Chapter 5

We looked over to find Reed leaning against the doorway, Mia was nowhere in sight.

"Mia went to get the limo," Reed said as if reading my mind, his mouth lifted in a grin at one corner.

"But if you don't need it right now, please let me know. I would be happy to let you use the room in the back. Lizzie, I think you know where it is. I seem to recall finding you and Master Jordan in there about three years ago."

I jumped away from them quickly and hurriedly straightened my dress as I ducked my head as the embarrassment warmed my face. I silently cursed my skin which made the redness so obvious. You would think after the last three years in this club there would be little left that could embarrass me. But this situation was like being caught with your pants down in the back of your father's car. At that thought, my father's voice suddenly started ringing in my ears unsolicited.

"You're a slut, Elizabeth. A whore just like your mother," his voice slurred drunkenly and was angrily nasty.

If the words weren't bad enough, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a strong smell of whiskey. Instantly my stomach churned, and I had to slap a hand over my mouth in an effort not to be sick. I pulled even further away from the men and began taking slow, steady breaths to stave off the agonizing feelings as well as the panic attack I felt coming on again.

"Lizzie?" Jack inquired quietly.

I turned to him and found his perceptive gaze boring into me. I knew if I spent any amount of time with him that I may soon come to either be grateful for such insightfulness or hate it with a passion.

"Yes," I croaked, then cleared my voice knowing I wouldn't be able to fool him unless I tried harder than that.

"Yes, I'm fine I think I'm just tired. I am still recovering from being sick. Jordan was right earlier I should not have come here tonight. I just don't like the idea of other woman clinging on him like they do when I'm not around and-"

I broke off as I tried to catch my breath again from the nonsensical babble that was spewing from my mouth. I strained to concentrate on the other sounds of the room to find some way to ignore the sense of dirtiness and panic beginning to wash over me as the sound of my father's voice became more insistent in my head. No matter how many breaths I took or how much I tried to tune into the conversation that Jordan and Reed were having, it was not helping. My vision started to cloud once again, and I felt myself slip back into the darkness.

"ELIZABETH!" Jack snapped as he gripped my shoulders and shook me slightly.

My eyes flew open before I had even realized they were closed and locked with Jack's. No one had ever called me Elizabeth except my parents, which normally was a sore spot, but for some reason when he called me that it helped snap me out of the dark hole I was falling into.

"Breathe with me, honey," he whispered as he leaned his head against mine.

He breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth several times as I struggled to match his rhythm. I stared into his eyes and allowed myself to relax bit by bit, despite my head's warning that I barely knew him. My body seemed to recognize that I could trust him. So, I did something crazy and allowed myself to be swept away in him. I found myself relaxing and breathing calmly.

"Good girl," Jack whispered.

He wrapped his arms around me and urged me to lay my head on his chest. The steady strong beats of his heart soon gave mine a rhythm to match. We stood pressed together for a moment and I felt a sense of peace come over me as if he were the missing piece to the puzzle. That scared me more than anything in the world.

If I screwed this up by being too tired or displeasing both of them would risk losing not only one Master, but two. With so much to lose, the thought of submitting to them seemed daunting.

"How long have you been having panic attacks, baby?" Jack whispered into my ear, bringing me out of my nasty thoughts.

I pulled away and shook my head, unsure of what else to do since I was not ready to discuss my past with anyone.

I looked up at Jack with pleading eyes, silently asking him to understand why I couldn't tell him yet. I saw shadows dim his eyes, but he just shook his head and pulled completely away leaving me feeling more alone than ever. I looked to Jordan for help or understanding but instead, all I got was a shake of his head.

"Go, Mia's waiting to take you home," Jordan said, disappointment evident in his eyes as well.

Pain shot into my heart at knowing I had disappointed him. I began to feel panicky again, so I quickly began walking out the door.

"Lizzie," Jordan called.

I turned around to see both men staring at me, their arms crossed over their chest in exactly the same stance.

"Yes?" I said softly, not sure if I wanted to hear what he was going to say.

"We will discuss the events of tonight in full detail later. This is not an escape. It is a momentary truce," Jack finished for him.

"You make it sound like a battle," I said, my throat felt so raw that it came out as barely a whisper.

Their smiles turned virile, and I saw a light flash in Jack's eyes as Jordan winked at me.

"Oh, it is, sub. And just to let you know we have never lost a battle," Jordan said warningly.

I just looked at them while I let their words soak in. They still wanted me after everything. I had to fight the joy that began to rise in me with a large stick of reality. I could not think of any way for this to work.

When no answers presented themselves to me, I ran like the hounds of hell were on my heels not stopping or slowing until I all but jumped into the limo that was waiting for me. I slammed the door shut still feeling as if they were going to reach in to grab me and drag me back inside, where I would be tied up and ravished. I felt a shiver of pleasure go down my spine at that picture.

One could only hope, came a stray thought rattling around in my head. I sighed, hating the mess that my thoughts were in, and stared down at my feet. A sound of distress burst from my lips as I realized I had left my shoes in the library.

"Oh, hell. Those were my favorite shoes, damn it!"

I cursed and slammed my hand against the seat in agitation. There was no way I was going back in for them because I knew there was no way the men would let me leave again. Damn it, this night had not gone the way it was supposed to.

Damn it.