Who am I, you might wonder
My face is only a coverFor the monster insideI try to hideBut if you look closer into my eyesYou might discover my disguiseFor I am no man, and I have no soulNo heart, and a beast I can't controlAlone, I suffer at nightAnd when the sun rises again, I pretend to be alrightMy only wish is to be released from the chainsAnd the hatred that runs through my veinsBut I know that the end is nearI shall dig my own graveAnd rest in it with no fearBecause death is all I craveRayven closed the book. Whoever wrote it had described his suffering so well. Death was indeed all he craved. He looked over at the boys' training and his gaze fell on William. The boy was working hard and getting better each day. He caught up to the older boys that had longer training than him.His hair got in his eyes as he fought, distracting him and giving his opponent a chance to knock the wooden sword out of his hand. The boy then proceeded to hit William with the wooden sword while William tried to pick up his.Envy was worse than poison. The boys couldn't accept that a younger boy who hadn't had as long training as them was better.William crawled to grab his sword, but the boy kicked it away and kept hitting him. At last, William had enough and used his arm to block the attacks as he stood up. With a growl, he threw himself at the boy, taking him down to the ground and then began to punch him.Rayven had never watched anything so satisfying, but it was his duty to ensure that they didn't get seriously injured."William! That is enough now!"William was angrier than he thought. Despite his orders, he landed one last punch before removing himself. He was panting and his hands remained clenched into fists.Rayven stood up from his seat. "It is enough for today. You can leave."The boy that was beaten by William got help with the help of his friends, but feeling embarrassed, he pushed them away and left in a hurry. His friends followed him, and the rest of the boys wished him a good evening before leaving. Except for William. He kept standing in the same place, while blood dripped from his clenched fists."I got too angry." He said, his eyes red.Rayven had noticed that William looked tired lately, but hadn't bothered to care."You should get some sleep."William gazed up at him. "How do you sleep when you suffer from nightmares?"How did he know? Rayven was surprised at first, but then realized the boy was talking about himself. What was haunting this young boy that he couldn't sleep at night?He sighed, frustrated. Why did he even care? Sitting back in his chair, he held his book up. "Try reading. It helps me sometimes.""My sister likes to read."The boy liked his sister too much, but then what was there to not like?Rayven clenched his jaw, displeased with his own thoughts."Maybe she can read for you." He suggested hating himself more the more he spoke.Slowly, William unclenched his fists and his shoulders relaxed."Have a good evening, My Lord." He bowed and then turned around and left.Rayven watched him walk away. The boy was like his sister in many ways.After reading for a while about the man who saw himself as a monster and his never ending suffering, Rayven decided to go home. When he went to the main garden, he found William still waiting for his father to take him home.Before he could speak to him, he smelled the scent of a woman. A sweet summer scent that reminded him of warm and sunny days. Days that didn't exist in his life.Resisting to breathe in her scent, he looked her way. Why did she have to come today of all days? Now he would be scolded for hurting her brother."William!" It didn't take long for concern to show in her blue eyes after she saw her brother. "What happened to you?"Her brother looked worse than the last time she scolded him. He was curious to see what she would do this time."I am alright." William assured.She grabbed his face, removed his hair before looking at the bruises. Then she released him with a sigh.When her blue eyes shifted to his, they were burning with a fire as red as her hair. "Can he stay at home tomorrow? To recover." She asked him.Rayven was surprised. He had expected to be scolded. "No." He replied.She frowned, not expecting his answer. Why did she keep thinking that he would be kind?"He won't be able to learn much with these many injuries, My Lord.""Pain is the best teacher." He said. It wasn't his words, but he believed it.Angelica narrowed her eyes,"I hope not, My Lord. Have a good evening." She curtsied, then put her arm around her brother's shoulders. "Let's go home." She said, leading him away.Rayven tried to figure out the meaning behind her words and the reason she didn't argue with him this time. The woman was a mystery. Probably because he couldn't hear her thoughts, otherwise he wouldn't be so curious about her. Why would he?"My Lady, someone is asking for you?" Eva informed. "It is a man. He is waiting outside." Angelica frowned. A man? It couldn't be Sir Shaw because Eva knew him. "Did he not tell you who he is?" She looked confused. "I… I didn't ask." "It is alright. I will go see him." Who could it be, she wondered. When she went outside, she found a man on his horse. He wore a black cloak that covered his face. When Angelica neared, he removed the cap, surprising her. "Your Majesty?" He smiled. "Angelica." She looked around, but he was all alone. What was happening?"Are you busy?" He asked. "No, Your Majesty." "Would you mind spending some time with me?" The question surprised her. She hadn't seen him for a month and thought that he was angry with her the last time they spoke. She didn't understand why he kept showing interest in her. The last thing she needed was to like someone and become disappointed. He was easy to like and feel safe with. Angelica thought of denying his request befor
