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Chapter Fifty Three
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2021-09-11 22:40:38I learned that the hard way. No one ever told me how brutal love was. They never told me how coupled with addiction, could shatter you. Ruin you.
Because when you get addicted to something, that something becomes your whole world. It becomes the central point of your existence. You live for nothing but the addiction, and every minute you aren’t feeding it is a minute you’re craving it.
Walking away from it takes willpower. It takes mental strength and determination—something that’s easy to come by when you don’t want what you’re addicted to. Then you have a reason to say no. You have a reason to turn your back.
I didn’t have that. Apart from my own fears, I had no reason to walk away from that gorgeous man. I had no reason to turn away and run from the man who sets my body on fire with unnatural ease.
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WILD ADDICTION Chapter Fifty Four
I glanced at the time on my phone and sighed. Time to go out and be a good little bridesmaid. The jobs: find Dayton some new shoes since she had changed her mind and find my shoes. Shoe shopping, I could cope with. In fact, shoe shopping was exactly what I needed.I left Angus staring out the window in his spot on the windowsill and got into my car. I turned the music up as I drove farther downtown in a vain attempt to brighten my mood. The music was good.I parked outside Arabella’s store, just behind Dayton’s car, and got out. She joined me on the sidewalk and locked her car.“I’m confused. Why are we at Arabella’s and not a bridal store?”“Because they’re all the fucking same at the bridal stores. It’s honestly like looking at one pair of shoes with minor adjustments—an extra crystal here, a bow there, a ruche under there. Now, Arabella’s,” she said, pushing open the door and glanc
Last Updated : 2021-09-11WILD ADDICTION Chapter Fifty Five
I’d been staring at my phone for two hours and seventeen minutes. I knew because the minutes kept changing on the clock. Like they do. Every minute.Every fucking long and annoyingly indecisive minute.It shouldn’t be hard to pick up the phone and dial his number. It shouldn’t be hard for me to apologize for being a dick, but it is. It is because it means admitting that I was wrong.And fuck, I hate being wrong. Much less admitting it.Four sharp knock at my door pulled me out of my trance. I frowned and got up. The moment I opened the door, Ivan’s lips crashed into mine. Shock stroke me as suddenly as his kiss just did, and I grabbed his arms to stop myself from staggering backward.He kicked the door shut and dropped his bag without releasing me. His hands threaded into my hair, his tongue flicked ag
Last Updated : 2021-09-12WILD ADDICTION Chapter Fifty Six
“Why was your day so bad?” I asked, resting my hand on his stomach.“Two big shoots—one this morning and another in the afternoon. Both with self-righteous, stuck-up bitches who think the world and its mother owes them everything. It was a level of Hell Dante missed.”“Fun. And I take offense at you calling other women bitches. That’s my name.”He laughed loudly, his body shook, making me smile. “Oh, Brenda. You’re not just a bitch. You’re my bitch. My flighty, irritating bitch.”“It’s good to know that you have such a high opinion of me.”“Cuddle me properly and I’ll switch out the irritating.”With a sigh, I laid my arm over his stomach. Instinctively, I snuggled in closer. His arms tightened around me a little more.“There,” I whispered. “Happy?”“Yes.” He kissed the top of my head.
Last Updated : 2021-09-12WILD ADDICTION Chapter Fifty Seven
“We’re going to dinner.”I looked up. Dayton was standing in my doorway, her hands on her hips and her eyes glued to me. Slumped on the sofa, like usual.“We are?”“Yes. We are. And we’re going now.”I looked at my fluffy, blue slippers. “I’m really not dressed for Aaron’s standard of restaurant.”“So get off your ass and get changed.”I swung my legs around with a huff. My eyes glanced over at her—she was wearing skinny jeans, but they were teamed with a loose, sheer blouse, a fitted blazer, and a pair of darling Chanel heels. I knew because I’d been staring at them lovingly online for weeks.“And if I don’t?”She rolled her eyes. “Then you won’t hear about Aaron’s fun, new project.”“I need to hear about it?”“You do. It’s important. So move.” She
Last Updated : 2021-09-13WILD ADDICTION Chapter Fifty Eight
“She learned it all from me.” I smiled as our dinner was placed in front of us. “You do have more details, right?”“Stop fucking with him.” Ivan laughed. “Aaron, just tell her everything. Then she’ll shut up. If not, I’ll shut her up.”My heel connected with his shin.“Bitch,” he hissed.I smiled sweetly.“Well,” Aaron began, a smile teased his lips, “it’s not a huge building. But there’s a fair-sized bar with a dance floor and plenty of space for tables. I have a designer working on something now—she’ll have it by the weekend—and it should take around three weeks to remodel. I presume that’s enough time to give notice at your current job.”I swallowed my salmon and pointed my fork in his direction. “I haven’t agreed to anything yet, buddy, and that’s not enough information. Cocktail bar—
Last Updated : 2021-09-13WILD ADDICTION Chapter Fifty Nine
