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Chapter Thirty Seven
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I took a deep breath, making my chest heave. He didn’t touch me. His forearms rest against the door on either side of my head and his hips hovered just above mine. I still felt him—everywhere. His breath fanning across my lips. His thumbs flirting with my hair. His thigh brushing mine as he stepped forward.
“You’re not the only one hiding things, Brenda. You’re not the only one who thinks they’re unable to hold down something for more than one night.” He breathed the words over my mouth, his lips millimeters from mine. “I want to understand you. I want to know why you’re pushing me away when it’s not really what you want.”
I blinked at him. “What if I want to know yours, too?”
Ivan dipped his head and kissed the tender spot below my ear. “I’ll tell you mine if you promise to tell me yours,” he whispered.
“You first?”
He nodded, pulling his he
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WILD ADDICTION Chapter Thirty Eight
I had butterflies. They were forceful, churning my stomach until I felt sick. I barely slept that night—my mind was full of contradictions over whether sticking this thing out with Ivan was the right thing to do. I went back and forward so many times that I was pretty sure I had mental whiplash.In the end, I decided that it was too late. I was done. I already agreed to see him tonight. I couldn’t back out for a second time. Besides, regardless of the numerous red flags waving like crazy in my mind, I wanted it.And in the end, that was all it came down to.My phone buzzed from between the sofa cushions. I dug it out and pulled up a text from Ivan.I saw Day’s pictures of you.And?And you should consider wearing that pink camisole tonight. And by consider, I mean put it on now.And the stockings?I’m not a fan of white. It’s too innocent. Tan ones. With thos
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Thirty Nine
It was smooth and sleek, his accent crawled over me. When I looked up, it was into his eyes. Ivan took my hand and tugged me up. I flattened my free hand against his chest and met his eyes.“Hi.”The car rumbled away behind us, and Ivan’s lips quirked. “Hi.” He pulled me into the building after him. My heels clicked against the marble floor as we walked, and he glanced back at me more than once with heat in his eyes.The elevator ride was suffocating. The walls seemed to close in on us as we traveled upward. Anticipation swirled of what was to come. Excitement buzzed across my skin, affecting my whole body until I could feel my pulse thrumming at my neck.The doors opened slowly. Too slowly. It seemed like an hour passed until they were completely open, and I took a deep breathe when we stepped out. My fingers tingled where they were wrapped in Ivan’s, and I felt the loss immediately when we entered his apartment and he
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Forty
He skimmed his hands down to my hips. With a firm grasp on them, he brushed his nose against the inside of my thigh, prompting me to open my legs slightly. I could feel his breath on one thigh, his cheek on the other, and the nudge of his nose by my panties.“You’re so wet already. I can smell you. I can see it. There’s a little damp patch on these panties.” He pulled them down my legs and guided my feet out of them.After taking back the same position, he urged me to open my legs wider. I did, thankful for his grip to balance me. My legs were trembling so hard that I didn’t think I could take a step without stumbling.He touched his tongue to me, running it lightly over my opening. “You like having your wrists tied, babe?”He licked me again and I let out a shuddery breath.“Answer the question.” He pulled back and nipped my butt.“Yes,” I moaned.“Good.” H
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Forty One
He grasped my hips yet again and slammed into me, his skin slapping against mine, and I cried out loudly. Each of his movements now was fast, hard, and relentless. The end goal—pleasure—was all that mattered at this moment.And in a swirling cloud of pressure and helplessness and heat, it consumed me. Body and soul, I gave myself over to the intense high rushing through my veins and caused me to tremble.When it subsided and I could think clearly again, I felt Ivan’s forehead against my lower back. He reached between us and undid the scarf around my wrists. My arms fell limply to my sides, and I crawled them up the bed and under my head. My breathing was heavy and his was the same.We’re both totally spent, so we lied here, he still buried inside me, and catched our breath.After a few minutes, he sat up and pulled out of me. “The bathroom is next door if you want to use it.”I nodded my head and pushed myself up
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Forty Two
“You could at least let me put clean panties on before you come barging in here like you own the place.”My best friend looked at me like I was crazy. Well, maybe I am. I am wrapped in a Hello Kitty towel.“By all means, Brenda. Put some panties on. Never mind the rest of your damn clothes.” She rolled her eyes and sat on my sofa. “Never mind that we have, like, ten bridal stores to scour today to find your dress.”“Okay, Day. The bridal stores will still be there in an hour. It’s not like aliens are going to suddenly appear and beam them all up.”She shot me the kind of look that would crumble diamond and I smiled. Bitch didn’t bother me. I wiggled my fingers at her and pranced into my bedroom. I was just pulling a bra out of my drawer when she yelled at me.“I know you fucked him last night!”“Fucked who? My vibrator?”“Ivan.”I sn
