Pagkatapos naming kumain ay nagyaya na si Aesther na umuwi. Ayaw pa sana nina Sidhean pero wala na silang magawa. Ayaw ko rin namang hayaan umuwi mag-isa si Aesther. Lumabas kami at naglakad papuntang main road. Doon naghihintay ang driver ni Aesther. Pagdating namin sa intersection, kailangan naming maghiwalay dahil hindi kami parehas ng daan pauwi.
“Ikaw ba Mav? Saan ka?” tanong ko kay Maverick.
“Ah, doon din ang daan ko pauwi,” sagot niya na tinuro ang daan sa kabila na siyang dadaanan din nila Aesther.
“Oh, eh sama ka na samin,” aya ni Aesther sa kanya.
&nb
The next day was an awkward one for us. We just worked on our research and will only talk if we have questions for each other. I can say I am ashamed but I really felt better after crying. I looked at Sidhean in front of me who’s busy reading something on his laptop. He doesn’t seem to be awkward with me but maybe he is considerate enough not to mention anything for me not to be offended. I smiled realizing that he is a warm person after all. We are currently working on our qualitative research in his house. I met his mother when I arrived but she went out right after welcoming me. There’s just the two of us as of now excluding his two dogs. “Hey, do we include the effect of mobile game addiction to social health?”
The week started off in a hectic way. We prepared for the defense which we nailed later on, we got busy with workloads and academic activities such as choosing for the Supreme Student Government in which Maverick won as the president, and I realized I wasn’t myself the past few weeks. I have been guillible when I am with Sidhean but gets back to being consumed by anxieties when I am alone. And I hate it. I hate the idea of being emotionally dependent to anyone. I don’t like the anxiousness that I feel whenever I think that Sidhean will soon get tired of me and will eventually leave me. That’s why I finally decided. I will draw the line. I should bear in mind that he is just a friend and nothing more.
The next couple of days were silent for me. There’s no Sidhean nor Aesther present to talk to me. Aesther apologized for how she acted that day but we we’re not the same anymore. It feels like there’s already a crack between us. Our relationship is already damaged. She would only talk to me if she needs anything and there would always be an awkward atmosphere between us. As for Sidhean, he did keep a safe distance from me. But once in a while, he would still put a box of milk in my desk without saying anything. I can’t blame him, though. This is what I want, thus, I should expect this happening. Aesther keeps talking to him and I guess they already formed a bond since I can sometimes see them giggling.&
Kinabukasan, naging mabuti naman ang pakiramdam ko. May nararamdaman pa rin akong kirot sa paa ko pero hindi na gaanong masakit. Pinilit ko kasi talagang huwag itong igalaw kagabi at naka-elevate lang ito buong magdamag. Mabagal akong kumilos para maghanda sa pagpasok sa Morning Dew. When I finished, I went there. “Good Morning po,” bati ko kay Kuya Ian nang pumasok ako. “Oh, anong nangyari sa paa mo?” tanong niya nang makitang paik-ika ang lakad ko. “Ah, ito? Wala kuya, natapilok lang ako kagabi,” sagot ko sa kanya.&n
The preparation for the acquaintance party went on. I’ve finalized my accompaniment for the song I am preparing. The party is in two days and almost all of the students are excited. We are given ample time to prepare for the event, thus, they opted not to have discussions for the mean time. Habang naglalakad ako sa hallway, kakaunti lang ang nakikita kong tao. Halos lahat ay nasa mga malls at mga botiques para mamili ng kani-kanilang mga damit. Speaking of dress, I don’t know what to wear actually. I’m contemplating if I should wear the dress Aesther gave me. Yes, she already gave it to me so technically that was mine, but thinking about our recent situation, I am not sure if she wants to see me wear it. I stopped on my tracks when I a
Loud music coming out of the human sized speakers filled the whole function hall. The whole area is covered with shades of black, silver and gold colors making it look so elegant. The students dressed in elegant and expensive clothes are inrecognizable with the variety of masks that’s covering the upper half of their faces. But the happy smiles from their lips are very evident which proves their excitement for this event. “You’re here!” I was startled when someone approached me and found out that it was Maverick. I almost can’t recognize him if not because of his voice. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Huh? Ah- I-I’m quite nervous,” I answered looking down. True to my words, I am actually nervous for my perform
Maverick led me out of the function hall and we sat in a bench near the garden. I was still stunned with what he said but he seemed to be nonchalant with it. “Why did you say it?” I asked him without looking at him. I can feel him looking at me and sighed deeply. He then got a water bottle, opened it, and gave it to me. I took it and stared at him. He was a bit flustered, so he looked away and cleared his throat. “Before you get mad at me, I just want to tell you that I said it to clear your name from Lalaine,” he calmly explained. “So
I was about to walk past them but Lalaine blocked her foot in front of me. Mabuti nalang nakita ko kaagad at napigilan ang sarili ko dahil kung hindi, baka subsob na ako ngayon sa semento. “Well, well, well,” she said and walked in front of me like some witch in a fairytale movie. Kulang nalang ang itim na kapa at mansanas sa kanya. “I never thought someone would like you, let alone the Student Supreme Government President,” she added and clapping slowly after as if mocking me. She then moved to my side and twirled my hair. “Well, I think I have to approve...” she moved closer and whispered to me. “Because it’s not Sidhean.” She let go of my hair and walked away from me. I then let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding the entire time.