“Prick!” I snatched my wrists from him, but he was quicker.His arms circled my waist and crushed me against him, flipping me over and laying me back against his car. His lips took mine in a rough kiss as his body covered me. My hands were grabbed by his and pinned above my head.My head was screaming at me to make him let go, but my body was softening, molding to his will.“You could learn how to cocktail-shake all fancy on Google or Wikihow, you know.”Ivan pushed his hips into mine, his erection just millimeters away from my center. “If I’m shaking anything, it’ll be you, babe. Not a motherfucking cocktail.”“Then I don’t see the problem.”“The problem is you.” His voice was low, his mouth hovered just above my ear. There was a scratchy tenderness to his words—a dangerous one.“I don’t get it.”“You never do.” He
Last Updated : 2021-09-13WILD ADDICTION Chapter Sixty
I was wearing the dress.And I was late.And I was not particularly caring at all, because Ivan in a suit was the sexiest thing this side of the mother-fucking universe.The deep-navy jacket was tailored to him and hugged him perfectly while his matching pants were perfectly pressed but still showed the curve of his tight ass. From shiny shoes to a perfectly knotted black tie, he looked fucking hot. Really sexy. Handsome. I didn’t even know.“Are you done looking yet?”“No.” I drunk him in with my eyes once more. “I think I might have to go commando. You and a suit together should come with some kind of panty-wetting warning.”A smug smirk curled his lips. “Get in the car, Brenda.” He opened the door and it bumped me into his body. “And we’ll see if I can’t do something about those wet panties.” He practically shoved me into the back seat and pressed a button on a
Last Updated : 2021-09-13WILD ADDICTION Chapter Sixty One
He led us through the room and straight to the bar. Sparks were still shooting through my body from his words and his touch, and I thought I was accepting this as a natural, automatic feeling to him. I was pretty sure that, if the man looked at me just right, he’d make me cum on the spot.“You look flustered,” Dayton whispered in my ear, wrapping her arms around me. “Wine?”“Wine? Get me some fucking tequlla.” I released her and straightened, accepting Aaron’s brief hug. “Congratulations,” I said to him. “You’re quite the badass now.”He laughed. “Shh, Brenda. Don’t tarnish my previous reputation. I don’t want my employees to know I’m really a soft bastard.”I grinned. “Oh, damn. I forgot to tell the baker not to put that on the cake.”He laughed, and Ivan wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into him. For a second, I closed my ey
Last Updated : 2021-09-13
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WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Seven
My lips formed a wide grin. “Okay. I think my need for information is sated. For now.” “Good. And now I guess we have to get to my gritty stuff, right?” I nodded. “I fessed up. Now it’s your turn.” “Okay.” He grabbed his mug of tea and drunk half of it before setting it back on the table. He settled his arms around me again, linking his fingers on my back, and looked up. “Let’s see… When we were little, Mish and Aaron were constantly following our parents around. They wanted to know every last bit of the business. My dad tried for about a year to get me interested, but I just didn’t care. I didn’t have the right head for it. “Then we got older, and while they started internships and work experiences, I started sleeping with girls. Yeah. I was that knobhead.” He laughed. “I studied photography at A-level in college just to make up the number of courses I needed to take and fell in love with it. It was so calm and quiet compared to my rowdy, devil-may-c
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Seven
He pulled on his pants and I grabbed some shorts and a T-shirt from my room. When I came back out, Ivan handed me a cup of coffee and grabbed his cup of tea. I smiled as we settled on the sofa, facing each other, my legs hooked over his. He tugged the coffee table closer so we could reach from this position. Then he wrapped his arms around me and linked his fingers behind my back.“Okay. Just…talk,” he said.“Um. Okay.” I settled my fingers against the top of his stomach. The lump in my throat was the only thing stopping bile coming up—I knew it. “Well, I went to my parents’ house yesterday. I needed to get out of the city to think. Of course, my batshit crazy nana was there, so I got more of an ass-kicking than I did thinking. But anyway, she made me realize that you have to face your fears if you’re ever going to get over them. So. Here I am. Fear-facing.”Ivan’s thumbs stroke my back gently, a
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Six
Tyler, sitting on the floor, his back against my door, throwing a tennis ball at the wall opposite him. One of his legs was bent up, the other stretched out. I watched him throw the ball, catching it one-handed every single time.I opened my mouth to talk to him, but he beat me to it.“I’ve been sitting here like a fucking idiot for about four hours. I have no idea why. At first, I thought you were in. Then I remembered you went out of town. Fuck knows where. No one will tell me where or why you went. So I sat down and started playing with this. Hit your neighbor’s door a few times. He invited me in, but I said I’d rather sit here. Got hungry and ordered pizza.” He knocked on the box next to him. “Sat here like a fucking teenage boy hung up on some girl he’s never gonna get.”My chest tightened when he looked at me. I’d never seen his eyes so empty, so dull.“That’s what I think. You know t