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Forty Three
“You winced.” Gold star for stating the obvious, Brenda.“I’m still adjusting to Aaron’s…ease of spending,” she said uncertainly.“We don’t have to get this dress.” I grabbed the price tag. Two thousand dollars? Holy shit! “Okay, we definitely don’t have to get this dress.”“No, we do.” She sighed. “Aside from the fact this dress is fucking perfect for you, I was given a preapproved list of wedding boutiques.” She pursed her lips.A bubble of laughter bursted from me. “Are you kidding me?”“I wish. He gave me six stores to find you a bridesmaid dress. I added the other four. He said, and I quote, ’Baby, I don’t give a shit how much you spend on a fucking bridesmaid dress. What matters to me is that you have the wedding you’ve always dreamed of—regardless of the cost. So go to these stores and shop up a sto
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Forty Four
He stepped out of the elevator, and the logo on his sweater was of a local private courier company. I frowned sign for the package and walked back into the apartment. I placed it on my kitchen table and studied it. The box was plain aside from my name scrawled on it.Tentatively, I opened it and pushed the tissue paper aside. And I stared right at a fucking blue lingerie set.Close your eyes, Liv. Deep breaths. Deep brea—Fuck this shit. I shoved my feet in my Uggs and tied my hair in a knot on top of my head, barely stopping to grab a zipped sweater before swiping my car keys and flying down the stairs. That assuming bastard. That annoying, assuming, forceful bastard.I called Dayton and switched it to hands-free, pulled out of the parking lot.“Miss me already?”“Fuck off. Do you know where Ivan is?”“Already? Really, Brenda.”“Oh, believe me. He’s about to get fu
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Forty Five
My phone rang, breaking through the silence. I grabbed it and held my breath when my agent’s name flashed on the screen.“Modester,” I answer.“Brenda! Fantastic news. Balfour are interested in you coming in for a test shoot. Are you free Thursday?”“What time?”“Between twelve and three.”I ran through my shifts in my head. “Yes, at twelve. I’m supposed to work at one, but Donny won’t mind.” As long as I wore an extra-tight, extra-low-cut shirt that day.“Fabulous. I’ll call them back to confirm. Also, you should know they’re testing twenty girls.”“Ouch.”“That was my first thought—but I have confidence in you, Brenda. And I have a question.”“Hmm?”“Were you comfortable shooting with Ivan?”Oh, I was comfortable all right. “Yep.”&l
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WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Seven
My lips formed a wide grin. “Okay. I think my need for information is sated. For now.” “Good. And now I guess we have to get to my gritty stuff, right?” I nodded. “I fessed up. Now it’s your turn.” “Okay.” He grabbed his mug of tea and drunk half of it before setting it back on the table. He settled his arms around me again, linking his fingers on my back, and looked up. “Let’s see… When we were little, Mish and Aaron were constantly following our parents around. They wanted to know every last bit of the business. My dad tried for about a year to get me interested, but I just didn’t care. I didn’t have the right head for it. “Then we got older, and while they started internships and work experiences, I started sleeping with girls. Yeah. I was that knobhead.” He laughed. “I studied photography at A-level in college just to make up the number of courses I needed to take and fell in love with it. It was so calm and quiet compared to my rowdy, devil-may-c
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Seven
He pulled on his pants and I grabbed some shorts and a T-shirt from my room. When I came back out, Ivan handed me a cup of coffee and grabbed his cup of tea. I smiled as we settled on the sofa, facing each other, my legs hooked over his. He tugged the coffee table closer so we could reach from this position. Then he wrapped his arms around me and linked his fingers behind my back.“Okay. Just…talk,” he said.“Um. Okay.” I settled my fingers against the top of his stomach. The lump in my throat was the only thing stopping bile coming up—I knew it. “Well, I went to my parents’ house yesterday. I needed to get out of the city to think. Of course, my batshit crazy nana was there, so I got more of an ass-kicking than I did thinking. But anyway, she made me realize that you have to face your fears if you’re ever going to get over them. So. Here I am. Fear-facing.”Ivan’s thumbs stroke my back gently, a
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Six
Tyler, sitting on the floor, his back against my door, throwing a tennis ball at the wall opposite him. One of his legs was bent up, the other stretched out. I watched him throw the ball, catching it one-handed every single time.I opened my mouth to talk to him, but he beat me to it.“I’ve been sitting here like a fucking idiot for about four hours. I have no idea why. At first, I thought you were in. Then I remembered you went out of town. Fuck knows where. No one will tell me where or why you went. So I sat down and started playing with this. Hit your neighbor’s door a few times. He invited me in, but I said I’d rather sit here. Got hungry and ordered pizza.” He knocked on the box next to him. “Sat here like a fucking teenage boy hung up on some girl he’s never gonna get.”My chest tightened when he looked at me. I’d never seen his eyes so empty, so dull.“That’s what I think. You know t
