1995
Daegu, South Korea
Suho Lee's monolid eyes squinted, creating creases in between his brows, as the morning sun flooded inside his room.
He smelled the scent of hot chocolate and cinnamon whiffing in the air in the morning.
The smell itself told him it was morning making him relaxed and calm.
Trying to make out the time, he peeked at the clock with one eye shut, sighing, and decided 6 am was too early to stand up.
The chilly breeze swayed the hanging planes in his ceiling, his eyes swerving to the pictures of basketball icons, from Michael Jordan to Haneul Lee, Suho’s dad.
Winter air whispered to him, sinking further into his comforter, lulling him to sleep.
Haneul Lee, Suho’s father, born and raised in Seoul.
Little did Haneul Lee know that his once escapade to Daegu with his friends would lead him to meet the love of his life. And his longing for the girl led him to transfer to Daegu in senior high, as a basketball varsity player for Daegu National High School.
He was a free-spirited soul who was able to get away from exams and projects because he’d usually compete for the school.
His family wasn’t wealthy to sustain his luxurious life.
But because he was the basketball ace and a handsome lad at that, he’d usually model for various events and products where he got his extra allowance from. That’s how he sustained living in Daegu, away from his parents, trying to woo the girl who captured his free-spirited soul.
That girl was Suho's mom, Ji Hyo Kwang. She was Daegu’s goddess in the 70s with her long wavy hair, almond brown eyes, and porcelain skin. Her beauty flourished mesmerizing every man in the village.
She wasn’t a princess born from a wealthy family but was rather from humble beginnings of a one-room apartment rental.
Her mother and younger sister were her reason for survival in their hard life, living one day at a time.
The villagers knew her not only for her beauty but her hard work and perseverance. Stopped going to school after senior high, she became the breadwinner for her family, working from one job to the next.
Not skipping a day in her life without finding ways to earn money.
Villagers would often gossip about how wasted her beauty in the suburbs and that she ought to find a fine rich man to marry and live a carefree life.
Her life turned 180 degrees after meeting Haneul Lee at 18.
He confessed that he’d been watching her from afar for a while and vowed to sweep her away one day.
And that came when the two got married at a sweet age of 22. They didn’t have much then and were living with Haneul’s allowance from the National Team and Ji Hyo using the money to invest in a business, doubling their income.
In July of 1979, their love bear fruit with the arrival of Suho.
Suho Lee was their biggest miracle and blessing in their married life.
Soon after, Haneul joined several Olympic competitions and later on played for international teams abroad.
Suho grew up not having his father by his side but watching him on television in every single competition he was a part of. He became his father’s number 1 fan and his hero.
Every time he came home, he’d bring him a replica of the airplane he’d boarded to show him how far he has traveled. Haneul wanted his son to follow his footsteps which Ji Hyo strongly opposed to.
It was in 1985 when Haneul Lee, secured, signed up for a sporting agency that he got an offer to play for a local company and stay in South Korea.
He scored a big bonus which made it possible to build the house in Daegu. Haneul Lee was a household name in South Korea for bringing in fame and glory for the country.
He had endorsement gigs from energy drinks to cars. And the Lee family was at the top of their game. They even purchase an apartment in Seoul and a farm in Gyeonggi-do and have a college trust fund for Suho when he gets older.
The land they purchased in Daegu was Haneul’s gift for his wife for it was where she was born but had to be sold because of poverty.
Ji Hyo was ecstatic at the gift and wished that they built a simple 2-story red-bricked house like the rest of the neighborhood.
As ordinary as it was from the outside, the interior was a different story. Inside, wood was everywhere from the wall to the floor. Haneul added all the latest technology in the 80s from the latest entertainment gadgets to state-of-the-art kitchen equipment.
The first floor housed their living space, dining, and Haneul's office, showcasing all his trophies, memorabilia, and fan's gifts. While the second floor became their living quarters.
Suho, at 6 years old, unlike other kids his age, has a room of his own filled with every toy imaginable and a customized basketball court.
He has traveled to various places watching his father play, checking in different hotels in the cities they visited.