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Five
“I nearly lost my life!” I almost shouted. “How is that nothing? What if, next time, it’s worse? What if, next time, I do lose?”Nana’s face softened, but her eyes hardened. She leaned forward in her chair and pointed a wrinkly finger at me. “You listen to me, my girl, and you listen to me well. You’re not afraid of committing. You’re not afraid of hurting anyone. The thing you fear is weakness. It’s commendable, really, but also complete crap. The only person you’re hurting is yourself—and this boy. You’re stringing you both along because of your naivety. That’s what it is. What you are. Naïve. You think love pops up for every Tom, Dick, and Harry?”Her words stung.“It doesn’t. It isn’t something you can throw around. If you can sit there and tell me it wouldn’t kill you to walk away from him, then that’s exactly what you should do.&rdqu
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Four
“You look like you have a face slapped with a wet fish,” Nana said. “Have you been salmon fishing?”“It’s not salmon season, Nana,” I replied. “And I don’t fish.”“Not salmon season? It flamin’ well is! A bit cold for July though. Hey, Steve. Put the heat on. I’m turning into a snowman.”I raised an eyebrow at Mom. “July? Nana, it’s March.”“No, it’s July. I specifically remember arranging my next visit here for July.”“Mother,” Mom said softly. “You did. We talked about it yesterday. You said you’d come back in July.”Nana blinked at her. “Oh. Did we?”Mom noded. “Yes. You said you wanted to come up in salmon season because you wanted fresh salmon.”Nana tilted her head to the side. “Oh. Oh, all right. That would explain the temperature. Still, get t
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Three
“I don’t know his past and he doesn’t know mine.”“Because you’re refusing to talk about it. Yeah, we talk. Just because we’re guys doesn’t mean we don’t talk about this shit. I called him a hundred times with Dayton—he’s more like my brother than anything. I know how he feels about you, Brenda. He’s told me. And let me tell you if you’d asked me six months ago if I ever thought he’d be this serious about a woman, I would have laughed at you.” His lips twitch. “I did laugh when he told me. I thought he was kidding, but he isn’t.”“It’s not just a snap decision. I can’t clap my hands together and know. I’m not holding off to protect myself. I’m doing it to protect him.”“Ivan’s a big boy. He can protect himself. I’ve seen him do it several times.”I put my face in my hands then ran my finger
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Two
I stifled a yawn as I followed Aaron around the new bar. They landed back in Seattle minutes after Ivan and I did, and Day took one look at me and told Aaron to bring me there.She’d taken Ivan to get coffee, and I sworn, if she was pulling her matchmaking shit, I would kill her.“What do you think?” Aaron asked.I looked around the building. Then, it was carnage in there. Builders were everywhere. There was dust and wooden planks and whatever in every single possible place. But looking at the plans in my hand—Aaron’s vision—I saw it.“I think it’s gonna be the best damn cocktail bar in the city,” I said honestly.“Good answer.” He grinned. “It should be ready to go in two weeks. When do you have to tell Donny you’re leaving?”“I’ll go by when I leave here and tell him. I’ll give him a week’s notice then take a week off.”
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty One
“I’m not afraid of relationships. I have an addiction to sex, not a phobia of commitment.” His words stung. They did. Right from my head to my toes. “But yes. That’s the main reason I never pursued a relationship in London. Everyone there knew who I was and what I was worth. Here in Seattle, well. I guess I just never found someone worth having a relationship for.” His gaze burning into me. “Until now,” he finished. “I wish I could be that girl.” My words were so quiet that they were practically a whisper. It was true. I wished I weren’t afraid. I wished I could tackle him with the impulsiveness I tackled Aaron’s new bar with. I wished I could throw every piece of bullshit away and gave him the thing he wanted because He deserved it. He deserved happiness. He deserved smiles and security and certainty. Something I couldn’t offer. Ivan reached across the table and linked his fingers through mine. He lifted our ha
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty
I said nothing, letting the moment linger. Letting his words hover between us, embracing them, holding on to them…getting addicted to them. To the underlying current of power in every syllable. To the smooth way he strung them all together and the way he never stopped to take a breath. To the inflection in the word ‘yours.’ Addicted to the way he didn’t have to think for a second about saying them. Addicted to the way they were making me feel. Safe. Warm. Cherished. Protected. Owned. I took a deep breath that shuddered through my body. The combination of his breath mingling with mine and the tingle of his palm against my neck was heady and intoxicating. The dizzy from his words and the response they’d elicited inside me, I wanted to give in. I wanted to tell him yes. I wanted to tell him we could do that. That, despite our addictions, two opposite poles, we could make it work. But I didn’t. I couldn’t—because I
