TWO WEEKS LATERI miscalculated. Misjudged. Bottom line, I fucked up.Staring at the text message, I was left hollow. Empty. For a week straight, I’d gone back to the message and read it again and again.Pregnant. Twins. Left.My gut wrenched. My chest cracked.I pushed her too hard and wanted too much. My jealousy. My fucked-up, arrogant ways. My temper. My blind jealousy. I fought so hard to keep her and lost her anyway.After that text, I drove to her house to find it fucking empty. I called her. Over and over again. I had private investigators looking for her. Her house in Croatia, the one she let my mother use. Nothing. The town where she lived with her parents. Nothing. I even went after Rick and Noona, until those two disappeared too. They landed in Zagreb and then fucking nothing.The day she walked out my door replayed over and over again. Every look. Every word.She’d said goodbye that day. Except I was too stupid to hear it.I recalled the way her dark eyes flashed with hur
LillyThe little village of Brsečine on the Dalmatian Coast in Croatia was where I found myself.The old stone dwelling gave off dreamy vibes and the dwelling held so much history.A decade ago, I fell in love with the 16th century old stone villa, which was a summer residence to a celebrated local Renaissance artist, situated in a valley-like spot on the way to Dubrovnik. The house had thirteen bedrooms, some inhabitable currently. Eventually it’d be ridiculously too large for our family, but I clung to this dream of one day having a large family and having reunions with all the people I cared about and loved.And then there was the dream of turning it into a small beach rental with an exit right to the beach and a magnificent terrace with a view of the sea. The beautiful courtyard reminded me of the story about Romeo and Juliet. The whole place just had so much character. From almost any point in the house or the yard, you could see the Adriatic Sea stretched for miles and a protect
LillyKai and his father arrived.Sienna ran past all of us and threw herself into Kai’s arms like she hadn’t seen him in a year. I couldn’t quite decide whether to cry or roll my eyes. Cursed hormones.I strode out of the courtyard behind her, approaching Jonathan.“Hello Lilly,” he greeted me with a wide smile.“Welcome,” I smiled back. “How was your trip? You must be tired.”“Trip was good but long,” he replied. “Quite a hideout you have here.”I glanced over to Sienna and Kai who looked like two lovebirds in heaven. Young love had never looked so naive and romantic. Geez, I wasn’t quite sure whether I was ready for this.Ready or not, it’s coming.Jonathan’s chuckle pulled me back. “Makes me kind of feel old,” he commented.“Agreed,” I muttered. I hoped my daughter’s love story would go better than my own. And make it platonic, I added mentally. “I’m not ready for my daughter to seriously date,” I countered.“I understand that completely,” he replied. Silence followed, lingering t
Chance“You can do it.” Sophie’s voice traveled through the closed door of the hospital room, mixing with whimpers, cries and the shuffling of efficient nurses as they prepared for the delivery of a newborn.I’ve never witnessed the delivery of a newborn. Never imagined I’d have a chance. Yet now, fatherhood was within my reach, but the fear that inched itself into my chest the moment I read that message refused to subside. What if I had lost her?The weeks following Lilly’s last text were hell. I’d called her so many times that I’d be easily labeled a stalker. I thought about her every second of the day and night. I swore I could smell her perfume - on me, in my home, in my car. I lost my shit with the driver when he had the vehicle cleaned. Because her perfume faded.She left me.I fucking blew it but I refused to accept defeat. I would find her. I’d make it right and show her how much I fucking loved her. Our babies. Her girls and the twins - they were all ours.I pulled out my pho
LillyThe slight breeze coming off the sea felt great on my skin. We spent so much time outside, all of us sported a tan. I could never get tired of this view, the smell of the sea. It was unlike anywhere else in the world. Heaven in the tiny village, off the beaten path. And it was all mine.The atmosphere was comfortable and lazy. The water was cool against our sun-heated skin. Nights might have been a torture for me, but at least the days were filled with sunshine and were good for the soul.Sienna and Kai swam away to one of the caves, hidden by rocky cliffs. We discovered it within a few days of arriving and she staked her claim, checking on it every day. Kai humored her and went with her daily.Wearing a one piece strapless black and white bathing suit and a large white straw sun hat and sunglasses protecting my eyes, I sat on the pebbled beach, my feet in the crystal blue water. I gazed over the horizon, the warm sunshine on my face, and frowned again. A black luxury yacht way
LillyI returned from the beach to find my patio, terrace and first floor of my home filled with a boatload of flowers.Standing in the middle of an indoor jungle, I stared at it all. The air smelled of flowers and the salty sea breeze. It was a Mediterranean climate in turbo mode.“What the hell happened here?” I muttered under my breath, then glanced around again. But there was nobody around. I stood on the upper terrace and my eyes drifted to the sea. The large yacht, reminding me of the devil’s transport, still floated, waves crashing against it.Shaking my head, I returned my attention to the problem at hand. Getting rid of this mess. Whoever had the bright idea of doing this took every single empty space with these plants. Someone must hate me because now, instead of taking a nap, I’d have to clean this jungle.“Murder in the near future,” I grumbled under my breath as I started gathering the plants and moving them around. Some I put outside the courtyard to welcome people as th
