My eyes stay fixated on James as I lay beside him, the sun just beginning to rise through the shutters. After the doctors left, after they stitched him up, he stayed here and fell asleep and he's been asleep since. James slept through the night seamlessly, and I assume he must be healing. Alpha blood heals at a quicker pace, but I didn't know he would be asleep for all of it. Part of me hoped for meaningful conversation as he rested in my bed, pillow talk, something deep.
The doctors said he would be back to normal in a day or two.
I get out of bed and walk into the bathroom, shutting the door while I wake up and turn on the shower. I don't lock the door, and part of me gets a rush, but the other focuses on the fact that he'll be asleep for the day. Anyway, I step in and try to rekindle the flame, gathering up the excitement again. My h
Setting down the diary, I look at the clock and see that it's almost time for dinner. Needing a break from Julianna's thoughts, I get up from my bed and make my way to the door, wanting to see if I can help Theresa prepare. Just as I reach for the door handle, it opens. I jump and notice James on the other side. "Oh, hi, I was just going downstairs to help with dinner," I say, feeling my heart calm down."Sorry to scare you," he says, coming inside, "but my father insists on helping with the pack until I'm fully healed. He wants to come over tonight so I can brief him on recent issues, so you can't be here."I nod, slowly. "Sowhere will I go?""Theodore is going to keep you busy until he leaves. The gathering is tonight so I thought he could take you to that. It will onl
I walk on ahead through the trees as Theodore follows behind me. "How could she do that in front of everyone? How can anyone take me seriously after seeing her pour a drink all over me? No one is going to respect me as their Luna now. I'm a joke! I mean, look at me," I grab my dress and frown at the giant red stain. "I knew going to that stupid gathering was going to be a mistake. It always is. It was when I met James, too." I peer back at Theodore. "How could you take me out and not her?Sheattackedme.""You're drunk, Rae. If you actually got hurt I would be as good as dead."I roll my eyes and stumble along the path, tripping over rocks. "I'm never going to another gathering again. Never. Can we—can we even go back? Or is his father still there?"
James took the diaries from my bedroom. He said I can't read them anymore. He put them in the library and locked the door and moved the shelf in front of it and told me to stay away. He said he was going to call the doctor but I begged him not to. I told him that if he did, I would leave. I was emotional at the time.I still have my books and my music and my mother, and I talk to her every night now. I don't care about our disagreements anymore. She doesn't know about what I did, though. If she did, she would drag me back home.I eat all of my meals with James or Gail and Theresa. I assume he told them so they can keep an eye on me. I shower with the door open and one of them sits in my bedroom as I do so. If I want to shave, they fetch a razor. One of them is always in the kitchen. They don't talk about sad things anymore, only positiv
His father sits at the head of the table, James and I on either side of him. James constantly gives me reassuring looks, but I don't know if he's trying to reassure me or himself. It's clear that he's uncomfortable with this, me meeting his father. It only makes me nervous. It only makes the weird feelings grow."So, Rae," his father begins, taking lead, "what pack do you come from?""The Waters Pack," I answer timidly, not wanting to talk at all even though I agreed to this. I feel as I did when I first met James, hardly saying a word.His father nods. "And you're not of an Alpha bloodline?""No," I say carefully, "I'm not."He nods again. "Of a Beta bloodline?"