One of his favorite places was a park in a tropical country. Whenever his dad traveled to this country, he’d beg his mom to bring them along with him.
Little did his parents know that he was looking for a specific girl he once met, lost, lonely, and crying by herself.
He gave her one of his paper planes.
Sadly, the only remembrance he had of this little girl was a family picture, with her in the background.
Suho, like his dad, became obsessed with playing basketball at such a young age. This was how he met his best buddies and neighbors, Joo Ho and Kwanghee, who were also his classmates.
He was popular among the kids and even parents at school, especially as the first-born and only child of the legendary basketball king, Haneul Lee.
People were amazed at his resemblance to his father, with the mole under Suho’s left eye as the only defining feature.
Even at a young age, he has captured the hearts of young and old ladies alike, charming them with his vibrant personality.
His friends love having him around for his spontaneity and humor.
While the elders love him for his talent in arts and woodwork.
Grandma Jung, the old lady next to their house, once said that Suho has the best of both worlds -- his father’s vibrant personality and mother’s creativity.
When Suho entered middle school, Mrs. Lee had more time left for herself that she developed a liking for plants.
Realized that she can grow herbs and ornamental plants in the house.
Soon enough, the house was half-filled with every indoor plant available from hanging plants to even exotic houseplants, such as English Ivy.
Not long after, their village head asked her to help design their neighborhood playground.
From then, neighbors and locals nearby towns started buying plants from her.
Before she knew it, the business began to flourish, and they renovated the first floor to a plant store and Mr. Lee's study.
Then, moving the dining and kitchen to the second floor.
Mr. and Mrs. Haneul Lee, with Suho, became the epitome of Daegu's perfect family. All except for small detail.In June of 1990, great news arrived early morning when Mrs. Lee announced a new addition to the family. "It's so surreal," Mrs. Lee said. Suho, at 11, promised that he would be the best brother to his younger sibling. During those times, the family was already settled with Suho in middle school and his college financially secured. They have a business that’s thriving on the first floor of their house. Haneul Lee was busy with his schedule and often stayed in Seoul. Everything was going perfect until, in September of 1990, the news shocked the entire family. Mrs. Lee was in her second term with their baby, still working and trying to balance being a mom, a spouse, and a businesswoman. Haneul’s manager called her out of the blue asking her to go to Seoul immediately. Mrs. Lee wasn’t the type who would abandon everything all of a sudden. The next thing Suho knew was his aunt, Mrs. Lee’s younger sister, moved to their house and his mom packed a few clothes to Seoul. He
At the height of winter, January 1991 turned out to be the coldest month in Daegu with as little sunshine to brighten up the day. It was a perfect excuse for Suho to crop up inside their house, watching his father’s video day and night nonstop. On some occasions, he would play the cassette tape his father would send him on his international trips. Listening to his father’s voice made Suho believe that he was on a trip somewhere taking his time to come home. Mrs. Lee on the other hand had no choice but to pick herself up again. Not known to Suho, she had collapsed on multiple occasions at the hospital due to stress and fatigue, putting the baby at risk. Her husband begged her to take care of herself and the baby as it would be his final gift for her. And she doesn’t have the heart to break that promise despite how challenging things were without her spouse. She couldn’t dissuade Suho either from playing cassette tape or videos even if it tore her heart apart because she kn
