Chapter 4- Serious jokes

James's pov

"What!?" I stared at my mum wide-eyed.

"What do you mean I've no choice?" I asked again when I didn't get an immediate reply from her.

" It's your best friend's sister's wedding we are talking about here. It's a plus that she's also your friend, not forgetting the groom is too. And oh." She folded her arms across her chest with a paused lips. "You're supposed to be the best man, don't you have a conscience?"

I sighed inwardly, almost relieved that was the extent she was going to manipulate me into going. "I know that mum. Dawn is going to understand my reasons, and he could help me come up with an excuse for Jacob and the Barbsons'."

"That'd be so sweet of him. He could help you lie to his family." It was my little sister, Zara who interrupted sarcastically. 

She had just spoken for the first time since my mum brought up the topic, which was very unusual for her garrulous self.

"Shut up and eat your food kid," I retorted. I didn't appreciate her interruption. No. Definitely not in a topic as delicate as this was for me.

She snarled and I resisted the urge to laugh at how animated she looked. "I'm no kid!"

"That's enough!" Mum decided to intervene. 

Finally. I couldn't stand my obnoxious lovable kid sister.

"And according to you, what're your reasons for not wanting to go?"

"I asked you a question." She sounded stern the second time.

"Huh?" I didn't realize her question was for me to answer.

So many things were running through my busy mind. I started at the mahogany table distractedly as I first calculated my escape from the conversation and then my escape from attending the wedding.

"I want an answer you know," She harped on. 

I knew I didn't want to have this conversation with her, I'd tried the first five minutes of it. 

"Mum!" I yelled unintentionally, regretting it when I saw the hurt on her face. 

I never raised my voice at my mum. When I did, it was either because she'd pushed me or in cases like this were I got unnecessarily perturbed. 

I willed myself to calm down. "Stop pestering me. I'm not going." my voice was gentle this time. 

I stood up from the table, with a surging need to be alone in my room. I could use my mattress right now, I thought. 

"Don't walk out on me Jamie. James! Jamie!" she called after me, but I was too clouded in distress to listen.

I walked out anyway.

Now enclosed in the four large walls of my king-sized bedroom, I pulled off my black T-shirt nonchalantly, tossing it to the sofa.

There was no way mum was going to make me go. Not when she'd be there. Seeing her face again will certainly open up all the wounds I wanted to believe had healed or were healing. I wasn't even sure I could face her without my hands twitching.

I'd be caught on an instance and it would be obvious I'm still madly into her.

What did I just think? No. I wasn't into her. Not anymore.

Yes, you're boy. Why wouldn't you go to the wedding then? Why're you being such a sissy and a coward! My subconscious continued to hammer inside my head.

"Shut up!" I didn't realize I'd screamed out loud until I heard someone from outside my room. "Are you going to scream the house down? or opened the darn door?"

I walked to the door, twisted the knob, and held the door open. I didn't have to ask who it was to know it was the voice of my savior and persecutor. The voice that always put me in track when I intended to slip.

"When did you come?" I asked my best friend, Dawn. Dawn Barbson.

"Just now." He eyed me warily "In time to stop you from falling the house down with your screams," he said then pounced on the bed.

"Huh." I didn't want to talk... or maybe I really needed to talk, before I go mad from talking to myself.

"So what's up?" He asked. 

I didn't reply.

"Jamy? Why were you screaming your throat out?"

All I did was stare outside the window

"What's got your ass pissed? You've always told me everything, man."

Yes, he knew everything there was to know about me, well almost, there was always this tiny piece you get to keep to yourself. But he knew me more than anyone else did, down to the very reason I was as disorganized as I was. The reason for my unnecessary confusion was the history I'd with his little sister. Far from little now, but still, his baby as he'd always called her. 

Two years ago it wasn't easy for him to accept his best friend and his sister together, but he did anyway, and he didn't sell me out to his family or mine. He kept our little secret and most importantly he was there for me when she tore my heart in pieces. When she said the word over. And when  I became a drunk. He was there. Dawn has been and will always be there, yes, I trusted that. Scientific report has shown that people who've been friends for over seven years tend to be forever, and I have known Dawn longer than that. 

Tossing scientific reports to the side, he had proved to me what friendship was. When his sister broke up with me, the first thing he did was add salt to my injury with accusations that it was my fault, but when he saw how broke my person was he took back his words. He dragged me up and soothed my wounds. He made me remember the macho side of me. And that was Dawn, my persecutor, and savior.

So why not tell him? It had to come out one way or another. 

"Y-your sister Dawn." My voice was low and he looked up at me, knowingly. "She's going to be at the wedding right?"

"I figured she was the reason," He muttered, more to himself than me.  "Yes, of course, she'll be there. It's her sister's wedding too. She came in a few days back"

"Oh?"  I shrugged, feigning nonchalance "I see."

"Yeah." 

Silence. 

A tension-filled silence.

"So," we both said at the same time, coincidentally. 

He looked up at me from the bed and I looked down at him from where I stood then we burst out laughing in unison. We were weirdly crazy like that when we wanted to be. 

