8] In Oblivion

*******

The colourless pale faces and those arid grounds; and all the broken soul still holds hope of colours blooming all around.

******

~Selene

There was a weird feeling revolving and threatening at the back of my mind; I felt some eyes staring at us. Before I could turn back to check if there is someone who is following us. Allen has made me sit beside him inside the car.

"I can't wait; I had a million things to talk about. I went to your house and your mother dictated a weird story. For a moment I was in a state of shock. If you hadn't called me yesterday, I would have preassumed a lot of things. I was a mess of emotions yesterday. For God sake, you need to clear all the misunderstandings. Why did your mom said you are married?" He continued imploring a lot of questions all were meant to be answered but I didn't know from where shall I start. There are a lot of things to explain. 

"Things are a lot twisted...skewed beyond correction. It is hard for me to explain all the things to you. But yeah! I am ma..." I was about to complete my sentence when he interrupted me in between " It looks like a nice cafe. I know you like hot coffee. Let's go and have a talk over there." Cutting me off in between of the serious revelation I was about to do he made an amazing offer which I can't deny.

I am craving a good coffee. Some light moments would surely relieve my mind of all the stress it has been undergoing and it would be a nice place to talk and clear all of the situations.

Saying the truth I did have a crush on Allen for the way he look, for the way he cares for me and the way he is extremely protective and always helps me. There is a soft corner for him in my heart.

I had liked him certainly but had never admitted it, I knew he deserves better. For the type of person he is, he deserves the best of the best girls.

He is someone after whom a lot of girls go mad; even in school all of the girls were after him. In college they would beg me for arranging a date with him. All of the girls were jealous of the bond we cherish. He never mentioned that I look ugly or is not beautiful enough like other boys would do. He would always bring a smile on my face. He would spend endless time talking with me. He once proposed to me that he love me and want us to be together. But, I knew he deserve better and then never felt love for him. I thought it was just pure attraction and hence I tried to hold on tightly to the friendship and let go of the proposal. He respected my feelings and never made me uncomfortable again by mentioning anything which could upset me. After all, I was not ready for any affair, relationships and all those shit. I had a good friend and I would cherish this relation, I chose to better focus on my studies.

"Hey! So let's go inside. " Holding my hand and crossing an arm to rest on my shoulder he took me amidst the crowd and we went inside the cafe.

I knew that he has no feelings for me, and once I am married I had also buried all the existent feelings for him. What survives is just a pure bond of friendship. I am here to clear the air around us and bid him a final goodbye. I am pretty sure he never had any feelings for me, I was just a good friend for him. So, surely he will understand me.

"Sele, Sit down. Relax." He held out a chair for me, while we had sat down he still had my palm while his thumb rubbed at the back of it..."Soon Everything would be fine." he has sensed the clouds of pessimism and worries covering me from all the sides. 

 He tried to send the signals of positivity and calm my fast racing heart which was in a muddle between what shall I do.! How shall I fight my fate? I was still not able to process whatever has happened in my life and whatever was still happening in my life.

 “I don’t know…I don’t know if things would ever be fine. I don’t know if I would ever meet you again.” I said in a broken voice, I tried hard to reconcile my broken pieces.

“Hey, Buddy. Now I am really worried about you. I always knew you as a happy bubbly girl who would never give up and send happy energies all through the universe. Even in the worst situations I had never seen you in such a vulnerable state. My friend was someone who would lift up all depressed souls but the way I am witnessing you, you don’t look like a warrior but like a broken and lost soul sinking in pessimism.” 

"Life has taken unexpected turns; Don't worry. It would take some time for me to adjust to this phase of life. And at last you know your Selene; I am a warrior. I would never give up." I said winking with a smile. The smile might have been fake but the morale and spirit behind what I said were surreal.

"I know dear, I am just a little worried about you. You sounded extremely weird and tensed on call and even now when I saw you, you look different. There is something eating you up from inside. You had lost your happy vibes. Now you must tell me what is wrong. Straightaway tell me what has happened." He knows me very well and hence has sensed a lot of it.

“I am married.”

“Holy Shit! So it means all what your mom told me was true. You are married. I thought she is lying and you would be having a different story to tell. Don’t tell me she was right.” He was exploding like anything after listening to the small statement I made.

 “What did Cadie told you?” I asked in confusion, I fear she might have cooked a bad story to fill up his mind. So that he detests me beyond doubts and forgets me forever. Mariah loves him, she wants to marry him at any cost. After all, he is very rich and Cadie don’t want to leave a stone unturned to get her daughter Mariah to marry him.

She had been dragging me all the while in all this; she had emotionally blackmailed me a million times to take this proposal to Allen, and insist him to marry Mariah.

“Allen, What did she say?” Looking at his disappointed dropped down face which has lost all its shine and the silence which has unravelled, I asked the question again to break the silence.

“I thought of you as of being a nice girl; I thought you are different from all the other girls. But you are all of the same. You are just behind money and nothing else. Is this friendship is also because of my money.” He uttered these senseless statements breaking a part of my heart.

“She told me that how you eloped the house to marry an extremely rich brat, you deceived your mother and father broke their heart, just to marry a person whom you never loved but just for his money.”

“When did your ideal become such cheap.”

“I detest myself for adoring you. For thinking of you as a virtuous girl who values sentiments and emotions over anything else. Do you remember the day I proposed to you?  The whole college was behind me, but I was attracted towards you due to this difference of attitude and ideals you had. I thought you are somebody who is extremely good at heart. When you denied my proposal I was a bit broken but I was proud of my friend who would not run behind money like another girl. If I had proposed to any other girl she would have said yes for sure. She would have said yes just for the sake of my money. But I was glad that you are not like that. You are not money minded senseless human, stoic with no feeling and no appreciation for love.”

“But I was wrong, I was extremely wrong.” He continued grieving.

I had no idea of what he was talking about on the top of it he was not giving me any chance to explain myself.

“Allen…Please listen to me… let me tell you the truth..”

“Darling, Here you are.” The chilling voice permeated my ears.

I was about to complete my statement and tell him all the truth but then I was stopped by a suspective voice, which was aimed at me but I was not able to recognise it.