Skender arrived in time and joined them in the backyard together with Blayze, Mazzon and Vitale before the Arch arrived. Rayven could feel the tension in the air when everyone gathered. No one was pleased that the Arch would come and they wouldn't have visited if Skender had done his job. Blayze was already showing his bitterness toward Skender. Mazzon kept to himself, and Acheron and Lazarus stayed quiet. Vitale sat on the floor, looking exhausted. He didn't know if it was the thought of the Arch coming alone that exhausted him or if there was something else. "Well, well, you have already gathered, my Lords." Lucrezia appeared from thin air with her two wingmen on each side, startling a few of them. Her aura sucked all the existing air whenever she arrived. Today she wore a long-sleeved green dress that complimented her green eyes and a crown of black thorns sat on top of her head. Her dark hair cascaded down to her waist in elegant waves and her sun kissed skin glowed in the eveni
Oh pain, what have I doneTo make you my companion Having you around is no funI want you goneRayven opened his eyes slowly, the lights greeting him with their warmth. But right now, all he wanted was to feel cold. To feel numb. Why did he wake up? He wished he had never opened his eyes again. Skender sat next to the bed in a chair and Acheron on a coach in the corner. He was falling asleep when he saw that Rayven had woken up. Skender loomed over him with a worried expression. "Rayven, you worried me." He said, breathing out in relief.Acheron came to his side as well. "What did she do to you?" Rayven saw anger in Acheron's eyes. The man never showed anger unless he was hungry. Opening his mouth, Rayven tried to speak despite his extremely dry mouth and throat. The words cut through him, causing him to grimace in pain, but he could barely be heard. Acheron hurried away to bring him water. Pushing himself up with his arms, Rayven tried to sit, but almost cursed when his healing
29"William, ;come here!" Rayven ordered when all the boys left their training. ;William came to him, keeping his head down. ;"What has happened to you?" he asked. ;Today, he wasn't as focused as he used to be. ;William looked up at him. "I didn't sleep well." ;"Seems like reading isn't helping anymore.""I have read all the books at home. I have nothing left to read. My sister will buy me a book today," he explained. ;"Take this," he said, giving him the book in his hands. "Make sure to come well prepared tomorrow." ;William looked at the book in his hands. The Monster Is Me. Then he looked up at him again. "What are you, My Lord?" he asked straight. ;"What do you think I am?" Rayven asked. ;"I am not sure," William replied. ;Interesting, Rayven thought. So he could sense that he wasn't human. Rayven wondered how he would react if he told him the truth. Most people didn't believe when the truth was told blatantly. ;"I am what most people call a demon." ;"Not evil? Just dem
Angelica paced back and forth in her room feeling anxious while her brother followed her with his gaze until he became dizzy and gave up. "Why didn't you tell me first?" She scolded. "I am sorry. I thought it was the right opportunity." He said. She stopped pacing and looked at him. "Why did you tell him?" she asked curiously. She thought he liked the King the most. "He is honest. If I tell him, I will know his intentions. He won't pretend to be kind and then betray me." Angelica didn't know him as much as her brother knew him, so she trusted his intuition. "What about the King?" "I can't know for sure if I can trust him." William replied. If the King was a charmer, then it would be hard to know what he was thinking if William told him. She was proud of her clever brother. When they went to bed at night, William was reading Lord Rayven's book. The one that had caught her and his attention in the bookstore. He had refused to lend it to her, but he gave it to William. He definit
"My Lord, thank you for giving me your book. I enjoyed it greatly and finished reading it at once. I believe the book is special to you so I thought of giving it back." William held out the book he had given to him. Rayven had regretted all of his actions last night, but he mostly regretted that he gave away his book when he remembered what he had written in it. Without hesitance he took it back from William. Spending time with this boy was messing with his mind, so he left him this time before William could leave. Rayven went to his chamber so he could be alone, but found Blayze waiting for him. Rayven gave him a questioning look. "Have you asked Skender if he found a solution on how to deal with Lord Davis or will your punishment go to waste?" Rayven sighed as he sat down on the bed. "He was willing to take the punishment to save him, so I am sure he is thinking of a way." "Are you sure?" Blayze asked skeptically. Skender was known to be negligent. Maybe he wasn't doing his j
