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Cuts and bleeds.
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2024-10-29 19:42:56When you think that you’ve had enough… that life can’t get any more worse then it just throws a big rock at you… one that might crush even the little hope that you have been holding onto. That’s life. It will never leave you alone until you learn the lesson… until you learn to endure, accept, let go and move on. In case if you ever try to just run away without dealing with your problems. It will catch up to you eventually. I read this somewhere, and that is one of the things that resonated with me at that time ‘If you never heal from what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you.’
The next morning I drove to my office thinking whether I should go send Vian and Jay off to LA or should I just pretend that I didn’t care. Thinking that I will not be able to see them for a month didn’t sit well with me. God, what happened to me? I was ok for seven years without meeting them but here I am whining to myself not being able to see them for just a month.OnRelated chapters
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I was sitting on a brown couch in a living room. I looked around and recognized that it was our old house. The one where my mom, dad, and I lived together before he left us… before I moved to live with my grandma and my mom moved to London. I heard my mom’s stifled cries from the kitchen. She was hiding from me and trying so hard not to make a sound by pressing her lips against a table cloth. It was the day my dad left us. It has been just a few hours since he drove away in his car picking up his things. Once he was gone I came back inside and sat on the couch where we used to sit together and watch a movie as a family on Saturday nights. I didn’t cry that day… at least not for a while… not exactly for the reason I should cry for but tears kept rolling down my cheeks as I listened to my mom’s cries. It didn’t hurt thinking that my dad left us… at least not for a while maybe since I was too young to understand what it means for us or it was just too soon becau
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It was a fine day in New York. The sun shone brightly and the sky was clear as my mind was. I felt like nature represented my mood that day. I drove my car to my office listening to Ed Sheeran’s bad habits on the radio. I couldn’t stop myself from mouthing the lyrics and humming to the melody as I listened to the song. I was even bouncing on my car seat when I stopped in traffic waiting for the light to turn green. I was thinking about Vian all the way… about our conversation the previous day. Somehow with just a few words, he managed to melt down all my worries and doubts. If you have someone in your life who influences you but does not manipulate you, support you but not try to carry you, scold you for your mistakes but doesn’t judge you, fight with you all the time but never hates you, gives you hope rather being disappointed at your wrongs, Loves you with all of their heart and gives you every ounce of it even when you don’t deserve it, then you are the l
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I was at my office reviewing the sketches that were made by our graphic designers for the new game that we were preparing to launch. Usually, I just review the work and show the green light to proceed with the project. But this time I got involved in the process as I am a graphic designer myself and created a character for the game but of course, I had a lot of help from the team since it has been so long. Now that everything was set, I was revising the final result to proceed further when my phone rang showing Vian’s name on it. My lips curved upwards into a smile unknowingly as soon as I saw his name. It has been a week since they left for LA. Vian and Jay, both of them have been texting me now and then but we didn’t really talk much about anything since they were so busy. “Hello stranger,” I greeted him picking up the call in joy. “Hello to you too sweetheart. You sound cheery.” He replied reciprocating the glee. I could feel the butterflies on my
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“Hi, my name is Elena and you are Ava, right?” The girl standing outside my door introduced herself and the fact that she already knew me surprised me. She held out her hand for a shake, and I could see that she was visibly uneasy about something. She looked beautiful with her auburn hair and brown eyes. She was almost my height and wore a dress with a floral pattern. Her legs on the floor were constantly moving, showing that she was indeed anxious “Uh… yeah but sorry do I know you?” I asked her politely, looking confused. I was sure that I had never met her before. “No, you don’t. I am sorry. I am a friend of Jay.” She said. “Oh, wow. Please come on in.” I invited her in and offered her something to drink from the mini-fridge that was in the hotel room. For a while, the room fell into silence. I wasn’t sure what to say to a stranger because I didn’t know why she came to my room but I gave her some time to make up her mind
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We both came back to the hotel riding a taxi. The ride was quiet, and I didn’t dare to say anything to him but I wanted to make him understand somehow that it was just a friendly visit. As soon as we arrived at the hotel, paying the driver, Vian just strode towards his room without even glancing at me. It was almost dawn and the first light started to shade the world blue. Vian entered his room without closing the door behind him, thankfully. I guess he was expecting me to follow him inside. He removed his t-shirt in one swift movement showing his toned body and then he went to the bathroom kicking off his jeans, wearing his shorts. I turned around a bit, not to be indecent, watching him changing clothes but I just couldn’t help it. When he came out, he went to the bed and lied down pulling up the duvet over him like I wasn’t even standing there. I stood there for several minutes just staring at him, and my mind thought it was the right time to comment how ho
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Three more weeks ran past me so quickly. Everything I did or thought is like a blurry image if I try to remember it. Vian hasn’t talked to me since our fight that night even after I attempted to call him numerous times. I was ready to apologize, and I understood why he was angry but he was just so stubborn. I didn’t talk to Ryan either, but that was more of my choice. I was surprised that night by his confession, and I left the room without saying anything because I had none. I just couldn’t say anything, so I left his home early morning by myself without saying goodbye. It all felt really familiar with everything that happened in the past although everything was different in a way. D5 was coming back to New York that day. I was thinking about going to the airport to receive them although I knew it was impossible with all the fans waiting for them at the entrance. They will be all over the social media, and
You are my FLAME What are we?
