I locked the front door to the sound of my cell chirping on the table. I grabbed it. “Message? There is no—oh, shit!” I placed it to my ear. “Hello?”
A deep, rich laugh rumbled down the phone. “Hi to you, too.”
Warmth spreaded through me at those four tiny words, simple but strong, and I smiled. “Hi.”
“How much wine did you drink?”
“Not nearly as much as you think but more than we should have.” I padded through to my bedroom. “You okay?”
“Better now I’m talking to my bitch,” Ivan said, laughing quietly.
“I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” I climbed beneath my covers and snuggled down.
“Oh, I’m sorry, baby girl. How are you?”
“Cold.”
“Why are you cold?”
“I might have forgotten to pay my electric bill. I have to do it tomorrow.”
He laughed. “Dammit, Brenda. How do you forget that stuff?”
“I just… I forgot. It’s like you forgetting to pick your socks off the floor. Or put the toilet seat down.”
“That’s because I’m a male, not because I’m flighty. Leaving the toilet seat up is a territorial thing.”
“Oh, yes. I’ll make a note to ignore your territorial stake in my bathroom next time I fall down the fucking toilet.”
“You do that.” So much laughter was in his voice. Bastard.
I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me. “What are you doing?”
“I’m thinking this conversation would be much more fun if I were there to shut you up.”
“I’m thinking I agree. Depending on your method of shutting me up, of course.”
“I can’t tell you in advance. It’s impulsive. You know that.”
“No, I’m the impulsive one in this relationship. You’re the planner one.”
“I like hearing you say that.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “What? That you’re a planner?”
“Don’t be difficult, you awkward bitch. You know what I mean.”
“Oh, yes. The relationship part. The thing that makes me your official bitch. I should get that on a badge. ‘Ivan Sands’s Bitch.’”
“I can arrange for one to go on your next birthday card if you’d like,” he quipped.
“You’re about five months too late for that, honey.” I grinned. “Perhaps I should just get a shirt printed.”
“You should. And you should wear it all the time.”
“Sheesh. Honey, if you get any more territorial, you’ll be pissing on my legs.”
“If my cock is that close to your legs, it won’t be peeing on you. It’ll be between them and cumming inside you. Just so that’s clear.” His voice took on a husky quality that made me shiver.
'Yikes. Okay with me…'
“Aren’t you supposed to be all romantic now that we’re in a relationship?” I asked, holding back my laughter.
“What, do you want me to send flowers and shit?”
“Flowers are nice. Handcuffs are nicer.”
“Then I’ll send you a bunch of flowers secured by a pair of handcuffs.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Try me. Goodnight, Brenda.”
The line blinked dead. I stared at the screen dumbly.
'Why do I believe he would?'
I rubbed the lingering sleep from my eyes as I parked my car outside the bar. The new bar. Aaron’s bar.
Kind of my bar.
It was an odd feeling, knowing that, in twelve days, the bar would be ready to open and I’d be the guy—er, gal—in charge. The only thing I’d ever really been in charge of before was my freakin’ cat, and considering his lack of canned food, he’d argue that I do a pretty crappy job.
I paused in the middle of the sidewalk and set a reminder to go to the store and get Angus some food. And food for me because my cupboards were seriously skinny.
Tucking my phone in the pocket of my sweater, I walked into the bar, now named Indulgence. Not much had changed since Aaron brought me a few days ago. There was still dust everywhere despite the use of dust sheets, and I had still given a bright yellow hard-hat before I could go more than five steps.
At least there were a million black marble tiles stacked in the corner ready to be laid on the floor.
There were no tables, no curtains, no bar, but there was flooring.
Reassuring.
I wanderes around for a bit, aimlessly taking in what was going on. I was getting ready to leave when one of the builders holding a floor plan waved for my attention. I made my way through tools and various construction items toward him.
“Yes?”
“Are you Brenda?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
He visibly relaxed. “Great. Miss, we have a problem with the bar.”
No, you don’t. “What is it?”
He placed the floor plan out on a stack of wood that would eventually become the stairs and pointed to the area where it met the edge of the bar. “Because of the poor construction in the upper level, we have to bring the stairs out by another two feet.” He ran his finger down the seating opposite the bar. “This will mean that you can’t have seats here and it’ll thin your walkway space from the seating area to the dance floor.”
I blinkes at the plans for a moment. “Give me a second.” I walked away from him and pulled out my phone to dial the number for Aaron’s office.
