We started to eat the fish that Naoki grilled calmly and stopping the heartburn caused by hunger, my throat is a little better because of Hiroki's massage a while ago.
"When we finish eating, we will leave," said Hiroki unawares, I open my eyes very confused.
"Where to?" I ask him "All the villages must be full of soldiers and....
"There is one that has no soldiers," he interrupts me, "a very forgotten village: it is across this river, crossing the forest to the north. It was owned by Momoyama, but nobody remembers that town since the war" I have never heard of that town until now... it seems so strange to me, that so many years of education I have never heard of this town or this kingdom, my father never mentioned it to me and I don't understand why my governesses gave me any lessons about Momoyama.
When we finish eating, we start walking as Hiroki said and head north, further away from the capital where the castle is. The sun is a little hot and combined with the tiredness, it gives me a headache, soon the summer will come, it is normal that in these last months it is too hot. We have walked for at least an hour since we left the river, and we have not rested at any time.
"Hey Hiroki, how far is it to that village?" I ask to know at least how far is this trip that feels so eternal.
"at least two days" he replies curtly.
This had to be a joke, "it's really going to take us two days to go to a filthy village", if that's the closest I don't want to imagine the farthest. After a good stretch of long walk and without stopping to rest, my body has no more energy, every step I take my head hurts more and I sweat a lot more; again my throat starts to burn too much, I sweat excessively, yesterday that we walked more I didn't sweat this way, but I feel all the sun on my face.
"Princess, your cheeks are very red" said Naoki already quite worried, I start to see his face blurred and I try to lean on him "are you ok?" he asks me very uneasy, I nod in order not to worry anyone, I already put them through a lot of trouble and I really don't want to be a bother anymore "Hiroki... I think we should stop to rest... the princess doesn't look well..."
"and you hardly realize how lazy she is" he said jokingly without noticing to look at me or turn his face."this is not a joke!" Naoki recasts in annoyance, already very disgruntled. I start to feel that now everything is spinning around me, my feet can't take it anymore and my body fails completely. Hiroki finally turns around
"NO!" Hiroki exclaims, at the exact moment he holds me and prevents me from falling. I lie down on a log and with Hiroki's strong hand he touches my face lightly measuring the temperature "damn!" he startles stressed "you're burning" he is puzzled, I'm still barely conscious that I can't hear him very well "we can't stay here, we have to move forward" he said taking me by the waist and carrying me in his arms so we don't get left behind.
We continued our journey, without any rest; I was coughing less and less, but I still felt horrible; until the sun went down and the moon appeared sheltering the night.
"Aren't you tired?" I ask Hiroki who kept carrying me all night, the truth is that I feel very bad... I bother him again now with such a horrible cold that doesn't even let me rest.
"that doesn't matter, I promised I would protect you" I feel a strange burning in my chest that doesn't come from my discomfort, this burning consumes me when I hear those words, when I see Hiroki I feel a tranquility that I know that in his lap I am safe and that nothing will happen to me if I stay by his side, the truth is that I am very grateful to him for what he has done for me...
We stop to rest by a pond. Hiroki carefully lays me down on the grass that was no longer wet like yesterday, Naoki lends me his cloak to use as a pillow and Hiroki uses his cloak to use as a blanket. It's nice that they used their things to take care of me. Hiroki runs his hand over my forehead again...
"We have to lower your temperature," said Hiroki in a hurry not knowing what to do, "I need a cloth or something to wet it with to put it on her forehead," I touch Hiroki's hand signaling him to tear the other sleeve of the dress to make the cloth. He forcefully rips the sleeve and dips it in the cold lake, wrings it out by rolling it up, removing the excess water so that it is just wet, returns with the rag, folds it and spreads it all over my forehead removing the fringe of my hair.
