Chapter 6

Eleanor tried to stop her hand from trembling as she raised another piece of cheese to Fann's mouth. It was just bite sized. He said she should time the morsels with his strokes. It had been working surprisingly well, but the act seemed so intimate somehow. It heated her blood and dried her mouth. He leaned forward, the oars swinging back above the water. His eyes held hers and his lips parted for the next bite. Tingles raced up her arm when his lips closed and slid along the pad of her finder. Fann winked at her as he leaned away, pulling the oars through the water. Her breathing grew shallow and she felt the wicked dampness between her legs.

Why did it feel so good when he looked at her? She had never before enjoyed being looked at.

She tore off a piece of bread for the next pass. Waiting until he made eye contact to get back up on her knees. He came forward again with his mouth open and she popped the bread in quickly, pulling back before he closed his lips this time. His mouth twitched up on one side while he chewed and his eyes seemed to sparkle as he leaned away from her.

Eleanor licked her lips and tried to slow her heart.

Why was feeding him making her feel like this?

Surely the nuns hadn't had this reaction every time they fed someone in the abbey. But those people were ill or dying, not topless and well-formed. The shape of him mesmerized her and she itched to touch his chest to see if he was as firm as he looked. She swallowed hard, her eyes on his shifting muscles and her mind wandering so much she missed that he was ready for the next bite when he pulled forward again. She'd never seen a man as strong as Fann. Even the paintings in the nuns' books did not show all the solid muscle that was so clearly defined on the man in front of her. Was everything about him so hard?

She had made him laugh once, the sound had been loud and startled her, but it had warmed her all the same. She had missed fun and laughter during her time at the abbey. It was a busy, calm life there with no time for anything other than work and prayers. The sisters had even pulled her away from cuddling with the baby animals when they caught her at it. Anything that brought her pleasure seemed to have been forbidden. Would it be possible to put some fun into every day now that she wasn't surrounded by the rules of the abbey? When she was wed, would her husband laugh and make merry with her, or only expect her to do her duty? Liam certainly hadn’t seemed to want her to talk much, and they had never laughed together. Could she do something to make this man laugh again? Would she like it if he did?

Fann smiled. His wife's face was such an obvious mixture of desire, confusion, and longing. She would definitely not be a woman prone to many games of intrigue and deception, or if she were, she would not be good at it. Nothing irritated him more than lies. An honest wife was what he wanted most. He realized then that if she were honest if he trusted her, he would gladly give her the freedoms she sought. When he'd gone a dozen strokes without her remembering to give him a morsel he pulled forward and put down an oar.

"Some ale," his voice was more commanding than he’d intended. She dropped the bread and fumbled with the satchel for a moment before handing him the flask. He cursed himself silently for forgetting once again to gentle his tone. He caught her eye and smiled at her when she passed him the flask, hoping to take any sting she might have felt from his demand.

A cool breeze whipped the hair back from Eleanor’s face and blew her shawl off one shoulder. She saw a flicker of something in Fann's eyes as he brought the flask to his mouth, but he just took his drink before giving it back, picking up the oar and returning to his steady rowing pace. Eleanor readied another piece of cheese and got up on her knees. Fann smiled, his lips parted as he slid towards her. Eleanor leaned forward and reached out towards him as if she were about to pop it in his mouth, then she sat back quickly and put it in her own mouth instead! She grinned at his astonished face. Fann's eyes widened, then he tossed his head back and barked laughter up into the cloudy sky. The sound made Eleanor jump, but then she smiled to herself and readied a piece of cheese, this time for him. She had no idea what had possessed her to tease him so, but she was glad she had made him laugh. Fann leaned towards

her with his smiling mouth open, then lunged forward to close his mouth over the cheese and suckle her fingers as he pulled away. Heat exploded from her core at the warm, wet pull of his tongue and lips on her flesh, making Eleanor gasp as she

felt her nipples harden. "I got that one," He said around the mouthful. Eleanor licked her lips, her eyes fastened on his mouth.

After a few more bites Fann scowled and shook his head. "I think that's enough for now." She followed his eyes to the sky behind her and saw a line of dark clouds on the horizon. She looked behind him, glad to see the land was clearly visible now. Soon they would be on solid ground. Eleanor pulled her shawl around her shoulders to keep out the cooling wind and sat cross-legged at Fann's feet watching him row.

