Chapter 4

"Are you coming?" Sophia breaks into my temporary room, as I watched the Suns of Eldora say their last goodbyes. My thoughts trail back to Jaxson. His words caught me off guard. I had nothing to say and left.

'… you're going to know exactly who I am…'

I didn't know what I fear more - if he turns out to be like my father or doesn't. Nevertheless, am I strong enough to fight the Lycan King, Jaxson storm? "Where to?" I don't know why I asked since there's a high possibility I'll reject whatever it is.

Sophia stands beside me. She watches the suns as a smile dances across her face. "To meet the pack warriors, you are their future Queen," Sophia reveals. A shot of nervousness and despair curls around my soul.

"Mhmm, I have no interest in meaningless banter with the pack," I grumble. My issues aside, how does the goddess expect me to lead a pack when I'd prefer to slit my own throat instead? Sophia scoffs, my answer obviously didn't surprise her.

"Dylan said you'd say something like that," she muses, facing her back to the suns and leaning against the wall taking her time studying me. "He spoke about you all the time, you know. He blamed himself for your-... death." 

I keep silent, my eyes no longer train on the lilac skies, falling onto Charming training the warriors below my balcony. "What do you want me to say?" I whisper. 

Her hand sits over my wrist, her gesture gentle, but fierce. "Nothing, just don't ever hurt him again."

"I never intend too," I whisper sadly. A comfortable silence hangs over us, watching the warriors fight Dylan one after the other. 

"You've grown beautiful, you know," Sophia sighs.

Beautiful? 

The single word triggered my pain. I feel tingles run along my skin; itchy but I make no move to scratch. I can't say anything, speechless—Nia tenses at the feeling.  The heat of her anger begins to boil as warmth trickles along my skin and quickly push it aside before it does too much damage. 

"Dylan mentioned your aversion to packs, any reason why?" she prods, utterly oblivious to my reaction to her earlier statement.

"I just don't think they're all cracked up to what they're supposed to be," I answer truthfully, I didn't know what it is about her, but I feel this sense of trust between us.

Maybe I'm just going soft?

"Hmm, well maybe this is your opportunity to change that," she reveals, "if you want change to happen, do something. You have a voice; you have skills. What are you waiting for?" Sophia asks. 

What am I waiting for, a packs bond isn't my problem anymore? Though considering the shit-show, that is my life. I wouldn't wish that on someone else.

Besides, what do I have to live for besides revenge? 

"Show me the way," I offer, her smiles twists into a knowing grin.

"Who knows, maybe you'll even join the pack. I know my brother would love it," she smirks knowingly.

"No, I'm comfortable with my lone-wolf status," I reject the idea of joining a pack, not when I'm so close to killing him. I won't kill him as anything else. He needs to know I survived; that I didn't become the monster, he told me I am. Right?

I've never looked for trouble, being a lone wolf, it finds me. I do what I need to, to survive. But does taking lives, turn me into the very thing I've been avoiding?

"They may be guarded and threatened by you being you're a lone wolf, but give it some time," she smiles reassuringly. I understand why they would be; I already had my suspicions.

"Why are you and Dylan here? I can't imagine the wolves being comfortable around vampires, least of all purebloods like Charming and you're a witch. At least I think so," I murmur the last words to myself. I couldn't explain it, but there's something not right about her, her scent is off? Maybe it's her bloodline, Jaxson is the same.

"At first-… No. Now it doesn't bother the pack anymore. Besides the Gods have led me here, I can't leave my brother's side if I wanted to," Gods? So, the rumours of the Qusayr (Strom) family being in direct contact with our deity's is right? I wanted to ask further questions, like why did they want her beside Jaxson? But I couldn't voice it fast enough.

Tensions bled in the air. Thick and cold at my arrival. Wolves watch, their eyes assessing every twitch I make. I keep my head high, my bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor as the pack exchange whispers between one another via their minds.

"What the hell is this?" A woman comes forth from behind her packmates, her oceanic blue eyes observing me. She keeps her head low before Sophia, in respect. 

"Olivia, this is Valerie. She is your kings' mate and his future queen," she announces for everyone to hear. I didn't know what to think about the possibility of being a queen; it didn't feel like me, but there is this lingering urge of authority prickling at my skin towards the title - like it belongs to me.