January of 1996 Daegu, South Korea It had been almost a year since Joo Ho left. Kwanghee was the only left to ensure that Suho kept his part of the bargain. For that one entire year, Suho worked double to finally make his dream come true. With his friend Kwanghee' 's coaxing, he can finally fulfill his promise to his dad on his grave. Taking that route meant working day in and out to develop his muscles, flexibility, and stamina. Transforming from the slinky kid to a well-built soon-to-be athlete. Suho ever thought it would require so much hard work that he often went home dead tired. Thud. The door and walls shook, pictures and paintings tilted with every bang as if a giant was passing by. "Suho, wake up, it's already noon," her mother Ji Hyo Kwang, better known as Mrs. Lee, called out, pounding against his door. "You are going to be late again!" Suho can see his mother in his mind with her curly hair and grumpy face. Wearing her usual ensemble -- gray blouse a
It was the first day of January 1996, the sky was brighter, and the nights were longer. The cloud loomed over the clear sky, and the sun was shining behind the clouds. Suho's feeling a different surge of energy he couldn't explain. Almost as if a dream is about to come true. He cycled, resembling a raging bull through the crowd of students, turning away from the deserted streets to the busy road. Cycling alone makes you a perfect target for onlookers waiting to beat the hell out of you. Finally, when the coast was clear, he slowed down. His bicycle screeched to a halt at the sight of a large moving van parked outside the house. Boxes were scattered on the road blocking any vehicle from passing through the one-way street. The men in the moving van's uniform carried the containers to the vacant house once occupied by Suho's friend, Joo ho. And he wondered if he could befriend the new occupants too. "Oppa, Oppa," a cute voice from a little girl cut through the stillnes
March 1996 Daegu, South Korea "Where's your brother?" Mrs. Lee fixed her gaze on Naeun, who was seated across the table. She shrugged her shoulders in response, concentrating on her favorite pancake in her hand. Mrs. Lee surveyed the second floor, from the kitchen to the living room in one sweep, with her brown almond-shaped eyes, looking for the suspect. Marching in full force, her brown skirt trailing behind her, she unbolted the door to Suho's room, which was surprisingly empty and clean. No trace of a human being existed. "Where could he be?" crossing her arms, brows wrinkled. Suho, Mrs. Lee noticed, had been acting weird for the last few weeks. "Is he possessed? Should I bring him to a shaman?" Sprinting towards the antic cabinet in the living room looking for a pamphlet. "No. Maybe the gods have heard my plea." Mrs. Lee looked up, spread her arms to the heavens, clasping her hands in sincere gratitude. Heaven knows how long she'd prayed for her son to snap out
Unlike Suho and the other students, Hana would sit in silence and try to get the best seat in the house -- middle, in front of the teacher -- which kids avoid. During breaks, when students chatter, play or escape to a convenience store, the new girl buried herself in the books. Her voice is precious as a diamond, a rare commodity. Her effort to distance herself from others was futile. As boys would hover around her like bees trying to score nectar from the most beautiful flower in the garden. At night when the classes were over, she'd often walk the streets from the center to her house. Suho would pedal his bicycle tortoise-like, matching her pace. Sometimes she'd take the bus, and he'd follow the bus until the next bus stop. Days passed into weeks. The excitement and agitation crept through every vein in Suho's body. Downcasted at the thought of not seeing Hana every day to melodramatic anticipation of the new school year's promise. Suho wasn't after the academic com
"I am not fine. I know I said I was, but I'm not." Suho stared at the glass windowpane next to his study table. On his windowsill was an array of potted ornamental plants from his mom's garden. From Aloe Vera, Peace Lily, Lavender, and English Ivy, which Mrs. Lee explained how they cleansed the air he breathed. But none of those were creating any difference for him at that moment. All framed with a lace curtain, no one will guess the room was his. And no one could tell what he's going through either. That wasn't cool at all. Of all the people who could see me that day, why has it to be her? Cursing in between breaths. Across the street, he has a clear view of his neighbor's window, covered with a cerulean curtain. At night, the bright light in the room gave a silhouette of the enigmatic figure, dancing under the moonlight in the soothing song of The Swan Lake. In the morning, the curtains were drawn, and the owner grooved to the hit music of the 90s. Ace of Spade, MJ,
"Naeun, Naeun," he barked in between the door gap. "Come here for a second."