“Hello. Aaron Sands’s office?”
“Hi, Zippy. This is Brenda. Is Aaron around?”
“He’s just about to go to a meeting. Is it urgent?”
“It’s pretty important, yeah.”
“Just a sec.”
I heard a rustle as she moved the phone then a low rumble of voices. Seconds later, Aaron came on the line.
“What can I do for you, Brenda?”
I explained everything the builder just said to me, but he cut me off halfway through.
“Shit. Okay, look. I can’t be late for this meeting. Just do what you think is best, even if it means overriding the plans, all right?”
“Uh”—shit—“sure.”
The line blinked dead. I closed my eyes and muttered a few choice words. I did not sign up for this.
“Okay,” I breathe, rejoining the builder and running my eyes over the plans. “Can you move the bar?”
“I guess… To here or here.”
“Then the dance floor would be here, correct?” I circled the area at the bottom of the stairs.
He nodded. “Yes. Take away a foot of floor and the stairs would come out in the seating area in front of the bar, and then you could go either way.”“And it wouldn’t impact the access to the storeroom, coatroom, or restrooms?”“No, ma’am. If you put the bar along this wall, it’ll actually be easier access for staff.”“Perfect. Put the bar here”—I pointed to along the wall—“the main seating area here”—I circled the area in front of it—“and the dance floor here. But make sure there’s a space to access the restrooms without having to go through the dance floor. And while we’re here, could you put a minibar in upstairs? I believe Mr. Sands wants it to be VIP and special occasion only, so they’ll want their drinks served separately.”“We can fit a corner bar in here.” He tapped the pa
“You sound like a teenage girl who ruined up her date.”“Whatever, Brenda. Did you sort your shit out?”I smiled. “Yes, Nana. I sorted my shit out.”“Good.” Silenced for a moment. “Did you need something? I thought I told you not to call me because you’d piss me off.”I took in a deep breath. “No, Nana. I just wanted to check if you were okay.”“Good. Don’t call me again, you dingbat.”“Okay. I’ll remember not to call you again.”“You better. Did you make up with that boy?”I closed my eyes this time. “Yes, Nana. I made it up with Ivan.”“Good. Don’t call me again. Goodbye, Brenda. Love you.”“Love you. Bye.” I hung up, shaking my head, and leaned it back in the seat.Ivan handed over the money, dumped the food in my lap, and pulled away from
“Gross.” I made a swipe for the bag, but he held it to the side. “Ivan! You’re such a fucking child!” I jabbed him in the bicep.He winced, dropping his arm, and I took the chance to grab the bag.With a laugh, I said, “Ha! Who has the food now?” I got up and ran around the table, digging in for my burger. I unwrapped it and tear a bite off in a very unladylike way.Hey, if the guy can fuck me on a regular basis, he can deal with my eating habits.“Brenda,” he said slowly, standing, his eyes dead on mine. “Give me my burger.”I shook my head.“Brenda.” An undercurrent of a threat was in his voice, and despite the small thrill it sent through my body, I took another bite of my burger.“Yes?”“The burger.”I shook my head for a second time. “Nope. You take my food, I take yours.”“You took it back.
