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If Only
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2025-02-19 02:00:05I looked at my brother for a long time. Unsure of what to say. It really never crossed my mind that my leaving would take such a toll on him. I always thought it was better that I left. There was nothing for me at Blue Crescent. The last thing I wanted was to get in Jared’s way. He was taking over for Uncle and I didn’t want anything to do with that. Leaving made sense back then.
‘You didn’t even discuss it with them though. You just up and left. You didn’t even talk to them for a month until you had already enrolled and were in classes.’
Sighing, I shook my head. “It was never because of you. I just felt like an extra. I was always in the way. Here and back at Uncles. Always. I just thought it would be better to remove myself from everything. It had nothing to do with running from you. I was…running from everything within the packs.”
I continued after a breath. “I’m an Alpha. J
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This was a conversation I did not want to be apart of. Hell, I didn’t even deserve to be in the room. I didn’t care that I was to keep the charade up that maybe I was going to be Damian’s pick for Beta. In this room right now were some of the most influential people in the pack. I did not belong.‘Stand up straight. You aren’t here as a Penn. You are here as a Herne.’ Onan snapped at me.“Who do you suppose we throw out there, Cal? Hm? Just give the pack a bunch of names? Let them decide?” Maddox was rolling his eyes but there was an irritation to him that normally wasn’t there.“The pack is getting restless. They don’t know what the future holds. I think it’s time we show them what the future looks like. What the next generation looks like so they feel secure in the pack’s future.”Brittany scoffed. “Oh? You think any
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I stared at my brother. He was smiling up at me with his cheesy grin. His face didn’t show anything other than thinking it was funny to say something like that. Turning on my heel, I threw the door open and headed down the hall.“Cas! Wait!”Jogging down the steps, I turned and glared up at my brother who was still smiling at the top. “That’s not funny, Damian. It’s not a fucking joke.”“Who said I am joking?”I threw my hands out. “You are Alpha. You! I told you time and time again that I did not want to be Alpha. That I was not cut out to be Alpha. I left because I didn’t want to be Alpha.”Damian sighed. “No. You left because you didn’t want the pack to fight over who should be Alpha. Not that you didn’t want to be Alpha.”“It’s the same fucking thing!”“No, it’s not.”
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I looked at my brother for a long time. Unsure of what to say. It really never crossed my mind that my leaving would take such a toll on him. I always thought it was better that I left. There was nothing for me at Blue Crescent. The last thing I wanted was to get in Jared’s way. He was taking over for Uncle and I didn’t want anything to do with that. Leaving made sense back then.‘You didn’t even discuss it with them though. You just up and left. You didn’t even talk to them for a month until you had already enrolled and were in classes.’Sighing, I shook my head. “It was never because of you. I just felt like an extra. I was always in the way. Here and back at Uncles. Always. I just thought it would be better to remove myself from everything. It had nothing to do with running from you. I was…running from everything within the packs.”I continued after a breath. “I’m an Alpha. J
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