The water of that lagoon is freezing cold, but it helped to reduce the fever and it was also a little refreshing... we remembered that we had left some fish; so we shared them so we wouldn't go to bed hungry, mostly me because of the tiredness I have to eat to not get worse, but I had problems just trying to sit down and eat, but at least I was fed, I just know that I am very thirsty and we have nothing to drink water with, Hiroki lights his light, taking a big leaf thrown on the ground of a tree, to roll it up and give me to drink, the truth that the lagoon is not dirty as such, and Hiroki knows about these things so it won't be a problem to drink it.Hiroki stayed by my side all night taking care of me, always asking if I needed anything; maybe in his heart he is tender and attentive, he just rarely shows it, I understand his way of changing his attitude, but without leaving that frowning expression all the time, maybe he doesn't want to look weak to avoid any threat, maybe he gives me a sign to trust him.
For Hiroki it has been a very long night, as he has been very vigilant, he barely slept and every time I made any movement he was always attentive to any discomfort, the cough also left him so uneasy and every time he could he massaged my back to calm it down a little.
I wake up in the morning sun, feeling a little better thanks to Hiroki's care, I look beside me and see him awake looking at me almost staring.
"How are you feeling?" Hiroki asks very attentively.
"A... A little better..." I answer him with my cheeks a little bit burning, seriously I feel a little ashamed for making him spend such a bad night, although his face doesn't show tiredness, I consider that he is a very strong person. Hiroki approaches me and runs his hand on my forehead.
"The fever has gone down... I think it was just a little discomfort from tiredness and I see you don't have a cold anymore. That's good... Will you be able to walk the rest of the way?" I nod affirming that I have good conditions to continue with the trip, the truth is that I don't want them to continue worrying about me, but I will be more careful so that this embarrassing situation doesn't happen "for now stay, wait until Naoki wakes up. In the meantime I'm leaving" she gets up from the grass without adding anything else....
"Where are you going?" I ask her, because I really didn't want to be alone. But he ignores me and leaves. I sit for a few minutes pondering, then stand up and fold Hiroki's cloak. Naoki slowly wakes up, yawns and rests his eyes on me.
"And Hiroki?" he asks in a lazy, hoarse voice.
"He left and didn't tell me where he was going."
"How strange... I wonder where he usually goes."
It's strange that Hiroki never tells us where he goes, I feel that he hides something from us, I really want to think that he just goes for a walk and wants to be alone because he is a very introverted person, very quiet and reserved, he is always very cautious, maybe... he just wants to think about his things, but I prefer to ignore him because they are Hiroki's things and after what Satoshi made me go through I don't want to know anything else.We made the fire, roasted raw fish left over from yesterday to prepare; I was still thirsty.... But we didn't have anything to boil the lake water with, to tell the truth, even though it wasn't dirty last night I didn't drink much water, Hiroki didn't want me to get a stomach upset and then it would get worse, but the truth is that we need some water.
"Are you thirsty?" Naoki asks, I nod touching my throat still a little sore, the sore throat must be because of the screaming I did when we escaped and the encounter with the bear, the tiredness only made my vocal area worse. Naoki takes out a small glass of wine from his pockets.
"Are you sure it's washed, where did you get it?"
"Since the party, I kept it for myself and kept it; I forgot I had it until now" it seems very inconvenient that he remembers at this moment when I need it the most, but I just think how he couldn't remember us dying of thirst by a river. He washes the cup in the pond and collects some of it, then he brings it closer to the fire, the water starts to create small bubbles "now you can drink it" he extends his hand. I receive it and take it in one gulp, wanting to relieve the pain in my throat. At least it quenches my thirst a little.
"Won't you drink water?" I ask.
"Don't worry, I'm fine," he smiles. It's so nice that he didn't worry about his own wellbeing and instead he worries about mine.
Hiroki was taking a little while, the sun was about to set at noon. I was wondering where he was and if something bad hadn't happened to him, it makes me very angry that he doesn't take responsibility for his actions without telling us, even if it's where he would go to not worry so much; Naoki only consoles me to not feel so worried and says that he is very strong and impossible for any animal to hurt him if he knows how to defend himself very well, but even so my head is very treacherous and I only thought that I was not going to see him again, that the soldiers found him and that I was going to be alone without any hope of surviving.