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Five
“I nearly lost my life!” I almost shouted. “How is that nothing? What if, next time, it’s worse? What if, next time, I do lose?”Nana’s face softened, but her eyes hardened. She leaned forward in her chair and pointed a wrinkly finger at me. “You listen to me, my girl, and you listen to me well. You’re not afraid of committing. You’re not afraid of hurting anyone. The thing you fear is weakness. It’s commendable, really, but also complete crap. The only person you’re hurting is yourself—and this boy. You’re stringing you both along because of your naivety. That’s what it is. What you are. Naïve. You think love pops up for every Tom, Dick, and Harry?”Her words stung.“It doesn’t. It isn’t something you can throw around. If you can sit there and tell me it wouldn’t kill you to walk away from him, then that’s exactly what you should do.&rdqu
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Four
“You look like you have a face slapped with a wet fish,” Nana said. “Have you been salmon fishing?”“It’s not salmon season, Nana,” I replied. “And I don’t fish.”“Not salmon season? It flamin’ well is! A bit cold for July though. Hey, Steve. Put the heat on. I’m turning into a snowman.”I raised an eyebrow at Mom. “July? Nana, it’s March.”“No, it’s July. I specifically remember arranging my next visit here for July.”“Mother,” Mom said softly. “You did. We talked about it yesterday. You said you’d come back in July.”Nana blinked at her. “Oh. Did we?”Mom noded. “Yes. You said you wanted to come up in salmon season because you wanted fresh salmon.”Nana tilted her head to the side. “Oh. Oh, all right. That would explain the temperature. Still, get t
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Three
“I don’t know his past and he doesn’t know mine.”“Because you’re refusing to talk about it. Yeah, we talk. Just because we’re guys doesn’t mean we don’t talk about this shit. I called him a hundred times with Dayton—he’s more like my brother than anything. I know how he feels about you, Brenda. He’s told me. And let me tell you if you’d asked me six months ago if I ever thought he’d be this serious about a woman, I would have laughed at you.” His lips twitch. “I did laugh when he told me. I thought he was kidding, but he isn’t.”“It’s not just a snap decision. I can’t clap my hands together and know. I’m not holding off to protect myself. I’m doing it to protect him.”“Ivan’s a big boy. He can protect himself. I’ve seen him do it several times.”I put my face in my hands then ran my finger
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Two
I stifled a yawn as I followed Aaron around the new bar. They landed back in Seattle minutes after Ivan and I did, and Day took one look at me and told Aaron to bring me there.She’d taken Ivan to get coffee, and I sworn, if she was pulling her matchmaking shit, I would kill her.“What do you think?” Aaron asked.I looked around the building. Then, it was carnage in there. Builders were everywhere. There was dust and wooden planks and whatever in every single possible place. But looking at the plans in my hand—Aaron’s vision—I saw it.“I think it’s gonna be the best damn cocktail bar in the city,” I said honestly.“Good answer.” He grinned. “It should be ready to go in two weeks. When do you have to tell Donny you’re leaving?”“I’ll go by when I leave here and tell him. I’ll give him a week’s notice then take a week off.”
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty One
“I’m not afraid of relationships. I have an addiction to sex, not a phobia of commitment.” His words stung. They did. Right from my head to my toes. “But yes. That’s the main reason I never pursued a relationship in London. Everyone there knew who I was and what I was worth. Here in Seattle, well. I guess I just never found someone worth having a relationship for.” His gaze burning into me. “Until now,” he finished. “I wish I could be that girl.” My words were so quiet that they were practically a whisper. It was true. I wished I weren’t afraid. I wished I could tackle him with the impulsiveness I tackled Aaron’s new bar with. I wished I could throw every piece of bullshit away and gave him the thing he wanted because He deserved it. He deserved happiness. He deserved smiles and security and certainty. Something I couldn’t offer. Ivan reached across the table and linked his fingers through mine. He lifted our ha
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty
I said nothing, letting the moment linger. Letting his words hover between us, embracing them, holding on to them…getting addicted to them. To the underlying current of power in every syllable. To the smooth way he strung them all together and the way he never stopped to take a breath. To the inflection in the word ‘yours.’ Addicted to the way he didn’t have to think for a second about saying them. Addicted to the way they were making me feel. Safe. Warm. Cherished. Protected. Owned. I took a deep breath that shuddered through my body. The combination of his breath mingling with mine and the tingle of his palm against my neck was heady and intoxicating. The dizzy from his words and the response they’d elicited inside me, I wanted to give in. I wanted to tell him yes. I wanted to tell him we could do that. That, despite our addictions, two opposite poles, we could make it work. But I didn’t. I couldn’t—because I
