*Ana* “Can you touch it?” I look behind me but see nothing. I look beside me and see nothing. Touch what? There’s nothing around me. And why is he looking at my hair? No. It couldn’t be. I look behind me again. Of course, there is nothing. That leaves me. But that sounds absurd. He doesn't want to touch that, does he? I look back at him to see if he is kidding. But he is just waiting for an answer. Does he want to touch my hair? I am struck dumb and mute in an instant. I almost feel myself falling in my chair. It's that hard to believe. Aside from Maddie, there is someone willing- no, they WANT to touch my hair? “Are you sure?” The concept seems just so unworldly. “Yes, please. If I may?” Pendrick looks pink in the face now. I thought he would cool down by now. Perhaps he has already had too much sun? Maybe it’s gotten to his head? I think with a touch of my hair. Is that why he is saying such strange things? I must assume so, but I don’t find the idea appalling. If he on
*Maddie* “Ana,” Maddie called again but quickly saw it wouldn’t work better than the first hundred times she tried. It seemed nothing could stir the girl. “Ah,” Maddie sighed as she squatted down to the floor. Ana was crouched just a short feet away from her under the vanity table. Maddie could see her back turned toward her as if to hide her face. “Ah,” Maddie let out another soft sigh. She felt frustrated. Ana wasn’t responding to anything. And she didn’t know what to do. Something must have happened out there. Maddie could gather that much. Maddie found that when the two returned, Ana was different. She seemed shaken, and her hair was a mess. It was sticking this way and that. And it wasn’t just her hair. Ana’s clothes look disheveled as if there was some fight. And her eyes were glossy from crying. She was certainly not the same girl that had left the palace. Maddie could agree. Something must have happened. And it must have been something terrible. Because she couldn’t
*Ana* This shawl is magic! It’s the only way I can describe it. Otherwise, I don’t know. Could I say it’s witchcraft? That Maddie is a powerful witch in disguise this entire time? No, that would be too silly. I could never entertain such a childish notion. But I will say this. That there is something special about it. Behind the obvious flash of red and gold, there is something I can not see but can feel. Maddie's new shawl seems to harbor some power within it. Since putting it on, I have not had a single incident. I still get the customary stare, but it’s more to do with me suddenly wearing it. Otherwise, I’ve had no issues. No one has brought it up. Both the whispers and nasty looks have stopped. Dare I even say, when I catch them in a stare, it’s different. Almost as if they are disappointed. That or they have nothing to talk about anymore. Even Mykhol keeps quiet. It seems to have also created some effect on him. I pause from my reading to look up. It is now past
*Ana* Am I the only one who thinks like this? That it’s just me, who wants to see each other? I can’t seem to shake off Mykhol’s words. They haunt me. But I can’t help it. I keep finding myself going back to them. What if it is true? The question shakes me. I don’t want it to be as I look up at the sun. For once, let things go my way. I plead to the sun. Because I want to see it; I want to see a circus. I’ve even read about them from the library. I know enough that I can already imagine it. There will be clowns with painted faces. I start as if I can see it right in front of me. They are smiling as they ride little bikes and jump over one another. It would be loud, right? Of course- What with the tigers roaring and as the tigers would elephants tooting before they stand on their hind legs like in the pictures. And the bears- “The bears…” I now think of Nicoli. But when I see him, he is back in his room. The tacky yellow and blue walls seem to lean and make the space feel
*Ana* I don’t think we’ve had such a cold day like this before. If we did, I don’t remember. But it is. It’s cold, dark, and windy outside. It’s so windy that I can hear it howl against the window. It sounds angry and upset that we dare keep it outside. But of course we do. And Maddie is doing her best to keep it that way. Thanks to her, the room is toasty. She has made a good fire and has been diligently keeping it stocked. I do not have to fear the cold today since she works so hard. “Ah?” I look up from my book at the sudden sound. I see the fire has swallowed up another log. It cracks and snaps as the flames run through it, and I watch it momentarily. But soon enough, my eyes wander again. I found myself turning to find Mykhol. Mykhol is on his couch. He has another book in his hand, but he seems to be reading it this time. I look at the title. It’s a military book. I have to cringe a little at that. It’s one of the few subjects I am not so fond of reading. But outside of
*Mykhol* If anyone were to walk into the room right now, they would quickly learn something was wrong. There was a tense mood in the air. Each person expressed their anxiety in their way. Uncle sat at his desk, crossing his arms. His brow was down to make his already small eyes almost invisible. And Aunt Funda, meanwhile, paced the floor. Her heels clicked as she traversed the same circle around the desk. Mykhol was no exception. He, too, was anxious as much as they were. But he chose to handle it differently. Instead of panicking open, like them, Mykhol went to the window. He took one look at his parents before looking through the glass. “What are we going to do!?” Aunt Funda threw up her hands. Her voice was desperate enough to make Uncle break his silence. “This was not what I expected,” Uncle confessed. “I thought her last visit ended with disaster. That should have been the end of it.” Uncle mulled and touched his brows. “Why is the King still sending letters? Ev