"Were they waiting for me?" asks the voice that is somehow so irritating, it's what I want to hear and it calms me down quickly. I burst into tears in his warm lap and knew it was what I missed the most "what's wrong with you, you're crazy!" he recasts annoyed and confused.
"I was so worried! You fool!" I yell at him and with red cheeks and tears in my black eyes.
He just stays quiet and lets me cry in peace, in the blanket of his warm and protective lap, not knowing how to comfort me, he is really the only person who makes me feel safe and comfortable even as annoying as he is, but I know he is the most needed being in my life and I just can't afford to lose him?
During the walk there was only tension, but it was a mild tension that you could break just by putting a topic to avoid the awkward silence, since I hugged Hiroki and confirmed that I missed him, I have felt so embarrassed; I had some questions like why I missed him if he knows how to defend himself, it's unlikely that a wild animal could give him a scratch; but there is something I keep thinking about and that is his chest so warm, it is something familiar because it is practically the same feeling I had every time Satoshi hugged me; however Hiroki's chest makes my heart beat so fast, it makes my chest burn. My sensations make my tension rise and all I want is to break the ice in my mind and not to think about this kind of absurd nonsense.
I approach Hiroki slowly while standing next to him.
"Hey Hiroki..." he makes a noise of irritation and attention "what took you so long?" I ask him curiously, he rolls his eyes very annoyed by me.
"first I'm going to tell you two things, one: stay out of my business and two: you don't care about anything I did" he said very inconsiderate and curt; I get angry to such a point because of his nonsense answer, no discretion of discomfort; he is so irritating that the feeling I had just had is gone.
"you are so rude!" I exclaimed to make his low manners clear.
"and you're a silly and hollow girl who thinks everything revolves around her" he insults me exalting me, I stop avoiding the step to give my posture and he just looks at me in a defiant and annoying way "move away" he orders me, I cross my arms not to give him way and let him listen to me.
"You're rude! I don't understand your damn attitude, what's wrong with you bull face? I'm trying to be nice to you and you're just annoying and annoying" I insult him giving him to understand my annoyance.
"Me a nuisance? If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be alive" he throws me in my face "I could have just left you lying there to let you die and until now I wonder why I didn't do that" We look at each other defiantly very annoyed, Hiroki is a fool without any scruples and without education "how dare he say these things?" he throws me in my face as if it was my fault, I never told my father to tell him that he was going to protect me.
Suddenly an arrow shoots out at full speed, Hiroki manages to see it and pulls my arm with force making me stick to his body grazing is in my hair avoiding to be killed by that arrow.
"b..b...-but what..." I stammer scared at such an act, I can only think that they found us, the soldiers are here and they have found us.
We look in all directions without a trace, but I can't distinguish anyone, Hiroki just stares straight ahead, and when I turn my face I notice figures of people among the trees and bushes.In the shadows of the trees a boy's face is visible; he is young, not very tall, his expressions are threatening, the same as Hiroki's, he has the same frown, greenish eyes, brown hair and is at least 17 years old. Seeing Hiroki changes his gesture changes in a couple of seconds and stops frowning to a surprised of old memories, Hiroki stares at him and I can't understand what is happening, I can't understand why Hiroki doesn't do anything to him if he tried to kill me with the arrow, he just stays surprised without turning away from me.
"Brother..." Hiroki addressed that young man as his brother....
