No reason

“Why did you even change your password?” Ace asks me, we’re chilling outside by the pool 

what a way to kill the vibes I sigh, trying to decide what to do, should I tell him or not

“Yeah, why did you?” Clay asks and I look behind to see him with drinks, he hands us our drinks and I take a sip, “no reason” they laugh as if knowing that I’m lying “come on em, you have to do better than that by the way you shouldn’t even be lying to us.”

Ace is right. I shouldn’t, not if I want to be punished.

Before speaking, I bit the inside of my lower lip. “I’ve had feelings for you guys for a long time, and after everything that’s happened between us, you know sexually this BDSM thing, and just living with you guys, my feelings have grown stronger, and as you guys already know, my therapist is out of the country, We’ve been texting on the phone, and she’s been assisting me with it. I was terrified you’d find out, which is why I changed the password and flipped when you took my phone.”

“I’m truly sorry,” I turn to Clay

They remained silent, which saddened and embarrassed me. One would assume I’m a slut because I have feelings for both of my best friends. Maybe I am. 

The silence that surrounded us was uncomfortable. They wanted to know why I was hiding my phone. Now when I tell them, they can’t even say one word. This is what I was avoiding. I mean, of course, they wouldn’t feel the same. We’re best friends. I get up and kiss both of them on their cheeks before heading to the kitchen, where I empty the drink and place the glass in the sink.

I try my best to be a good submissive and best friend and not focus on what I feel for them. I knew that finding out that I had a crush on them would make things weird between us and that is why Linda was helping me deal with it. This has the potential to sabotage our friendship.

I look at my phone and see it’s 3:50; I decide to go have a shower, and I wash my dark brown curly hair before stepping into the tub. The water and the magnolia scent of body wash calm my body and I just relax into the water.

Why did I have to fall in love with them? Why did they have to be so fucking loving? I guess it’s because they were the only ones who ever cared about me. When my father went to prison and I was living on the streets, filthy and hungry, they were the only ones who noticed; I remembered they ensured to get me food from their house every day, canned fruits, bread, water, you name it, and when they turned 18, they took me off the fucking streets, bought me a house, and got me a job. They always made me feel loved when I was with them, and they never judged me for having a father who can’t keep me out of prison and a mother who is a heroin addict.

I felt the water in the tub getting cold and quickly finished up, wrapped my hair up, and then got another towel to wrap around my body. I jumped when I walked out of the bathroom and saw my best friend on my bed. Clay has his foot stretched out, his back on the headboard while he plays in Ace’s dirty blonde hair. Whose head is on his lap? It’s funny because both of them are dirty blondes, with the exception that Clay’s hair is straight while Ace’s is curly.

 “you guys scared me,” I let out holding my chest

“We’re sorry about that princesses, we came to check on you and noticed that you were in the bathroom.” I smile, drying my hair. Once it was all dry, I head to the closet, changing myself into a tank top and some sweatpants 

“What were you doing so long in there?” Clay asked as I plopped myself on the bed.

“I was playing with myself and lost track of time.” I joked mostly so Ace could say something. He hadn’t spoken to me or even made eye contact with me since I got out of the bathroom and he always makes this joke when I take along in the shower. 

Ace smirks “Why don’t you take your sweatpants off and show me how you did it?” I slap his arm. “I was joking, you pervert”

“I know,” he laughs. Clay and I had no choice but to join in. You should hear his laugh.

“Where’s your phone?” He asks when our laughter died down and I point to the bedside table.

“well go get it” I stride over there and take the phone up, handing it to him

Clay notices my sad expression and pats his lap. I sit on it and rest my head on his chest 

“Princess, being our submissive means doing whatever we ask and sharing everything with us.” He lifted my head to look into my eyes. “Do you understand that?” I nod my head yes.

“words,” he says as he pinches my nipple, “yes sir” 

“Good girl,” Ace says right beside us and I roll my eyes

“Shut up.” Clay smiled at what I said and I put my hands on either side of his face, admiring his facial features. 

His neatly arched eyebrows, well-defined jawline, finely groomed facial hair, and those mesmerizing blue eyes of his”

“He’s really attractive,” I observe, my gaze falling on his beautiful pink lips. “Is he?” Ace inquires and I just bury my face in Clay’s chest, which is vibrating. Great, He’s laughing at me. 

Embarrassed, I climbed off his lap and crawled under my sheets. Why do I have to be the one to say what they’re thinking out loud?