*Ana* I have to remember to breathe. I need to calm myself otherwise, I won't make the trip. It’s a week’s ride until we get to Dawny. I should conserve myself. I know better. But I can’t seem to manage it. I am too emotional: nervous yet excited. Even now, I am having trouble sitting still. But I will try. If not for my sake, for everyone else. I can’t believe this is happening! I only manage a moment before I find myself moving again. I kicked up my legs with a burst of energy. They flop back on the bench with a loud slap before I do it again. So much for sitting still. I can’t help but feel a little foolish. I know I should be behaving better. But it’s so damn challenging. I feel so happy. I could dance right now, even with everyone here. I give another kick to hear them slap the bench. But without the slap, no one would know I was kicking. My legs disappear underneath the many layers of my new dress. I’ve never worn something so thick and heavy before. It’s made of w
*Ana* "Will you look at that!?" It’s Maddie’s sudden voice that breaks my thoughts. I see her sitting up and leaning into the window. Her face suddenly lights up, and she turns to me, breathless. “Oh, Ana!” She starts, and I can feel her joy. “Look out the window- Look how many came to see you, your Empress!” Maddie takes my hand and gives it a shake of excitement. I haven’t seen her this excited since getting the invite. She is overjoyed. “What is it?” I venture to appease her. I lean in, and Maddie scoots over to allow my hoop skirt room. I nearly fell back at the sight. “So many.” I blink, honestly confused. “Why are there so many?” “They’re all here for you.” Maddie chirps. Her smile widens. “Everyone is excited to see you, your Empress!” “To gawk at the spectacle, you mean,” Mykhol looks out the window, but his face is flat. Even seeing all the people lined up, he does not look impressed. “Now.” Maddie huffs and narrows her eyes at him. Her smile waned a little as
*Ana*“It will take some time, but as long as we keep an open communication,” I pause on habit, turning crimson eyes from the map, half expecting to find the Bulgeon chief either dozing off or distracted. Thanks to my less-than-lustrous experiences in court, creating a low bar for many. However, instead of finding the king of pirates inattentive, I am met with an unwavering gaze of chocolate brown eyes. Amul smiles at me from across the table, bronze-calloused hands folded over the other, still in the same pose he first took when we began three hours ago. He tilts his head, shifting beads of bone to clink against the metal chains, before lifting his bushy eyebrows as if expectant, unaware of anything but just following along.“Open communication?” Amul prompts. “You were saying, Empress?” “I-yes,” I come back to it with a slight laugh. “Sorry, I- it’s not often I have someone listen without interruptions. And for this long,”. “They speak when you speak?” Amul’s brown lips dip down
*Hidi*“Mama!” Hidi exclaimed in billowing steam before digging heels to clack against the limestone pathway. The yellow sigil of Almony on the carriage's black door stuck out like a beacon of hope against the ashen skies ripe with snow. The door swung out seamlessly just in time for Hidi to reach out for her hand. Intending to help her mother down. But the elder blond slapped her hand away with a stinging clap, insistent on getting down on her own. Even now, refusing to give her daughter even the smallest admittance to her declining age.Instead, Bratha rose to her staggering height of eight feet on thick but confident legs before reeling back her lips to pinch her nose as if shocked by a horrible odor.“I forgot how much sand stinks.” She grumbled. Hidi had to giggle.“Mama, be kind.” Hidi looped her arm into her mother's as the servants bobbed their redheads, faces ruddy from waiting in the cold, to make for her luggage. Which, Hidi noted, was not much. Mama does not mean to sta
*Ana*“Am I… “ I blink, gobsmacked, as my mind can not quite process what I just heard. That, or maybe fight it? The sheer audacity that anyone would even think to ask such a question, let alone someone ask me, is unthinkable.“Am…I?” I try again before Amul nods, his brownish-black eyes glinting with amusement and interest, before spreading his beard thin to betray a toothy grin.“Are you a virgin?” Amul repeats slowly but clearly. As if he thought I might not have heard him correctly the first time, before tilting his head to one side quizzically and shifting a sun-bleached dreadlock off his shoulder.“I asked if you have laid with another man before.” “I…?”The words squeaked out of my chattering teeth before stalling on my tongue, again in disbelief that this was happening.But it is. Amul just asked me if I am a…I look back at him, wide-eyed and not sure how to even start to react to such an off-putting question.Should I be angry? Upset? Disgusted? I don’t know. Or maybe this wa
