“Hana, are you ready?” Suho inquired.“No.”“But, we’re just half in our itinerary!” Suho tilted his head, gazing into her eyes while Hana shunned him away. “I have a surprise for you.”“TA-DA!” Go-eun and Kwanghee popped out of nowhere. Hana jumped from her chair. And all four laughed as if it was just yesterday when they last met each other. Kwanghee winked at Suho; Go-eun gave him an o-kay sign. She became silent after all the glee, then zoned out.“What’s with her?” Kwanghee inquired, nudging at Suho.“I’m not feeling well,” Hana answered the question herself.“Eh… maybe you’re just tired. I can promise you this trip will melt all your stress away,” Suho retorted, his face beaming, eyeballs barely visible. Before Hana could protest, they hauled her outside of the house to where Kwanghee’s brother was awaiting. They traveled to Gyeonggi-do and took turns describing the place to Hana. A view with sweeping azalea blossoms, looking over a lake surrounded by cherry blossoms. All thr
Darkness loomed over the city as the sunset on the horizon. In mid-Spring, a Slight drizzle made Suho and Kwanghee retreat in the car, watching for Dr. Song to come back.Kwanghee put on some music from the radio. And the voice of Steven Tyler racking the airwaves, singing in a high-pitch tone to the pop song, “I don’t wanna miss a thing.” He couldn’t help but sing to his heart’s content, trying to distract Suho, who was twitching in his seat.Suho rolled down the windows in his haze. “Chill, man. Ani (no)... I mean, why didn’t she tell us earlier that she’s not feeling well? We could have saved everyone’s time and energy climbing up the mountain.”“But she did. You weren’t paying attention. Didn’t you see she’s been quiet the whole time?” Go-eun interrupted, crouching her head into the car next to Suho’s seat.“NO! We’ve been too excited to even notice. How can she just damp water on a fiery pit that’s roasting some good meat? She’s such a killjoy,” Kwanghee whined, making a face at
“I’ll hunt you down if I have to.” Kang Jun added, rolling up his window, and zoomed away before Suho could counter.The red Porsche zoomed away like the speed of a jet plane, spinning dust and withered leaves from the pavement. Suho’s hair whished from his face. He paused by the gate, blinking several times, waiting until the car was out of sight.A sharp breeze cut through his skin, tingling his entire body down to the core.“Ooh! It’s cold.” Suho shivered. He folded his arms around his body, vigorously rubbing both arms, scampered to his room, taking two steps at a time. Upstairs, he peeked at Hana’s room and saw her shadow moving across the room, then the lights turned off. Took off his knapsack, collapsing on his bed face down. Punching the cushion because he knew Kang Jun was right. Everything that has done so far has put Hana in a rough spot. And although he meant well this time, it was a total failure. How could he not know that she hated hiking or even knew that she was sick?
“Hello.” Hana waited for an answer from the other end of the line but only heard heavy breathing making her cringe, tiny hairs stood behind her neck. “Hello? Is anyone there?” She paused, waiting for the caller to answer back. “I’m going to hang up now.”“Wait,” a hoarse voice resonated through the receiver. “Hana, Hana,” his voice slurry.Hana gulped, cleared her voice, “Suho Oppa, is that you?” “Who else could it be…” coughing in the middle. “But you’re ever-reliable, the most handsome friend. Who am I kidding?” He snorted. “I’m just a lowly servant, a failure. I’m not even a pinky finger comparable to your knight in shining armor speeding away in his flashy horse. I only have Patrasche but he has Porsche,” his tone sarcastic.“Are you drunk or something?” Hana clutched at the handset.“Me? Drunk? Hahahaha! Of course, not! I know what I’m talking about.”“Oppa, let’s talk some other time.”“Now, you don’t want to talk to me anymore? Woah! You have changed, Hana. Why don’t you want
The school from the outside looked peaceful. But from the inside, the real chaos lied. Students, in their teens, in conflicting emotions. With too much at stake, their attention divided, eyes wandering outside the four corners of the classroom.Hundreds of trees were planted around the soccer fields. In one of the Korean Red Pine, that’s where Suho hid himself. Clad in a white shirt and brown scarf, tucking in both hands in his gray coat. The tree was the closest to the gate, giving him visibility of the senior’s classrooms. And he knew exactly where Hana sat. His small eyes fixated on that exact spot.Two months have passed since the examination scores came out. But the conversation between Hana and Suho during his drunken state has left him scarred for life. And he couldn’t imagine its impact on Hana’s as they have not intentionally talked to each other ever since. Their encounters were more casual rather than friendly.&
August 2004Daegu“Did you invite them?” Kwanghee spun around, smoothing off his brown coat. He questioned Go-eun, who looked vexed for being asked the same question three times in a row.She rolled her eyes, fixed her pink ruffled blouse over bedazzled pants, and responded," NO" in defiance.Go-eun, together with their classmates from high school, met at a barbecue place in the newly developed hangout area in Daegu. Most of the girls and the only two boys were Kwanghee and Jin.“Quit asking if they want to be here they should’ve arrived by now,” Baekhina interjected, pouring beer in her glass. “I wish it would be Suho, though,” chuckling with the rest of the girls. She gawked at Kwanghee, “Call him,” she commanded.Kwanghee got up as he couldn’t take the heat any longer. His jitters getting the best of him as his military enlistment came close. Anxious staying among girls, he took out his new mobile phone from his pocket and about to step out of the restaurant when the door opened.