Rayven was walking through the market, causing heads to turn and eyes to widen in fascination. Women would nudge each other with their elbows whenever he walked by, giggle or try to catch his attention. He was taller than most men, but he carried his length with elegance, just like the rest of his attire. His skin changes tones depending on season and on this summer day, his sun-kissed skin had a healthy glow and his dark hair looked more well kept than the wealthiest woman in town. He was aware of everyone's glances, but his obsidian eyes didn't wander amongst the woman. Instead, they turned to gaze at the woman by his side, who had her arm through his. She looked up at him with a smile, and he smiled back at her. Rayven didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed that he woke up from this beautiful dream. It had been a long time since he hadn't had a nightmare. In his dream, his scars were gone, and he had a lovely woman by his side. He seeme
Why did she have to come here at this time? Her eyes burned like blue flames into his. "Release him at once." She said. And so he did. The man almost fell down but stayed hidden behind the counter. Rayven was in shock. Did he just obey her orders? Pretending like he did no such thing, he adjusted himself while Angelica went to help the seller get up on his feet. "Are you alright, Sir?" "Yes. Thank you, My Lady." Turning to him, she gave him a stern look. Rayven ignored her and picked up his books before walking past her maid, who looked like she had seen a ghost. When he was outside the shop, he went to his horse that was tied to a tree nearby. "Lord Rayven." He almost groaned. Why was she following him? He kept pretending as if she didn't exist and began to pack his books into the bag that hung from the saddle. She was quiet for a moment that he had to glance her way to see what she was doing. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and he could hear her heart beat a little faster
Undress?Angelica's mind wandered away, going anywhere but this place she was in. She thought of her mother and the life she had wished for her. She thought of her greedy father. Even he wouldn't want her to be in this situation and lastly, she thought of her brother. What would he think of this? What would he think of what she had become? She had fought hard for him and herself. But this wasn't the kind of fighting she wanted to do. She didn't want to endure this every day, selfish as it might sound. She knew leaving this place could be more dangerous and possibly lead to her death, leaving her brother completely alone. But she couldn't stop herself from being selfish. She couldn't stop herself from wanting something more and not surrendering to this. Turning her gaze she looked at the man in front of her who seemed to be losing his patience when she did nothing. "It will be easier for you if we get along, Angel." He said. Angel? She became nauseous at the way it sounded coming
After breathing in some fresh air, Angelica went back inside. She followed the sound of the women chattering and came to a room where a few women sat at a table, eating food. Her eyes searched for Valeria but she wasn't there. The only other person she recognized was Mina. "Angelica," she smiled and waved when she saw her. "Come in." All the other women looked her way as she hesitantly stepped into the room. The smell of food made her stomach growl. "This is Angelica ladies," Mina told the other women and then patted on the seat next to her. Angelica went to sit down while feeling everyone's eyes on her. It was very quiet as she sat down but soon the chattering started again. Some of the women sitting closer to the table introduced themselves and then they were curious about her and began to ask a lot of questions. Questions like how she got here, how she kept her hair and skin looking beautiful, how life was as a noble lady, and much more. Angelica patiently answered all of thei
After crying the rest of the evening and then pitying herself the first half of the night, Angelica began to do some thinking on the second half. At first, she kept thinking and imagining what would happen from here on. She became more and more scared the more she thought about it. Then she began to think about what she could do to get through this. But how would she know if she didn't exactly know what she would have to get through? And lastly, she thought of good reasons to accept her fate, when she was tired of looking for other solutions that didn't exist, worrying, and being scared.Here she would have shelter and food, be able to pay her father's debt off quicker, and maybe even save some money for William. But how would her reputation now affect him? It was enough that he was a traitor's son, now he was a ….She couldn't bring herself to say the word. She ruined things for him. All this time she tried to protect him but she ended up here instead. Removing the sheets away from
"Where are you taking me?" Angelica asked. "I am sure you know since you tried to run away." Said the man sitting to her left and holding the dagger. "I don't want to." She said. The man nodded. "I can see that. It is hard to accept but you will get used to it." Used to it? The man sitting across from her studied her face and let his gaze rake her body. "You would make a lot of money." He said as if that should be some kind of consolation. "A lot." The other one emphasized. The one with the dagger nodded again. "You will do well, Angelica. You won't even have to try. In no time you will be able to pay back Lord Green." He told her. These men...she couldn't believe it. They were talking so casually about it as if she was just going to do any other kind of work. Perhaps it was any other kind of work for them. Angelica shook her head, feeling the tears burn her eyes. She was not going to cry in front of these men. No! But the tears fought against her and one fell slowly down he
