3rd EGO (Part 1 of 2)

TRIGGER WARNING: Sensitive content ahead. Read at your own risk.

RYUICHI

( “RYUICHI… listen. Kapag nahanap mo na ang iyong Omega mate, alagaan at mahalin mo siya ha? Lagi mong tandaan: Omegas are fragile.”)

Napabalikwas ako ng bangon habang hinihingal at pinagpapawisan nang husto. “Shit…” I cursed softly as I brought my right hand to my forehead and gently massaged it while frowning.

[Why did I have that dream again?] I thought I’ve forgotten about it, inis kong wari sa isipan at napabuntong-hininga ng may halong dismaya.

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[FLASHBACK]

When I was a child, I was showered with so much love and kindness. Both my parents made sure to give me everything and tended to my need.

I was happy back then… and was too young to understand the real meaning of that kindness.

“*Kaa-san [Mother], what is a fated pair and soul bond?” I asked curiously while holding a book about simplified Omegaverse and showed it to her. I was eight when I asked that stupid question.

My mother who was calm and smiling, carefully caressed my cheek before she giggled. “Are you interested?” she asked as if testing me if I really wanted to know.

I nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Yes! Please?”

She giggled again before talking, “Alright. Listen carefully. Okay?”

“Okay,” I agreed and waited anxiously for her to tell me the details.

“Fated pairs or soul bonds are rare. Some say that it has already become a legend. It has different effects on every person. You’ll just know it when you find your fated pair. Somehow, you will find yourself drawn to that person without any reason,” she explained without breaking her smile.

“Why can’t Betas be someone’s fated pair?” I asked in a sad tone.

“Betas have their reasons, too, Ryuichi.”

“Kaa-san, are you and *Tou-san [Father] fated pairs?” I asked in both curiosity and hope that they were. How I wish I didn’t ask that.

For a moment, she stayed quiet and just stared at me. I was wondering why but only waited for her to answer me like she always did whenever I asked her random things.

“Ryuichi… listen. Kapag nahanap mo na ang iyong Omega mate, alagaan at mahalin mo siya, ha? Lagi mong tandaan: Omegas are fragile.” Those words left me puzzled. She didn’t discuss it with me any further and told me to study instead.

My mother was an Omega and my father was an Alpha. For as long as I can remember, I have never seen them argue over trivial things. They were always happy. They loved each other.

Until that day came…

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“Kaa-san, I’m home!” excited kong bati, bitbit ang isang medal na natanggap ko matapos akong mag-top one sa klase.

Karaniwan ko siyang naaabutan sa kusina na nagluluto ng aming hapunan pero medyo nadismaya ako nang wala siya doon. May mga pagkain na hindi pa naluluto at iniwan lang. Nagpasya akong pumanhik sa kwarto nila ni Tou-san. Nagbaka sakali akong pagod siya at naisipang umidlip sandali pero hindi na namalayan ang oras.

Mahigpit pa ring bitbit ang aking medalya, akmang bubuksan ko na sana ang pinto nang may marinig akong ungol na tila nasasaktan. Napaatras ako, napasinghap, at mabilis na tinakpan ang aking bibig gamit ang kamay ko na may dalang medalya.

“Pakiusap, tama na,” nagmamakaawang wika ng isang umiiyak na boses.

Kay Kaa-san ang boses na ‘yon! sigaw ko sa aking isipan kasabay ng pagtulo ng luha ko.

“Bakit ka nagrereklamo, honey? Araw-araw naman nating ginagawa ito,” wika ng isang boses, kay Tou-san iyon.

“Pakiusap, pauwi na si Ryuichi. Baka maabutan niya tayo nang ganito,” umiiyak pa ring pagmamakaawa ni Kaa-san.

“Ano’ng kinatatakutan mong makita niya? O baka naman… ayaw mong malaman ng iyong anak na ang kanyang ina ay isang malanding Omega?” ani Tou-san.

“Tumigil ka na! Pakiusap!” Bahagyang tumaas ang boses ni Kaa-san. “Argh!” Isang tila nasasaktang sigaw ang bigla niyang pinakawalan at lalo akong nabahala.

Sa mga sandaling iyon ay ginusto ko nang pumasok at tulungan ang aking ina ngunit natigilan ako nang muling magsalita si Tou-san.

“Ano sa tingin mo ang iisipin sa ‘yo ni Ryuichi kapag nalaman niyang ang minamahal niyang ina ay nakatali sa iba?”

Napasinghap ako at marahil ay narinig nila ako dahil tinawag ni Kaa-san ang pangalan ko.

“Ryuichi…?” ani Kaa-san. “Ryuichi, anak, ikaw ba ‘yan?

