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HER SECRET 21
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Cursing himself because his life was getting more complicated every minute and because he’d been remembering how good her lithe body had felt next to his without realizing the memory had him smiling like a damn fool, he headed for the ladder.‘I was just admiring how good you look, getting one last eyeful before you fall off that ladder and kill yourself,’ he called up to her. ‘Don’t you have a lick of common sense?’Each time he was around Sierra, his emotions heightened. Despite his expertise in blocking out disturbing feelings, when it came to her he always felt too much.Reaching the ladder’s base and bracing it, he called up to her again. ‘Sierra, what the blazes are you doing up there?’As she looked down, he saw the strand of multicolored lights in her hand, and he glanced briefly at the pile of boxes stacked on the front porch. At first he’d thought they contained trash, but now he noticed a plastic snowman peeping over the rim of one. Glory! Christmas decorations. More holida
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‘I don’t think that’s what you really want,’ she accused. She feared he was right, that it was too late for them. But to have something as precious as this . . . she refused to believe there couldn’t be a way.With his shirt hanging open, he stepped into his briefs. ‘To tell you the truth, darlin’, I don’t know what I want, and I can’t see any point in dragging you into all that.’He looked down on her, lying on her side across the bed, her skin flushed and shimmering from their lovemaking. He loved the shape of her body, the ruddy hue of her skin. Fresh passion stirred in his loins.Bending down, he pulled the sheet over her nakedness. ‘I feel something with you I’ve never felt with anyone else,’ he confessed. ‘But you deserve better than me, you always have, and we’ve both always known it. Isn’t that why you were crying the last time? That’s why I didn’t want this to happen again.’She caught hold of his arm. ‘Matthew, I wasn’t crying because I regretted what we’d done.’‘I saw your
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‘Sometimes I just feel things. Don’t you ever wake up in the morning and know it’s gonna be a good day or a bad day?’‘No. I’m always surprised.’She shook her head. Matt studied his sister’s face. Beneath the forced brightness, her face was laced by dark lines of fatigue. This was the first evening he could remember that she hadn’t gone back to the hospital.‘Don’t take it so lightly. That’s the trouble with you. You see signs and ignore them. The morning of Jerry’s accident, I woke up dreamin’ I answered the phone and it was the hospital callin’ to say he’d been hurt. All day I tried to shake it off, you know, disregard it as nonsense like you’re doin’. Then that evenin’ it really happened. I kept hopin’ I’d wake up again and find I was still dreamin’.’He set a hand on her shoulder. She flashed him a strained smile.‘Ma was right about there bein’ some things in life that control us and we can’t do nothin’ about them. But I keep thinkin’ if I’d believed, made Jerry stay home . . .’
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‘After you left, I never really saw Sierra around town until her baby was several months old. Odd, that Ben’s family was so hot to announce their son’s engagement in the newspaper yet never sent in their grandson’s birth announcement.’‘Maybe you just missed reading the paper one day. Leeann, that boy is not my son. I would never have run off if he were. I never wanted kids, but I’m not that much of a coward that I would have abandoned Sierra and let another man pretend to be my kid’s father.’‘I don’t believe you would have, either. Maybe she just neglected to tell you so you wouldn’t interfere with her marrying Ben. How can you be so sure?’‘Sierra would never have lied to me about that.’‘After all she’s done to you, you trust her so much? Why did she marry Ben so quick? Maybe she used your baby to get Ben to marry her. Some women do things like that.’‘Not Sierra. She was young and beautiful and smart and rich. She didn’t have to trick anyone into marrying her.’‘If you’re so sure
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With her hair at such an awkward length, she hadn’t been able to do much with it. After extensive experiments, she’d shaped a mass of curls at the top, allowing them to frame her face. She couldn’t help remembering how she’d once worn her hair, flowing long and free down her back. Matt had always loved it that way. He used to delight in running his hands through her tresses. But Ben had preferred the more sophisticated look of a shorter haircut. She had decided to let her hair grow out again.She couldn’t help wondering if she hadn’t made a terrible mistake, telling Matt she loved him. But pretending she didn’t was too hard. Let him go if he must, but this time he’d know exactly what he was walking away from.She heard rustling behind the curtain, teachers’ hushed voices, and she knew the young actors were taking their places for the opening scene. By now, she thought she knew every movement, every lineby heart. Turning again, she scanned the back of the auditorium, hoping to catch M
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‘Yeah.’‘I’ll bet they’re kids who didn’t have parts in the play.’Will nodded. ‘I’ve been trying to ignore them like Mom says, but it’s getting tiresome. And when I ignore them, they do it more.’‘Sometimes you’ve got to hold your ground and not walk away.’Will nodded soberly. Matt clasped the boy’s slim shoulder. ‘See you later,’ he said.‘Bye, Matt. Will you be here after the show?’‘Sure.’Walking back through the hallways. Matt pondered Leeann’s charge that Will could be his son. Damn her for planting the suggestion in his mind. As usual, his- sister was over reacting to a series of innocent coincidences. But Matt had to admit, he’d found himself looking at the boy a little harder. Because he’d never considered siring a child, he’d never contemplated what his offspring might be like.In some aspects, Leeann’s notion wasn’t as farfetched as it first sounded. The boy had affected Matt’s demeanor, his walk. But Matt attributed that to the kid’s impressionable age and the fact that
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Dylan pressed it into his hand anyway. ‘Take it just in case. You do know what to do with it, don’t you?’‘Course I do. Just can’t imagine some girl I barely know wantin’ to do it with me.’Dylan laughed. ‘Boy, don’t you know you’ve been blessed with the kind of good looks drives girls mad? Now me. I’ve got to get by on charm and wit, but all you’ve gotta do is wink at ’em. Ma even seen it, that’s why she’d always carryin’ on about you being born with the rising sun and that crap. Daddy hates it that he accidentally gave ya somethin’ better than what he ever had. A couple years from now, you’re going to have your pick of women. I bet you could even have one of those snotty rich bitches from up in the hills rubbin’ all over you.’‘Come on, Dylan. I ain’t plannin’ on spendin’ my whole life chasin’ women who think they’re better than everybody else. Or chasin’ women, period.’Dylan shrugged. ‘Have you ever even kissed a girl?’‘Sure.’‘Just wonderin’. Look, what you do is your business,
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Sam broke into a grin. ‘You’re not holdin’ up here on my account, are you?’‘Don’t get a swelled head over it,’ Matt joshed. ‘I’ve got some other business to take care of. And it’s not like I’m staying forever.’‘You could, you know. This is your home.’‘Sam, about your will . . .’‘I’m not changin’ it. And I’m not goin’ to tolerate any more arguin’. Don’t you think it’s about time you got a break? You deserve your own hunk of land. If you wanna hang around, that’s one thing, but don’t spend your time hasslin’ me about my will.’‘I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I know what you’re trying to do.’‘Well, ya do belong here. And don’t be so sure you can read my mind. Maybe I’m just doin’ this to ease my conscience about all the trouble I caused you and your ma. I don’t have any inclination to squabble about it.’Matt chuckled. ‘Sorry. Sam, you’re the only person besides my ma who’s ever done anything for me. I guess I really don’t know what I should do.’‘Humph. Just say thanks and be do
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