I keep going, and by the time I'm finished, the list is two pages long. Looking through it, I decided that I should get started. I need to do something.

Grabbing the laptop, I open it and load up a porn site. This seems like a good starting place.

This is out of my element. Scrolling through, I stop at a video. I watch it, and shaking my head, I quickly close that video. That was too much too soon. Clicking on another, I begin watching it. I'm astounded—she looks like she's enjoying it a hell of a lot. So why don't I feel pleasure like that?

I lose myself in the video, soon finding myself watching more after it, and the night disappears. Some of the videos do really make me feel like a prude.