The large room was still filling with waves of laughter when a knock came and slowly, laughs turned into chortles, and then we seized. 

I sighed with relief that the tension had died down a little. 

"Who's it?" I half yelled.

No answer. 

The answer I got was my mum coming in with a tray that held two glasses of orange juice. She walked to us with the tray in front of her and a smile plastered on her beautifully tanned face.

Enchanted by the scent of freshly pressed oranges, we immediately reached for it, gulping down the contents impatiently.

"So are you ready to talk? I can see and I heard Dawn lightening up your mood," mum said, her face lifting with hope.

"Mum quit trying. It's a no," I replied. If I was writing, the 'no' would be in capital letters to show my emphasis. 

"I just want to know why." She pressed, refusing to drop the topic. Her eyes gleaming with questions, she looked from me to Dawn, and from Dawn to me.

"Dawn could answer for you." She directed to me and then turned to Dawn. "Dawn?"

"Yes, June." He answered addressing her by her first name as she's always insisted. 

"Why's my son refusing to attend your sister's wedding?"

"What?" He looked at me arching both his brows up. "Is he now?" He asked, his voice laced with amusement. 

"Yes, he is. I take that you weren't aware then?" 

My problem was how comfortable they were talking about me like I wasn't there. I rolled my eyes mentally when Dawn nodded like the good boy he always was when my mum was around.

"Not at all ma. I'll talk him around. Don't you worry. He surely cannot forsake his best friend like that, can he?" The question was directed at me. 

I wet my dry lips thinking of what to say to ease the situation. I just needed them to stop talking about me like I wasn't there. I needed my space and bed. Bottom line, I needed them to leave me the hell alone, but there was no way I could tell them that without sounding like a snub, so I let them. 

"W-well." Why in the hell was I stuttering? 

"Well." Mum sighed, her back now turned to us "I'll leave you two to it."

The door closed after her and Dawn immediately charged at me. "What in the hell was that? You aren't attending Mari's wedding? She isn't just a sister to your best friend. She's your friend, and you are also friends with Jacob her to-be husband. What am I even talking about? You damn right went with him to the tailor for your fucking best man tux. Do you plan on standing Cob up on his wedding day? What has gotten into that head of yours?" 

"I agreed that day at the bar right?" I asked the obvious. "Well, I just thought it over. I can't be his best man, you do it. I-" 

"Don't kid yourself. You can't do that to Cob and Mari. Why? Cause you can't man up to your feelings?" 

"Don't you fucking do that. You know that's not how it is," I said through clenched teeth. It only led to more of his scolding and I was t in for any of it. "When you're done ranting, we could talk like buddies. I laid flat on the bed, placing a pillow over my head.

"I'm done, and I wasn't ranting. I'm only stating facts, y'know." 

I wasn't bulging, the pillow remained over my head. Obviously tired from trying to reason with me, he sat down on the bed and dragged the pillows from my hold.

I sat up, facing him. "There's only one reason I'm not going Dawn, and it isn't the way you're thinking. I'm over it." 

"It? or her? " He asked, rolling his eyes.

"Alright. I'm over her."

"Come on, man. If you claim to be over her, over Deila, then you've no reason to not go."

At the mention of her name, my heart stopped.

I could no longer hear all he was saying, although I was conscious of the fact that he was taking, I only heard his voice from a distance. 

Hello.

"Hey there?" He sounded closer just as his brown eyes were now very close, and he waved over my eyes.

I snapped back to him and stared at him. "Hello," I said tiredly. 

I hated that he was treating me as a psycho or a child or... Damn it to hell. Maybe I was just tired of myself.

"I was saying if you are over her, you should be able to face her. Don't you think?" 

Alright. We were talking about going to a wedding she was also going to be at. I  reminded myself.

"Well?"

"I'm not sure. I will think about her. About it'' I corrected quickly. 

He chuckled lightly and knowingly. 

"Come on let's go watch some booties bounce." 

I was grateful that he was trying to make light of the situation, but booties weren't going to relieve me from any of the tension I was in. He strutted out, knowing fully well I wouldn't follow behind. 

Dawn was such a booty lover. A proud woman lover as he'd say. If he was me, he'd have easily gotten over Deila or any other girl.

I went into the bathroom and thought over things while I showered. 

If I wanted to be considerate and not unreasonably selfish, Jacob was my very good friend, we were High school mates and also College mates. I couldn't give him a blow as big as standing him up on his big day. That at the bar, he'd asked me to be his best man and I'd wholeheartedly agreed seen as he wasn't in good terms with his 'cunning brothers' as he'd termed them and his best friend who was in the military was away in Germany. 

Who better than his longest friend would stand in for him? I'd thought to myself that day as I ordered my first glass of tequila. But today as it dawned on me I was going to be facing my biggest fear if I attended the wedding, I was second-guessing myself. 

Also unfortunate for my conscience, the to-be bride and I grew up together as did her siblings. The Martins' and Barbsons' had always been one big family before I was even born.  All these, plus the fact that I needed to assure myself I was over her lead to my decision.

I stepped out of the shower, already knowing I was going to go for the wedding.