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In order to prioritize femme voices, all quotes in this article are from femmes.
Positionality makes a big difference in femme identity: Please note I am a cisgender, white, thin, millenial femme from an upper-middle class background formally trained as a psychotherapist.
Have you ever wondered if you’re femme? Have you been circling around femme identity for a while without knowing if it fits? Are you unsure if you get to call yourself femme? Maybe you’ve heard “femme” more and more and you’re curious about it?
Femme is a beautiful, complex identity. What it looks like, means, and encompasses is different for each of us. I’m sure for many femmes there’s a sense of resistance at my attempt to categorize the identity here. I don’t mean to imply that being femme fits into one specific box! In fact, quite the opposite is true. Femme is all about stepping outside of traditional femininity. Spoiler! I&
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Une femme 3
…And What Femme Is!QueerYes it is!“…Among the LGBTQ+ community, femme is a descriptor that can feel as inherent to someone’s identity as lesbian, bisexual, or genderqueer,” writes Kasandra Brabaw (Brabaw, 2018). Femmes may have any gender identity; some consider femme their gender identity, whileother femmes may have a different gender identity (such as transwoman, nonbinary, cis-woman, genderfluid, agender, etc.) and consider femme their gender expression (“femininity” aligns with gender expression in that it encompassess behaviors, mannerisms, appearance, etc. within a certain cultural context).Additionally, there are femmebois, tomboy femmes, femme daddys, femme dykes, etc. who use language to describe their femme identity even more accurately. Other femmes reject these categorizations altogether. “Ultimately, ‘femme’ is about breaking binaries. It’s about subverting cultural e
Une femme 4
Its Own IdentityToday femme is proudly an identity that is not defined in relation to anything else. “I didn’t self-identify as femme until I met other queer folks who helped me see that femme is its own identity,” states Artemisia FemmeCock. “Femme is intentional; it’s a way of simultaneously challenging and celebrating femininity. It recognizes that I identify with aspects of femininity but don’t identify with the heteronormative system that trivializes and demonizes them” (Donish, 2017).Femininity is often defined in relation to masculinity and positioned as its opposite, whereas femmes don’t see themselves within this binary. Femme pushes back on misogynistic ideas that feminized people are defined through a patriarchal lens or male gaze. Femme is glorious all on its own.Unique to Each Person“From the invisibility queer femmes can feel in some lesbian circles to the sharp vulnerability inhe
Une femme 5
To put it simply,"femme" is a descriptorfor a queer person who presents and acts in a traditionally feminine manner, as explained by feminist media site Autostraddle. This might be a cispillow princess, like myself, an asexual trans woman, or a gay non-binary individual, but all femmes hit upon two key aesthetic and identity-related traits: Being feminine and falling somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum.There is also a sense of reclamation when it comes to the femme descriptor. For many, it's about owning the stereotypes and expectations so often placed on women and making them our own. As Evan Urquhart wrote for Slate in 2015, "Intentionality is the key todistinguishing a femme identityfrom a traditionally feminine one."Urquhart's point is that being femme isn't about acting feminine or "girly" in the ways mainstream society generally feels that female-presenting people "should" act. Instead, it's about su
Une femme 6
1940s through 60s culture[edit] Main article:Butch and femme Scholars Heidi M. Levitt and Sara K. Bridges state that the termsbutchandfemmeare derived from the 1940s-1950s American lesbian communities following World War II "when women joined the work force and began wearing pants, creating the possibility for the development of a butch aesthetic andgender expressionwithin gay women's communities." They state that "the butch-femme culture made lesbians visible for the first time."[4] Femme lesbian scholarJoan Nestledescribes the femme lesbian identity as being underrepresented in histor
Une femme 7
1940s through 60s culture[edit]Main article:Butch and femmeScholars Heidi M. Levitt and Sara K. Bridges state that the termsbutchandfemmeare derived from the 1940s-1950s American lesbian communities following World War II "when women joined the work force and began wearing pants, creating the possibility for the development of a butch aesthetic andgender expressionwithin gay women's communities." They state that "the butch-femme culture made lesbians visible for the first time."[4]Femme lesbian scholarJoan Nestledescribes the femme lesbian identity as being underrepresented in historical r
Une femme 8
1940s through 60s culture[edit]Main article:Butch and femmeScholars Heidi M. Levitt and Sara K. Bridges state that the termsbutchandfemmeare derived from the 1940s-1950s American lesbian communities following World War II "when women joined the work force and began wearing pants, creating the possibility for the development of a butch aesthetic andgender expressionwithin gay women's communities." They state that "the butch-femme culture made lesbians visible for the first time."[4]Femme lesbian scholarJoan Nestledescribes the femme lesbian identity as being underrepresented in historical r
Une femme 9
1940s through 60s culture[edit]Main article:Butch and femmeScholars Heidi M. Levitt and Sara K. Bridges state that the termsbutchandfemmeare derived from the 1940s-1950s American lesbian communities following World War II "when women joined the work force and began wearing pants, creating the possibility for the development of a butch aesthetic andgender expressionwithin gay women's communities." They state that "the butch-femme culture made lesbians visible for the first time."[4]Femme lesbian scholarJoan Nestledescribes the femme lesbian identity as being underrepresented in historical r
Une femme 1
1940s through 60s culture[edit]Main article:Butch and femmeScholars Heidi M. Levitt and Sara K. Bridges state that the termsbutchandfemmeare derived from the 1940s-1950s American lesbian communities following World War II "when women joined the work force and began wearing pants, creating the possibility for the development of a butch aesthetic andgender expressionwithin gay women's communities." They state that "the butch-femme culture made lesbians visible for the first time."[4]Femme lesbian scholarJoan Nestledescribes the femme lesbian identity as being underrepresented in historical r
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