“Come here.” He nudged my nose with his and slid me off the counter. Without letting me go, he carried me through to my room. Just when I was smiling at his act of romance, he pulled out of me and dumped me unceremoniously on my bed.I shrieked and grabbed my sheet to stop myself from falling onto the floor. “You dick!” I yelled as he disappeared into the bathroom.Of course, he laughed. He never took me seriously when I yelled insults at him, and that was half the fun.“Hey, bitch.” He threw a towel on top of me and then jumped over me. His knees were on either side of my thighs, his forearms by my head, and his grinning face was hovering just inches above mine.“What?” I asked, awkwardly reaching between us and wiping. Somehow, I eased my panties down and threw them on the floor.His smile widened. “You never gave me my blow job.”My own lips moved to mirror his, and I tapped his
“Brenda, snap the hell out of it!” Her words were short and sharp.I blinked harshly.“Honestly, I can’t decide if you’re addicted to love or a commitment-phobe.”“Both. Definitely both.”“Don’t tell me you’re seriously thinking that being with Ivan is a bad idea.”I leaned back in the chair. “I’ve never not thought that. He’s a very, very bad idea.”“You really piss me off sometimes.”“Good. At least the feeling is mutual.” I grinned and she returned it.“Seriously, meeting his sister isn’t a big deal. You don’t even have to meet her with him. We’ll go for drinks or something.” She shrugged. “Aaron’s working late, so I’m basically sitting around like a dick every night, doing nothing.&r
The model stared at me with an affected look before she turned to Ivan. A flirtatious smile stretched across her face and she flicked her hair.'Oh, please. Is this fucking high school?'“Let’s get started,” Ivan said casually.You wouldn’t believe that, just seconds ago, he was leaning over me, half threatening me.He casually picked up his camera and directed the model where to stand. I hooked one of my ankles over the other. Resolve was building inside me. 'I will stick this shoot out.''I’ll sit here, jealousy and anger and possibly a little hatred building inside me, and I’ll watch the whole damn thing.'Just to make a point.I rested my elbow on the desk and placed my chin in my palm. I was not sure who the model waz or what she was doing, but she had a really annoying laugh. All high pitched and almost squeaky. The ones you cringe at.I tapped my nails against my leg, watching the shoo
The glass clanked on the counter as I placed it down. The vodka settled into a warm ball in my lower stomach. Shit, shit, shit. Fucking shit!I kicked the cupboard shut and looked at the clock for the first time since leaving the studio. At least I lasted most of the shoot. That was better than running at the first glance.Ha. Running. I’m good at running. So much so that I should live in my fucking sneakers.I poured another drink and drunk it as quickly as the last. Shit. What if I am falling in love? What kind of fucked-up bullshit would that make our relationship? It certainly wouldn’t be a fairytale.It would be nothing close to a fairytale. Not even good ol’ Walt could spin it into a Disney-esque happy ending.Another clank of the glass against the side and I stormed into the bathroom. I turned the shower on—full heat and full power—and stripped off. I stepped beneath the burning flow of water and let it wash ove
“I’m not shooting in two weeks.” His lips curled up. “Yes, you are. Modester just didn’t call you yet. You got the campaign. And while you’re on a beach in fucking Mexico in a fucking bikini in front of some fucking knob, I’m stuck here, waiting for you to get back.” I couldn't even be happy. I couldn’t be thrilled about getting the campaign. All I could hear was the thickness in his voice. The one he was trying to hide. “You are mine, Brenda. Don’t ever doubt that. Every part of you is mine. And I’m yours. Every part of me is yours. Don’t doubt that either.” I buried my face into his chest. He was right. We belonged to each other, even if it was in the most fucked-up way. In a way that made no sense at all. “I don’t doubt it,” I whispered into him. “I never doubt it. Not when I feel this way. I can’t. It’s impossible, Ivan. I can’t not believe it.” “Then listen to it. Please, baby girl. Please just fucking listen to it when I make you
“What… What is this?” I swallowed, looking at Ivan. He was grinning, but it was nervous. And I didn’t blame him. I wanted to know why he was standing next to an officiant and Aaron and Dayton. “How did you two—what? I don’t understand. Ivan, what the hell are you doing?” He laughed silently and stepped up to me. Then he took my hands in his and slowly linked our fingers. “Marry me,” he whispered. “Right now.” My lips parted and I shuddered out a breath. “For real? This isn’t a joke?” He shook his head. “Forever, Brenda. It’s only ever going to be you for me.” I looked over his shoulder at my best friend and her new husband. “But—they—” “Told me to,” he replied. “I like surprises, remember?” I opened my mouth, but how do you respond to the truth? I told him that once. “
His tongue swirled and skimmed across my body, tasting every inch of my skin. Each lick was like a blazing swipe of fire, searing into me, branding me to him. As Ivan travelled down across my stomach, he hooked his fingers in the sides of my shorts and pulled. “No knickers. Good girl,” he hummed against my hips. “Surprise.” My voice hitched as he pressed his lips to the top of my thigh. He smiled against my skin and removed my shorts completely. After discarding his own shirt, he bent down and bend my legs up. My chest rose and fell frantically, my breathing harsh. His fingers teased the inside of my closed thighs, working their way between them. But more than that, his breath on my pussy. Oh, god. I closed my eyes as he parted my legs fully and blew on me. I clenched everywhere, anticipation trembling in my legs. “This,” he murmured, kissing m
“Because they like to fuck with you.” I smiled sweetly. “What did they talk about today?”His face darkened. “When I slept with my student.”My curiosity piqued. I’ve never actually asked about it—why he did it. No matter how much I wanted to, it never seemed like the right time. Besides, it was not dinner conversation, was it?“And?” I asked, trying not to show my interest.I failed, because he smirked and joined me at the table. “Brenda, if you want to know, just ask me. It’s fresh in my mind, funnily enough.”“Uhh. Okay. Why did you do it?” I looked at him now.“Honestly, it was a mistake. I’d met her sister a couple of times, and there was only a couple of years between them. They looked very alike. I arranged to meet her sister for a few drinks one night, but i
“Without this bitch?” I shoved the IV forward.“No, you’re not taking it out. They only just changed the bag. You know they said they’ll take it out when it’s empty. Now sit down and wait a minute.”I sat in the chair he was just in and grumbled something I didn’t even understand. I didn’t actually think I said any words, just a bunch of awkward, annoyed sounds put together.Truth was, I knew I had to keep the IV line in. I knew I had to stay there until they say otherwise, but the problem with hospitals is that they’re not exactly relaxing. They’re too clinical and sterile. And boring. Completely boring.“Okay,” Ivan said, coming back in. “You can get dressed and come down to the shop with me.”“And how hard did you have to charm her for that?” I grunted, getting up.