I loved Vian with all of my heart. I knew it the moment I saw him. I used to think that his soul called for me, making me move in with my grandma so that I could be with him. It might sound a little cheesy but I thought it was poetic. Even after everything we have been through, I never once doubted that he was not the one for me. But foolishly, I tried to deny it, tried to forget it and I even tried to run away from it but every time I did something to be away from him it only brought me a step closer to him. Every time I think that we can never get closer than that, fate had a surprise for me. So when I saw a man with a gun pointing the muzzle at Vian. I felt that my heart might stop at any moment. My brain was firing with all kinds of ideas… all kinds of possibilities but particularly one of them plastered in my mind making me lose my sanity. It was just a thought. ‘What if that man pulled the trigger?’ ‘What if Vian got hurt?’ ‘What if… what if he was dead
You are my FLAME Wrong timing.
Finally! Vian and I are all set to depart to the old town the next day to meet my grandma. She was so excited when I told her that I was bringing Vian with me although she felt bad that Jay couldn't join us. I asked Jay to join us as well thinking that it might be a good idea to finally reveal what was going on between me and Vian but he refused, giving me some excuse. It was weird but I didn't force him.Time could have never moved slower than it did on those two weeks. It felt like an eternity and I have never been so eager to be done with the day.During those two weeks, things weren't that good between Vian and me. He kept himself too busy with his album works and on top of that, the shoot for our film had started a couple of days after he came back to New York. I was busy with the launch work of our new game and t
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I blinked a few times to adjust my vision and then I screamed noticing the person who helped me.“Jay!” I hugged him tightly in excitement without believing my eyes. I was relieved that at least Jay was there beside me even though my dad and brother couldn’t make it.“Do you think we would let you get married without dad walking you to the aisle?” I looked around hearing Damon behind me. Willie, Damon, and Dev walked towards me in their black suits and I couldn’t help but get overwhelmed watching them. Since the moment they have taken off the blindfold, it all felt like a dream.“I thought you guys aren’t gonna be there.” I wept like a crazy girl hugging my dad and my brother in elation. Weirdly, even when I was happy beyond words tears kept rolling down my cheeks.“Baby girl, you haven’t said anything about my masterpiece,” Dev said running his hands over my dress. I was surprised an
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I was taking an evening walk with Vian towards our high school in the old town. The sun shone brightly on the western sky just before setting like it was ready to give the stage to the moon and the stars. We were walking in silence immersed in our thoughts.A day before, Vian suddenly barged into my office with Damon and took me with him hauling me away from my office without saying anything about where he was taking me and leaving Damon in charge of the company like he owned it.I was busy for the past two weeks, and I couldn’t even properly text Vian on those days. I was trying to finish a deal with a Chinese company that was interested in investing in our company. If I get that deal successfully then, I needn’t worry about paying Ryan’s dad’s debt in a year. With Vian and Jay’s help, I could pay him off within 6 months.I tried my best to refuse Vian and Jay’s help but they somehow convinced me. Jay told me that he was payi
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“Seriously? You are still wearing that?” Vian questioned with a very upset look in his eyes. “I… I forgot about it.” I said feeling guilty and defenseless. “You forgot about it?” he asked me in a mocking tone. “It’s YOUR finger and YOU are wearing it.” He pressed the words pointing at my hand. “How could you forget something like that and it’s been two days,” Vian said with a menacing look. He was right, and I have nothing to say to that but I wasn’t going to stand there looking all guilty and go down without an argument. “Well, you were with me on those two days, why didn’t you say anything about it? You must have seen it at least once. You should have told me something before proposing to me.” I yelled back. It was the most absurd thing that came out of my mouth. “Oh, I am sorry I didn’t notice the ring in your finger because my concentration was elsewhere in your body,” he growled back without thinking. It took him a second to realize what
