*Ana* Ultimately, the paper's decision came down to two options. But this did not help make things easier between us. We seem to remain divided. A standoff has been in place for the better of half of the afternoon, running to the early hours of the evening. Though, I can’t see why we need to fight. It’s only paper. It is Maddie who refuses to see reason. But I think I should clarify my choice first. I am not particular. I just want a simple cream tone- no flushes or flutes. Just as it should be. I want simple paper. Maddie, however, is dead set on using this strong rosy pink paper. A decision she will not budge on. But as the day progresses, I feel no win to this fight. My resolve for simplicity is waning to her stubbornness. And overall, this whole argument has gone on for too long as how ridiculous it is. I don’t think I’ve ever had to fight with someone over something so trivial before. Because it is, it’s nothing. It's only paper. I must sigh. Honestly… But Maddie will m
*Ana* It's not long before I have my reply. It takes a week before I find the letter from Dawny, sealed and delivered. Aunt Funda delivers it again on the standard silver tray. Though, there is a distinctly disgruntled look on her face, more so than usual, when she does. Enough so that I am beginning to wonder if something is wrong with her. Why do I get the impression that she is bothered by these letters? But I don’t dwell on the thought long as it doesn’t make sense. Since Aunt Funda barely pays attention, let alone cares about what I usually do. Outside of these being for diplomatic reasons, Aunt Funda has no reason to be overjoyed or upset over anything of mine. They are just letters. So I quickly dismiss my thoughts as just being overactive. “You may go, Aunt Funda. “ I wave to her as she has done her job. But to my lite surprise, she doesn’t move immediately. Instead, she stands where she is and stares at the letter like a cat to a bird. Did she not hear me? I feel i
*Ana* We will have Nicoli's next response by the next week. Again, Maddie and I find a need to hold in a laugh as we see another example of poor writing. But at least, this time, it’s easier to understand. I think he put in more effort this time to make it legible. “Learning is such a chore. And the lessons are so boring. “Nicoli complains in the letter. “It may be someone insufferable, little brother, as you are still young. But it will be worth your future to stay consistent. “I write back. Again, another of Nicoli’s letters soon follows in the coming week. “Are you sure about that, Ana? I think that could take forever. My brain is going to rot by then. “ Nicoli writes. “It will not, Nicoli. By learning, the brain feeds on books. “I have to counter. “I’d rather play and learn swords. “Nicoli writes. “You still can, but after lessons. You must wait. “I write back. “You wait! I’m running away to join the circus. I’ll work on the trapeze and teach the bear how to dance" Nic
*Ana* Truth be told, I do not have much to say about my cousin as I do not know him. In the score of four years, I have only met him once. And that was when I first arrived in Nocthen, and I was not in the best state of mind to remember things (as I was crying, yelling, and acting childish). So what I do know is what I have gathered from the bits and pieces Aunt Funda and Uncle have told me. Cousin Mykhol is fourteen years old to my seven- making an age difference of seven years between us. And he has, for the better part of the four years I’ve been here, been attending the famed military academy of Nochten this whole time. That alone is a fantastic feat, as this is no ordinary academy. Established by Nochten’s first emperor- it is said to make anyone who attends a great leader. And only those of nobility and wealth can attend. Save unless you are a girl. Not even my mother, an Empress, was allowed in. So this only makes me look forward to Mykhol’s return this winter break. Asi
*Ana* “Oh…“ I barely manage to utter as I feel myself freeze on the spot. I only watch the maid continue to pull the doll out. Mykhol takes it from her to push into my free arm. I numbly feel the doll's long red wavy hair cascading over my arm. What is this? Unable to speak, I can only look back at the teen. My eyes dart around him as if to see some answer. But he doesn’t help at all. He’s just standing there grinning at me. What...this… My mind is trying to process the next word and failing. Finally, though, the teen doesn’t seem bothered by my silence, instead, he seems to take the opportunity to speak. I feel a rush of relief as he lets go of my hand- which I instantly pull back toward me. Mykhol turns to face the court. “This is a doll that our finest crafter has created. He specializes in creating replicas. He is detailed down to the mere centimeters. Each is a perfect copy-“ Mykhol explains in a prominent voice that carries through the room. But here he stops to look ove
*Ana* “You’ll like the library.” I go as I lead the way. Mykhol smiles with a nod, but I can feel his eye drift. He seems to look forlorn for some reason. “Oh.” I find my steps slow as I see it. Does he not want to go? Am I being pushy? “Unless…you’d like to go elsewhere?” Because you don’t seem that interested. But I don’t say it out loud. It just looks like he isn’t. But Mykhol quickly shakes his head. His energy is back, and he’s looking at me eagerly. “Oh no, please-“ As if to make sure, I feel him squeeze my hand. Then, he drives to move ahead before stopping to look at me. “Please, I would like to see it. Really.” His grin curls as it did back in the court room. He seems to be waiting for me. Or some reaction from me. Am I supposed to make one? I’m not sure. But I nod with a quiet sigh. It looks like he means it- that he does want to go. Maybe I just saw something by mistake. “Yea, well,” I make to step ahead. “It’s right this way.” I continue leading us to t
