Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

I woke up when I felt that wala na akong katabi sa kama. I looked at my side and saw no one. Rhysand is probably already at his work.

Bumangon ako na may ngiti sa mga labi. Napadako ang tingin ko sa sticky note na nasa mini table rito sa kwarto niya. Kinuha ko ito at binasa.

“I prepared breakfast for you. Vanilla already went to school and I am at the company if you need something.”

Iyon ang nakasulat. I scoffed. Ano kami newlyweds? He shouldn't be this sweet. We are not a thing. O baka naman, akala niya... I shook my head. Stop being assuming, Leur.

I took a shower and dressed myself bago ako bumaba at nag prepare ng sarili kong pagkain. I chose not to eat the meal he prepared for me. After that I prepared my car.

I want to visit her. This would be my first time visiting her.

Nang makarating ako sa cemetery ay sinalubong ako ng malamig na hangin. I slowly sat down at the grass. Wala akong dalang mat at tanging pagkain at bulaklak lang.

I bit my lip as I stared at her gravestone. Uminit ang sulok ng mga mata ko. My nose went red and runny.

“Baby... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not visiting you.” mahinang paghihingi ng tawad ko at hinawakan ang pangalan niya.

Such a beautiful name.

“I am with your father, again. Do you want to meet him?”

Kinuha ko ang paper bag na may laman na dress. It's a white kids' dress that has flowers as the design.

“Look, its for you, love.” inilagay ko ito sa tabi ng lapida niya. “Hmm, binili ko yan 5 years ago.” nakangiting sabi ko.

I was supposed to give it to her as a gift for her first birthday. Pero hindi natuloy. If only that accident didn't happened. We surely have lived together happily.

I started sobbing. It has been five years yet here I am, still mourning and hoping that my baby is alive.

“I want to hold you. I want to feel your warmth, Villanelle.” I whimpered.

After that visit, I decided to fetch Vanilla sa school niya. Well, Rhysand told me to do it because he's busy, so why not fetch his daughter? Of course, I wore a black glasses, so people won't notice me.

“Excuse me, sino po ang hinihintay niyo?” magalang na tanong ng babae sa akin. I looked at her. She's probably a teacher based on her uniform.

“I'm waiting for Vanilla Velarde.” I said.

Lumiwanag ang mukha niya. “Oh, are you her mother?” she asked.

Ngiti lang ang naging tugon ko sakaniya. I can't say I am and I also can't say I am not. It's safer to just smile as the answer.

“Mommy!!”

Pareho kaming napalingon ng biglang may batang tumakbo papalapit sa amin. I smiled when I saw Vanilla running towards me, wearing her school uniform while holding her lunchbox.

Mabilis na niyakap niya ang beywang ko. I stroke her hair and she tilted her head up and smiled at me.

“You came! You came!” she squealed.

I caressed her face and tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Uhumm, how's school?” I asked as we started walking.

Hawak-hawak ko ang maliit niyang kamay habang naglalakad kami palabas ng school niya. Tiningala niya ako. She flashed a bright smile.

“It's good! Our teacher told us to draw a family picture.”

“But you know what mommy, when I started drawing a family picture with daddy, me, and you in it. Tinawanan nila ako.” she pouted.

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Bakit naman?” tanong ko habang inaayos ang seat belt niya.

I started the engine. I maneuvered the steering wheel and started driving.

“Sabi nila mali raw po 'yong drinawing ko. They said I shouldn't have put a mother in my drawing since I don't have one.” pagkukwento niya.

Nilingon ko siya at nakita ang lungkot sa mukha niya. She's bitting her lower lip as if she's trying to stop herself from crying.

“But you draw me, right? I am your mommy, remember?” I softly said while focusing at the street.

“Yes,” mahinang sabi niya at ipinakita sa akin ang drawing nito.

I glanced at her and gave her an assuring smile.

“That means you have one. You have a mother because you have me.”

I know that I am not enough to mother Vanilla. She also needs her mother's love. Her biological mother's love, to be exact. I don't know why and I don't know what the reason is why she left her daughter, and as much as I want to question her mother, I know that I am not in a position to do it.

“I wish you're my real mother, mommy.” she said and pained a smile.

Nang makarating kami sa bahay ay ka agad siyang pumasok sa kwarto niya para magbihis at gawin ang assignment niya. I wanted to help her but she insisted that she can manage. So i chose to just mind my own business.