The blankets are soft against my skin. Light pours in through the closed shutters, giving a dim warmth to the room, and I feel his arms around me. I feel his shallow breaths just reach the back of my neck. I feel like another version of myself, one that I've never met, but one that takes away the anxiety and sadness that clouded my mind before. I'm still Rae, but I'm Content Rae. I'm Satisfied Rae. I'm Rae who just might be okay in the end.Right here, in this spot, I feel happy. It's a light, cozy happiness that kisses your cheek in the morning and again before you fall asleep. It's breathless and smells like home. It's a cracked but lush sidewalk, filling up the holes with color and life. It's summer days and nights on the beach, hearing nothing but the waves. Happiness is me and my one true partner acting as a team and not as enemies. It's experiencing my lowest point then my highest,
"Do you like this one more than the last one?"I turn away from the mirror and shrug. "I don't know, Gail. They're all pretty, I just can't make up my mind, I guess."Gail picks up the next dress by the hanger and hands it to me, this time giving me a long, black dress with a slit on the left side, covered by lace. I take it and shuffle into the bathroom, tired of looking at myself in the mirror while I yank them on. Each time the bags under my eyes seem to grow darker and I contemplate just picking a random one from the pile just so we can stop. "Where do all these dresses even come from?" I ask through the door, pulling the dark fabric over my legs."James asked me to get you some things to try on for the party, so I did. Be glad that you have options," she says as I come out, spinni
Many strangers greet us as we make our way inside. Though I am familiar with the building from the gathering, it looks completely transformed. Sure, it was dressed up before, but everything is switched around now. There are fewer tables and instead more room for standing and chatting or whateverleadersdo. As my eyes scan the area, I see most people standing with a drink, in groups of two to five people. And unlike the gathering, there are guards at the doors outside and inside. Coincidentally, I spot Theodore with one other guard towards the back, and I immediately make plans in my head to see him.James places his hand lightly on my back, reeling me back to the current situation. Knowing that we'll have to welcome everyone, his movements towards the grouped people don't surprise me. I take a quick breath before we reach the first one, a set of three.
Making my way through the people again, back the way I came, I find James and ask him if we can talk. He gives me a worried look and excuses himself before following me back into the corner. "Is it about my father?" He asks. "The guards reported back that they saw nothing.""No, it's not. Ava told me about thisKing of Alphasthing. What is she talking about, James? How come you never said anything?"He lets out a breath and relaxes. "It's nothing. It's just some idea that a few people have been tossing around.""She told me that it was discussed at someAlpha meetingand that your name was brought up. If it's being talked about at some all-important meeting then it sounds serious to me."James gr
The sun's rays warm me, my skin illuminating with life. The golden glow brings a heavenly filter to the forest around us, like walls protecting our castle. This is our land, the True Alpha's. In the middle of the calm meadow is my home, James' home, our families home. In the trees is an army of men. His men. Guards that protect us from the jealous and the evil.In the morning I wake up and quietly tiptoe downstairs, meeting Gail in the kitchen. She hands me a cup of coffee and we sit together outside on the porch. I took her with James and me to the new house. She's family to us. I wish Theresa was here too, but she's passed away, she's in the Goddesses hands now."I can already feel him," I murmur, lifting the mug to my lips, warmed even more by the coffee, feeling as if true happiness is an external and internal warmth that makes one
I sit in the dirt, against a tree, the bark scratching my bare back, and I stay curled up. A thin fog gathers around me, the air frigid. My fingers lose color and I feel as if these are the sensations of death. Everything is cold, so painfully and relentlessly cold. The feeling in my toes fade and I contemplate shifting again to stay alive. I can't be too far, I can't be off of pack land. I should go back but I'm scared that his father will grab me again, that he'll choke me and cut me as he did his wife.'You didn't finish the diary, did you?'A harsh shiver overcomes me and I hold my bare body tighter, ready to shift even though my wolf is exhausted. This is what I get for not letting her out enough, she grows weak.I need to go back, I need to find James, he needs to know the truth
Making my way through the people again, back the way I came, I find James and ask him if we can talk. He gives me a worried look and excuses himself before following me back into the corner. "Is it about my father?" He asks. "The guards reported back that they saw nothing.""No, it's not. Ava told me about thisKing of Alphasthing. What is she talking about, James? How come you never said anything?"He lets out a breath and relaxes. "It's nothing. It's just some idea that a few people have been tossing around.""She told me that it was discussed at someAlpha meetingand that your name was brought up. If it's being talked about at some all-important meeting then it sounds serious to me."James gr
Many strangers greet us as we make our way inside. Though I am familiar with the building from the gathering, it looks completely transformed. Sure, it was dressed up before, but everything is switched around now. There are fewer tables and instead more room for standing and chatting or whateverleadersdo. As my eyes scan the area, I see most people standing with a drink, in groups of two to five people. And unlike the gathering, there are guards at the doors outside and inside. Coincidentally, I spot Theodore with one other guard towards the back, and I immediately make plans in my head to see him.James places his hand lightly on my back, reeling me back to the current situation. Knowing that we'll have to welcome everyone, his movements towards the grouped people don't surprise me. I take a quick breath before we reach the first one, a set of three.