"What is going to happen once you get me to my father’s keep?" Fann took a moment to consider how to respond to her question. He didn't want to lie to her, but he'd rather not spill out that they were wed and he had been given the Lairdship of her clan and all the land that had been her father’s. She had just

told him how much she wished to make some choices for herself, it would be better if she came to like him before knowing her fate had been decided for her. They had a long way to travel together and could get to know each other along the way. Perhaps if she decided she wanted to marry him before she found out she was already his, she wouldn’t feel he was being forced upon her.

"What do you want to happen?" He asked cautiously, his eyes fastened on the rising clouds that were moving towards them faster than he'd hoped.

She sighed and looked out to sea. "I discovered when I had two

and ten years that what I want will never matter. First, my life will be as my father chooses, which was why I was stuck in the abbey. There I had to do as the nuns dictated. Then once my father decides who I will wed, my life will be as my husband decides. What I want won’t ever matter.”

“Then why do you ask?”

“I have not been around men in many years and know not how they think. I hoped you might have some idea what I can expect of both my father and whomever he sells me to."

"Sells you to!"

"Women like me are bought and sold for the good of the clan or at least that of their father's tally of gold. Even the nuns didn’t try to deny the truth of it. Since money and land is being exchanged for my body and my life, I am being sold. I have no say in it and nobody considers what my life will become or what my opinion is on the matter. No different than a slave or chattel."

Fann rowed silently for a moment. He'd never thought of a bride price as the selling of a woman, but she had the right of it. Eleanor and her clan had been given to him by the king as a prize. No more thought was given to her wishes than to how the sheep felt about a new Laird who would decide which of them would live to lamb next spring. It wasn’t as though she’d had any say in the accumulation of her father’s debt, she hadn’t even been living in the keep for years, but she was certainly being used as a way to pay for

his mistakes.

"If it were up to you lass; if someone made it possible for you to choose, what would you want to happen?" The swells were growing larger. Fann checked over his shoulder, glad he could see the beaches below the cliffs now. At least the waves were still helping propel them to shore.

"What I would like most would be to have complete control over who I wed. My father had promised I could choose between men he sent, but that is really still him choosing.”

“Anything else?”

“I would like to be able to spend some time with my sister. We were so close when we were little. Then one night I woke up in a buggy on my way to the abbey without even the chance to say goodbye to my sister or my mother. At first, I thought I was there because I'd come into my womanhood. That made me think Eliana would be brought in a year or so, when she..."

"Had her first courses?" Eleanor nodded.

"But she never came. Not even to visit. She is not quite two years younger than I am, surely she is a woman by now."

"Why do you think she wasn’t sent?"

"My mother told me in a letter that all the gold they could spare had been given to the abbey to take me in and keep me to my majority. There wasn’t enough to send both of us, so he sent me, to protect his heir."

"Lairds oft provide for the heir first. Even with males the heir is educated and raised to lead, the spare only receives the same if there is a surplus of coin.”

"That is what I told myself as well. That and perhaps no man had offered for her at as young, if that was indeed the reason I was taken away with such haste. I wanted to believe it was just a matter of coin. It was better than the alternative."

"And what was that?"

"I was simply more bother than Eliana." Fann's heart clenched at the thought of a young lass feeling she had been sent away as punishment.

"What makes you say that?"

"They never visited and rarely wrote. Even my mother wrote less and less and eventually stopped writing all together. When I told the nuns my suspicions they agreed that the abbey was where fathers tended to send their wayward daughters." Finn was silent for a moment. There was nothing he could say to that. His family had been proud when a warrior had

requested to take him to be trained. He had worked hard to better his life and make his father proud. Eleanor had been abandoned to strangers.

"Was your sister quiet and obedient?"

"Quiet anyways," Eleanor shrugged and looked over the sea. "I usually got blamed for our misadventures even if they were her idea. I don't know if she had any after I left. I would like to get to know her again," she sighed, shaking her head sadly. "But it will never be. I will be married before the summer solstice, my birthday,

to whatever man my father wants to take his place as Laird. Eliana will be wed to some wealthy man in London. Or perhaps she has already wed him since mother had only insisted we be eight and ten before we wed.