*Ana* (song suggested for chapter: State of Mind II by Vetle Naero) “Look who’s here again. “Maddie hums, but the sound makes my stomach sink. I didn’t even want to look up. I can already guess who she means. I know it’s not Aunt Funda or, on the off chance, my Uncle. So that leaves only one other person who can come into my side of the palace. And I’m already dreading it. I can’t believe he’s found me. I thought this place would be safe, and he wouldn’t think to check here. I want to cry. But it looks like not even the rose garden is safe- in the middle of winter with no one else around. With no one else who would want to be outside- I thought surely, he wouldn’t try here. He’d overlook the gardens, at least. Nope. I am wrong again. Cousin Mykhol has again located my existence. "He’s rather adamant, isn’t he?" Maddie must have heard my groan because she looked at me with furrowed brows. Does she notice that I’m not enjoying the onslaught of attention? Because I’m not. I don’
*Ana* “Maddie, “ I sigh as I at last feel at ease. It finally comes to that time of the day- bedtime. The now most sacred time of the day. It is the only part of my day that Mykhol can not be with me. He is not allowed to be in my bedroom this late. No one is, save for Maddie. So I relish this moment beyond all others now. My precious time with her. Alone. No Mykhol to peer up beside me. The sheer bliss of the nightly routine has me grounded. All the tension and weariness lift away as Maddie unties my skirt and top to put them back into the wardrobe. She comes back to unravel my braid next. “A rose?” Maddie stops as she finds the dried-out rose. She holds it out to me. I look at it but make no motion to take it. I don’t want to keep it. “Heh,” Maddie shrugs and tosses it into the fire. I watch it burn from my chair. The petals sizzle into white smoke before being swallowed by orange lines. The sight makes me think of Mykhol’s eyes- how he will stare at me almost like I could
*Ana*“Am I… “ I blink, gobsmacked, as my mind can not quite process what I just heard. That, or maybe fight it? The sheer audacity that anyone would even think to ask such a question, let alone someone ask me, is unthinkable.“Am…I?” I try again before Amul nods, his brownish-black eyes glinting with amusement and interest, before spreading his beard thin to betray a toothy grin.“Are you a virgin?” Amul repeats slowly but clearly. As if he thought I might not have heard him correctly the first time, before tilting his head to one side quizzically and shifting a sun-bleached dreadlock off his shoulder.“I asked if you have laid with another man before.” “I…?”The words squeaked out of my chattering teeth before stalling on my tongue, again in disbelief that this was happening.But it is. Amul just asked me if I am a…I look back at him, wide-eyed and not sure how to even start to react to such an off-putting question.Should I be angry? Upset? Disgusted? I don’t know. Or maybe this wa
*Ana*At least…everyone is quick to assemble on short notice. I shiver as another gust of wind blows over us, making even me flinch, and pull up my cloak, before stealing a glance back.On the platform, wrapped up tightly in thick cloaks, Aunt Funda and Uncle Charles miserably stand together against the cold on the left side. Underneath the cloak’s hems, I can spy the hint of blue of the matching gown sets I had ordered made for them. Something Aunt Funda insists is too plain, what with not having jewels sewn in or metallic threads used. But Sir Celbest is always quick to remind her of the budget restraints. Or threaten her that she won’t get any new gowns. Something which seems always to make her grow quiet again. Which is quite impressive on its own, but that just proves Sir Celbest making a good treasurer.Better than Uncle, even. I think with a look over to the crowd and find them both together. Both of them, Pendwick and his maternal grandfather, Sir Celbest, stand in the front
*Naska*“She…turned him down?” Lady Funda was still processing between disbelief and joy at the news, but it didn’t take long before her lips lifted to show a fanged smile. With a smile, Naska was quick to pick up.“Oh, yes. She turned him down, alright.” Naska repeated. “It’s a pity you couldn’t have been there to see it with your own eyes.” Naska went on, and Funda laughed, clearly taken in by the thought.“It would have been grand if I could,” Funda admitted. “To see her, shoot him down like that.” She chuckled again, touching her rings, before turning with a smile.” My, good work, Naska. You’ve done wonderfully.” “I have, haven’t I?” Naska beamed, pleased beyond measure how quickly her work was being praised. But of course, Naska knew she would be.Maybe, Lady Funda will give me another of her pretty necklaces again? She hoped so, reminded of the necklace Lady Funda had just given her the other day. Lady Funda liked her so much more now. Her affection was clear by all the gifts