*Ana*At least…everyone is quick to assemble on short notice. I shiver as another gust of wind blows over us, making even me flinch, and pull up my cloak, before stealing a glance back.On the platform, wrapped up tightly in thick cloaks, Aunt Funda and Uncle Charles miserably stand together against the cold on the left side. Underneath the cloak’s hems, I can spy the hint of blue of the matching gown sets I had ordered made for them. Something Aunt Funda insists is too plain, what with not having jewels sewn in or metallic threads used. But Sir Celbest is always quick to remind her of the budget restraints. Or threaten her that she won’t get any new gowns. Something which seems always to make her grow quiet again. Which is quite impressive on its own, but that just proves Sir Celbest making a good treasurer.Better than Uncle, even. I think with a look over to the crowd and find them both together. Both of them, Pendwick and his maternal grandfather, Sir Celbest, stand in the front
*Naska*“She…turned him down?” Lady Funda was still processing between disbelief and joy at the news, but it didn’t take long before her lips lifted to show a fanged smile. With a smile, Naska was quick to pick up.“Oh, yes. She turned him down, alright.” Naska repeated. “It’s a pity you couldn’t have been there to see it with your own eyes.” Naska went on, and Funda laughed, clearly taken in by the thought.“It would have been grand if I could,” Funda admitted. “To see her, shoot him down like that.” She chuckled again, touching her rings, before turning with a smile.” My, good work, Naska. You’ve done wonderfully.” “I have, haven’t I?” Naska beamed, pleased beyond measure how quickly her work was being praised. But of course, Naska knew she would be.Maybe, Lady Funda will give me another of her pretty necklaces again? She hoped so, reminded of the necklace Lady Funda had just given her the other day. Lady Funda liked her so much more now. Her affection was clear by all the gifts
*Ana*“A confession?” What could Pendwick possibly have to confess to me? I must say, it is quite a surprise to hear, coming from him, of all people.Pendwick is the most forthcoming person I know. He may be shy in his words, yes, but he is candid with me. So, it’s quite a surprise to hear we had secrets between us.Though, he did mention something like this before, didn’t he? Back in the garden the other morning? Perhaps this is referring to that?“Pendwick? What is this confession?” I curiously look down at our hands, his cupping over mine, before looking back up. “Have you..done something?”“Done..?” Pendwick flinches, his hands slightly shaking over mine a moment, but takes in a shaky breath, before calming down. “It’s.. not something I wanted to do.” Pendwick lowers his eyes then. “Not intentionally.”Not intentionally he says? “Then, Pendwick, what is it?” I press because now I am starting to feel my stomach tighten, a bit confused. What could he be confessing about? And… what
*ana*“Bruno, I would have thought you, out of everyone, would have liked this idea.” But clearly, I am wrong. And, instead of excitement like I thought, I now have a 14-year-old boy, brooding at me. Bruno’s overgrown dusty red bangs cover his eyes, making it hard to see where he is looking, let alone what kind of expression he’s making now.“What’s so wrong with a dance?” I ask him. “Tell me, why don’t you like it?”“Because…it’s foreign.” Bruno goes off, shaking his head as if that is a good enough reason. But I can’t help but frown all over again.“I know it is. But just because it’s foreign, doesn’t mean we can’t do it.” “Why?” Burno only shoots back, blowing his bangs out of his face with a huff. “It’s enough for me. It’s a silly idea.”“Silly? Oh, Bruno.” I have to smirk at that. “Well, I thought it was something to help liven the party a bit. Something practical in terms.” I answer at last. “I mean, most of us know a dance or two.” “I don’t.” Bruno corrects flatly. “That…ye
*Sir Pendwick*He’s going to be mad. Pendwick didn’t even need to bother pretending. The instant he opened his mouth, he knew what he did. No one overspoke the head of the Celbest family.But I did. Worse, Ana even went with his idea. No, this would not be overlooked, and, inwardly, Pendwick sighed.It’s better if I get it over with now than later. He knew and turned.“Your Empress,” Pendwick started. “I will join you in a moment. I…just have to speak with my grandfather, first.” “Of course,” Ana, unaware of Pendwick's problems, easily replied. Her voice was sweet and soft like always to him. Even in this turmoil, Pendwick could not help but admire her eyes, so beautiful and clear, as she regarded him like a thousand times before.How much I wish I could just fall into them and stay there. Pendwick looked on, longingly, cheeks warming a little. But just as he wished it, he knew he couldn’t stall. He had to go and go he would.“Yes,” Pendwick nodded just before Hidi started.“Well
*Ana*“Hidi,” I go, but Hidi simply smiles back at me, the damage already done.“It will fit.” Hidi turns back to overlook the procession of more crates. Her newest ‘gifts’ of ‘decor’ are looming in multiple boxes. Just looking at the boxes now, I’m afraid to even ask what they are.“Hidi,” I sigh again, “I thought I made it clear that I wanted this to be a manageable party.” “Oh, Ana,” Hidi tsks. “You must make it big. This is your first real party since the coronation, and that was a decade ago.”“It was 9 years, Hidi.” I correct, “Not ten.” but Hidi rolls her eyes.“Worse than that,” Hidi shakes her head, “ You know it too. Come, Ana, I know these things. You must impress the other nobility and royals coming. My Mama alone will have opinions.”“Your-her majesty is coming?” I raise a brow at the news. “She will attend this time?”“It’s nothing major.” Hidi goes off-handedly. “Mama is curious about how things have been.”“But Hidi,” I pout a little, finding the revelation not small