A new laird for me, and a British noble for Eliana. That was father’s plan."

"Plans change."

"I doubt he will alter them much unless mother birthed him a boy since I left and they forgot to tell me. Even then his plans won’t be changed with any thought to me.”

Fann was liking the old MacDonald less by the minute. “I’m sure he would want to be sure you are safe and happy.”

“If father

cared about my happiness he would not have left me in the abbey all this time without a single visit from my family. The only safety in the island abbey are

its isolation and its walls. The men who took me faced no resistance. Obviously, safety was not a huge priority when her father chose that location. I would be hard to find, but once found taking me was a simple matter."

The boat rocked enough that Eleanor grabbed the side and looked slightly scared.

"There is a storm coming," Fann said gently, wanting her to be aware, but not terrified. “It may get rough. Hopefully, we will not have to hurry from the boat."

"It is good we are nearly there." He peered over his shoulder, the dark clouds stretched behind them now, even over the land. He could see the waves crashing on the shore. It was probably near enough, but he still hoped to reduce the distance. He doubted the boat would make it all the way. Eleanor however hadn't yet realized ‘hurry from the boat’ meant they might have to swim for it. He was quite sure she would panic once she did.

"Yes," he agreed, hoping to keep her calm as long as possible. "Do you see that little dip in the ridge of the cliff?"

"The one with a little gap and tree on one side?"

"Yes. that's the cove I was aiming for. The cliffs drop off quickly once we get into the inlet. There is a rocky beach, then some trees. The croft is hidden around a bend at the end of the beach. Behind it there is a field that looks as though it was once well tended, but has lain empty at least a year."

"I wonder why?"

"These things happen." Lightening streaked across the sky and Fann cursed silently. If he were a religious man he would be begging the heavens to keep the lightning away from the water. He'd seen men struck dead when lightning hit the ocean while they swam.

"It is amazing how you managed to get us there straight away, even with your back to the land." He nodded, knowing it was more good luck than skill. He had aimed them for the coast, the tide had guided them to the inlet purely by chance. Especially over the last couple of hours, since he had decided they simply needed the first piece of land they could reach and had not checked his direction at all. He'd picked up his pace and put every ounce of strength into each pull on the oars, but it was obvious to him that it wasn't going to be enough. The waves were tossing the boat and it would soon overturn. He cursed, knowing that it was time for her to be ready, even if she panicked.

"Undo your laces."

"What!"

"If the boat fills with water your dress will need to come off quickly so we can swim."

"No!" The squeak in her voice as she grabbed the bodice at her neck told him she now understood.

"Eleanor, please, as a precaution. I promise you we will stay in the boat as long as we can, but we may have no choice. It is best to be ready. Take off your dress." Instead, she pulled her shawl more tightly around her shoulders.

"Leave it" he commanded, "the wool will get heavy." She picked up the satchel. He could see the panic in her every move and ached to make her feel better, but the last wave had crested over the edge of the boat. It had left water around his feet and was soaking her skirts. He didn't have the time to coddle her.

"Why are you not undoing your laces?" His voice was angry. Eleanor scrunched up her forehead. "Obey me in this! I will not leave you and your modesty is not worth our lives."

"I can't swim!"

"I will swim for both of us. Please, Leannan." Another wave broke over the side of the boat, rocking it nearly to the point of tipping. Thunder clapped again and the rain began to pour from the sky.

Eleanor watched Fann pull on the oars, trying to keep his promise to stay in the boat as long as possible, but she realized it was hopeless. Being stubborn would gain her nothing.

She turned away from him, tears in her eyes as her fingers fumbled uselessly with the soaking wet knots. They were too wet and her fingers too unsteady. Suddenly the cold edge of a blade ran down her back, then all her clothing slid away. She gasped, grabbing at her bodice.

"Leave it" he commanded, "the fabric will pull us under."

He spun her around, ripping the garment from her hands and tossing it over the side of the boat. His lips came down on hers in a ferocious kiss and he crushed her naked chest against his. "You must trust me, Leannan. Allow me to hold onto you, but do not grab at me, you could pull us both under. We are not far from shore. I will not let you go. I can get you there if you will just trust me." He did not wait for an answer but spun her around and put one arm under her breasts as he launched them both into the frigid waters of the Atlantic ocean.