“There’s no turning back,” I admitted to myself after the horn honked right into my ears. I have been a lawyer for years, unaffected at even the most dangerous criminal, only to wither like a plant in front of Hana. The truth hurts that behind the shining half moon in the starless sky, she was at the dark unseen side. At that very moment, trying to reclaim her position only clouded with dark clouds.As the green light turned on, I pressed on the accelerator zooming past the hundreds of cars on the street. Driving further away from Gangnam, from the truth I can’t bring myself to admit. After an hour of mindless driving, it brought me to the same spot where broken hearts go. Found myself in Dongdaemun along the strips of tent bars where adults crashed after a hard day’s work. My sentiments may not even be far from them. In these cramp gray tent bars where alcohol and bar snacks were sold, we pour out our deepest regrets and l
Hana stood up, gathered her coat, her eyes fixated on the floor., and breathed heavily. “I’m sorry, Oppa.”“For what?” I asked, all the while clutching firmly at the armrest of my couch. Every vein popping out, restraining myself from doing something I might later regret.She turned around and, with heavy feet, sauntered towards the door without replying to my question.I Still have a lot of questions left unanswered. She can’t leave hanging again, can’t she? I cleared my throat, “Hana, why are you here?”She stopped on her track, “Nothing. Forget about it.” Her right hand on the doorknob, “Honestly, I don’t know where else to go but here. You’re the only one to who I can open up without any fear. Sorry for being delusional, thinking perhaps that could at least lend me an ear. But I guess that’s already in the past. I’m not in
“That’s not the Hana I know.” I watched her expression shift like the lioness to a stray cat in the wilderness. “I thought everything was going well for you. What happened?” I stopped asking the same question to myself. I don’t think I am the same Suho either, or am I? Why am I even questioning myself now?Hana tilted her head, blinked several times, her eyes focused on me. Then asked, “So, who is the Hana, you know?”I leaned back, rested my elbows on the armrest, interlaced my fingers, and looked at her. “The Hana I know is someone who knows exactly what she wanted and would do anything to get it. She’s an achiever who never stops until she’s satisfied and not when she’s tired.” I smirked, scanning her from head to foot. “You sound more like ME back in high school rather than the Hana I knew.”“Maybe we’ve switched souls,&rdq
The lioness came out of the den and caught me off guard. My heart palpitating, palms sweating, and throat dried from the thought. Our conversation still echoed in my ears.“Hello,” I answered in a low, intimidating tone. It was more than what I intended to do, not knowing who the other person on the other line was. Whoever it was has interrupted my peace and must pay for it. “Hello,” a woman’s voice reverberated through the other end of the line. Her voice brought chills to my bones. In an instant, a wind zapped me through a deep tunnel, the speed of lightning. One word was enough for my mind to be blown away.I leaned forward, unconsciously gripping the wooden arm of my chair, my knuckles turning crimson. I banished to a place where black clouds appeared on the horizon and fog blurs everything in sight. My mind whirling as I bit my lips. “Suho,” her sweet voice echoing through the dense mist. “Are you still there?” she asked. “Hana,” pausing in between, breathing after each
***Suho’s POV***November 4, 2005I started writing because I was happy. Today, I only write to feel amidst the depression.Exactly a year has passed. Ever since that day, November 4, 2004, my love vanished in thin air. But every detail was still vivid in my mind like it merely happened yesterday. The truth was it’s a memoir that should have perished like the seafoam. Yet, for some reason, the waves kept pushing back these foam to the shore.From the time we left Busan, everything went easily, better than what I imagined. Hana became busier than normal. Working two shifts for the pet store, running errands for Grandma Jung and eomma, and volunteering at the shrine.While I sat around waiting for the result of the bar exam, standing by for her to come home every day. Her busy schedule ended with bus dates. Every morning, we’d have breakfast, send her to work, and
“Was it all worth it?” Hana’s eyes shifted, watching the full moon from afar.The moonlight cast a warm glow over the sea turned bleak, hiding behind gigantic dark clouds swallowing it whole. It’s face hidden in the starless night. It was as if it’s sending a distress signal of impending danger.“Love is WORTH it. I’d rather be a heartbroken prince than a soulless creature on earth.” His voice steady but warm. He reached out for Hana’s hand and clasped it within his two hands.“Your hands are so warm,” she mumbled. Tears fell on Hana’s cheeks, leaning closer on his shoulders.Together, they watched the moon reveal its face once again. Dark clouds drifted away, creating a halo in the black sky.Suho pulled her up, walking hand in hand, next to the seashore towards their trailer van. Waves crashing in on their barefooted feet.“Ya! What are you