I can't believe Hiroki had a brother, I always thought he was a loner, at least an only child, but I never thought he had any relatives close to him (and less with his rude attitude).From his appearance he doesn't give me the impression that he's a prince and he looks younger, I guess he's Hiroki's younger brother, however, they don't look much alike, Hiroki has abundant and long reddish hair, almost the same color of fire or a sunset, deep black eyes and a defined face, but his "brother" has brown hair, greenish eyes and his face is younger. Instead, his appearance is somewhat attractive and cute, he looks more friendly than Hiroki really, since Hiroki just gets a bad face all the time and is always curt."I can't believe you're back.." he throws himself on Hiroki with a nostalgic hug that looks like it's been a long time since he had contact with him. I am speechless, I am surprised and perplexed without knowing what is happening, I open my eyes lik
It was time to go to sleep. Aunt Akiyama assigns me a room at the back of the mansion, she leaves me in a room, orders me to enter, and seeing Hiroki inside, I'm surprised "I'm going to share a room with him?" "wait for me here, I'll go get some pillows" she tries to leave the room to leave us alone, I stop her. "wait, don't tell me I have to share a room with Hiroki" this will be very uncomfortable if she says yes because we are not married and the wisest thing to do is to sleep separately. "Of course it is, after all, you are getting married soon, so you have the whole night to be alone" he winks with a naughty look "don't be shy" he gives me a slap on the back trying to motivate me. He leaves the room leaving us alone a silence overwhelms us instantly, I look at Hiroki very embarrassed not knowing what to tell him or what to do. "Don't worry, I'll sleep far away from you. I
"Attention!" said one of the generals "Prince Satoshi proclaims that, if you find Princess Naomi, be requested to the castle; the king wishes to see her, and if you find two young men, a man with bright red hair and a uniformed general; please report, they kidnapped the princess!" he warned. I open my eyes in surprise listening behind the door. "But what a lie...", I am so terrified, my heart in my mouth about to faint right here. I know more than anyone that Satoshi was lying, that he was the real traitor what angers me the most is that now because of him Hiroki is in great danger, I'm not so worried about Naoki, he can go unnoticed wearing another clothes.... but Hiroki... I can't let Satoshi take away the person who has helped me. The commanders left instantly after his request while we were locked in the mansion. I hold a hand to my chest in shock, terrified; I want to vomit from fear. Tears well up around my cheeks and
I wake up excited the next morning, it was earlier than I usually wake up. I have breakfast enough to have more energy, besides I was very hungry because I had not eaten well the last days, the aunt for this occasion lends me another Kimono looser, in the upper part it is white and has a kind of black pants. I go to see Hiroki in the forest not far from the village, at the edge of the forest where I was sitting the other day with Hiroki's brother. Hiroki is waiting for me sitting on a rock with only a bow. "I see you woke up earlier than you usually wake up" he raises a sarcastic eyebrow. "That's as early as I can get up" I try to force a smile. "Well, princess, we'll start with something basic for you; we'll use the bow." "why can't I start with the sword?" "It's heavy and not yet suitable for you, besides I don't want to see you complaining about me changing
"What are you..." I want to be sure of what I think, I want to be sure of what I've been told, I want to be sure of what's in your heart."I already told you once.... I repeat the same question to you Do you still think I'm doing it to keep my promise?""You... you have a lot of loyalty to my father" I answer him very uneasily, he nails his gaze that doesn't let me blink."I have loyalty to you..." he answers me without adding more, he looks at my lips without dissimulation, I without knowing what to answer him remained in total silence, without words, only confusion.... My heart beats very strong "I will make you feel as uncomfortable as possible every time you feel alone" he smiles, he gets up without saying any other comment leaving me with more doubts.He somehow overwhelms me, he stays in my mind without knowing why and only makes me feel a pit in my stomach like I'm
A few hours later... I have no contact with Hiroki, nor with Naoki, it was so uncomfortable to have to see them that I just avoided them. It would be more tense to have to sleep with him, in the same room?What should I do; I practically performed a tantrum giving him to understand that I like him when it dawned on me that he liked Kyoto. "But how stupid."I sit in the meadow with Hiroki's bow next to me... and I really don't want it in my sight, but now it's the only thing that can protect myself. Suddenly I feel a very penetrating look next to me, I turn my face and it's.... Hiroki, he is staring at me and seems to want to get closer.The truth is that I feel so comfortable here that I feel lazy to leave, but... I don't want to see him, I don't want to talk to him and I don't pretend to apologize either, I watch him for a couple of minutes, I get up from the grass a little wet from yesterday's rain. He opens his mouth a little, wanting to say somethin