Dahan-dahan kong pinihit ang doorknob ng opisina ni Rhysand. It's cold. It's all black and grey. Tanging lamesa at malaking cabinet lang ang nandoon. No designs, no pictures on the walls. One word to describe it? Plain.

I walked towards his table. His papers and other things are well arranged. Binuksan ko ang maliit na cabinet doon sa ilalim ng lamesa niya. My forehead formed lines when I saw a paper. Kinuha ko ang nag-iisang papel doon at binuksan. I unfolded the paper and it revealed the drawing of a house.

Nagtagpo ang dalawang kilay ko. Seeing this paper feels nostalgic. It's very familiar, and If I clearly remember, I am the one who draw this.

Hindi na ako na gulat nang tiningnan ko ang pangalan sa likod ng papel.

Fleur Garnet Harisson-Velarde's dream house

I wet and bit my my lower lip. He still have this? It's been what? six years since I draw this. Pero bakit nasa kaniya pa? The paper looks old and was crumpled but he still managed to keep it for so long.

But I don't understand. Why would he keep something not worthy to keep, wherein fact we already broke up years ago.

“What are you doing?” a deep rough voice asked.

Dali-dali kong tiniklop ulit ang papel at itinago sa bulsa ko. Tumingin ako sakaniya na para bang hindi ako nangialam ng gamit niya.

“N-Nothing. I just decided to clean your office since it was messy.” pagdadahilan ko. “If you'll excuse me,” ani ko bago umalis at iniwan siya roon sa loob.

Lumabas ako ng bahay at kinompara ang drawing ko sa bahay niya ngayon. It looks the same. The house that I draw years ago and his house where we are sleeping are the same. Bawat detalye sa iginuhit ko ay kuhang-kuha.

He kept his promise. He didn't break it.

“Fleur?” a baritone voice suddenly called my name.

Napatigil ako sa pag-iisip at nilingon kung sino 'yon.

Aljier on his black trousers and turtle neck shirt paired with his black aysoti shoes suddenly appeared infront of me. Malinis ang buhok niya at may bitbit siyang paper bag sa kaliwang kamay niya.

“Aljier, what are you doing here?” gulat na tanong ko.

He also looked shocked when he saw me. Nanlalaki ang mga mata niyang nakatingin sa akin.

“I am visiting Vanilla, Rhysand's daughter. And you? What are you doing here?”

“I-I'm... I live here.”

Nagsalubong ang mga mata niya. He stared at me for long and suddenly he cursed under his breath.

“You already know?”

Nagugulahan akong tumingin sakaniya. What is he saying? I already know what? That Rhysand has a daughter?

He momentarily stared at me and, “Damn it! That jerk. Hindi niya pa rin sinabi.” he murmured.

Sinabi ang alin?

Tatanungin ko pa sana siya dapat pero inunahan niya na akong pumasok sa loob.

“Tito Jiji!!” Vanilla shouted and run towards Aljier.

Tumawa ng mahina si Aljier at dinala si Vanilla sa kanyang bisig at inangat sa ere. Pina ulanan niya ng halik si Vanilla sa buhok nito and he wisps her hair softly behind her ears.

“Where's tita Nini po?” tanong ni Vanilla sa maliit niyang boses.

Aljier chuckled and put her down. “At our house, Vivi.” sagot niya sa bata at ginulo ang baby hair nito.

Lumingon siya saglit sa akin at nginitian ako. I confusedly smiled in return. Bumaling ulit siya kay Vanilla at ibinigay ang paper bag sa bata.

“A gift?!” napangiwi ako dahil sa matinis na boses ni Vanilla.

“Uhumm, now, where's your father, Vanilla?” tanong ni Aljier ng nakangiti habang pinagmamasadan ang bata na binubuksan ang regalo na dala niya.

“He's in his office po,” sagot naman ni Vanilla at hindi nag abalang binalingan ng tingin ang tito niya.

Aljier smiled at Vanilla for the last time and turned at me. His eyes became dark and deep. Umigting ang panga niya na kanina niya pa pinipigilan.

“Should I escort you upstairs?” tanong ko sakaniya.

“Hindi na, kaya ko na.” sabi niya “Anyway, welcome back, Fleur.” bago siya dumiretso sa itaas.

I just shrugged and helped Vanilla unwrapping the gift she received. Laking tuwa niya ng makitang may malaking set ng barbie ang natanggap niya.

“Look mommy she's so beautiful.” ipinakita niya sa akin ang barbie.

I smiled “She looks like you,” sabi ko sakaniya.

She giggled and gave me the other doll.