LillyWe danced in silence until the song ended when Rick stepped in.“Can I cut in?”“You already have,” Jonathan grumbled.I just chuckled and took Rick’s hand just as Daughtry’s song “September” came on. “Not exactly a dance song.”“That’s ok,” he told me, putting his arms around me. “We can just slow dance.”Our bodies in sync, we danced slowly, just as we did back in our college years. So much has changed. Almost two decades, time wasted on my late husband. Catch twenty-two though, because if I regretted those years, I wouldn’t have my daughters.Opting not to think about Jack, I focused on the words of the song. And damn if that wasn’t just as bad. The words tore at my chest and fragile heart. Since songs never made me tear up before, I mused. This self-revelation would be the death of me.An ache bloomed in my chest, remembering moments with Chance, like snapshots for perfect moments. Damn hormones. Tears burned the backs of my eyes, the ache traveling through my veins to my he
Lilly“Kristoff,” I breathed. “What a surprise to see you here.” Lie.Ever since the gifts, I knew deep down he was coming. Nothing and nobody would keep that man away when he set his mind on something.“No matter where you go, I’ll find you.” The deep sound of his voice did things to me I had no business feeling. Then the words sunk in. Unhealthy, my reason whispered.A loud, delighted screech and the moment evaporated through the summer breeze. Saoirse ran through the terrace. Chance knelt down before she threw herself through the air into his arms. Sierra followed, her eyes shining like the sea under the bright sun and the biggest smile her little face could muster.My heart stilled, the image burning right into my soul.Family. God, this felt like family.Our eyes collided, my heart slowed and the world ceased to exist. Just Chance and our kids. No, no, no, my kids.It was only then I noticed the woman beside him. A gorgeous redhead, wearing a classy white Greek summer dress with
CHANCE - THREE YEARS LATERThe moment my driver passed through the gate, I couldn’t help the smile curving my lips. The immaculate lawn wasn’t so immaculate anymore. The quiet estate wasn’t so quiet anymore. The home wasn’t a lonely place to lay my head.Lilly and my home boomed with laughter, loud voices, occasional tears and arguments, but it was all worth it. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.“Seems the kids had a good day, sir,” my driver remarked.He was right. If the driveway marked with chalk full of colors, bikes, and a kiddie pool were anything to go by. I still didn’t understand the need for a kiddie pool when we had a perfectly functioning real pool, but Lilly insisted it was better.So we went with it. She dragged me to Target and picked out the cheapest pool she could find. I’d do anything to keep her happy. If she wanted me to drain the Olympic size pool, so be it. As long as she continued smiling.The car came to a stop, and I grinned. Lilly sat at the doorstep of our m
SIX WEEKS LATER“Stop fidgeting,” Noona complained. “You are messing up your hair.”“Forget my hair,” I retorted with a wide smile. God, I was so happy I could burst. “It’ll get messed up anyway. Chance gets a bit rough in the bedroom. We’re trying out some kinky stuff after the ceremony.”I winked, a playful smile on my lips.“Jesus, why would you tell me that?” Noona giggled. “What happened to my reserved best friend?”I shrugged my shoulders, glancing at the woman staring back at me in the mirror. My brown hair fell in thick waves down my back, sunlight coming through the yacht window highlighting the warm tones in it. My whiskey brown eyes sparkled and reflected back at me with a happy gleam. Slight makeup accented my eyes, lips, and cheekbones. My beach tan was enough. It contrasted against my simple, white, strapless baby doll wedding dress that came to my knees and matching two inch heels. My baby bump was getting bigger by the day.I couldn’t believe I was getting married. To
LillyBright light streaming through the window woke me, and I slowly opened my eyes, blinded by it. I hadn’t felt this relaxed in weeks, and I smiled to myself. I went to move and felt strong arms wrapped around me. I remembered last night.Too much emotion burned.I swallowed and turned to see Chance’s handsome face. My heart swelled at the sight. I brushed my fingers over his dark hair, the words from last night dancing through the air. I loved him. My body nor my mind would ever want anyone else. He was it for me.My eyes roamed the space. We ended up in my bedroom last night.He said he loves me. My pulse fluttered remembering his words.I slowly shifted out of his arms, ensuring I didn't wake him. I got up and tiptoed around the room grabbing my clothes out of the closet, as quietly as I could, and went into the bathroom to pee. As I shut the bathroom door behind me, I exhaled and leaned against it. My reflection stared back at me, the mirror reflecting a dreamy smile and thorou
