When I opened my eyes, I saw him lying with his head on the pillow next to me, one of his legs still thrown over mine, his hands cupped along the bottom of my breasts. He watched me with such intensity that I turned in bed and looked into his eyes, seeing the swirls of golden brown, a bit of jade, and the blacks that were only beginning to recede."I love you," he said simply.I knew he loved me, but my heart…it caught in my chest. The way he looked at me, the way he said it, so simply. This man, this ancient, powerful being loved…me.I reached out and placed my hand on his cheek."I love you." I looked into his eyes, through what made up this body knowing that he wasn't only this—we weren't only this. We were so much more. What we were surpassed a physical form. We were spirits and creatures and eternity. We were forever. I shuddered when it all came to me. Alexis and I were eternity.He sighed and released a breath that he seemed to have been holding for years.He smiled.
"Yes," Oni said."And what about Ran and Alexis—can they come with us?" I asked."They go with their Oni," she said.My hopes fell once again. What good was any of this if we couldn't go together? I scrubbed my face with the palms of my hands.Oni touched my forearm lightly. Words are hard. I will find them soon. Learning. Time and I will become better. I stay here with you and learn. I return home and stop knowing.I nodded then told Alexis and Ran what she "said" in my head."We can't send her back," Ran said firmly. "You heard her, Kim. If she returns to her realm, she will stop knowing." He frowned. "That's not fair to her. She was hungry and there's no telling how long those bastards are going to keep us here and you two separated.""I won't send her away," I assured him. We needed Oni, but she also needed us. "But Ran, what about your demons? Maybe we can hitch a ride out of the bubble on our demons." Ran shook his head in misery. "I cannot call mine. I don't have that t
Over the next few days, Oni and I became even closer as I struggled to find myself. In the process, she began to develop her own personality. She and Ran came over often, and we all spent time trying to coax new words out of her. She stayed with Ran in his new house because he blurted out in embarrassment that he was her food. Ran liked his new house, and I liked that I didn't have to hear him "feeding" her. Oni obviously wanted him as much as he wanted her. They held hands so tightly, as if they were afraid Oni would turn into a puff of smoke and disappear.To pass the time, Alexis and I spent hours talking about our lives. Because we weren't exactly Vampires, I could no longer share his memories, but we talked about history, and through him history began to unfold before me.I was most interested in his memories of being turned into a Vampire. I appreciated that he didn't try to shield me from his infatuation with Athena. I wasn't jealous, but it made my heart ache for him as he
I slipped my hand into Alexis', and he squeezed my hand gently."Oni," I said carefully. "The baby is…healthy?" As if anything undead can be healthy.Oni nodded. "Yes. Healthy."I sagged in relief. I didn't want to be pregnant a minute ago, but knowing that I was pregnant changed everything.I was pregnant."Wait." Ran held Oni back from him at arm's length. "We can't have a baby, can we?" He looked horrified that he might have impregnated Oni with all the "feedings" that he'd been giving her.Oni smiled. "Un-living cannot have child with living. Only two living have child.""Then why did you call our child undead?" Alexis asked. "Two living things…I mean two humans make another human, right?"Oni shrugged. "Not in this realm. The un-living have always been here—never born, never made, just always. Only the undead can be born to this place." She looked at me now. "What you call demons."Alexis pulled me into his arms as if he thought I was about to fall over.Perhaps this had
Time was relative at the beach. Some days we spent hours trying to teach new words to Oni. Sometimes Alexis and I marveled at the beauty of the sun as it reflected off the ocean's waves or slowly set into the horizon. As my stomach grew, Alexis made me long flowing dresses. I would catch him staring at me as if he was searching for a glimpse inside of my soul. Whenever I saw him staring at me so intensely, I would remember the way I used to stare at Paul at the end, wanting to say more to him than I was allowed. The ache for what Paul and I had lost still remained, but it didn't cripple me. Even though our supernatural bonds had been severed, my human ones were still present.I still loved Paul, maybe I always would, but I didn't want to be with him anymore. I didn't blamed him for not ending his alliance with the Wolfpack. Hell, I couldn't even blame him for not rejecting Sasha and her baby. But I could never forgive him for not making me his Lupa, something that could have changed
Once we had formed a true friendship, I felt comfortable enough to broach the topic of her and Ran's relationship. "Are you happy with Ran?"Oni nodded enthusiastically. "Ran does not only desire to devour but to teach. Before, all I know is feast. Now I know to watch sunset on the beach. I know to speak with words. I know how to touch without eating."Her words were beautiful and lightened my mood.But it always nagged at me that one day when I moved back to the real world, Oni would return to her passive role inside of me. I didn't like the idea of that, and bringing it up seemed cruel, especially if I couldn't help her.I couldn't sit back and do nothing, especially when I could clearly see her growing in independence as her own separate being. So while Ran and Alexis were working on creating the farm, I asked her, "Oni, what would happen if you didn't come back to live inside of me?"Omi smiled. "I wait until I am called to go to the world of the living. You call. I will come.
That night in bed, I tried to get comfortable spooned against Alexis. Feeling his arms wrapped around me usually sent me straight off into a peaceful sleep, especially when he pressed his face against the back of my neck so that he could breathe in the scent of my hair and skin. Alexis often fell asleep that way, and tonight he was half-asleep before my backside had settled against him.He and Ran were working hard to finish the small farm, and Ran wanted to do everything by hand—and not have Alexis create crops already planted in the ground. They would need rain, the correct climate, and more things than a city girl like me would ever understand.Their farming ideas were all very interesting, but I had been distracted when he explained all of this to me earlier at dinner. I couldn't get the conversation with Oni out of my head.I turned to face Alexis. "What are wraiths?"His arm moved to rest on my hip. "Wraiths. Where did you hear of them?" He yawned."Oni and I were talking ab
"Let's do this in the house." I stood, and Oni followed me inside.I needed to leave a note, but we didn't have paper and pen. And if I asked Alexis to produce them, it might make him suspicious.I looked around for something to write with. Ugh! Why were Oni and Ran so neat?I opened the refrigerator and saw mustard. Like me, Ran liked hotdogs so they had plenty of mustard in the refrigerator. Perfect!I picked up the squirt container of mustard. "I'm about to mess up your breakfast bar. Sorry."Oni smiled. "It is okay."I squirted a simple message:I WILL BE BACKI could say more, but it wasn't exactly easy to write with a container of mustard.I looked at the pretty Succubus. "Let's do this."Oni nodded, her eyes never leaving my face.A moment later, she turned into billowy plumes of black smoke and vanished…~*~When Oni disappeared, I instantly felt lighter, emptied of some previously undetected weight. I never realized how much the demons inside of me meant t