*Ana*“A confession?” What could Pendwick possibly have to confess to me? I must say, it is quite a surprise to hear, coming from him, of all people.Pendwick is the most forthcoming person I know. He may be shy in his words, yes, but he is candid with me. So, it’s quite a surprise to hear we had secrets between us.Though, he did mention something like this before, didn’t he? Back in the garden the other morning? Perhaps this is referring to that?“Pendwick? What is this confession?” I curiously look down at our hands, his cupping over mine, before looking back up. “Have you..done something?”“Done..?” Pendwick flinches, his hands slightly shaking over mine a moment, but takes in a shaky breath, before calming down. “It’s.. not something I wanted to do.” Pendwick lowers his eyes then. “Not intentionally.”Not intentionally he says? “Then, Pendwick, what is it?” I press because now I am starting to feel my stomach tighten, a bit confused. What could he be confessing about? And… what
*ana*“Bruno, I would have thought you, out of everyone, would have liked this idea.” But clearly, I am wrong. And, instead of excitement like I thought, I now have a 14-year-old boy, brooding at me. Bruno’s overgrown dusty red bangs cover his eyes, making it hard to see where he is looking, let alone what kind of expression he’s making now.“What’s so wrong with a dance?” I ask him. “Tell me, why don’t you like it?”“Because…it’s foreign.” Bruno goes off, shaking his head as if that is a good enough reason. But I can’t help but frown all over again.“I know it is. But just because it’s foreign, doesn’t mean we can’t do it.” “Why?” Burno only shoots back, blowing his bangs out of his face with a huff. “It’s enough for me. It’s a silly idea.”“Silly? Oh, Bruno.” I have to smirk at that. “Well, I thought it was something to help liven the party a bit. Something practical in terms.” I answer at last. “I mean, most of us know a dance or two.” “I don’t.” Bruno corrects flatly. “That…ye
*Sir Pendwick*He’s going to be mad. Pendwick didn’t even need to bother pretending. The instant he opened his mouth, he knew what he did. No one overspoke the head of the Celbest family.But I did. Worse, Ana even went with his idea. No, this would not be overlooked, and, inwardly, Pendwick sighed.It’s better if I get it over with now than later. He knew and turned.“Your Empress,” Pendwick started. “I will join you in a moment. I…just have to speak with my grandfather, first.” “Of course,” Ana, unaware of Pendwick's problems, easily replied. Her voice was sweet and soft like always to him. Even in this turmoil, Pendwick could not help but admire her eyes, so beautiful and clear, as she regarded him like a thousand times before.How much I wish I could just fall into them and stay there. Pendwick looked on, longingly, cheeks warming a little. But just as he wished it, he knew he couldn’t stall. He had to go and go he would.“Yes,” Pendwick nodded just before Hidi started.“Well
*Ana*“Hidi,” I go, but Hidi simply smiles back at me, the damage already done.“It will fit.” Hidi turns back to overlook the procession of more crates. Her newest ‘gifts’ of ‘decor’ are looming in multiple boxes. Just looking at the boxes now, I’m afraid to even ask what they are.“Hidi,” I sigh again, “I thought I made it clear that I wanted this to be a manageable party.” “Oh, Ana,” Hidi tsks. “You must make it big. This is your first real party since the coronation, and that was a decade ago.”“It was 9 years, Hidi.” I correct, “Not ten.” but Hidi rolls her eyes.“Worse than that,” Hidi shakes her head, “ You know it too. Come, Ana, I know these things. You must impress the other nobility and royals coming. My Mama alone will have opinions.”“Your-her majesty is coming?” I raise a brow at the news. “She will attend this time?”“It’s nothing major.” Hidi goes off-handedly. “Mama is curious about how things have been.”“But Hidi,” I pout a little, finding the revelation not small
*Julia*“Your Majesty.” Julia piped up, although she knew it was hopeless, that Belinda was already set in her ways. And sure enough, Belinda proved her right.“He wants to go,” Belinda went, her grey eyes watching both her beloved men step into the carriage. “You know, I can’t stop him.” Belinda went on, seeing Nicoli move for the carriage, his excitement clear to see, even from where they stood on the platform. Nicoli lingered to give one last wave and blow of a kiss. Belinda cracked a little, but quickly defaulted back to her icy demeanor as it was now Alexander’s turn.He looks even worse than when he first came back to Dawny some weeks ago. Julia thought with a sinking feeling. Alexander’s face had changed in his short stay, it was sunken to show his cheekbones, and his tan skin was losing color. Even his eyes were different, the blue shine was gone and dull.Alexander had stopped coughing shortly after a few days rest, but now new ailments attacked him, a shortness of breath, an
*Hidi*“Don’t be a pussy, Mama.” Hidi sighed with a roll of her eyes. But really, it wasn’t like she was asking for much. So why did she have to be so obstinate? Hidi pouted.It was one thing for her to be stubborn, but that was different. She was queen now, but even before, Hidi was always that way, never letting up, until she got exactly what she wanted, which she always did. But it was quite something else to have someone treat her the same.No, it’s worse. Hidi thought looking over to her mother, dressed in her thick bear fur coat. No, it was, because Bratha was so much worse. If Hidi was stubborn, Bratha was the main source. She oozed defiance, down to her bones, set in her ways, a queen to the very end, even still, in her older age. But, perhaps it wasn’t just because of her natural stubbornness. Bratha didn’t fear Hidi as everyone else did. No, Bratha didn’t fear anyone. And it was because of that, she had no problem refusing Ana’s invitation now. Even with Hidi’s insistence