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Two days. Vian and I ignored this world for two days without giving a fuck about anything and lived off only eating takeouts with little sleep and lots of sex. We didn’t pick up any of the calls we received on our phones. In fact, we forgot where we kept them. Sometimes in the middle of the night or in the early morning and sometimes, at late noon we hear them ringing but completely ignored it just for the fun of it.I used to worry about others than myself usually. If it was some other time I would have thought about how Willie and Damon would be worried without hearing from me for two days and on top of that I didn’t even tell them where I was going. To be honest I didn’t know where I was going when I walked out of my house.But the whole world faded away when I was with Vian those two days. I was madly, irrevocably in love
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I am not sure if I did justice to Vian and Ava's love in this chapter but I do hope you guys enjoy reading it............................................................................“You did. But… You… My name’s written there… striking Ryan’s name… is this what I think it is?” he asked me.“Yes,” I said firmly. I was nervous about what he would say after everything happened.“But… But why? Last night you said… you said…” he tried to say something, but he couldn’t as he was hit with lots of emotions remembering last night’s events.“I am sorry,” I said as my voice croaked remembering the night… remembering how I hurt him with my words.“Why? What happened? What’s changed?” he bombarded me with questions as he was surprised by my change of heart suddenly.“I know wh
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“Elena!” I was hit with surprise and confusion at the same time.“Your dad let me in.” She said with an awkward smile as she walked in and took a seat beside me on the bed.“I am really surprised to see you here,” I said hoping that she would understand the real meaning of my question. I wanted to know why she came to meet me.But she remained silent thinking about something, fidgeting her fingers. “Do you want anything to drink or something?” I asked her but she politely refused.“I heard you got engaged. Congratulations!” she said with a small smile. It didn’t feel like she was actually wishing me, though.“Thank you.” I said smi
You are my FLAME Let's start again.
Darkness.That was the only thing I could think of when I came to my senses. I have been awake since an hour ago or so, but I stayed in my bed without opening my eyes.Darkness. Sometimes it’s not just something that you only see when you close your eyes or in other words that you can’t see anything in the absence of light but you could also feel it when there is no light in your life.I kept my eyes closed to see the darkness clearly so that I didn’t have to feel it. It awaits just behind the veil of my closed eyelids to engulf me as a whole.I will have to open my eyes anytime soon and let it swallow me but I prolonged the inevitable just by staying in bed with my eyes closed, feeling content as my mind made up an illusion of peace.
You are my FLAME Vian.
Vian’s journal. Dear diary, I am gonna tell you a story about a stupid boy who sacrificed his love twice for his friends. To him, they both mean the world, and he would do anything for them even if it meant hurting himself. I was just a cheeky, naïve little boy when Jay and Ava came into my life. They both loved me regardless of who I was and cared for me like I am their family. In life, nothing can be quite precious in this world as your ideas and experiences to share with someone. Nothing can be more magnanimous than being an inspiration to someone. On that note, I know I must always be grateful to Jay who inspired me with his dreams and ambitions when I was just wandering around in life, and Ava who made me run towards my dreams. To someone who doesn’t know who his mother was and has a father who travels a lot rather spending time with his son, Jay and Ava were the dad and mom to me. Over the years, Jay bec
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Jay’s Journal. Dear diary, It’s so hard for me to see Vian and Ava like this. I cannot watch them being in pain, hurting each other. Everything was my fault. If only I hadn’t fallen in love… with her, with my Ava, I could have prevented years of pain for the three of us. Yes, I am in love with Ava, and I have been for quite a while. I don’t exactly remember when I started to grow feelings for her, but I remember the times when I enjoyed her company so much. I crack jokes just to watch her laugh and I tease and annoy her to see her cute pouts. I thought it was just friendship for a while but then I realized I didn’t want to lose her to someone when I lost my mom. She always took care of me and loved me more than my family. I’ve always enjoyed the way she treated me special than others… than Vian. I guess I was just too late to realize that. When we moved to London, I started noticing certain changes with Ava and also V
