Chapter Four

Flashback to when Lila's mom died. 

Lila. 

I slowly stroked Kyle's hair until he felt asleep. I Walked slowly back to the waiting room and sat there texting Jade. 

As I sat there, the antiseptic smell of the place clinging to my place was starting to get to me. I was starting to feel a little dizzy. 

I hated hospitals. The cold metal chairs, the sterile environment, the way it seemed to stretch and warp, becoming an interminable void.. 

As I tried to look at the floor counting the tiles trying to lose myself in it, a sudden flash of memory gripped me, pulling me back to the last time I had been in a hospital room, under very different circumstances. 

It was almost fifteen years ago now. But the memories came back so vividly. I could almost feel myself back in that moment. I was sitting in another waiting room, another hospital but in the same uncomfortable chair, but back then the walls seemed to close in on me even more. 

My mother had been the one admitted in the intensive care unit. She had been in a car accident, drunk driver hit and run. 

And I remember praying so much for her to wake up, and every time I saw a doctor I hoped they would tell me that finally my mom was up, but every time they would pass me and not say a word. 

I remember the coldness of the room as I sat beside her bed, my hand resting gently on my mother's fragile body, just the same way I had held Kyle a few moments ago. 

The woman who had once been so strong, so vibrant, was now a mere shadow of herself, her body ravaged by the accident that now she could not even breath on her own. The machine helping her breathing beeping of the machines, the way it punctuated the silence between us. I remember trying to talk to her, make conversation. I told her about the boy I had a crush on who paid me no mind. I told her that I needed her to wake up, I told her I still needed her. But words felt meaningless in the face of what was happening. 

My mother was the strongest woman I knew. She was hardworking, she was intelligent, she was kind. She loved helping people, she always said to always be kind. 

She was the glue that held our family together, but in that hospital bed, she was no longer the strong woman I admired. 

And I remember the first moment I realised she was not going to make it. 

I remembered wanting someone to tell me it's going to be okay. 

I was helpless. 

There was nothing I could do to ease my mother's suffering, nothing I could say to make her feel better. I remembered the way the doctors and nurses just moved around us going about their life like my one world wasn't falling apart. 

I still remember my mother's final moments, when her breathing started becoming shallow, labored. 

I had watched her take her last breath and I had watched them turn off the machines. 

And it broke my heart into tiny little pieces. 

I didn't even realize my eyes were now teary. 

"Ms Lila." The sound of the nurse calling my name brought me back to reality. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." I said, wiping the tears away. 

"The doctor is ready to see you now." she said, smiling gently before she walked away. 

I stood up and followed her to the doctor's office. 

I sat down across from the man who held my son's life in his hands. 

"I am sorry for keeping you waiting Ms Lila."

"What's wrong with my son?" I asked as my Leg started shaking uncontrollably with anxiety. 

"Does your family have a history of heart disease?" 

"Not really, not that I know.." I said before stopping mid sentence. 

"What's wrong?" 

"His dad.." I said , shaking. 

"What about his dad?" 

"I don't know anything about his family."

"Then you should talk to him about it."

"That's the problem, I don't know who his dad is." I said feeling a lump form up in my throat. "Just tell me what's wrong with my son?" 

"Ms Lila, your son has a little hole in his heart, it is very manageable since it's still in its early stages so it's manageable if we start the treatment right away." 

My head immediately blacked out after he said hole in his heart. Everything after that was just a blur. All that was going through my mind was how I was going to be able to pay for his medical bills. I didn't even know who his father was. 

" Ms Lila, are you okay?" 

"How soon should the treatment begin?" I finally managed to ask. 

"I would advise that we start the treatment immediately."

"Okay." I said in tears and immediately walked out.