I kissed her. I’ve kissed her before but this time, it’s different. We are both healed. We both are new individuals, facing challenges together. We’ve been through so much, and I would love to go through more with her. I would love to be with her for the rest of my life. I put the letter down on the table and pulled her into me while our lips are still linked with each other. I pulled her waist closer and my hands draw small circles there. Her hands went from my face up to my nape. She’s clinging on to me, and it gave me a different kind of feeling. Saying butterflies in my stomach is too cliché as an adjective.  
I woke up early in the morning feeling excited about this day. Sa gabi ang hinandang party ni Sid and close friends lang ang invited at mga relatives niya. Bilang pasasalamat na rin niya raw ito dahil malapit na rin siyang grumaduate. Kinaya niya at kakayanin niya. Maraming naniniwala sa kanya at isa na ako doon. He’ll be a great brother and a boyfriend. Boyfriend. I smiled at the thought. Starting later this evening, wala ka nang kawala Sid. Naglinis ako at nagbihis para sa pagkikita namin ni Mav. Sana lang nagpaalam siya ng maayos sa fiancé niya. Ayokong masabunutan mamaya. Kaka-treatment lang nit
We were silent for about half an hour after she said that. I was expecting that she’s sorry at some point but I still was surprised when she dropped the word. Ever since we became bestfriends, she’s not the type to say sorry first. You have to humble yourself first before she admits her faults. And she always justifies her wrongdoings. Kesyo dapat daw maintindihan ko siya dahil it’s her first time, she didn’t know, and any other reasons she might have. Kaya nang nauna siyang mag-sorry, I was caught off-guard. Maybe life did change her, for the better, I guess. “Apology not accepted?” she nervously asked me. Nakatulala lang ako sa kanya, finding every hint of insincerity in her face, but all I can see is h
We’ve been sitting opposite from each other in silence. She would look at me and if I caught her, she would look away again. She’s also fidgeting with her fingers, nervous about something I don’t know. She wants to talk to me but she’s not saying anything since we went inside their bakery. All I can hear right now are the busy sounds of people working in the kitchen baking all kinds of pastries. I took the glass the cold water in front of me and drank from it. I looked at my wristwatch and it’s getting late. I still have to cook for our dinner. I looked back at her and she seemed to not talk anytime soon, so I stood up. &nb
“Congratulations, Kae! I’m so proud of you,” Dr. Jecyl told me and embraced me in a tight hug. This is my last meet with her as a patient but definitely not the last time as a friend. I am so happy I achieved something after a year. A year had passed and a lot of things happened. I have been visiting her clinic once I have free time and therapeutic sessions with her were all awesone and beneficial on my part. I could say – also according to her diagnosis – that I am healed. I don’t have panic attacks anymore and I can control my emotions now. Not that I want to hold all of my emotions, I still have breakdowns, and it’s normal. What I mean is, I am not easily affected like before. I know now when should I
“Ate, you’re done na ba?” my sister asked outside my room. “Malapit na!” I answered back and went to continue preparing. We are going to Ate Kaitlyn today. We agreed to visit her today and eat lunch with her. Matagal na rin kasi noong bumisita kaming lahat doon. Yes, Ate Kheana will be with us. Ang laki na nga ng tiyan niya eh. She’s expected to labor three weeks from now, and I am excited to see my niece. Bunso is excited, too. She even had a schedule na doon na matutulog kila ate para lang makasama ang baby. I am happy na umaayos na ang lagay naming lahat. As for Ate Kaitlyn, she’s also recovering well.
I woke up later than the time expected. Kuya Ian gave us a day to take a break and have time for ourselves. But I still have to work on the convenience store and the fastfood later. I stood up and went to the bathroom and washed up. After taking a bath, I looked for a decent pair of clothes and settled for a white three-fourth sleeve polo shirt and mom jeans. Today is the only time I am free to consult a doctor. Yes, I am finally taking a step towards healing. Ate Kheana suggested a psychiatrist for my therapy. She told me that she had a seesion once with her and she’s really good. So, I have to try it for myself, too. It might be minimized now, but I still have anxiety attacks. And I am tired of it. Also
Months passed and everything prettily went back to normal. Or that’s what I assumed to be. Classes started at the beginning of June and I worked hard for bunso’s school needs as well as our daily needs and Ate Kaitlyn’s needs. Ate Kheana would sometimes visit or call us to check up on us. The worry I had last time about her abandoning us for her new family went to waste. She still cares for us. And I thank her for that. Bunso on the other hand, had a heart-to-heart talk with me before she enrolled. She admitted that she felt sorry for me because I have to stop schooling for her. I told her it was all good but I also made her promise to do better in school. For her future’s sake. She did promise me that she will do her best to help me by doing great in school, and I took note of that. &nbs
Trigger Warning: Mentions of sickness and death I ran to him and checked his body for any bruise or whatsoever. I checked his face, his arms, his legs, and he was just standing there, too stunned to speak. “Anong nangyari sa’yo? Okay ka lang ba?” tanong ko sa kanya at gulat pa rin siya. “Hoy! Tinatanong kita!” mas nilakasan ko pa ang boses ko. “Ah-ha?” nauutal niyang tanong. “Anong nangyari sa’yo?” tanong ko ulit. “W-wala naman,” sagot niya n