Olivia's eyes almost fall out of her sockets, casting a familiar look in my direction. Hate. "A Lone Wolf as my queen?!" she growls, obviously unhappy of the prospect. "I will not accept it. She is a pack-less runt, there are wolves far better and superior then her," I keet quiet. Her words did not affect me because they are the truth. Some wolves can fill my position far better. Who are selfless and kind. I don't perceive myself as a bitch, but I am selfish.

At least, I think so.

"Like you?" Sophia ask. Her tone held a venomous gentleness. Oliver doesn't seem deterred by her words, but I am rather curious about what Sophia meant?

"Yes. I am the oldest daughter of Crescent Moons Alpha - second most influential and powerful pack in all of Eldora. My father has trained me since birth for the position of leader. I am most qualified. Besides, no one is closer to his highness than me," she lists reasons to why she deserves the position; I wasn't going to speak, but her last words trigger Nia. A strong, unnatural urge to put this pup in her place washes through me—a craving I can not resist. 

"If that were true, wouldn't our goddess have chosen you to be his 'once in a lifetime' mate?" I drawl, voicing my thoughts for the first time. She glowers in my direction, her eyes finally meeting mine for the first time.

Shock.

Her oceanic eyes bore into my own. Olivia's anger is almost wholly gone before she snaps herself out of it. Her gaze traces my figure. I'm slightly dirty from running earlier this morning, but I didn't care. Her eyes filled with disgust, though unlike my father's gaze, she held no effect on me. "Wolves can reject mates. Once his highness realises you are worthless, he'll toss you away, or maybe he'll keep you as his pet - maybe you already are," she smirks. Okay, so maybe her words had a slight effect on me.

'…- He'll keep you as his pet-…' 

Over my dead body! But he is stronger than me, so I didn't ultimately push the thought away.

Nia growls softly, almost taking advantage of my weakened mind before I force her out. From Olivia's reaction, I knew she saw my wolves red ones, "I am no one's pet. Isn't that the concept of being a lone wolf? When your Alpha says jump, you jump. When they tell me, I rip their tongues out," I confess, holding her shocked gaze with my own. "Unlike you, I am not bound by the trivial conventions of the Alpha's command," my tone oozed dominance, it sucked the air from their lungs. I didn't mean to do it, to force them all into submission. The power and authority seep from my pores naturally. 

She growls, with nothing else to say, she leaves. "Wow, not bad," Sophia smiles, whipping her head around to stare at me, "I had the impression you weren't going to speak. I'm happy you did, this pack needs to know their future Luna and queen isn't a push-over." No, a push-over isn't a word to describe me. Still, I'm not someone who entertains childish mind games, and something tells me, I fell into the trap.

I couldn't help myself, the way she spoke about Jaxson… one may think she's in love with him and I'd been jealous. I have no right to be. I'm the one who can't accept him. Oh well, it isn't long now.

Three weeks to be precise.

We step outside into the garden, the skies are once again on fire only tonight the moon hides behind black vapours of smoke, "the full moon is drawing nearer," Sophia shivers, rubbing her arms uncomfortably. That's right; witches lose control of their powers during a full moon.

"Yeah, I can feel it too. Two night from now," I murmur, reminding me I need wolfbane to drug Nia. It's more of a poison that burns the blood coursing through my veins, but it's necessary. After everything, what is a little more pain going to do?

"Shit, sorry to have to leave, but Dylan's looking for me," she apologises and runs away. A soft breath leaves my lips, enjoying the cold air wrapping around my heated body. I watch the flowers flow in the direction of the wind, and an image paints my thoughts.

'Valerie,' Nia whimpers, her head hidden behind her paws to stop herself from losing control at my mistake.

I try to push the image away, digging it into the dark forgotten corners of my mind before strolling back inside.

I don't know where I was going. I try to get the image to leave my mind as I study the house's gracious details, but I can't focus on anything. My heart slams into my ribs, and sweat trickles down the side of my face. My skin feels heated as I burst through a door to hide from any on-lookers.

They already think I'm unstable. I don't need to prove them right.

My breath stops, eyes wide in 'awe' and 'disbelief.' An art room, paintings adorned the walls. Shelves stocked with canvases, brushes, pots, paint, pencils, and colours scattered the room. It looked to be untouched but cared for, not one of the utensils appear used or touched, and without thinking, I set up a canvas and painted.

Art. It keeps my mind busy and takes me to a world without pain, loss, and fear. I painted the picture engraved into my memories onto the canvas. I lost complete control of my hands and let my instincts take control.

Art is my escape.