That night was not difficult to master. I fall asleep smoothly from the horrible psychological exhaustion, I begin to dream of a memory, the memory of the firefly garden. I was with my mother, Satoshi and Soshi when we were children and we watched the stars and some fireflies lighting up the dark sky...."Mom, look!" my smiling little girl pointed before my mother died, a week before she passed away. The star I pointed to was a shooting star."Make a wish, dear" she said so lovingly, her image will never fade from my mind. I closed my eyes making that inner wish."What did you wish for?" asks little Satoshi."I'm not going to tell you, it's se-cret" I stuck out my tongue amused "it's secret...""Come on! Tell me" he insisted."I wished... That we'll always be together" I smiled at him. Remembering this, I could fee
After spending a few hours that I did not move from my bed all day reflecting, so much so that Hiroki came to imagine that I was sick. All I could think about was everything that was going on and the last thing I wanted was to disappear. Everything comes out so fast, it was like being in a dream, a nightmare that I want to wake up from. "Naomi... I brought you food" interrupts the voice that was the only way to give me strength. "Thank you Hiroki" I give a half smile "but I'm not hungry." "Still, you have to eat or you'll get sicker" he insists so kindly. I nodded offering the food. He sits next to me to give me teriyaki as a little girl. "What did you talk to Satoshi about?" she suddenly asks which threw me out of place. With difficulty I swallow the food without answering her anything about it. "h-how do you know..." "Soshi your little friend confess
I had a dream, a very strange dream, a dream where I was in the palace, in the courtyard where the fountain was and admired the crystal clear water dripping and the darkness of the cold night that sheltered the nostalgic atmosphere. I had my princess and high class clothes, I felt strange to have to wear this again, I got used to have comfortable clothes, I feel free and at ease.I hear my father calling me from the throne room, I just followed the sound of his voice. I enter the palace confused, a shiver runs down my back and I do not find my father. On the king's throne there was only a shadow, the figure of a woman, tall, the palace dark and gloomy; there were no lanterns, I did not recognize her face, she was just sitting there, then everything was on fire and the woman disappeared, she suddenly scared me and I jumped.It was already daylight, I remembered that I had stayed in Soshi's room for two days to sleep, since Hiroki and I didn't talk again since the fight in the forest an
That night was hard to master, I was so tense and so full of anger that I didn't sleep very well. I only thought about how I gave my heart in this way, and then crushed it in the same way.It's ugly to think that things have already gotten so complicated that I can't forgive anymore. I don't know how I'm going to look that traitor in the eyes, should I be considerate, should he have to explain something to me; it's just that in his eyes you can see the depth of wanting to explain to me? My mother once told me that, in tragedies, I would always have to ask the moon to accompany me, so that when I have been stabbed in the back before, at least I would have a companion who would never do it....The next day I go to practice far away from the village and the mansion, I feel like a traitor hiding lies from Hiroki, I feel unfaithful, I feel dishonest. But in part I am also upset with Satoshi, he did it to separate us too and he thinks I will return to his arms and he is very
When I was a child, my mother used to tell me that I had to be wise in choosing a husband. She was always very fond of Satoshi, it was likely that she would have liked to have chosen him, I wondered if she would think the same of Hiroki, would she have the same affection? Would she accept him? My father wanted this for my welfare, both mine and that of the kingdom. Even though I had refused, it's ironic isn't it? From going from refusing to be compulsorily married to Hiroki, loving Satoshi, I ended up doing the opposite. I love Hiroki and I no longer want to marry Satoshi, I ended that relationship, something I didn't want to happen before, what would my mother think about it? Probably my father would have told me "I told you so" with a mocking smile as he used to do when I was little and I was very stubborn, in that aspect I haven't changed... I'm still a very stubborn girl, I'm changing but I'm still the same... I look at the sky nostalgic watching