ChanceMy woman.Fucking mine.I watched her sleep, her naked body a sight to behold. I’d never tire of watching her. Not in five years. Not in twenty. I’d grow old with her. Love her. Worship her.I fucking loved her so goddamn much that just the thought of losing her brought me to my knees.Tucking her body into me, I skimmed my lips against her temple. A small sigh left her lips but she didn’t stir. Jonathan said she tired easier.It turned out my best friend sleeping with my ex-wife was the best goddamn thing that could have happened to me. Our differences were settled, although I still refused to trust him.But I trusted Lilly.“You’re in my blood, beating in my heart. You’re my life,” I whispered against her temple. “My everything. Life without you would just be existing. I love you. In this life and the next.”Her dark eyes fluttered open and our gazes connected. Confusion and exhaustion lingered in hers.“Did I wake you?” I asked.A breath of silence.“I wanted to make sure yo
LillyTonight’s dinner. At my favorite restaurant. With people I loved.I loved him. He was part of me, just as my girls were.Chance’s words playing in my mind. Over and over and over again. Marry me. Just like that? God help me, I wanted to, but I wanted his love even more.“Look, Mommy... we are beautiful!” Saoirse exclaimed, pulling me away from my thoughts. I caught her watching herself in the mirror, not an ounce of modesty on her face.“Girls, you’re going to turn vain if you continue looking at yourself in the mirror.” Then because I couldn’t resist, I smiled. “And yes, you look beautiful.”My little ones whirled around one more time.“Ok, lovebugs,” I murmured while hugging them. “Go play.”I smiled as they disappeared and I went to get myself ready. A quick shower, even quicker blow-dry, some mascara, and I was ready. My hair had gotten longer and even thicker with my prenatal vitamins. I couldn’t help but smile as I looked at my image in the mirror, the move reminding me of
LillyThe next morning, we found ourselves on the beach early.Chance and Sophie eventually joined too. It was the downfall of a small village. It took all of ten minutes to reach all four corners of the entire village.“Hi, Mommy.” Sierra ran towards me with her chubby hands outstretched. “Mr. Paolo gave me an extra scoop.”I missed the days when the world revolved around ice cream.“Me too,” Saoirse exclaimed.“Free scoops are always the best.”“So this is where you’ve been hiding?” Chance sat next to me. Saoirse and Sierra left to play with their cousins to build yet another stone castle in the water.I glanced down to my bathing suit and regretted not wearing a one piece. The two piece white bathing suit revealed my little bump and next to Sophie’s knockout body, I felt a bit self-conscious. Although I had the best reason for it.“Hi there,” she greeted me. “I hope you don’t mind that we joined in.”“Of course not,” Jonathan replied before I could. He had eyes only for Sophie.Int
LillyI rushed out of there like the devil was at my heel.Rick trailed behind me. “I don’t know how I’ll survive seeing him every day,” I whispered as I glanced over my shoulder.Chance’s intense gaze remained on me, the heat of it burning through me with promises of passionate nights, rustle of the sheets and filthy words against my skin.I shook my head, hoping to clear the images creeping up my mind. “I should have said a million per night, per room.”“He would have paid it,” Rick declared confidently. “Maybe it’s good that he is here. You can decide if you want to go after him.”I glared at him. “Did he look alone to you? Did you not notice that seriously gorgeous redhead next to him?”“I did.” He shrugged casually, tucking his hands into his pockets. “But I also noticed he wasn’t looking at her. His eyes were on you the entire time.”“That’s because he wants to talk about the pregnancy. When that man gets something in his head, he doesn’t let go. I’ve seen him in negotiations.”
Lilly“Kristoff,” I breathed. “What a surprise to see you here.” Lie.Ever since the gifts, I knew deep down he was coming. Nothing and nobody would keep that man away when he set his mind on something.“No matter where you go, I’ll find you.” The deep sound of his voice did things to me I had no business feeling. Then the words sunk in. Unhealthy, my reason whispered.A loud, delighted screech and the moment evaporated through the summer breeze. Saoirse ran through the terrace. Chance knelt down before she threw herself through the air into his arms. Sierra followed, her eyes shining like the sea under the bright sun and the biggest smile her little face could muster.My heart stilled, the image burning right into my soul.Family. God, this felt like family.Our eyes collided, my heart slowed and the world ceased to exist. Just Chance and our kids. No, no, no, my kids.It was only then I noticed the woman beside him. A gorgeous redhead, wearing a classy white Greek summer dress with
LillyWe danced in silence until the song ended when Rick stepped in.“Can I cut in?”“You already have,” Jonathan grumbled.I just chuckled and took Rick’s hand just as Daughtry’s song “September” came on. “Not exactly a dance song.”“That’s ok,” he told me, putting his arms around me. “We can just slow dance.”Our bodies in sync, we danced slowly, just as we did back in our college years. So much has changed. Almost two decades, time wasted on my late husband. Catch twenty-two though, because if I regretted those years, I wouldn’t have my daughters.Opting not to think about Jack, I focused on the words of the song. And damn if that wasn’t just as bad. The words tore at my chest and fragile heart. Since songs never made me tear up before, I mused. This self-revelation would be the death of me.An ache bloomed in my chest, remembering moments with Chance, like snapshots for perfect moments. Damn hormones. Tears burned the backs of my eyes, the ache traveling through my veins to my he