Hindi ako kumibo. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nangyayari. Ito ang unang pagkakataong narinig ko silang ganito na tila walang pagmamahal sa isa’t isa sa paraan ng pananalita nila.

“Good timing!” exclaimed Tou-san. “Don’t you think our son deserves to know the truth?”

“The truth…?” I repeated in a soft voice bago suminghot.

“Please, huwag! Hindi ito ang tamang panahon para malaman ni Ryuichi ang tungkol sa bagay na ‘yan!” depensa ni Kaa-san.

“Tumahimik ka!” singhal ni Tou-san sa kanya. “Ryuichi, pumasok ka,” biglang utos nito sa ‘kin at napaigtad ako sa kaba.

“Pero…” nag-aalinlangan kong pakli.

“Sige na,” sulsol ni Tou-san.

“Ryuichi, huwag kang pumasok! Please!”

“Shut up, you shitty Omega!” Tou-san shouted.

Natatakot akong pumasok. Ano ang makikita at malalaman ko sa oras na sinunod ko si Tou-san?

“Ryuichi, pakiusap! Pumunta ka sa mga lolo’t lola mo! Iwan mo na kami dito!” pagtataboy ni Kaa-san sa akin pero nanaig ang nais kong malaman ang sinasabi ni Tou-san na katotohanan.

Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pinto. Beyond that door was something that might change my life forever. I knew it but still… I didn’t want to be a stranger who didn’t know anything.

The moment the door was wide open, there she was — my Omega mother — being pinned down by my Alpha father while naked. She had these white, sticky stuff all over her body and she was heavily crying. My father looked like a psychotic maniac; snickering for no reason.

My eyes widened in total disbelief while my mouth gaped open. Nabitawan ko na lang bigla ang hawak-hawak kong medalya na sabik ko pa naman sanang ipakita sa babaeng laging nagbigay sa akin ng kabaitan at walang sawang pagmamahal.

“You see, Ryuichi, matagal na tayong pinagloloko ng ina mo,” pagsisimula ni Tou-san at tinitigan akong maigi. “All along, she made us believe na tayo lang ang pinakamahalaga sa kanya ngunit nitong nakaraang taon, nahuli ko ang hayop na ito na nakikipagtalik sa ibang lalake!” sigaw ni Tou-san at nagsimula na siyang mawalan nang bait sa sobrang gigil at galit na animo’y kulang na lang at sasakalin na niya si Kaa-san.

“Kaa-san… totoo po ba?” umiiyak at hindi makapaniwala kong tanong.

“Ryuichi—! Urk!” She tried to talk but Tou-san took a strong grip on her neck and began strangling her.

“Manahimik ka! Taksil!” Tou-san growled.

“Kaa-san!” natatakot kong tawag sa aking ina at tinangkang lapitan siya pero tinapunan ako ng isang matalim na tingin ng aking ama kaya napaatras ako.

“Ryuichi! I’m so sorry, anak! I’m so s-sorry!” humahagulgol na pagpapaumanhin ni Kaa-san at sinubukang manlaban ngunit mas malakas si Tou-san. “Ryuichi… *minaide [Please don’t look],” she pleaded before bursting into tears again.

“I will fucking kill you, you bitch!”

“Tou-san, don’t! Kaa-san is hurt!” pagtatanggol ko pero pinigilan niya ako gamit lamang ang mga mata niyang nagpupuyos sa galit. Para bang sinasabi nitong papatayin din niya ako kung makikialam ako.

As a child and still a weakling, I had no choice but to watch my mother being beaten by my father multiple times and cried while she was molested. I kept calling out to her until I went weak and horrified by the traumatic scene.

A fews days later, my grandparents went to pick me up. Everything seemed a blur. Pinaliwanag nila ang lahat sa akin. They told me that my mother suddenly met her fated pair two years earlier. You see, whether you are already bonded with someone and happen to see your fated pair, you will end up being drawn to them. That was what happened to my mother.

Tou-san loved her so much. He couldn’t accept the fact that he lost the person he cared for so much in a blink. They promised to love each other no matter what happened. It just so happened that Kaa-san met her fated pair at a wrong time and place.

The shock caused too much emotional damage to my father that he had a mental breakdown and was no longer capable to take care of me. They told me that Kaa-san was safe but she already decided to leave us. All she left to me was a note saying:

I’m sorry for lying to you all this time. I am an Omega, after all. Ryuichi, forget about me and move on. I’ll be living a happy life now… without you in it.

Kaa-san

I thought that maybe they were trying to brainwash me but it was exactly her handwriting. It broke my innocent heart and my trust.

From then on, I promised myself never to trust an Omega anymore. I hated her since then and wished she never became my mother.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

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Continue to part 2....