"Do you like this one more than the last one?"I turn away from the mirror and shrug. "I don't know, Gail. They're all pretty, I just can't make up my mind, I guess."Gail picks up the next dress by the hanger and hands it to me, this time giving me a long, black dress with a slit on the left side, covered by lace. I take it and shuffle into the bathroom, tired of looking at myself in the mirror while I yank them on. Each time the bags under my eyes seem to grow darker and I contemplate just picking a random one from the pile just so we can stop. "Where do all these dresses even come from?" I ask through the door, pulling the dark fabric over my legs."James asked me to get you some things to try on for the party, so I did. Be glad that you have options," she says as I come out, spinni
The blankets are soft against my skin. Light pours in through the closed shutters, giving a dim warmth to the room, and I feel his arms around me. I feel his shallow breaths just reach the back of my neck. I feel like another version of myself, one that I've never met, but one that takes away the anxiety and sadness that clouded my mind before. I'm still Rae, but I'm Content Rae. I'm Satisfied Rae. I'm Rae who just might be okay in the end.Right here, in this spot, I feel happy. It's a light, cozy happiness that kisses your cheek in the morning and again before you fall asleep. It's breathless and smells like home. It's a cracked but lush sidewalk, filling up the holes with color and life. It's summer days and nights on the beach, hearing nothing but the waves. Happiness is me and my one true partner acting as a team and not as enemies. It's experiencing my lowest point then my highest,
His father sits at the head of the table, James and I on either side of him. James constantly gives me reassuring looks, but I don't know if he's trying to reassure me or himself. It's clear that he's uncomfortable with this, me meeting his father. It only makes me nervous. It only makes the weird feelings grow."So, Rae," his father begins, taking lead, "what pack do you come from?""The Waters Pack," I answer timidly, not wanting to talk at all even though I agreed to this. I feel as I did when I first met James, hardly saying a word.His father nods. "And you're not of an Alpha bloodline?""No," I say carefully, "I'm not."He nods again. "Of a Beta bloodline?"
James took the diaries from my bedroom. He said I can't read them anymore. He put them in the library and locked the door and moved the shelf in front of it and told me to stay away. He said he was going to call the doctor but I begged him not to. I told him that if he did, I would leave. I was emotional at the time.I still have my books and my music and my mother, and I talk to her every night now. I don't care about our disagreements anymore. She doesn't know about what I did, though. If she did, she would drag me back home.I eat all of my meals with James or Gail and Theresa. I assume he told them so they can keep an eye on me. I shower with the door open and one of them sits in my bedroom as I do so. If I want to shave, they fetch a razor. One of them is always in the kitchen. They don't talk about sad things anymore, only positiv
I walk on ahead through the trees as Theodore follows behind me. "How could she do that in front of everyone? How can anyone take me seriously after seeing her pour a drink all over me? No one is going to respect me as their Luna now. I'm a joke! I mean, look at me," I grab my dress and frown at the giant red stain. "I knew going to that stupid gathering was going to be a mistake. It always is. It was when I met James, too." I peer back at Theodore. "How could you take me out and not her?Sheattackedme.""You're drunk, Rae. If you actually got hurt I would be as good as dead."I roll my eyes and stumble along the path, tripping over rocks. "I'm never going to another gathering again. Never. Can we—can we even go back? Or is his father still there?"