My conscience is clear, my emotions altered. Satoshi has to know, that I can no longer feel the same, that I can no longer continue to punish us for something that can no longer be repaired. Maybe it wasn't his fault and it wasn't his intention, it's hard to feel something again without hurting or fracturing us.To think that we could be something in the future, to rule as a couple is? Hard, difficult and more when you assimilate that it is perfect when it is not. Things changed and if they changed it was because of something, "cause of destiny" as my mother would say.Soshi listens to me attentively sitting next to me eating a little, I find it curious that Hiroki doesn't feel any kind of jealousy towards Soshi? because he knows that we are like two drops of water, we are like brothers, so to speak.Soshi helps me to eat since my right arm was the one that got hurt and now it will be very difficult to try to do some physical activity. It st
The next morning, Satoshi was gone; I woke up and he left without saying goodbye. I guess it was normal for him to be upset with me; I hurt him and even we all hurt each other, I also insulted Hiroki last night; and for a change ending up in a mess with Satoshi, this is getting out of hand; every day there are problems, there is always an argument to deal with, confusions come, fear.... And say "I don't know what to do anymore".In my head everything is spinning, my thoughts are tangled, things are going from bad to worse, but somehow, I need a solution from the smallest to the one that is affecting me the most. I give a long sigh of stress, get out of bed, put on some slippers and leave the mansion to clear my mind.I try to breathe in the fresh air and see the quietness of the morning, it was the only thing that brought me peace. I start to think: "if I'm not the woman Hiroki really loves... I think I have to accept it even though I deny it, who would re
After spending a few hours that I did not move from my bed all day reflecting, so much so that Hiroki came to imagine that I was sick. All I could think about was everything that was going on and the last thing I wanted was to disappear. Everything comes out so fast, it was like being in a dream, a nightmare that I want to wake up from. "Naomi... I brought you food" interrupts the voice that was the only way to give me strength. "Thank you Hiroki" I give a half smile "but I'm not hungry." "Still, you have to eat or you'll get sicker" he insists so kindly. I nodded offering the food. He sits next to me to give me teriyaki as a little girl. "What did you talk to Satoshi about?" she suddenly asks which threw me out of place. With difficulty I swallow the food without answering her anything about it. "h-how do you know..." "Soshi your little friend confess
That night was not difficult to master. I fall asleep smoothly from the horrible psychological exhaustion, I begin to dream of a memory, the memory of the firefly garden. I was with my mother, Satoshi and Soshi when we were children and we watched the stars and some fireflies lighting up the dark sky...."Mom, look!" my smiling little girl pointed before my mother died, a week before she passed away. The star I pointed to was a shooting star."Make a wish, dear" she said so lovingly, her image will never fade from my mind. I closed my eyes making that inner wish."What did you wish for?" asks little Satoshi."I'm not going to tell you, it's se-cret" I stuck out my tongue amused "it's secret...""Come on! Tell me" he insisted."I wished... That we'll always be together" I smiled at him. Remembering this, I could fee
A few hours later... I have no contact with Hiroki, nor with Naoki, it was so uncomfortable to have to see them that I just avoided them. It would be more tense to have to sleep with him, in the same room?What should I do; I practically performed a tantrum giving him to understand that I like him when it dawned on me that he liked Kyoto. "But how stupid."I sit in the meadow with Hiroki's bow next to me... and I really don't want it in my sight, but now it's the only thing that can protect myself. Suddenly I feel a very penetrating look next to me, I turn my face and it's.... Hiroki, he is staring at me and seems to want to get closer.The truth is that I feel so comfortable here that I feel lazy to leave, but... I don't want to see him, I don't want to talk to him and I don't pretend to apologize either, I watch him for a couple of minutes, I get up from the grass a little wet from yesterday's rain. He opens his mouth a little, wanting to say somethin
"What are you..." I want to be sure of what I think, I want to be sure of what I've been told, I want to be sure of what's in your heart."I already told you once.... I repeat the same question to you Do you still think I'm doing it to keep my promise?""You... you have a lot of loyalty to my father" I answer him very uneasily, he nails his gaze that doesn't let me blink."I have loyalty to you..." he answers me without adding more, he looks at my lips without dissimulation, I without knowing what to answer him remained in total silence, without words, only confusion.... My heart beats very strong "I will make you feel as uncomfortable as possible every time you feel alone" he smiles, he gets up without saying any other comment leaving me with more doubts.He somehow overwhelms me, he stays in my mind without knowing why and only makes me feel a pit in my stomach like I'm