A week passed since Angelica came to Lord Greens' house. The chores became easier the more she learned, and she became close with the other maids. She was surprised by how much she could learn in such a short amount of time and she somehow enjoyed doing work. It didn't feel like she was wasting her day trying to figure out what to do or how to spend the rest of her day. The only thing she missed was her books and the thing she would probably never miss was her fancy dresses that crushed her ribs. And of course, she missed her brother the most. She wondered how he was doing? Angelica thought of trying to find a way to send him a letter and let him know she was alright. She wanted to know how he was doing. Was he eating well? Sleeping well? Were people being very harsh to him? The coffee almost boiled over while she was lost in thought. She quickly removed it from the fire and poured it in a cup to take it to Lord Green. He always liked to have a cup of coffee every afternoon. Lord G
Angelica sat near the window and stared at the horizon watching the sunset. The women dying in her town seemed to stop for some time and then start again. She didn't only have the townspeople to worry about now, but also a killer roaming free and killing women of her age. She wasn't safe anywhere. Hopefully, soon she would be married and move to the other side of the town, where Lord Scott lived. Natasha would let him know she agreed to the marriage. The door to the room was opened after a knock and Natasha stepped inside. She had a frown on her face. "Sir Shaw is here looking for you," she said. Sir Shaw? Why could he be looking for her? Did he perhaps change his mind? Angelica left her window to go see why he was here. When she arrived at the parlor she saw that he wasn't alone. He came with another man. Angelica had seen the man somewhere but she couldn't recall exactly where. Perhaps she had seen him with her father? The man introduced himself as Lord Green. He was a busin
Natasha showed Angelica to a nicely decorated room where she could stay until she met her suitor, which she had arranged. Only now did she realize how terrified she was of meeting the man that could be her future husband if things went as planned. "Don't worry about your brother. Both our fathers have been to military camps. It has its benefits," Natasha told her. Angelica knew that already. She knew the other boys would give her brother a hard time but at least there he would have food and shelter and he would be alive. Her heart broke thinking she had to choose between those things for her brother. "I know. Thank you." Angelica smiled. "Alright. I will let you rest so you can impress Lord Scott tomorrow." She gave her a smile before closing the door to the room behind her. Once Natasha was out of sight, Angelica could finally breathe. She went to sit on the well-made bed and tried to calm down. Suddenly, her stomach was filled with dozens of butterflies that stabbed her like be
"What are you doing?!" Rayven asked Skender. Why did he take the boy away from his sister? "I couldn't just do nothing," Skender said. "And you thought of going there personally to bring him? Don't you know that the shades are out there? You could have put them in danger." Skender's eyes widened at his sudden anger and Rayven realized he was worked up again because of the boy and his sister. He took a deep breath. He wouldn't have been so agitated had he not known William's secret. The shades were looking for him. Any wrong move and the boy would be in danger. But why was he caring again? He swore not to. "What is your problem, Rayven? When I don't act you get angry and now when I am doing something you get angry too." Rayven could see Lazarus standing at the entrance with a knowing smirk on his face. "William will be safe in the military camp and I made it seem like a punishment and not that I was doing them any favor," Skender explained then picked up his glass to drink his
As promised, Natasha kept sending her butler or her maid to deliver food to her home. Angelica was grateful as things got even more difficult in the past week. Letters written by her father were found that proved his treason. He was trying to reach the king of their neighboring kingdom, exposing their own kingdoms strategies and weaknesses. Her father wanted the king of Crezia to take over their kingdom, Kraghorn. Now people despised him not understanding how he could betray not only his King, but his own people and Kingdom as well. Angelica wasn't surprised anymore. Her father probably made a deal with the king of Crezia to get something in return for giving him the secrets to their kingdom. He had a plan for everything except he failed at the end. Thomas and Eva got attacked several times when they went outside, all because they worked for her. Angelica cried when Eva came covered in dirt one day because a few stupid people had pushed her into mud and threw things at her. And the