“There’s no turning back,” I admitted to myself after the horn honked right into my ears. I have been a lawyer for years, unaffected at even the most dangerous criminal, only to wither like a plant in front of Hana. The truth hurts that behind the shining half moon in the starless sky, she was at the dark unseen side. At that very moment, trying to reclaim her position only clouded with dark clouds.As the green light turned on, I pressed on the accelerator zooming past the hundreds of cars on the street. Driving further away from Gangnam, from the truth I can’t bring myself to admit. After an hour of mindless driving, it brought me to the same spot where broken hearts go. Found myself in Dongdaemun along the strips of tent bars where adults crashed after a hard day’s work. My sentiments may not even be far from them. In these cramp gray tent bars where alcohol and bar snacks were sold, we pour out our deepest regrets and l
Hana stood up, gathered her coat, her eyes fixated on the floor., and breathed heavily. “I’m sorry, Oppa.”“For what?” I asked, all the while clutching firmly at the armrest of my couch. Every vein popping out, restraining myself from doing something I might later regret.She turned around and, with heavy feet, sauntered towards the door without replying to my question.I Still have a lot of questions left unanswered. She can’t leave hanging again, can’t she? I cleared my throat, “Hana, why are you here?”She stopped on her track, “Nothing. Forget about it.” Her right hand on the doorknob, “Honestly, I don’t know where else to go but here. You’re the only one to who I can open up without any fear. Sorry for being delusional, thinking perhaps that could at least lend me an ear. But I guess that’s already in the past. I’m not in
“That’s not the Hana I know.” I watched her expression shift like the lioness to a stray cat in the wilderness. “I thought everything was going well for you. What happened?” I stopped asking the same question to myself. I don’t think I am the same Suho either, or am I? Why am I even questioning myself now?Hana tilted her head, blinked several times, her eyes focused on me. Then asked, “So, who is the Hana, you know?”I leaned back, rested my elbows on the armrest, interlaced my fingers, and looked at her. “The Hana I know is someone who knows exactly what she wanted and would do anything to get it. She’s an achiever who never stops until she’s satisfied and not when she’s tired.” I smirked, scanning her from head to foot. “You sound more like ME back in high school rather than the Hana I knew.”“Maybe we’ve switched souls,&rdq
The lioness came out of the den and caught me off guard. My heart palpitating, palms sweating, and throat dried from the thought. Our conversation still echoed in my ears.“Hello,” I answered in a low, intimidating tone. It was more than what I intended to do, not knowing who the other person on the other line was. Whoever it was has interrupted my peace and must pay for it. “Hello,” a woman’s voice reverberated through the other end of the line. Her voice brought chills to my bones. In an instant, a wind zapped me through a deep tunnel, the speed of lightning. One word was enough for my mind to be blown away.I leaned forward, unconsciously gripping the wooden arm of my chair, my knuckles turning crimson. I banished to a place where black clouds appeared on the horizon and fog blurs everything in sight. My mind whirling as I bit my lips. “Suho,” her sweet voice echoing through the dense mist. “Are you still there?” she asked. “Hana,” pausing in between, breathing after each
***Suho’s POV***November 4, 2005I started writing because I was happy. Today, I only write to feel amidst the depression.Exactly a year has passed. Ever since that day, November 4, 2004, my love vanished in thin air. But every detail was still vivid in my mind like it merely happened yesterday. The truth was it’s a memoir that should have perished like the seafoam. Yet, for some reason, the waves kept pushing back these foam to the shore.From the time we left Busan, everything went easily, better than what I imagined. Hana became busier than normal. Working two shifts for the pet store, running errands for Grandma Jung and eomma, and volunteering at the shrine.While I sat around waiting for the result of the bar exam, standing by for her to come home every day. Her busy schedule ended with bus dates. Every morning, we’d have breakfast, send her to work, and
“Was it all worth it?” Hana’s eyes shifted, watching the full moon from afar.The moonlight cast a warm glow over the sea turned bleak, hiding behind gigantic dark clouds swallowing it whole. It’s face hidden in the starless night. It was as if it’s sending a distress signal of impending danger.“Love is WORTH it. I’d rather be a heartbroken prince than a soulless creature on earth.” His voice steady but warm. He reached out for Hana’s hand and clasped it within his two hands.“Your hands are so warm,” she mumbled. Tears fell on Hana’s cheeks, leaning closer on his shoulders.Together, they watched the moon reveal its face once again. Dark clouds drifted away, creating a halo in the black sky.Suho pulled her up, walking hand in hand, next to the seashore towards their trailer van. Waves crashing in on their barefooted feet.“Ya! What are you