I raised my eyebrows. “For once? So all the times I did what you wanted in bed don’t count?”His grin turned sexy. “You had to do that. We had an agreement.”“But they still count!”“When you’re better, you’ll have to remind me of how they count.” He curved his fingers around the back of my neck and kissed me. “Until then, though, you’re moving in with me.”“You already decided that.”“I know. But now I’m deciding again. And while you’re resting in bed, growing that beautiful baby and not vomiting all over my shiny toilet”—I punched his leg—“you can house hunt.”“House hunt?”“Yes. For us.”I blinked at him. “Um.”“Somewhere close to Day’s place.”
I nodded. “Will it hurt the baby?”“No, the illness itself won’t, but the dehydration can. Normally, I would listen in to baby’s heartbeat now, but since you’re so early, I probably won’t be able to pick it up.”I curled my fingers around Ivan’s and squeezed. Hard. “So what? How can you check?”“We’ll take you for an ultrasound at nine a.m. We took blood when you came in and I rushed the HCG results. The numbers put you at around nine weeks, so we’ll get a clear view of baby on the screen.” She stood. “The best thing you can do is get some sleep.”“I’ll try.”“And, Brenda?” She opened the door and stopped. “Don’t worry. Sickness is usually a good sign. It means you have high hormone levels and a healthy baby in there.”
“How the hell do you expect me to leave you? Look at you! I can’t walk out of here after seeing you like this! It goes against bloody everything in me to do that.”“But I told you I’d call if I needed you.” My head pounded and I closed my eyes. “You shouldn’t have been here in the first place, so just forget you ever came.” I pushed past him and pulled two Tylenol out of the drawer.And stared at the glass dumbly because I couldn’t fucking keep anything down.I threw the glass in the sink and it dropped with a smash. I rested my forehead against the fridge, the tears spilling over my eyes.“Brenda,” he whispered.“I’ve never been in so much fucking pain in my life. My head is thumping and my stomach hurts so bad, but there’s nothing I can do, because I can’t keep a single fuckin
Mark laughed. “I didn’t mean it so simply. I mean that, once a day, take thirty minutes for yourself and do something that’s you. It’s all about perspective, Brenda. If you allow yourself to make everything about him, it will be.”“It’s not about allowing myself. I can’t help it. He’s the center of my world. Hell, he’s the center of my whole damn universe, and all I can do is hold on to his gravitational pull while I spin out of control.”“You can help it. Of course you can. It’s your decision, and you have control because you’re aware of it. You’re in the position where you can grab your addiction by the balls and deal with it.”“Is that professional lingo, Doctor? Grabbing addiction by the balls?”He half-grinned. “If it’s not, it should be. It’s a very
All of it. For him. For me. For the baby.Without a second thought. Because we were more than addiction. It was hard to remember sometimes; we were stronger than the ties that bounded us in the beginning.We are not addiction. We are love in its strongest, purest form, no matter how wrinkly or rough it is. We are indestructible, and I truly believe that, one day, we’ll be able to weather any storm.Right now, we’re the eye of the storm. We’re the tornado touching down on the ground, and our relationship was in a whirlwind, destructive spin above us. If we try hard enough, we can slow the spin and the devastation.If we try hard enough, we can erase the storm and pave the way for the mess to be fixed.My bed dipped as I rolled over, yawning. I snuggled back into the covers and reached for the quilt. It felt like something hard, something warm, though. And